My older sons have what's called "Fun Friday" at school. If they have a good week and earn enough points they get to participate in an activity ranging from going to the movies to being able to play with their Nintendo DS. This week they went to a local skating rink for their reward. It was so much fun!
The last time we went skating with the kids they could barely stay up on their feet. However, I was so proud of them because they would keep getting up and try again. It was especially frustrating for my #2 because his balance was not very good and he wanted to go fast. My oldest did much better and tried to help as much as he could. However, he also had some difficulty staying on his feet so it was kind of comical seeing them out in the rink together. Well....THIS time, it was so different. I was so proud of my boys. My oldest did great and even participated in some of the games they did. My #2 put on his skates and immediately stepped into the rink and skated so fast I thought he was going to not be able to stop. My heart kind of skipped a beat and I ALMOST stepped out into the rink to catch him. Now I am so glad that I didn't. He was so proud of himself and made sure I was watching him. I truly enjoyed watching him. He looked like he was born with skates on his feet. It was amazing!!
I was thinking that there were some major life lessons to be learned from this experience. The first thing is that we should NEVER give up. We can't succeed unless we first fail and that's a hard lesson to learn. It would have been easy for my kids to just give up after all the falls and bruises they had experienced. There were probably around 60 kids there and I did not see a single child sitting or without skates. Some preferred to skate on the carpet while others circled the rink. I thought it was amazing seeing some of those kids who could barely talk skating like "pros" and I was so proud of them.
The second lesson to be learned is that sometimes we need to LET them fall. That is so hard as a parent. I once heard a talk at church and they related the story of how the mommy eagle takes care of her young. It was pretty amazing. The eaglets have to learn to fly and it's not instinctive. Sometimes when a young eaglet is fearful of taking its first flight away from the nest, a parent will withhold food to force it out. That's the way we need to be as parents. I am sure many of you have seen the movie Finding Nemo and that's the lesson that many parents learn the hard way. We will only push our children away or prevent them from reaching their potential if hover over them or make it too easy.
There is another story that I heard at church and it was of a man who asked the Lord to tell him what he should do to be strong and do His will. The Lord replied, "You see that huge boulder over there? I want you to push it." The man kind of hesitated and then decided to do as he was told. He went over and pushed with all his might and the boulder did not budge. He did this for a period of weeks. Finally, he got frustrated and asked, "Lord, I have pushed and pushed this boulder and it has not budged one inch. Why have you asked me to do this thing?" The Lord replied, "When you started you were weak. Now look at you. Your muscles are toned and you are stronger because of the work you have done. The fact that you were obedient in spite of your hesitation in the beginning has also blessed you with faith. Go now, you are now prepared." When I first heard this story I didn't have any children and so I did not comprehend the impact it would have later in my life. Now I totally get it! We only get stronger if we have challenges or obstacles in our lives. If everything was handed to us on a "silver platter", or if we never had to make choices then there would be no way we could grow
The last thing I want to say about our skating experience is that we should not underestimate our children's potential. My children amaze me all the time. They can comprehend things that even some adults don't get. They have taught me more than I can even begin to explain. My #2 has such a sweet spirit. He can be so loving and so empathetic at times. He is extremely tenderhearted and that can be very challenging when others are not so nice to him. Don't ever let a "label" limit your child's potential. There are so many examples of very successful people in history who were told they could not do it. There is a great site: http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com
and I urge you to visit it and share it with your autistic child. It has a list of famous people with autism and Asperger Syndrome. Famoust people with Autism: Daryl Hannah, an American actress best known for her roles in Splash, Blade Runner and Kill Bill was diagnosed as a child as being "borderline autistic", Christopher Knowles, an American poet, and Matthew Laborteaux, actor on Little House on the Prairie. Famous people with Asperger: Satoshi Tajiri, creator of Pokémon, Dan Aykroyd, comedian and actor, Richard Borcherds, mathematician specializing in group theory and Lie algebras, Dawn Prince-Hughes, PhD, primate anthropologist, ethologist, and author of Songs for the Gorilla Nation, and Gary Numan, British singer and songwriter.
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Don't ever tell a child they can't.
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