I was thinking about my childhood today and how much fun I had growing up. Part of the reason was that my dad was military and so we moved a lot. That meant that I made a lot of friends along the way. Some friends I only knew for a few months, others I knew for years. They all had an impact on my life in some way and the kind of person I grew up to be.
For reasons I have already discussed in previous posts, my older two children don't make friends as easily. My oldest has self-esteem issues and doesn't seem to relate to kids his age. He loves playing with other kids, but his interests often bore others or else isolates him. My #2 is still not mature enough for me to let him go to other friend's houses without me present, and so he doesn't get the same opportunities that others his age might get. I worry that he can get taken advantage of since he's so innocent. I know he loves playing with other kids and we try and provide those opportunities for him.
This summer I am hoping that my children will be able to reconnect with some old friends and make some new friends as well. I need to provide the opportunity for them to do that. One thing I have promised myself to do is call parents of children who I know they enjoy playing with and setting up "play dates" or other opportunities for them to get together. We plan on meeting up with some friends at the pool throughout the summer and that is something my children are looking forward to. Unfortunately, we live in a neighborhood where most children will be at camps or daycare settings during the summer since their parents work. However, I am sure that we can find some who will be in the same "boat" as us and who are looking for people to play with. I've already received numerous offers for my daughter, including an old friend from preschool. She's definitely my social butterfly. There are also a number of kids in her kindergarten class who wanted her to come over during the summer. I have all their contact information and so we will definitely keep in touch.
Whatever happened to neighborhoods where the children can just roam the streets and come home before dark? Those days are gone. However, we can still find opportunities for children to make those bonds and friendships that they need. I remember when we used to live in an apartment complex and I hated not having a backyard for my then toddler to roam and play. At least now we DO have a backyard and my kids have met and befriended their "backyard neighbors". They have become pros at jumping the privacy fence and making their way into neighbor's yards. I don't encourage it, but it's a fun thing to see. The neighbor kids come over too sometimes and that makes me feel a little better about it.
Another way that children make friendships is through sports. Three of my children will be in soccer this summer and that will hopefully enable them to meet yet other children who they might not have otherwise known. There is nothing like working together towards a common "goal"... pardon the pun... that brings people together. I also enjoy getting to know the parents. When you have children the same age and a common interest, it makes conversation much easier. I have met some really neat people through sports and we have stayed in contact after all these years.
I hope this post will provide some of you with ideas of ways to provide some social interactions for your children. I know how hard it is when you have to work a little harder for this. I know how unfair it seems. I know the pain of seeing other kids your child's age and how they have friends who flock around them while your child is alone for no apparent reason. I know how it feels when the finger is pointed at you as if it's YOUR fault. Don't EVER blame yourself for your child's handicaps. As long as you are aware of them and you're doing everything you can...it's truly not your fault.
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You've got a friend in me.
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