I have not posted in a very long time. So much has happened that I truly do not know where to begin. First of all, my daughter (the one who inspired me to start this blog), is now a liver transplant miracle. She received a new liver on February 5, 2020. It was right in the midst of all the COVID Pandemic. She had to stay in the hospital for two months due to kidney failure and other complications related to her surgery. We almost lost her on numerous occassion, and she almost ended up needing a kidney transplant. I feel it was a miracle that her kidneys were able to heal enough for her to carry on without a new kidney. She had to have dialysis for weeks, and her doctors were not optimistic. However, I held on to the faith that she would overcome it, and she did. Nothing can prepare you for an obstacle like that. We made friends along the way at the Children's Hospital who did not have such happy endings. One of my daughter's neighbors in the SICU was fighting liver cancer, and she passed away recently after a long year! She was only 10 years old. We will forever remember her sweet angelic face. My biggest challenge right now is not hovering and giving my children space. It is so hard not to be overprotective. However, my children are no longer young kids anymore. I have a 24 year-old, a 20 year-old, and 18 year-old, and 15 year-old. Trust me when I say that the years pass by in a blink of an eye! This is especially true when you are a parent of exceptional children. When you are going through all of the trials and tough times, it is hard to appreciate that these moments will pass by. In the moment, you are caught up in just trying to survive. It is very humbling. If I could go back in time, I would only change one thing. I would not have introduced the computer to my oldest at such a young age. He was only three and was a genius. I thought I was doing him a favor by helping getting ahead. However, it created some challenges that I feel he faces even to this day. Another thing I would change is how tough I was on myself. I would have homeschooled all my children sooner. I would have noticed that they were bullied in middle school sooner. I also would have advocated more for them at church. Parenting is definitely not easy. However, it is so rewarding! I am so thankful for each of my children and all they have taught me. I cannot imagine my life without them. One day, I hope they will look back on their childhood years and realize how much they were loved and appreciated. Each of them is a gem.

The Real Truth...and Nothing But

My motivation for this post was the realization that people are just not genuine anymore! Facebook has become a place where people can reinvent themselves and create a dream reality to hide the truth. I often see pictures of friends seemingly living the dream life. Of course, we all know that we only take pictures of happy moments. We rarely even acknowledge moments of sadness, despair, or tragedy. I have friends that live in situations that would make most people want to end their life. Yet, they always seem to be in a state of perpetual bliss on Facebook. I think it's time to get real. No one lives a perfect life. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. FYI: my grass is sometimes brown.

First of all, my children are not perfect. Wow! I actually said that at loud? I must be a horrible mother! My main concern with all my children is not if their hair is picture perfect or if they are wearing matching clothes. Those things are so far down the list of priorities, that it is amusing to me. You want to know what my priorities are? Did they get their meds? Did they finally go to sleep by midnight? Are they going to have a meltdown today at school? Did they get enough to eat at lunch time, or did they just drink their chocolate milk? Yep! When I see mothers stressing about trivial things, I have to laugh. I only wish I had those types of troubles. I wish my child was in the soccer team and I had to stress about finding their shoes for practice. I only dream of having those types of normal mothering issues.

Secondly, I do not desire to run a 5K or a half marathon....EVER!!! You will never see one of those stickers on my car. I love to run, but I don't have any desire to do it in an organized way. I used to be on the track team in high school. I don't need the recognition or the notoriety of having a medal or my picture taken at a race. Nope! Those of you who feel the need....go for it!

Thirdly, I truly do have the world's perfect husband. He is perfect for me! I do not go around bragging about our intimacy or the numerous things he does for me on a daily basis. I feel our relationship is built on trust, love, and faith. However, there are times when I want to strangle him! He is passive aggressive, which means he never yells or gets outwardly angry. That makes me angry. It is the Latina in me. I have to let it out. That reminds me....I have a temper! Yes! I get angry and even yell sometimes! Wow! I don't think I have ever said that. I have a lot of patience, but when I lose it...I lose it!

Fourthly, I have a past...a history. I have been through some things. All of these things affect the way I react to certain situations. They have shaped the woman and mother I am today. I probably need therapy and counseling, but never have been for myself. I have managed all these years...so, why now?

Fifth thing, I am amazed at how some people think! I cannot get past it. I avoid confrontation like the plague. Therefore, you will rarely hear my point of view if it is opposite of yours. The only exception is when it deals with autism, scouting, or my faith. Politics is a subject I avoid. It is not a friendly subject.

Sixth thing, since I am basically laying it out there....I want the world to know that my children's autism is not caused by computers, or by poor parenting, or by any other stupid reason you can think of. My children do have feelings. More importantly, I have feelings! If you treat my children unfairly, I will notice! By the way, children talk (no matter the age). I am a teacher, and my students have opened my eyes to what their parents REALLY think!

Almost to last thing, I get jealous! I get jealous when I see friends who get together and go to the beach or hang out. I have not done that in so long. I cannot remember the last time someone just called me and said, "Hey! Let's meet up!" It pains me to admit that I feel lonely a lot. It is my reality. I get some adult conversation at work, and the children I teach bring me so much joy. However, when I get on Facebook and see my old friends hanging out without me, I feel a sense of betrayal and loss. I feel the loss of times when we used to have Girl's Nite Out and went out to eat,or saw a midnight showing of a movie. Those were the days.

The last thing I want to share is my struggle with food. Food is my nemesis. I have recently discovered a company called Isagenix which has totally transformed my life, but food is still a struggle. I definitely have a food addiction. It is my medicine. It is my friend. It is my therapy when I am alone. Food is always there. Thank goodness my sweet husband loves me no matter what. I am thankful for unconditional love.

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Confession time: what would you like to
get off YOUR chest?
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Have I Done Any Good?

One of my favorite hymns is "Have I Done Any Good?" because it reminds me that each day is an opportunity to do something that can make a difference in the life of another person. Small acts of kindness can go a long way. A smile, a hug, a listening ear can all be a blessing for someone. The best part is that they do not cost a single penny!

When was the last time you woke up seeking a service opportunity? The number one thing that parents suffer from chronically is stress and depression. Guess what the number one treatment for these conditions is? You've guessed it....it is serving others. What are some ways we can serve our fellow man? There are countless service opportunities in our communities. There are countless opportunities to serve our family members. There are so many out there who are sick and home-bound. What about perfect strangers? How can we serve them? A smile or listening ear is a great start. What about just helping someone who needs at that moment? For example, you are standing in line at the grocery store and you see an elderly woman unloading her groceries onto the conveyor belt. You can help her. What about that gentleman who has ONE item to purchase and is standing behind you in line. You can let him ahead of you. Opening doors and holding them open is a great way to show courtesy and love. Traditionally, men hold doors for women, but I love to hold doors open for ANYONE who I see is coming up behind me. These small acts of kindness are considered service.

Do you know a parent who has a special needs child? Are they lonely? Are YOU lonely? Why not call that parent and check on him/her? When was the last time you got together? Maybe it is time to invite people over or meet up at a park or restaurant. During the summer there are many opportunities to do things with the kids. Call your local library and see what fun opportunities there are to serve. There are usually family-friendly summer events that libraries plan. These are great opportunities to meet other parents or meet up with friends.

I recently saw a video of a man who decided to do at least one act of kindness or service for another stranger every day. The thing that baffled me was how untrusting many people were. It was actually a CHALLENGE for him to find people who would allow him to do these acts of service. They assumed he was either looking for compensation or they just did not trust his intentions. It made me reflect on the way society is changing. I don't want my kids to live in a world where being nice is the exception. I know that there is so much good in this world. We live in a time where we can reach so many people. The truth is we are closer to one another than we realize. Let's make a difference in the world. Let's teach our children the importance of serving others and the value of small acts of kindness.

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Have I done any good? If not, I have failed indeed.

When Mommy Comes First

Moms are notorious for putting themselves last. As a matter of fact, I am 100% sure that the majority of moms would disregard the warnings by flight attendants on a plane and instinctively place that mask on their kid' face before their own. I am not sure if it is a genetic thing or a cultural thing, but moms rarely do things that benefit them. In fact, no matter how hard they try it seems that the feeling of guilt inevitably takes over.
The timing of this post is deliberate. I wanted to remind moms all over the world that you can do things differently starting 2017! You do not have to feel guilty if you take a little time for yourself, or feel pressured to put your kid's needs above your own at all times. You do not have to spend every last dime on clothes for your children and wear rags that are falling apart. You do not have to put off getting a massage or manicure because your kids want the latest toy or gadget they saw on t.v. NO...NO....NO!!!! Kids these days are spoiled. I am going to spend the rest of this post explaining what I mean.
When was the last time your kids did something for you just because? (Do not count birthdays or holidays.) What kind of example are you showing them? Do they see a woman who is worn out and in desperate need of pampering or some TLC? Or do they see a woman who takes care of her own needs and is happy and emotionally stable? Do they see a mom who is overweight and sick? Or do they see a woman who cares for her body by exercising and eating proper nutrition? Do they see a mom who does everything for them? Or they have a mom who teaches her children to do things for themselves? Do they see a mom who is loved and honored by her husband? Or do they see a mom who is neglected and taken for granted by her husband? Do they see a mom who is spiritually fed by going to a house of worship each Sunday and who reads the scriptures, especially during times of trial? Or do they see a mom who has no hope, no faith, no direction in life?
As we begin a new year, let us all remember that we cannot love another being until we learn how to love ourselves. We should come first. This does not mean that we are to be selfish. It means that we must be prepared to take care of others by first making sure we are taken care of. We are to love others by first loving ourselves. We must respect others by demanding respect. We are to remember the divine worth of others by honoring our own divine worth. This is the only way if we are to reach our full potential. I promise that as we all do this, we will create a generation of adults who will do the same. At the rate we are going, we are creating a generation of children who will become adults who are selfish and greedy. They have not been taught to wait for a reward. They are being taught quick gratification and the need for things to fill voids. We need to fix this quickly! The only way to break the cycle is by setting the example at home, in spite of what they are taught elsewhere.
We only get them for such a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. Before we know it, they are grown. Let us all vow to start now and do our part. The results will be exponential. Let's make it happen!
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The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Is the Hand That Rules the World
-William Ross Wallace
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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

ODD is a real thing, in case you were wondering. I remember the first time I heard this diagnosis. I thought the doctors were crazy! How are you supposed to raise a child whose first impulse is to be defiant?!! It is truly beyond discouraging. ODD is defined as a condition where a child or teenager has a frequent and persistent pattern of anger, arguing, or defiance towards parents, adults, or any authoritative figure. Can you imagine the adult that could potentially come out of a child with these qualities? My first thought was, "My child is going to end up in jail!" It is such a horrific thought!
First of all, let me tell you that I have two children who have been given this diagnosis and I have survived. You can too! The most important things to remember are consistency, patience, and love. Consistency is key. You must not give them an inch or they will take a yard. If you change the rules or expectations it will just confuse them. Kids with ODD need structure in their lives. This is especially true when dealing with a child who also has autism.
Having patience is a virtue...believe me, I know! However, you must practice it until you almost perfect it. Your child will try your patience every chance he gets. He will know your triggers by your reaction to their actions. The key thing is to remain calm. If you need to go away to another room and take a time out, that's okay. Whatever you do, do NOT let your child see you lose control! That is one of the hardest things for a parent.
Lastly, love your child every chance you get. If you have a teenager and he likes to spend most of his time in his room, then knock on his door once in a while just to say, "I love you." I tried this as an experiment and it had marvelous results! He actually came out a couple times. Now, he will say, "Love you too." Sometimes he will come out and come spend some time with me in the same room! Imagine that! A mother's (or father's) love is a powerful thing. It can break down walls, can heal a broken heart, and can overcome the most unimaginable obstacle.
The reason I chose this topic at this particular time is because I have seen positive changes in my child who is now 15 years old. I know every child is different, but I just wanted to make sure you had hope. I wanted to share that no matter how hard things seem to be right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You do not have to do this alone. Seek help if you feel you need it. Please do not give up! I have spent countless hours on my knees pleading to God, but I have also spent countless hours talking with medical professionals and counsellors. Also remember that you will make mistakes. There is no way around that. You need to just brush it off and learn from those mistakes. That is what makes a good parent. What makes a GREAT parent is one who loves their child unconditionally. All children know when they are loved (even if they do not always show it).

Essential Oils 101

I am always looking for alternatives to medicine. I believe that if you treat the CAUSE of illness and not just the symptom, then you will lead a healthier life. For example, if you have high blood pressure and you are overweight, then losing weight may help you get off blood pressure meds.
I recently discovered that many of my friends and some family are using essential oils. What are essential oils? Essential oils are oils that are extracted from certain plants (leaves, bark, flowers, etc...). They have been used since biblical times! They seem to work, but it is not used in mainstream medicine...yet. Why is that? I think you all know the answer. It always comes down to money.
In the meantime, I see anecdotal evidence that suggests the use of essential oils for almost everything. I decided to dive into the essential oil waters and test it out for myself. I started using lavender at night to help me get to sleep. I put a couple drops into my diffuser and let it run for hours. The first night I used it I noticed an immediate difference. I was able to get to sleep a lot faster. This past week I had the opportunity to spend the week at a summer camp with young women ages 12-18. My cabin had 5 girls who were all 13 years old. The first night they could not settle down. I sprayed my pillow with lavender and I slept like a baby. The following night the girls asked me to spray their pillows. They fell asleep quickly and slept like little angels! It was amazing!
I tested another essential oil on my second to oldest son. He has autism and ADHD. We are currently doing summer reading at the school to help him finish the two books and reports he has to have complete before the first day of school in August. He spent 3 hours at school. When we got home, I put some peppermint in the diffuser and he absolutely loved it! He was able to focus and do almost two more hours of homework! This is an amazing testimony to the efficacy of essential oils! I was so excited that I did not have to give him a booster dose of his medicine.
The more I read about essential oils, the more I realize that I have so much yet to learn. Right now I am getting my oils from a company called DoTerra. This is a company my friend introduced me to. The oils are of a great quality and the price is competitive with other companies out there. One thing to consider when choosing essential oils is the formulary and consistency of the oils. This is very important, especially when using for medicinal purposes. If you are just looking to have something that smells good to put into a diffuser, then any old essential oil blend will do. However, when you get serious about it then you want something that is the real deal.
Do your homework and learn about essential oils. There are so many to choose from! I am excited to use the different ones I have purchased so far. I will continue to update you all on what I learn. This is all so exciting!

If The Halo Fits...

This month has been a difficult one for parents to watch the news. We have had mass shootings, a kid falling into a zoo enclosure with a dangerous animal, and an alligator dragging and killing a two year-old boy at a lagoon in a Disney resort. It is enough to drive any parent insane. However, the real tragedy is the judgment of people on social media about these incidents. As if the parents are not going through hell already, they are being charged with neglect, incompetence, and lack of parenting skills.
First of all, those of us who have children know that it is so easy to lose sight of them no matter how hard you try. Kids can escape your view in a blink of an eye. Secondly, in both situations the parents were actually doing something fun and sacrificing their time and money to make fun happen for their child. Thirdly, how many of us can honestly say we have never made a mistake? Especially when on vacation?
I am sick and tired of parents who think they are perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. All parents are just trying to do their best. These events are just tragic accidents and they should be treated as such. We need to stop being so critical of one another. There is no way we can say, "That would never happen to me." Fact is...you can very well wind up in the headline news over something tomorrow!
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Judge not, lest ye be judged
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New Beginnings

Don't you just love new beginnings? The chance to start a new adventure has always fascinated me. However, sometimes change can be so hard, and not knowing what lies ahead can be scary. The other day I was reminiscing about my childhood and all of the adventures I faced as a child. I wish my children would have had the opportunity to move around like I did. I know this is going to sound cruel, but I also wish they could have faced some of the obstacles I faced. They made me who I am and taught me to be a stronger and better person.
When life throws curveballs at you, it's hard to see beyond the moment. It is almost impossible to see the endless possibilities. That has been my life for many years. I was thrown a few curveballs with my children. I was thrown a few more with my health. I have been thrown another one in recent days. It will be okay. Things usually work out.
I want to challenge everyone to take a closer look at your life. Is there anything you can change for the better? If so, don't hesitate. Start now! What is keeping you from reaching that goal? I recently started a new chapter in my life and I am so exited! It is a lifestyle change that I hope to continue for the rest of my life. I will be posting more information about that soon!

The Joys of Adolescence

Although children do not come with an instruction manual, I am convinced that when they reach a certain age there must be a secret book that they read while parents are asleep or something cause inevitably they start to behave alike! This is the case with adolescence. The magic number seems to be 12. They think they know more than you and want to be independent. However, they still want to leave the lights on at night and be reassured you are there when they get home from school. It is kind of sweet if you think about it. They still need you...they just don't want to admit it.
My daughter who has Wilson's Disease is at that age right now. One of my biggest challenges at the moment seems to be getting her to take her medication. All of a sudden she doesn't want to be compliant! Her meds are expensive!! That is why it really bothers me when I see pills lying on the table or counter hours after I give them to her to take. Of course that is not the only thing that bugs me. The fact is that these meds are what keeps her healthy. Without them she could potentially have liver failure. She would most definitely get sick. However, at this age most kids feel invincible. There is nothing that can happen to them. Thank goodness for parents. Right?
I have been doing my job well...probably too well. She hasn't felt the pain associated with having a diseased liver. In her mind she cannot comprehend getting sick. I have to admit that sometimes I forget too. Days go by and I realize that she has not taken her meds. The one time I usually get vigilant is probably about the time she is due for her checkup at the Children's Hospital with her GI and Liver Specialists. It is a yearly reminder for all our family of that elephant in the room.
If any of you reading this are having issues with your adolescent or pre-adolescent then please know you are not alone. Our grandparents went through it. Our parents went through it. We are going through it, and our children will definitely go through it with their own kids. It is a rite of passage for us just as much as them. They say attitude is everything. Let us find joy in the journey.

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If you look hard enough, there is joy
to be found in everything...including
trials.
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Nobody Cares

Are you a movie star or model? Are you going to be in a reality show? Is a government agency that could potentially take away your children going to visit your home? If you answered "no" to all these questions then I want you to consider the fact that NOBODY CARES if you are not a size 2. NOBODY CARES if your home is not immaculate. NOBODY CARES if your children's room is untidy. The fact is that moms are too hard on themselves. Moms need to prioritize and value their time. Time is so precious. It comes and goes, and there is no way to get it back.
Now that school is starting back, I just wanted to remind everyone to chill and stop being so hard on yourself. You are human...perhaps you have ambitions to be that "Supermom" that everyone raves about. However, at what expense? Keep realistic goals for yourself. Make sure to take time out for yourself. Only then can you be there for everyone else.

The Summer Challenge

Summer is a time many families look forward to. However, it can bring about so many challenges for families with children who have autism. The biggest challenge is structure...or lack thereof. Children on the spectrum need structure. They get anxious when they have no idea what is happening from day to day or hour to hour. Camps are usually out of the question, unless they are designed for children with special needs. Summer programs can be costly. Finding children for get togethers or play dates can also be difficult. What do you do?
Here is some food for thought followed by a list of ideas that I have personally tried and found successful:
1) Plan way ahead of summer. You do not want to wait until summer to figure out what is offered in your area.
2) Think outside the box...or even your city. It is worth a thirty minute drive or more for your child to receive something you don't have locally.
3) Ask your friends or anyone you know for ideas.
4) Try to find out what your child is interested in and is good at by exposing your child to a variety of things. You might be surprised.
5) Try to be flexible. Do not overfill the calendar.

These are specific ideas broken down by age/maturity level:
Preschool: If you are a parent of a preschool child then consider continuing preschool through their summer program if it is offered. Although summers tend to be less structured, they still have consistency and that is key! Get together with other parents and try to do something weekly such as meeting at the park, pool, or going to fast food indoor playgrounds. Take turns meeting at different homes to provide social opportunities for you and your child. This is a fun age. Remember that they get excited about the smallest things as long as YOU are excited! Tell your child that you are going on a scavenger hunt and print off a list of items that you two can find while on a nature walk or a hike. Take notice of the things you see along the way and talk about them. Another idea is doing a backyard "safari". Get magnifying glasses and see how many creatures and wildlife you can find in your own backyard! Pinterest has some awesome ideas. I saw one where you get a large plastic tub and fill it with toys and then with water. Freeze it. Then take it outside and do an archeological "dig" to get to the toys inside the ice! Kids this age just LOVE sidewalk chalk.
Elementary: Kids are now a little more self aware. It might be harder to keep them occupied. You need to get some teaching resources to maintain their level in reading, math, and writing. Try to give them learning opportunities. Check your local library for Summer Reading programs or other special programs they may offer. Visit some historical sites or museums in your area. Take a tour at a local factory or other company that offers them. Invite friends over for a lunch/ dinner and a movie. Make cupcakes or pizzas with your child. Let your child do the measuring of ingredients by following a recipe. Play their favorite board game or just design your own. Science experiments using household items are a huge hit! Google for more ideas.
Teens: This is a challenging age. Going to the pool saved me during these years. However, on a rainy day you are stuck. If your child is a reader then you are set! Since they are a little more independent this age can also be so much fun. Whatever you do, do NOT call a get-together with a friend a "play date"! Ever! Go to a movie. Take advantage of Summer matinee deals around your area. Go bowling. Plan outdoor adventures such as a trip to the lake, canoeing, camping (when weather is mild). This doesn't sound like fun, but give them chores with rewards. This will save YOU in the long run. Plus, accountability is key to rewards and fun.

Hopefully this gave you some ideas and food for thought. Every child is different and so is every parent. There is no right or wrong. There is only what works for you. If it works, then it is right.

Parenthood

I have recently discovered the series Parenthood. I am definitely hooked! For those of you who have never watched it, I will give you a short synopsis: it is about a single mom who decides to move back with her parents to get her kids, who are teens, out of a bad situation and get a fresh start. The plot unfolds as you are introduced to her three other siblings and their families. One of her brothers has a son with Asperger's....that is where I got hooked! The series does an extremely good job of showing what it is like to find out about the diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions parents go through. The other thing the writers and producers do a great job with is the way the extended family and friends deal with this unique situation. I finished watching Season 1 on Netflix. I am excited to watch more. The characters and episodes are heartwarming and very relatable.
Watching this show has unleashed many emotions and memories. It has given me time to reflect on past events dealing with my own children. Each of them are so unique. It is no wonder I feel so inadequate. It was like starting all over again with each one. What worked for one did not necessarily work for any of the others. If only they came with instruction manuals! Right? That would make things so much easier. The one thing I could rely on was my support network of friends. I relied a lot on them back then. It was mainly knowing that I wasn't alone. There were also times when we just needed to feel "normal". The only way to achieve this was to surround ourselves with people who were going through the same thing.
I am not going to lie. There were times when I cried so much that my eyes would swell up. There were times when I felt despair. There were times when all I could do was curl up in bed and sleep the day away. One thing you learn as a parent of special needs is to take it one day at a time. I learned to celebrate the little things. I still do.
It is sad to know that Parenthood is over. I always hate to see the ending of something good. However, the reality is that it lives on in the lives of every parent who is still struggling and fighting for their child. I want to thank the writers of this series for showing a glimpse of what it is like for us. I think they did such a good job portraying what it is like to have autism. The character Max was real. He wasn't exaggerated to make a point. His tantrums, OCD, and other quirks were showed in a very real way...sometimes it hit home a little too well.

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Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have,
but the one with the greatest rewards.
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The Dreaded Health Insurance Letter

I contemplated on whether or not to share this with all of you. I didn't want this blog to become a political forum. However, this goes beyond politics. It reaches far deeper into the hearts of every American citizen and especially those with children with special needs. That is the reason I chose to post this entry.
It has been a long time since I have addressed the Wilson's Disease part of my family. I have not mentioned it because things have been going very well. My daughter is healthy and growing like a weed. She turned 10 this year and is blossoming into a beautiful young lady. We had issues with our insurance a long time ago when we were trying to get a diagnosis. Years later we had issues with her medication. It took an act of Congress to finally find a pharmacy that would file it for us and even mail it to our doorstep! Things were going FANTASTIC! But then....the Affordable Healthcare Act (a.k.a. "Obamacare") kicked in.
When I first heard about Obamacare I have to admit that I was skeptical. I felt like it sounded too good to be true. However, being the incurable optimist that I am, I just kept telling myself that things would get worked out. I felt like the media was blowing things out of proportion. I thought that all the stories I heard were the exception. NOW...I can testify to you all that the stories you hear on the news about people losing their coverage and having to change doctors and such is true! It's happening to me!! I want to shout out my story from the rooftops! I want everyone to know that it's just a matter of time before we ALL receive the dreaded letter in the mail from the insurance company.
First of all, our premiums are going up. In order to receive ALMOST the same coverage, we will have to pay almost $400 MORE a month! Our deductible is higher. Another change is that we have a copay for prescription drugs. However, that is just a drop in the bucket. We are self-employed. My husband has two employees and our income is very flexible from month to month due to the economy. That's the way it has always been. Although we probably qualify for subsidies, we are unable to do anything because all I keep getting is error messages in the website and I do NOT trust it! I refuse to put my trust in something that is not even functional!
Secondly, I was informed that I no longer can use the pharmacy that I had been using to get my specialty medication. Well...the problem is that the new pharmacy does not carry my daughter's prescription! I was horrified when I found out! How could that be? I called the insurance company and they told me that all I needed to do was call the new pharmacy and get them to do a "override" so that I could use another pharmacy. When I called them, they told me to call my insurance company for the override because they were not authorized. WHAT!! Now I was in a tennis match between the pharmacy and the insurance company. What was I to do?! All I could do was call the insurance company again and talk and plead my case. I decided that you get more bees with honey, so I was super sweet when I talked to the representative. The outcome? We are now waiting. I am at their mercy. My daughter only has about 2 weeks worth of medicine before she runs out. If something doesn't happen soon, we might have to pay for her medicine out of pocket. Very scary. It makes me wonder how many other families out there are going through the same thing we are?!
Lastly, I am sick and tired of people making excuses for lies and unkept promises made by the current administration. When are people going to wake up?! There is a great change happening to our country. We are going to see many outcomes come out of these changes....some of which I thought I would never see in my lifetime. There will come a day when we will see loved ones on a list waiting to get life-saving procedures. There are already those who cannot afford healthcare. What are they going to do? Will they be able to go to the ER of a hospital and get treatment? Or will the hospital just have to say, "Sorry...we can't see you today. Come back tomorrow." Worse yet, there are doctors that are deciding to have early retirements. There are doctors that are going to decide to take cash only patients. There are others who will decide not to go to medical school. What kind of incentive do they have? My own son is pursuing a career in the medical field. I hope and pray that he doesn't change his mind. We need great minds like his.
My dear family and friends, what our country needs....what we all need...is prayers. We need to pray for our country. I already see my country being ripped apart. There are those who are bleeding it dry. We owe so much money that I can't even count the zeroes anymore. When will it stop? What can we do to stop it?

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Update to follow..........
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What Defines a Good Teacher?

I am very excited to announce that I will be teaching Biology and Spanish to High School students starting next month for the 2013/2014 school year! It's surreal to think that I will have a hand in molding the minds of these young men and young women. I know many of the students on my roll. They are very smart and will definitely keep me on my toes. The biggest question on my mind is this: what defines a good teacher, and can I live up to my own expectations?
To me, teaching is a passion. I have taught kids as young as preschool all the way up to adults. I have given workshops to large groups and have enjoyed seeing those lightbulbs go off as people understand different concepts. The biggest compliment for a teacher is seeing her students succeed. That is always the ultimate goal. That is the reason that I take this job very seriously.
So, what defines a good teacher? A good teacher will be patient, kind, knowledgable, flexible, and humble. A good teacher will create an environment where the students feel like they can ask any question without judgment. A good teacher will know that she doesn't always have all the answers, but will go out of her way to find them. A good teacher will be prepared. A good teacher will rejoice in the success of her students, and lift up those who may be struggling. A good teacher will try to be a good role model. A good teacher will admit when she is wrong. A good teacher will seek out new ways to teach and reach out to her students. A good teacher will do all of this and say to herself, "What more can I do?"
All I know is that I will be kneeling in prayer more often this upcoming school year. There will be fourteen more names on my mind each night that I will add to the four that I love very dearly. I know that with Heavenly Father's help I can be a good teacher.
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Have you hugged a teacher today?
She just might need it!
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Mommy Tantrums

We've all seen them...the tantrums that kids have when they don't get their way. Perhaps you have seen a child who starts to cry at the sound of the word "NO" or "not now". We are all born with these tendancies and eventually outgrow them as we get older....Or do we?
As a mother, I can say that I've had my fair share of tantrums. I have lost my temper on numerous occasions and have said things I later regretted. However, I have learned to accept the fact that I am just human. I am allowed to make mistakes once in a while. I learn from those mistakes and hopefully grow from them.
Recently I have come to accept that some of the traits I strongly dislike in my children are traits that I personally need to work on myself! Traits such as stubborness, being unorganized, and procrastination are things I struggle with. It's not a surprise that I see these same traits in my children.
What is my first instinct when my kids don't do what I ask them to do? Well...it's usually to yell or sometimes pull them by their hair and force them to do it. (Just being honest.) However, I stop myself (usually) and think to myself, "Is this the best way to handle this situation? Or is this going to make things worse?" Just the other day I saw my oldest physically forcing his younger brother to do what he wanted. It was like a lightbulb went on inside my head. I realized that in order to teach my kids how to control those urges, I must first learn to control those myself. What a brilliant idea!!!
Next time I am about to lose it I am going to shut myself in my room and scream into my pillow. I will shed a few tears. I will basically give myself a mommy time-out. I will then compose myself and resume my motherly duties. Yep! That's what I'll do. (I'll let ya'll know how that works out for me.)

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Need a little time-out?
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The "A" List Book Launch

This is an exciting time for me and all of my family. The official book launch of my first published book will take place on November 1st at the Lowder Branch Library here in Montgomery, Alabama! I am so humbled by the support from Julia-Ann Jenkins and all of my dear friends. They truly want to see me succeed.
I added the link to the book on Amazon in this blog. I plan to update you all on what is new and how things are going. In the meantime, feel free to spread the word and share my site with everyone you know.
There are many people I want to thank, but I want to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend Barb Garrison who took the time to help me with my author picture that I eventually used in my book. She was able to help me meet my personal deadline for the completion of my book. I can't thank her enough!

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Book Signing/Autism Discussion
Lowder Branch Library on Bell Road
November 1st
6:30pm - 8:30pm
*Books available for purchase at the event for $16.99
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The Big "A"

Autism isn't a deadly disease. However, in some ways it is like a death sentence for many parents. It marks the end of certain dreams and expectations. It marks the end of life as you know it. For me, knowing that my child has autism just means that the days of trying to find answers for a diagnosis are over. It means that I no longer have to listen to teachers and others tell me that my child is just "strong-willed" or "spoiled". Knowing that my child has autism means the end to rationalizing why my child may behave differently than other kids. It also means that I need to be patient. Asperger's is not so bad, right? Doesn't Bill Gates have it? He turned out okay. Instead of focusing on what my child may not be able to do right now, I will focus on his strengths. I will help him develop those talents I know he has. It is up to me as his mother to push him whenever possible. There will be times when I'm sure we'll want to give up, but we must not. I'm so thankful for the strong support group I have. My mother, my husband, and friends are there for me. I can pick up the phone and I know they won't judge. They truly understand.

Autism doesn't define your child. It is an extension of who they are. Having autism is like having brown hair. Are all brown haired individuals smart? Are all brown haired individuals good at math? Of course not! Get to know your child. They are counting on you to be their advocate and voice. Many of these children cannot speak for themselves. That is the biggest role you have as their parent.


My wish for the future is that the stigma of diagnosis will go away! It doesn't matter anymore! I wish parents would just do what is best for their children. There are also many parents who suffer from mental illness that need help. You cannot help your child unless YOU get help. Going to a psychiatrist or therapist does not make you weak. It gives you the tools you desperately need to be the best parent you can be. Don't ever feel like you've given up.

My Muse and Project

My life motto has always been: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That is what I have been trying to do for the past fifteen years. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who supports me and loves me unconditionally. I have four beautiful children who I adore. Those are the things I hold on to during times of trials in my life.
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The following is the link to my latest project. It is the result of a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. I'm very proud of this book and I hope that it brings hope and encouragement to everyone who reads it. The book is finally listed on Amazon and you can copy and paste the following link to see it: http://www.amazon.com/The-A-List-Yahnira-Backus/dp/1460912071/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340587290&sr=1-8&keywords=The+%22A%22+List
Brief synopsis: The story takes place in the future where autism has reached epidemic proportions. Autism is renamed ASP to include the broad spectrum of disorders associated with the newly discovered gene mutation. The main character, Sarah, is a beautiful young lady who has graduated from a research facility, called the GRF, where young infants are raised and nurtured under a very controlled environment. Parents have to make the difficult choice of either raising these children on their own or giving them up to the GRF. The reader will experience Sarah's journey as she leaves her familiar home, meets her biological family, and begins a new life full of new experiences. She will ultimately discover that there is much more to the GRF than she realized. Finding love and working for the government on a secret mission will only be the beginning of her new life. This story will touch your heart and give you hope and encouragement as to the future of Autism Spectrum Disorders.
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Writing this novel was very therapeutic for me. I was able to use my life experiences as well as the experiences of the many children and young adults I have met over the years. My goal was to capture the thinking process of these unique individuals. I wanted to give the reader a unique perspective into the mind, talents, and challenges they face. Often times I see the reactions and comments made by individuals who just don't understand. They think that autism means "Rainman"...an individual who is a genius at one thing and who otherwise cannot interact with the world around him. That is not always the case. The spectrum is so broad that they are currently changing the guidelines for diagnosis and the labels placed on these people. There is no "one-size fits all" approach when it comes to diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis. After reading my book, I hope people take the main message I want to convey. That is: although there is no cure for autism, that doesn't mean there is no hope.

The "A" List

When life gives me lemons, I like to make lemonade. That is why I chose to write my very first novel entitled: The "A" List. It is now available on Amazon and I am so excited! The following is the link to the book and information (copy and paste): http://www.amazon.com/The-A-List-Yahnira-Backus/dp/1460912071/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340587290&sr=1-8&keywords=The+%22A%22+List

The story takes place in the future where autism has reached epidemic proportions. The name is changed to ASP and includes all the autism spectrum including ADHD and other diagnosis used today. The main character, Sarah, is a young lady who has graduated from a research facility called the GRF where babies are raised and nurtured in hopes they can reach their full potential. In this world, parents have to make the very difficult choice of either raising their child or giving it up to the GRF in hopes they can have a future.
The reader follows Sarah as she leaves her safe and nurturing environment and begins her life in the real world. Falling in love, working at her first assignment, and being an advocate for millions of people in the world are among some of the challenges she will have to face.
If you like romance, suspence, and long for a story full of hope and encouragment then I totally recommend this book! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

My Miracle Leaguer

In my town there is a baseball league called The Miracle League. The name says it all! It's truly a miracle and a blessing in my son's life. You see...this league is for children who could not otherwise play baseball. They give everyone an opportunity to play no matter what their handicap may be. My son has Tourette's and has high functioning autism. He also has ADHD. All these factors have unfortunately kept him from playing in the past. Not any more!
Today I witnessed him gain a stronger confidence and have the kind of fun a mother dreams of for her son. He hit the ball the very first time it was pitched to him! I was so proud. He knew that it was a little different, but he never said anything to me. He quietly observed as each person took his/her turn to bat.
There were service dogs and volunteers all over the field. It was such a beautiful sight! The best part was the feeling of acceptance and nonjudgmental attitude. It was so wonderful.
The league goes through adult so that means that he will be able to play for as long as he desires. Perhaps one day he can coach or volunteer. Who knows?
In the meantime I will treasure every moment and smile as he makes new friends. Today it was a boy named DJ who he felt a connection to. They became instant friends. I love that about these kids. It's almost like they are kindred spirits and they know it. If only we all could be that way. What a wonderful world this would be.