Should He Stay or Should He Go???

I don't want to brag, but after everything we've been through with my oldest... I think I am entitled to a little good news. Right? For those of you who don't know the story, here is a little recap: To say that my oldest is a smart kid is probably an understatement. He recently turned twelve years old and he is in the 7th grade because we homeschooled and were able to complete two years of academics in one year. Because of his ADHD and Gifted IQ, the regular school setting was difficult for him. He would get bored and get into trouble for reading books during instruction. Even though we put him in Quest (which is a special enrichment program for gifted kids) it was not enough. Also, he was a bit "nerdy" and so he got picked on. He kind of kept to himself and only had a couple close friends.

Now... with that in mind, we opted to put him in a private school this year even though the tuition is outrageous. The peace of mind and knowing that he would be challenged was worth it to me. This year has truly been the best year for him. He has matured and learned a lot of lessons. He's made a lot of friend. He has learned to be more organized and has excelled in his academics. The school he goes to is a special school for kids with ADHD, High Functioning Autism, who are gifted, or have a combination. As many of you already know, kids who are in the top spectrum of intelligence have a handicap in school just as the kids in the lower spectrum. They are a challenge for teachers and they often do not get what they need. This school is awesome because they test the kids and put them in the appropriate level classrooms no matter what age they are. It is an amazing thing to see.

In December I received a packet requesting forms and payment for holding positions for next year before it was open to the public. I panicked because I just did not know what I was going to do yet. I have two children going there and the combined tuition is equal to a house payment. Plus, I wanted to try out the new middle school that was going to open next Fall. I had a lot of things to consider, including homeschooling him. I decided to wait until the Parent/Teacher Conference that was scheduled in a couple weeks to see. When I spoke to the teacher I asked her frankly about my child. I was excited to hear that he was doing extremely well socially and they were using him as a peer tutor and helper. She also said that there was another child who was having difficulties making friends and so they formed a boy lunch group for him and he specifically requested my son to be in the group. She said that he was really enjoying that.

After we spoke for a while about his progress, I explained to her my dilemma and asked her as his teacher what her feelings were on it. She confirmed my concerns. She told me that he needed to be challenged and that a regular middle school would not offer him what he needed. She suggested we put him in a magnet school. However, we did that last year and we weren't going down THAT road again!! She explained that the school would be able to test him and let him skip any sections that he had mastered in various subjects. That would help challenge him a little bit more and then he would be prepared for Magnet High School the following year. That gave me a lot to think about. I did not realize that they could do that. I also spoke with the Asst. Director of the school and she felt the same way and even reassured me that she had many students go on to Magnet High School and that they did very well.

It was a very overwhelming thing for me. I sat down with my husband and we discussed it in depth. We had options at this point. The big question was: could we afford it next year?? We decided that if we budgeted and cut back on a few things, we would be able to handle it for one more year. The next step was to speak to my son. That was important to me. I needed to know how he felt about it. I tried not to influence him in any way. I just asked him bluntly, "What do you think about your school? Do you want to go back next year? Would you like to be homeschooled?" His response was quick. He said he wanted to return next year. That was enough for me.

Sometimes we make sacrifices for our children that we would never dream of doing. It is always difficult knowing if you did the right thing. School is a very stressful thing for parents. It is especially hard when you have special needs to consider. I am fortunate to have the choice because I know there are many who don't. I feel like homeschooling is definitely always my safety net. If things don't work out, then I know that I can do it and that my child will be okay. There are many people out there who frown against it, but I am here to say that you should not knock it til you try it. The hardest thing about homeschooling, for me, was probably staying organized and making sure that I offered enough extracurricular activities so that he didn't feel lonely. The rest was a piece of cake.

I am so glad that so far all of our children seem to be happy where they are. They are all excelling in school and look forward to learning each day. Even my baby who goes to preschool loves going. There is no better feeling in the world to know that your babies are in good hands and that all your sacrifices and hard work were not in vain.
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Is it time to exhale?
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