You know what they say... hindsight is always 20/20. I have found that to be true in my life. Don't you wish sometimes that you could go back in time and do some things differently? I sure do. I think if we were wise we would at least consider the advice of older and more experienced people such as mothers and friends, we would not judge others, we would slow down, and more importantly we would learn from our mistakes.
I've wanted to do this for quite some time. It's always inspiring to hear other people's stories about mistakes and lessons learned from them. I wanted to explore some of the things I have learned from my mistakes. I am hoping that you can learn from them and that I can spare you all a little pain. Take it from me.... I am not even close to perfect and I don't dare even try to be. I just do the best that I can and try to learn something new each day.
Lesson #1: "Judge not, lest ye be judged" It's so easy to see faults in others, isn't it? However, I have found that usually we are most critical about things that we are deficient in. For example, before I had children I remember seeing a mother at the store with a child in a shopping cart yelling at the top of his lungs. He was screaming and throwing a tantrum. The mom was so angry that she actually lost her patience with him. I vividly remember thinking to myself, "I would never lose my patience like that with MY child." Well.... famous last words...I think I have lost my patience with EVERY ONE of my children! Patience is definitely something that I had to learn. It did not come easy for me. Luckily, I married a man that has patience enough to spare. Otherwise, I am not sure if my children would have survived toddlerhood. :)
Lesson #2: "There is more than one way to do things." I have to admit that I am a bit of a creature of habit. I tend to do things a certain way and don't usually deviate. I have a friend who has more kids than me and her house is always clean. I asked her what her secret was and she told me that her kids do most of the cleaning. I was floored! I couldn't believe that she actually let the kids clean. I have always considered my house to be my domain and I didn't want to relinquish it. Well... I tried letting the kids clean one day and I found myself watching how they did things and if they didn't do it like I would have done it, then I would go behind them and do it again. (I must have OCD.) Anyways, I have learned over the years that you must let things go sometimes. There is definitely more than one way to do things and you only make it harder on yourself when you insist on YOUR way. Needless to say, I let the kids do a lot more these days. I still go behind them in certain areas....but hey, I have come a loooong way.
Lesson #3: "Never say never." You don't know how many times I have said, "I will never do that." It's amazing how things change as you get older. When I was in my early twenties I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I remember once someone telling me that she was no longer feeding her kids milk. I thought I was going to pass out! How could she deny her kids the calcium that they needed was all I could think about. She tried to explain how she nursed them for a long time and so by the time she quit nursing they truly did not need the milk from a cow, which was made for a calf and not a human baby anyway. Well... this was such an alien concept for me. As you all know... I eventually came to find out that what she said was true. There are other and better ways of getting the calcium. So now I try not say never because you just never know.
Lesson #4: "Don't be afraid to give compliments." You know how many times I have seen a stranger wearing a beautiful outfit and thought to myself, "Wow, she looks so nice." Perhaps you have had an opportunity as well to give a compliment but didn't out of fear that the other person might find it weird or something. Well.. I had the neatest thing happen to me the other day. I was having one of those days and I have to say that I truly did not feel very pretty. I was at the cashier when all of a sudden this elderly woman came up to me and said, "You know I was meaning to tell you something when I passed by you in the isle. You are so pretty." That was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced! I just looked at her and said, "You just made my day." I have to admit that I got a bit teary-eyed. Then she said, "I just didn't know if you would mind hearing that coming from me." I thought how sad it is that people can't just express their feelings that way without worrying about what others would think. I will definitely have to remember to be more mindful about giving compliments myself. You will never know the impact you may have.
Lesson #5: "Murphy's Law will get you every time." No matter what you think, no one is immune. Accidents happen no matter how careful you are. When my kids were younger I always carried a diaper bag. I would usually check it and make sure that it was stocked with supplies, change of clothes, and miscellaneous items. However, it never failed that the ONE time I forgot to check I would be out of diapers, wipes, or change of clothes. Of course, it would be on a day when my child would have a "blow-out" and I would end up having to continue running errands with a child in diapers instead of the cute outfit I dressed him in. It's funny how that happens in life. Just remember that it's all in the attitude. You don't know how many times I stressed about the little things. Don't fret and just remember that worse things could happen.
Lesson #6: The last lesson that I wish to share with you is probably the most important one and the reason that I am inspired to be an advocate and do this blog. It's definitely not my idea, but it's how I try to live my life.... "The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." I wish that I knew then what I know now. There are so many things that mothers stress over that we cannot change. There are so many things we have no control over. However, there are also many things that we can do to make a difference. I stressed over some of the silliest things when I was a new mom. I did not realize my potential or the power that I had inside of me. It's not until you are hit with challenges and adversity that you realize how strong you truly are. I remember when I used to look at moms with four kids in awe. I couldn't imagine how they did it. Now... here I am with four kids and can't imagine my life any other way. Don't ever doubt your abilities. All it takes is desire and motivation to accomplish anything.
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Don't let fear of failure hinder
you from following your dreams.
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