When you have a child in "the spectrum" one thing is always certain: uncertainty! You never know what is going to happen. A parent can plan ahead, try with all their might, even say a prayer...but some things are just out of our control. That is why it's so important to remain flexible and open-minded.
Today my child had a pinewood derby with the scouts and I did everything I could to make sure it would be an enjoyable time. I made sure he took his medication an hour beforehand. I made sure he ate a good high protein breakfast. I thought I had everything covered. Well...one thing I forgot about was how chaotic things can get when you get a large group of young cub scouts who are excited to race! We arrived about forty minutes early to give us plenty of time to register and take care of weight requirements for car, etc...It was a good thing we did because we ended up having to do a great deal more than anticipated. Everything was organized very well and the boys were busy with activities while we waited, leaving little or no lag time. The only problem was that by the time my son was ready to race, he was ready to go home. It was very disappointing. He began to get restless and a bit defiant. I felt so helpless and alone as I saw others giving him "that look" which I tried to ignore. If only they knew.
We stayed through the end of the races and then decided to leave. He was overstimulated and it would be unfair to him to keep him any longer. It's at times like these that I feel like he's missing out on some of the most fun social experiences of his life. Other boys were so excited to watch their cars race by and cheered and had a great time. I sat and watched my son barely being able to listen and pay attention as numbers were called. It was heartbreaking.
I am not posting this to make anyone feel sorry for me or my son. I am sure that many of you have probably gone through a similar thing. It's just that sometimes it feels good when you can share an experience and help at least one person know that they aren't alone. Nobody lives a perfect life, and I can definitely attest to that.
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Sometimes I wish I knew what
it's like to have a "normal" life.....
But then I ask myself how much
fun would that really be?
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