How do you find the strength to carry on and do what you have to do for the sake of your child? How do you find the words to say when you are challenged? Who do you turn to when things get rough? For me, I turn to my Heavenly Father first, my family second, my friends last. Without this support group I would not make it. There would be no way I could find the strength or the motivation I need to be a good mother.
No matter what your challenges are, it helps to have a support group. It can consist of one good friend or a group of friends and family. They are the people that you can turn to for help. They are the ones that are there with a shoulder to cry on. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful support group. Number one on my list is my sweet husband. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and has put up with me all these years. We are going to be celebrating our 16th year anniversary soon and I honestly don't know where the years went! It's unreal. However, when I look back on all the things we have had to endure then it hits me that we have been through a lot in those years. We have been able to grow together and I feel so lucky to have had him by my side through all the ups and downs of parenthood.
Friends are precious to me. I have some that I have known for most of my life. I have also met many wonderful people who have come and gone, but who have left a life-long impression in my heart. I have learned some valuable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Some of those things I have shared with you all in my posts. I have always valued those who are older and wiser than me. It has always amazed me how many people limit their friendships to their small inner circles consisting of people their own age. I guess it's just a foreign concept for me since most of my closest friends are older than I am. Right now I have friends of all ages and all denominations. I have friends who have small families and others with large ones. I have groups of friends that share similar hobbies. Then I have those friends who understand what I go through because they have children with special needs.
The point I want to make is that it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you. Don't take it personal if someone doesn't want to be your friend once they meet your family with all its challenges. That has happened to me on numerous occasions. In my opinion, it's their loss not mine. My mother always told me, "it's better to be alone than in bad company." That is something that has stuck with me all these years. I would much rather have a couple of good friends than to have dozens who don't really care.
I have to admit that I get so excited each time I meet another mom who has a child like mine. My excitement comes from knowing that already we have a special bond. There is a special connection in knowing that she understands how I feel. I know that she won't judge me like other people would. There is also a mutual understanding that no matter what mistakes our children make it won't change our opinion about them or each other. That is something that noone could comprehend unless you were in our shoes. I also enjoy conversations we have and being able to hear someone say, "I understand" and know they mean it. It is truly priceless.
Another thing I have found is the online community. There are hundreds of thousands of families who are seeking others for support and understanding. There are chatrooms and blogs. There are also numerous forums where you can go and read what other parents are going through. You can post words of encouragement for others as well as post your own question or concern and receive invaluable information. This is one I found tonight: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/default.asp I went under google and typed, "autism forums" and had 350,000 results come up! That should tell you something.
One of my friends told me that there is a local support group for parents with children who have autism. She said they offer seminars and often have professionals come and speak on different topics. I have never attended a seminar and someday hope to. I was planning on attending one recently, but it was cancelled due to lack of registration. It was sponsored by our school and evidently it didn't get enough support. I think it's a shame. Hopefully, there will be another one offered soon. I will keep you posted.
The last thing I think is important to discuss is church and prayer. My faith has been my saving grace. There has been so many times when I have knelt in prayer pleading with God to help me. Reading scriptures and praying has helped me to not only cope with stress and discouragement, but also has given me the inspiration and the desire to do more for others. I know that my loving Heavenly Father has placed angels all around me all of my life. I will never forget the day when my daughter snuck out the front door when she was only two and couldn't yet talk. I was nine months pregnant and had laid down just for a second because I was literally exhausted. All of a sudden I felt a chill and felt an urgent need to check on my daughter. I looked all over the house and then when I realized she was not inside. I rushed out the front door. I literally ran down the street looking for my daughter. I was numb and had not yet felt the need to cry. When my neighbors saw me they all calmed me down and helped me look for her. I remember going back into my house and locking myself in the bathroom and pleading for the safe return of my daughter. It was Christmas eve and all I could think of was how horrific it would be if this would be the moment I would remember from now on. It had been twenty minutes and it felt like hours. When I went back outside to look for my daughter I heard others yelling out to me, "We found her......we found her... she's okay.....we found her!" I knew my prayer was answered. That was when I finally was able to feel again and I just sobbed!
I hope that you have the support that you need. If you don't, I urge you to find it. It doesn't matter if you have children with issues or not..... Every mother needs a support network. There is strength in numbers and I can testify that it makes all the difference. Get out and research what is available in your community. Go online and google forums. Surround yourself with friends who really care. Last, but definitely not least, there is strength in knowing that there is a greater force beyond comprehension that can lead and guide you if you would just kneel in prayer.
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And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be
given you; seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you
(Luke 11:9)
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