I had the opportunity of meeting one of my heroes. Her name is Temple Grandin. People who have autism or live in that world know that name very well. She is an advocate, educator, and a true inspiration! HBO had a special movie entitled, "Thinking in Pictures" which was based on her book. It was amazing. Her life story is one of hope and determination.
She was a guest speaker at Auburn University main campus and I found out about it through a friend. I went with a group of ladies who all have children in the autism spectrum. We had a blast! The experience of just driving there and talking candidly about autism was an experience in itself. When we arrived, the place was already packed with people. We didn't have a seat to sit on, so we found a spot on the ground. We sat alongside many college students who were there to hear her speak about livestock science.
When Temple came out, everyone stood and clapped. It was a warm welcome. She spoke right away about her autism and gave a brief history of her past. She then talked about how animals think and correlated it to autism and how people with autism think. I thought her presentation was very informative. However, beyond that I feel that her spirit and enthusiasm was contagious. She joked around a few times and I appreciated her dry sense of humor at times. Her appearance was exactly what I expected. She was wearing her western long-sleeved shirt with matching pants and buckle. She had some good visuals while she talked to explain some of the concepts. I think you could hear a pin drop while she spoke. It was all very interesting.
When she concluded her talk, she opened the floor for questions. There were questions about autism and livestock. Someone asked her about medication. She admitted that she took medication for anxiety and that it was sometimes helpful for people with autism. She explained that there is a lot of stimulus in the environment that we take for granted. For example, she mentioned how hallogen lights are the worst thing in school. She said the buzzing alone is enough to drive someone mad. She also touched on the subject of dyslexia. I thought she gave some very useful advice on the topic. She mentioned that changing the screen color to pink, for example, can help.
She answered questions for a great amount of time and then they announced that she would be staying to visit with everyone. My group was so excited! One of our ladies had brought a book for her to sign and she was hoping she'd have the opportunity.
Temple stayed for over an hour signing autographs, taking pictures, and even answering MORE questions. I thought she was wonderful. We found out she had given talk that morning and that she'd be back the next morning. However, she didn't mind staying at all. At her age I thought it was quite impressive.
I got my picture taken with her and we also got a group picture. Once I figure out how to post pics, I will do it. I think meeting Temple will always hold a special place in my heart. It was more than meeting someone I admired and looked up to. It was also a moment where I felt a connection with so many people I didn't even know. It felt like I was in the midst of family and friends. That is something that is truly priceless. I will never forget that day.
Showing posts with label Autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Autism. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, October 4, 2010
Feelings of Inadequacy
Have you ever felt like all eyes are on you? Have you ever felt like giving up? Have you ever wondered why you had so much on your plate? Have you ever felt like crawling into bed and crying?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. I wanted you all to know that we are parents who have joined an elite group. We have to work a little harder,a little stronger, and perhaps with a little more discipline than our counterparts. However, the rewards are overwhelmingly bountiful IF you look at the bigger picture. I celebrate small strides and achievements. It is important to do so. I also acknowledge those small miracles that happen all around me. To deny them is equivalent to denying God's presence.
Everyone has moments where they feel like giving up. They feel inadequate. Those feelings of inadequacy are fed by media and judgment from others in the form of looks or comments. You must not compare yourself or your child to anyone else. You are unique and so are they. Even twins are unique and they have the same chromosomal make-up. Therefore, it is fair to say that we all have our own paths and ways of getting to the same destination.
During your journey called "Parenthood" you will find what works for you. Giving up is not an option. Trial and error will become your best friend. I find that even professionals use it. Knowledge is power and with that power comes responsibility. The more you learn the more you will question. The more you question, the more you will add on to what you have learned. You can't deny genetics as one of the leading roles to child's behavior. Sometimes they just come the way they come. The best advice I have for you is to accept those things you can't change, and do everything you can about those things you CAN change! That is the secret to my sanity.
I still consider this blog my therapy. It's important to find an outlet. If writing is not one of your strengths, then find something else you enjoy and do it! Don't let feelings of inadequacy become greater obstacles for you. You are a great parent! You have been entrusted with a very special spirit. This little person that you are raising will one day become an adult. You have NO idea what his/her potential is. There is no way of knowing. All I know is that one day you will look back and see that all your hard work paid off. They are better because of you. In turn, YOU are better because of them.
*************************
Our differences are what
makes the world more
interesting.
************************
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. I wanted you all to know that we are parents who have joined an elite group. We have to work a little harder,a little stronger, and perhaps with a little more discipline than our counterparts. However, the rewards are overwhelmingly bountiful IF you look at the bigger picture. I celebrate small strides and achievements. It is important to do so. I also acknowledge those small miracles that happen all around me. To deny them is equivalent to denying God's presence.
Everyone has moments where they feel like giving up. They feel inadequate. Those feelings of inadequacy are fed by media and judgment from others in the form of looks or comments. You must not compare yourself or your child to anyone else. You are unique and so are they. Even twins are unique and they have the same chromosomal make-up. Therefore, it is fair to say that we all have our own paths and ways of getting to the same destination.
During your journey called "Parenthood" you will find what works for you. Giving up is not an option. Trial and error will become your best friend. I find that even professionals use it. Knowledge is power and with that power comes responsibility. The more you learn the more you will question. The more you question, the more you will add on to what you have learned. You can't deny genetics as one of the leading roles to child's behavior. Sometimes they just come the way they come. The best advice I have for you is to accept those things you can't change, and do everything you can about those things you CAN change! That is the secret to my sanity.
I still consider this blog my therapy. It's important to find an outlet. If writing is not one of your strengths, then find something else you enjoy and do it! Don't let feelings of inadequacy become greater obstacles for you. You are a great parent! You have been entrusted with a very special spirit. This little person that you are raising will one day become an adult. You have NO idea what his/her potential is. There is no way of knowing. All I know is that one day you will look back and see that all your hard work paid off. They are better because of you. In turn, YOU are better because of them.
*************************
Our differences are what
makes the world more
interesting.
************************
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Genetic Factor
I've had a recent revelation. So far at least half of my husband's siblings or close relatives have a child with a learning disability or in the autism spectrum. This definitely proves (at least in my family) that there is a genetic component.
I found this very interesting article. It was published June 9, 2010. VERY recent information about genetic research. Evidently, they have found dozens of gene mutations implicated in autism. However, if I may quote from the article: "Interestingly, not all the genetic defects were inherited from the child's parents. Rather, they seem to have arisen during fetal development or infancy." This is the part that I KNOW is the environmental "trigger" I have ALWAYS believed in!
Copy and paste the following link and you can read the entire article:
http://www.aolnews.com/health/article/latest-genetic-research-may-help-decode-autism/19509927
I found this very interesting article. It was published June 9, 2010. VERY recent information about genetic research. Evidently, they have found dozens of gene mutations implicated in autism. However, if I may quote from the article: "Interestingly, not all the genetic defects were inherited from the child's parents. Rather, they seem to have arisen during fetal development or infancy." This is the part that I KNOW is the environmental "trigger" I have ALWAYS believed in!
Copy and paste the following link and you can read the entire article:
http://www.aolnews.com/health/article/latest-genetic-research-may-help-decode-autism/19509927
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Holly Robinson Peete Keeping It Real
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/holly-robinson-peete/shifting-focus-8-facts-ab_b_501183.html
Holly Robinson Peete wrote an awesome article in the Huffington Post about eight things that the media does not cover about autism. I suggest you read it. I am so proud of her for being able to shed light on a lot of issues that I have tried to in my blog! It actually feels good to know that someone out there (in the spotlight) has some of the same concerns I do.
*********************
This little light of
mine.... I'm going to
let it shine.
*********************
Holly Robinson Peete wrote an awesome article in the Huffington Post about eight things that the media does not cover about autism. I suggest you read it. I am so proud of her for being able to shed light on a lot of issues that I have tried to in my blog! It actually feels good to know that someone out there (in the spotlight) has some of the same concerns I do.
*********************
This little light of
mine.... I'm going to
let it shine.
*********************
Friday, March 12, 2010
Complicated Taste Buds
Many of you are probably wondering the same thing I am wondering right now. Why do my children all have such different tastes? My oldest is the pickiest of them all right now. My #2 is probably my most exotic one. My daughter is a GREAT eater. My baby is VERY picky! However, the things they like don't make sense. For example, my child who doesn't like ANYTHING (let's call him "Mikey") will eat pistachios, pumpkin seeds, spinach or artichoke dips, yogurt, peanut butter (even crunchy), and many other curious things. My #2 (the one in the autism spectrum) will pour Bay Seasoning into a bowl and eat it. I have caught him eating my Bouillon cubes like candy! I don't exactly understand it. However, I did a little research and found some interesting things. I thought I would share them with you.
Found this article: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/19702.php
and found it very interesting. It explains the genetic component that comes into play in determining how children's taste buds might be affected. I already knew the social factors. For example, I grew up eating food from Puerto Rico and therefore I have TOTAL different tastes when it comes to food compared to my friends and husband. The genetic component is fascinating to me!
I was speaking to some parents of children with ASD's and they shared some very interesting stories with me. Many of them had children who were very picky eaters. Most of them ate unusual things and had limited menus. For example, one only eats: chicken nuggets (from McDonald's), cheese pizza, and peanut butter. There was another who only eats: broccoli, cheese pizza with NO sauce, cheese quesadillas, and ramen noodles. I asked them how they did it on a daily basis? How did they go out and eat? All of them said, "We rarely go out to eat" or "We just have to cook different things for him." It made me appreciate MY picky eaters. At least I know that they will eat a little more than that. I introduce new foods and for the most part they will attempt to eat it. The foods I KNOW they don't like, I will fix for myself and husband on days I don't have to cook for them. I rarely fix a different meal for my kids. That would be too much work!
In retrospect I realize that MY own taste buds have changed over time. Perhaps my children's will too. I have to hope that when they grow up and mature perhaps they will feel the curiosity to try new things. I hope that they can appreciate their mom's cooking someday.... Just like I appreciate mine.
********************************
Just keep trying. Don't give in.
It might just surprise you the
one day they actually try it and
say, "Mom! This is good!!"
********************************
Found this article: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/19702.php
and found it very interesting. It explains the genetic component that comes into play in determining how children's taste buds might be affected. I already knew the social factors. For example, I grew up eating food from Puerto Rico and therefore I have TOTAL different tastes when it comes to food compared to my friends and husband. The genetic component is fascinating to me!
I was speaking to some parents of children with ASD's and they shared some very interesting stories with me. Many of them had children who were very picky eaters. Most of them ate unusual things and had limited menus. For example, one only eats: chicken nuggets (from McDonald's), cheese pizza, and peanut butter. There was another who only eats: broccoli, cheese pizza with NO sauce, cheese quesadillas, and ramen noodles. I asked them how they did it on a daily basis? How did they go out and eat? All of them said, "We rarely go out to eat" or "We just have to cook different things for him." It made me appreciate MY picky eaters. At least I know that they will eat a little more than that. I introduce new foods and for the most part they will attempt to eat it. The foods I KNOW they don't like, I will fix for myself and husband on days I don't have to cook for them. I rarely fix a different meal for my kids. That would be too much work!
In retrospect I realize that MY own taste buds have changed over time. Perhaps my children's will too. I have to hope that when they grow up and mature perhaps they will feel the curiosity to try new things. I hope that they can appreciate their mom's cooking someday.... Just like I appreciate mine.
********************************
Just keep trying. Don't give in.
It might just surprise you the
one day they actually try it and
say, "Mom! This is good!!"
********************************
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tribute to an Angel
I can't mention her by name.... nor can I even say how I know her. However, I wanted to pay tribute to this "angel" of mine who has taught me more about my #2 than anyone else in the world!
The truth is that she doesn't even realize how much of an impact she has on me and my family. When others criticize about something my #2 has done, she explains the context in which it happened. When others see a child who is being unruly or a bit noisy, she sees someone who has a lot of "spirit". When I get frustrated at his impatience, she sees a child with enthusiasm and an eagerness to be involved. When my child has a "spiritual moment" she is the first one to share it with me. I feel truly blessed to know her and to have her in my life.
The best thing is that she is going to be working with children with special needs. She feels it's her calling in life. I think she's right. She's not even done with school, but she has already had a HUGE impact on many children's lives. I am so excited to know that she will be joining the ranks of those wonderful teachers who get to work with some remarkable children. This angel of mine appreciates their sweet spirits and their brilliant minds. She loves them and expects a lot out of them in return. It's amazing what a child can achieve when you expect it. It's truly amazing!!
*************************
We make a living by what
we get, but we make a life
by what we give.
--Winston Churchill
*************************
The truth is that she doesn't even realize how much of an impact she has on me and my family. When others criticize about something my #2 has done, she explains the context in which it happened. When others see a child who is being unruly or a bit noisy, she sees someone who has a lot of "spirit". When I get frustrated at his impatience, she sees a child with enthusiasm and an eagerness to be involved. When my child has a "spiritual moment" she is the first one to share it with me. I feel truly blessed to know her and to have her in my life.
The best thing is that she is going to be working with children with special needs. She feels it's her calling in life. I think she's right. She's not even done with school, but she has already had a HUGE impact on many children's lives. I am so excited to know that she will be joining the ranks of those wonderful teachers who get to work with some remarkable children. This angel of mine appreciates their sweet spirits and their brilliant minds. She loves them and expects a lot out of them in return. It's amazing what a child can achieve when you expect it. It's truly amazing!!
*************************
We make a living by what
we get, but we make a life
by what we give.
--Winston Churchill
*************************
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
ABA Therapy Available in Montgomery, Alabama
I just wanted to post this short message to let everyone know that there is an ABA Therapist in Montgomery. Her formal title is: Behavior Analyst. She came and spoke to us during our PA meeting at Churchill and really impressed everyone there. More than anything, I loved her spirit. She had a very positive attitude when she answered parents' questions and had some REAL advice and practical suggestions. Unfortunately, our area is in need of more. She can't do it all by herself and she struggles with trying to meet the needs of our area. She explained that many people leave our area once they are done with their schooling.
If you are a student or are in the process of deciding what route to take in the Special Education realm.... please consider this option. We need more people in this profession. Evidently, it's a good career and our area is in need.
If you are a student or are in the process of deciding what route to take in the Special Education realm.... please consider this option. We need more people in this profession. Evidently, it's a good career and our area is in need.
Friday, February 19, 2010
An Amazing Mind Willing to Share
A recent night at scouts reminded me about how brilliant the minds of children in the autism spectrum are. It also prompted me to share the following experience with you because I thought it would definitely amuse many of you (especially those who know my children).
My #2 never seizes to amaze me. The other day he was explaining what he knew in the subject of mathematics. He asked me what the highest number I could count to was. I told him that I could count to a trillion. He then proceeded to ask me what the highest number was. I told him I didn't know. He told me that it was "infinity". I vaguely remembered that from college. I told him how proud I was that he knew that. He then asked me if I knew what the lowest number was. Again, I told him I didn't know. He told me it was "negative infinity" and looked at me with such a wide grin... the kind that goes from ear to ear. It was so cute. I was definitely impressed. When he gets in this kind of mood I like to test his knowledge on various subjects so I decided to ask him about aerodynamics. I asked him how a plane stays up in the air. My father is a former helicopter pilot and he explained things to him a couple years ago and even showed him how to fly a flight simulator program on the computer. Needless to say, my #2 remembered a lot! He drew a wing and then explained lift to me and even showed how the wind current goes over a CURVED wing! I was floored. I have always known how smart he is, but I guess I didn't realize how much he retains and how eager he is to share his knowledge with me. I am going to encourage him to explain more things to me in the future. It was so much fun.
******************************
Take time to listen to your
children. You might be amazed
at what you hear.
******************************
My #2 never seizes to amaze me. The other day he was explaining what he knew in the subject of mathematics. He asked me what the highest number I could count to was. I told him that I could count to a trillion. He then proceeded to ask me what the highest number was. I told him I didn't know. He told me that it was "infinity". I vaguely remembered that from college. I told him how proud I was that he knew that. He then asked me if I knew what the lowest number was. Again, I told him I didn't know. He told me it was "negative infinity" and looked at me with such a wide grin... the kind that goes from ear to ear. It was so cute. I was definitely impressed. When he gets in this kind of mood I like to test his knowledge on various subjects so I decided to ask him about aerodynamics. I asked him how a plane stays up in the air. My father is a former helicopter pilot and he explained things to him a couple years ago and even showed him how to fly a flight simulator program on the computer. Needless to say, my #2 remembered a lot! He drew a wing and then explained lift to me and even showed how the wind current goes over a CURVED wing! I was floored. I have always known how smart he is, but I guess I didn't realize how much he retains and how eager he is to share his knowledge with me. I am going to encourage him to explain more things to me in the future. It was so much fun.
******************************
Take time to listen to your
children. You might be amazed
at what you hear.
******************************
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Riding the Autism Train... Are You on Board?
A recent conversation with my mom prompted me to write this post. I can't explain it, but I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders. It's because now I KNOW for a surety that she's on board. I think I can compare the experience like an awakening of sorts. It's rather amazing, actually.
There are certain things that people can't imagine. One thing is motherhood. There is no way to explain it.... you have to experience it. The same goes for autism. It's a whole different world. When you know someone who has autism the world is no longer the same and it also changes you. I know, personally, I have gained more patience and more understanding. I have also grown to LOVE children with disabilities. Although my child's condition is not as severe as Down Syndrome or other children with low functioning autism, I look at those children and I understand them. I think I even appreciate them. It's hard to explain. One reason might be that my religion teaches that children with such disabilities are such special spirits that they cannot sin and therefore don't need to be baptized. They come to earth to experience a mortal body and that is all they need to progress in the next life. I think that is such an awesome teaching of our church.
If you are a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance of someone who has a child with autism then you have a glimpse of what I am talking about. However, you don't really KNOW what it's like to live day to day. You don't see the tantrums, the meltdowns, the overstimulation, or frustration that comes with autism. My child is harder on himself than anyone I know. When I see others belittling him or not taking notice of his progress it really hurts. His behavior in public has improved dramatically, but it's because we work with him on a daily basis. He is in a special school where we sacrifice a very large tuition to make sure he gets the best help. We sacrifice going on family trips or getting expensive clothes, for example, in order to pay the expenses that come with autism. I am here to tell you that it's not just the tuition for the school, but it's also doctor bills that aren't covered by insurance, psychologist testing, speech therapy when he was younger, occupational therapy that we could not afford for very long, AND the medication!
What does it mean to be "on board" with someone who is struggling with a child who has autism? 1) Don't judge. 2) Learn as much about it as you can. 3)Be understanding and empathetic. 4)Remember that autism doesn't define who the child is, but rather explains the behavior. 5)Don't always assume that the child is at fault... sometimes they can't stand up for themselves. 6)Know that the parents and the child are harder on themselves than meets the eye. 7) Don't forget to praise once in a while when appropriate....it gets REALLY old just hearing negative comments.
I can't stress enough the fact that things aren't always what they seem. Case and point: I can remember one day when my #2 was horrible! I think I was near my breaking point. He had done almost everything you could think of. I had spanked him, grounded him. Nothing seemed to work. (This was before we had a diagnosis.) Well... the week gradually got better and we actually ended up having a decent week. So, I decided as positive reinforcement we would go to Stevie B's Pizza and have a family night. Our rule was the kids had to eat before they could go and play in the arcade. As soon as my #2 finished, he was eager to go into the arcade. We went in and there was a grandma with her perfect granddaughter playing. Of course, my #2 was so excited to play, but I had to get change. I went to the machine and the grandma was standing in line to get tokens. My #2 proceeded to stand by the machine as we waited our turn. However, he doesn't know personal space and he evidently got a little too close and it bothered the grandma. I could tell and so I told him to move and to stand by me. I then looked at the grandma and said, "He's just excited...he's only a kid." (I was hoping she would be understanding.) Her response was, "No.... YOU just need to be a parent!!" My jaw just hit the floor. I couldn't believe what she had said. There are many things I could have told her. However, I just ignored her and avoided her the rest of the time we were there. That is one of the best examples I can share with you to show you a glimpse of what people just don't know and how prejudging someone can really hurt. Little did she know that parenting is ALL I do 24/7 and that I have to pick my battles, and if I reprimanded my child for something he has no control over then I would not be doing my job as his mother.
************************************
I am the tank engine that provides
the momentum to pull the heavy loads,
but if the cars don't follow then I
might as well pull with all my might
til kingdom come 'cause they aren't
going to budge.
************************************
There are certain things that people can't imagine. One thing is motherhood. There is no way to explain it.... you have to experience it. The same goes for autism. It's a whole different world. When you know someone who has autism the world is no longer the same and it also changes you. I know, personally, I have gained more patience and more understanding. I have also grown to LOVE children with disabilities. Although my child's condition is not as severe as Down Syndrome or other children with low functioning autism, I look at those children and I understand them. I think I even appreciate them. It's hard to explain. One reason might be that my religion teaches that children with such disabilities are such special spirits that they cannot sin and therefore don't need to be baptized. They come to earth to experience a mortal body and that is all they need to progress in the next life. I think that is such an awesome teaching of our church.
If you are a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance of someone who has a child with autism then you have a glimpse of what I am talking about. However, you don't really KNOW what it's like to live day to day. You don't see the tantrums, the meltdowns, the overstimulation, or frustration that comes with autism. My child is harder on himself than anyone I know. When I see others belittling him or not taking notice of his progress it really hurts. His behavior in public has improved dramatically, but it's because we work with him on a daily basis. He is in a special school where we sacrifice a very large tuition to make sure he gets the best help. We sacrifice going on family trips or getting expensive clothes, for example, in order to pay the expenses that come with autism. I am here to tell you that it's not just the tuition for the school, but it's also doctor bills that aren't covered by insurance, psychologist testing, speech therapy when he was younger, occupational therapy that we could not afford for very long, AND the medication!
What does it mean to be "on board" with someone who is struggling with a child who has autism? 1) Don't judge. 2) Learn as much about it as you can. 3)Be understanding and empathetic. 4)Remember that autism doesn't define who the child is, but rather explains the behavior. 5)Don't always assume that the child is at fault... sometimes they can't stand up for themselves. 6)Know that the parents and the child are harder on themselves than meets the eye. 7) Don't forget to praise once in a while when appropriate....it gets REALLY old just hearing negative comments.
I can't stress enough the fact that things aren't always what they seem. Case and point: I can remember one day when my #2 was horrible! I think I was near my breaking point. He had done almost everything you could think of. I had spanked him, grounded him. Nothing seemed to work. (This was before we had a diagnosis.) Well... the week gradually got better and we actually ended up having a decent week. So, I decided as positive reinforcement we would go to Stevie B's Pizza and have a family night. Our rule was the kids had to eat before they could go and play in the arcade. As soon as my #2 finished, he was eager to go into the arcade. We went in and there was a grandma with her perfect granddaughter playing. Of course, my #2 was so excited to play, but I had to get change. I went to the machine and the grandma was standing in line to get tokens. My #2 proceeded to stand by the machine as we waited our turn. However, he doesn't know personal space and he evidently got a little too close and it bothered the grandma. I could tell and so I told him to move and to stand by me. I then looked at the grandma and said, "He's just excited...he's only a kid." (I was hoping she would be understanding.) Her response was, "No.... YOU just need to be a parent!!" My jaw just hit the floor. I couldn't believe what she had said. There are many things I could have told her. However, I just ignored her and avoided her the rest of the time we were there. That is one of the best examples I can share with you to show you a glimpse of what people just don't know and how prejudging someone can really hurt. Little did she know that parenting is ALL I do 24/7 and that I have to pick my battles, and if I reprimanded my child for something he has no control over then I would not be doing my job as his mother.
************************************
I am the tank engine that provides
the momentum to pull the heavy loads,
but if the cars don't follow then I
might as well pull with all my might
til kingdom come 'cause they aren't
going to budge.
************************************
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Sibling Effect
So much focus is given to the children with problems that often the siblings are left feeling ignored, unloved, and needing attention. This often leads to the kids "acting out" or sometimes even mimicking the behavior in hopes that THEY too will get attention. Remember that negative attention is attention nonetheless. That is something that psychologists have drilled into my head over the years.
I am just as guilty as anyone else out there. I have ignored my daughter, for example, on numerous occasions since she rarely gives us trouble and she is almost the "perfect" child in every way. She does well in school, has lots of friends, and is a very loving and sweet child. My oldest used to give us so much trouble when he was younger, that NOW we often ignore him as well since he is thirteen and rarely gives us trouble as well.... especially compared to how it was when he was younger. That leaves only two others that demand a lot of my attention at the moment. I try very hard to give it to them, but it's hard sometimes to do it without doing it at the expense of others. I was thinking about that the other day and it prompted me to write this entry. I am going to call it the "Sibling Effect" and it definitely covers a lot more than it sounds.
The Sibling Effect is the way others treat or perceive your children without knowing them, but only knowing one or more siblings. It also refers to the way siblings are treated by parents. This can be positive or negative. For example, your oldest child has a teacher and the experience is negative. The sibling has the same teacher years later, but the negative reputation is already there in spite of the fact that they are two completely different individuals. They look the same and possibly have some of the same mannerisms and that just makes things more complicated. However, another way of looking at it is that the parent will often have certain expectations even though there are two completely different individuals involved. This also works in the opposite manner. If your oldest child is well-behaved and a good kid then people are going to assume that future children will be the same. The parent will often expect good behavior and then doesn't understand why the child is misbehaving or acting so differently. This leads to frustration and often misguided efforts to use the same kind of discipline,etc.. on the child.
It's an unfair thing, but it happens all the time. The problem especially arises when you have a child with special needs. It often isolates the siblings because children are so cruel. It's hard to change a child's reputation especially among other children. I have a dear friend whose child is in the autism spectrum and she can't allow him to go to a friend's house unsupervised. She has a younger daughter who is typical and often asks if she can go play at a friend's house. It's so hard for her since she has to constantly explain why rules differ for the children. Her son often gets angry and frustrated because he can't play with other children, while his younger sister is allowed. However, the worst part is that he is seldom asked to play by other children and so he will often invite himself. He has been shunned and teased by children in his neighborhood on numerous occasions. It's almost too much for the mother to bear.
I can only speak from experience, but after my son's diagnosis I almost held my breath with my next two children. It was almost like I expected the worst but hoped for the best. I said a lot of prayers and tried to remain optimistic. When my daughter had speech delay I almost felt like giving up! I didn't want to go through it all again.... it seemed so unfair. However, I am so glad that I didn't give up. I worked really hard with her and today she is doing great. My youngest has speech delay as well and I thought to myself, "here we go again..." However, THIS time I have the knowledge and experience I have acquired over the years and that gives me an advantage. I have to remind myself that he is an individual and there are NO limits to his potential.
I feel so protective of my children, but especially my second child. He has been diagnosed with PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), Tourette's (also known as "ticks"), and ADHD. One can only imagine the complications in trying to get him enough social interaction. He's an awesome kid and very intelligent. However, he lacks a lot of social skills and other kids his age don't understand him. Actually, many ADULTS don't understand him. I am just so thankful for the school he attends because he has made so many friends and the parents and teachers adore him! One thing that I worry about is the fact that my youngest looks and acts SO much like him. I have seen the "Sibling Effect" on numerous occasions and don't really know what to do about it. I feel like the only thing I CAN do is just educate others. They need to know that he is not like his brother. At the moment his only challenge is he is speech delayed. Of course with that comes other issues, but he is progressing and doing so well. I see a lot of his sister in him. I am quite optimistic about his future. He is speaking better than any of his siblings at the same age. That in itself gives me a lot of hope.
My hope is that someone will read this post and either #1: think twice about prejudging a child based on knowledge of a sibling or #2: know that they aren't alone and that others are aware of the problem AND that something can be done about it. We don't need to sit back and ignore something like this. The way a child is treated will shape the kind of person he/she will become. It doesn't matter if the child is typical or special-needs.... it's all the same.
*************************************
The worst thing you can do to a child
is ignore him.... but worse yet is to
prejudge him and form opinions before
even getting to know him.
*************************************
I am just as guilty as anyone else out there. I have ignored my daughter, for example, on numerous occasions since she rarely gives us trouble and she is almost the "perfect" child in every way. She does well in school, has lots of friends, and is a very loving and sweet child. My oldest used to give us so much trouble when he was younger, that NOW we often ignore him as well since he is thirteen and rarely gives us trouble as well.... especially compared to how it was when he was younger. That leaves only two others that demand a lot of my attention at the moment. I try very hard to give it to them, but it's hard sometimes to do it without doing it at the expense of others. I was thinking about that the other day and it prompted me to write this entry. I am going to call it the "Sibling Effect" and it definitely covers a lot more than it sounds.
The Sibling Effect is the way others treat or perceive your children without knowing them, but only knowing one or more siblings. It also refers to the way siblings are treated by parents. This can be positive or negative. For example, your oldest child has a teacher and the experience is negative. The sibling has the same teacher years later, but the negative reputation is already there in spite of the fact that they are two completely different individuals. They look the same and possibly have some of the same mannerisms and that just makes things more complicated. However, another way of looking at it is that the parent will often have certain expectations even though there are two completely different individuals involved. This also works in the opposite manner. If your oldest child is well-behaved and a good kid then people are going to assume that future children will be the same. The parent will often expect good behavior and then doesn't understand why the child is misbehaving or acting so differently. This leads to frustration and often misguided efforts to use the same kind of discipline,etc.. on the child.
It's an unfair thing, but it happens all the time. The problem especially arises when you have a child with special needs. It often isolates the siblings because children are so cruel. It's hard to change a child's reputation especially among other children. I have a dear friend whose child is in the autism spectrum and she can't allow him to go to a friend's house unsupervised. She has a younger daughter who is typical and often asks if she can go play at a friend's house. It's so hard for her since she has to constantly explain why rules differ for the children. Her son often gets angry and frustrated because he can't play with other children, while his younger sister is allowed. However, the worst part is that he is seldom asked to play by other children and so he will often invite himself. He has been shunned and teased by children in his neighborhood on numerous occasions. It's almost too much for the mother to bear.
I can only speak from experience, but after my son's diagnosis I almost held my breath with my next two children. It was almost like I expected the worst but hoped for the best. I said a lot of prayers and tried to remain optimistic. When my daughter had speech delay I almost felt like giving up! I didn't want to go through it all again.... it seemed so unfair. However, I am so glad that I didn't give up. I worked really hard with her and today she is doing great. My youngest has speech delay as well and I thought to myself, "here we go again..." However, THIS time I have the knowledge and experience I have acquired over the years and that gives me an advantage. I have to remind myself that he is an individual and there are NO limits to his potential.
I feel so protective of my children, but especially my second child. He has been diagnosed with PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), Tourette's (also known as "ticks"), and ADHD. One can only imagine the complications in trying to get him enough social interaction. He's an awesome kid and very intelligent. However, he lacks a lot of social skills and other kids his age don't understand him. Actually, many ADULTS don't understand him. I am just so thankful for the school he attends because he has made so many friends and the parents and teachers adore him! One thing that I worry about is the fact that my youngest looks and acts SO much like him. I have seen the "Sibling Effect" on numerous occasions and don't really know what to do about it. I feel like the only thing I CAN do is just educate others. They need to know that he is not like his brother. At the moment his only challenge is he is speech delayed. Of course with that comes other issues, but he is progressing and doing so well. I see a lot of his sister in him. I am quite optimistic about his future. He is speaking better than any of his siblings at the same age. That in itself gives me a lot of hope.
My hope is that someone will read this post and either #1: think twice about prejudging a child based on knowledge of a sibling or #2: know that they aren't alone and that others are aware of the problem AND that something can be done about it. We don't need to sit back and ignore something like this. The way a child is treated will shape the kind of person he/she will become. It doesn't matter if the child is typical or special-needs.... it's all the same.
*************************************
The worst thing you can do to a child
is ignore him.... but worse yet is to
prejudge him and form opinions before
even getting to know him.
*************************************
Monday, January 18, 2010
Knowing Your Rights
What are your rights as a parent in regards to services and help for your child as they get older? That was a question that was posed today by a mother of a teenager. She only has three years before her child is 18 years old. I haven't even thought about that since #1: my child is only 9 at the moment and #2: I am optimistic that my child won't need any services by then. However, it is better to be prepared just in case.
The first thing that comes to mind is SSI or social security benefits. However, I think it is based on household income so I am not sure how that works. Here are a few links with information:
http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/social-security.html
http://www.autism-world.com/index.php/2007/10/14/does-children-with-autism-qualify-for-disability-benefits/
Sometimes you might need legal help. I found the following site and although I am not endorsing them or even familiar with the firm, I thought I would post it so that you can see some of the points they make on the site: http://www.socialsecuritylawfirms.com/resources/social-security/social-security-disability-coverage/child-autism.htm
I will try and do some extensive research and post my findings in the near future.
The first thing that comes to mind is SSI or social security benefits. However, I think it is based on household income so I am not sure how that works. Here are a few links with information:
http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/social-security.html
http://www.autism-world.com/index.php/2007/10/14/does-children-with-autism-qualify-for-disability-benefits/
Sometimes you might need legal help. I found the following site and although I am not endorsing them or even familiar with the firm, I thought I would post it so that you can see some of the points they make on the site: http://www.socialsecuritylawfirms.com/resources/social-security/social-security-disability-coverage/child-autism.htm
I will try and do some extensive research and post my findings in the near future.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Importance of Continuing Education
Professionals such as my husband have what they call continuing education and it's required to maintain their careers. When I was a Medical Technologist we had to have certain amount of hours to maintain current on issues concerning the lab. Well... motherhood is one of the toughest jobs in the world. I feel strongly that moms (as well as dads) should also keep "current" on issues concerning their children.
Seminars, workshops, and various other events occur all the time in our city. Sometimes you have to keep your eyes and ears open, but they are available (usually free of charge) for parents. The city actually has a budget for education and it includes education for parents. Everyone knows that raising children has it challenges, but raising children with challenges poses a totally different kind of situation. I have seen so many people get divorced due to the stress and the financial burden that usually accompanies. It's no wonder that cities devote so much effort into educating parents.
I urge you to find out when/where seminars are offered. They are usually at churches, schools, and libraries. The more support we get, the better off we are. Don't ever feel like you have to do it alone. There are so many people who are too proud to ask for help or to accept it. I have to say that I've made some great contacts going to seminars and support groups. There is always strength in numbers.
**************************
A little help never hurts.
**************************
Seminars, workshops, and various other events occur all the time in our city. Sometimes you have to keep your eyes and ears open, but they are available (usually free of charge) for parents. The city actually has a budget for education and it includes education for parents. Everyone knows that raising children has it challenges, but raising children with challenges poses a totally different kind of situation. I have seen so many people get divorced due to the stress and the financial burden that usually accompanies. It's no wonder that cities devote so much effort into educating parents.
I urge you to find out when/where seminars are offered. They are usually at churches, schools, and libraries. The more support we get, the better off we are. Don't ever feel like you have to do it alone. There are so many people who are too proud to ask for help or to accept it. I have to say that I've made some great contacts going to seminars and support groups. There is always strength in numbers.
**************************
A little help never hurts.
**************************
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Does My Story Sound Familiar?
I have met so many mothers with the same story to tell. I feel very fortunate to have this forum in which to voice my story and some of those I feel important to share. It's no accident that I have met some wonderful mothers along the way and they have taught me more than I can say. My hope has always been that I would be able to reach just ONE person. I felt that my mission would be accomplished if even one person was helped by my struggles. However, I have exceeded my expectations and I have reached dozens of mothers who are struggling and have no other place to go. In the process I have also learned so much and recently I had one of those "light bulb" moments. The following story could be YOUR story. Nonetheless it is a true story.
We take it for granted that we live in the United States of America. It's truly a land of freedom and hope. As long as we work hard and try our best, we can expect great things. I recently spoke with a mother who is from a foreign country where children with disabilities are tolerated, at best. She explained that they don't offer services in the schools and basically treat them like any other child. If they don't get it... they just don't get it. There is no "special" treatment at all! Parents are often embarrassed and have no other place to turn to for help. It's a fact of life that she doesn't want to even consider for herself. Right now she is here where things are going great, and she can potentially receive any and all services her child needs. However, that could all change in a blink of an eye. It's too much for her to bear. It's truly too much for ME to even think about.
No matter how much we may complain about the quality of services or the amount of services offered in our area, at least we have the opportunity to receive some help for our children. We have invaluable resources at our fingertips. Many services are free of charge and it doesn't take a lot of effort to receive them, in most instances. For the most part, our society does not shun others with disabilities. I see young men and women with disabilities working in various capacities and living independent lives. There is also HOPE in our country for parents. That is such a big deal. Without hope there would not be advances in treatments and services. Parents would just give up and probably resort to putting their children in asylums or possibly abandoning them at an orphanage doorstep. That is a reality in some countries.
As we celebrate the holidays, let us all give thanks for the blessings we have in the U.S. Let us not forget the people who have given up their lives for the freedoms and rights we have today. Let us not forget the miles we have traveled and the miles we have yet to travel. Let us not forget the past... lest we repeat it. As we begin the year 2010, I pray that we keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and that we try to always think of others before ourselves. I have learned that small things truly make a difference in others' lives. It doesn't have to be miraculous things. Sometimes people just need someone who will listen. We don't always have all the answers. It's amazing how much power a hug or a smile can have. Begin the new year with a positive attitude and you will see amazing things happen in your life.
***********************************
God bless you and yours.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
***********************************
We take it for granted that we live in the United States of America. It's truly a land of freedom and hope. As long as we work hard and try our best, we can expect great things. I recently spoke with a mother who is from a foreign country where children with disabilities are tolerated, at best. She explained that they don't offer services in the schools and basically treat them like any other child. If they don't get it... they just don't get it. There is no "special" treatment at all! Parents are often embarrassed and have no other place to turn to for help. It's a fact of life that she doesn't want to even consider for herself. Right now she is here where things are going great, and she can potentially receive any and all services her child needs. However, that could all change in a blink of an eye. It's too much for her to bear. It's truly too much for ME to even think about.
No matter how much we may complain about the quality of services or the amount of services offered in our area, at least we have the opportunity to receive some help for our children. We have invaluable resources at our fingertips. Many services are free of charge and it doesn't take a lot of effort to receive them, in most instances. For the most part, our society does not shun others with disabilities. I see young men and women with disabilities working in various capacities and living independent lives. There is also HOPE in our country for parents. That is such a big deal. Without hope there would not be advances in treatments and services. Parents would just give up and probably resort to putting their children in asylums or possibly abandoning them at an orphanage doorstep. That is a reality in some countries.
As we celebrate the holidays, let us all give thanks for the blessings we have in the U.S. Let us not forget the people who have given up their lives for the freedoms and rights we have today. Let us not forget the miles we have traveled and the miles we have yet to travel. Let us not forget the past... lest we repeat it. As we begin the year 2010, I pray that we keep the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and that we try to always think of others before ourselves. I have learned that small things truly make a difference in others' lives. It doesn't have to be miraculous things. Sometimes people just need someone who will listen. We don't always have all the answers. It's amazing how much power a hug or a smile can have. Begin the new year with a positive attitude and you will see amazing things happen in your life.
***********************************
God bless you and yours.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
***********************************
Monday, August 17, 2009
When Life Gives You Lemons....
I found out a very good piece of information today that I wanted to share with all of you out there who have children with special needs. If you have any plans to go to Disney in Florida then this information could save you a lot of time, hassle, and more importantly... your sanity!
I met a lady today who has a child with autism. She told me that when they went to Disney this summer they went directly to the visitor's center and showed them the paperwork with her son's diagnosis. The people at Disney then gave the family 4 passes that would enable them to go directly to the front of the line and not have to wait!! Yes... you heard correctly.... NO WAIT! I asked her if this was for every ride in the park and she said it was. I was so excited!!! Last November we went to Disney and we had to wait for hours at every ride. Even with the "Fastpass" it was a challenge getting into the rides because a lot of the rides we wanted to ride did not have that option. We ended up having to split up a few times to coordinate the tickets.
Hey....I've always said that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Why not? I have definitely deserved SOME relief in my life. I think I hear Disney calling my name!
********************************
M-I-C-K-E-Y.....M-O-U-S-E.......
********************************
I met a lady today who has a child with autism. She told me that when they went to Disney this summer they went directly to the visitor's center and showed them the paperwork with her son's diagnosis. The people at Disney then gave the family 4 passes that would enable them to go directly to the front of the line and not have to wait!! Yes... you heard correctly.... NO WAIT! I asked her if this was for every ride in the park and she said it was. I was so excited!!! Last November we went to Disney and we had to wait for hours at every ride. Even with the "Fastpass" it was a challenge getting into the rides because a lot of the rides we wanted to ride did not have that option. We ended up having to split up a few times to coordinate the tickets.
Hey....I've always said that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Why not? I have definitely deserved SOME relief in my life. I think I hear Disney calling my name!
********************************
M-I-C-K-E-Y.....M-O-U-S-E.......
********************************
Monday, August 10, 2009
When Do I Need to Worry?
I feel the need to post this at this time since school is back in session. There are so many things that parents worry about. Some of those things are legitimate concerns, while others stem from unrealistic expectations that society and sometimes teachers put on them. Let me preface the following by saying that these "milestones" are intended for children who are past the age of toddlerhood. I have made numerous posts in the past about what to look out for in babies and toddlers. However, toddlers are too young to categorize. It has been my experience that with toddlers there is such a wide range of development that it would take a book to cover all the milestones. Also, the milestones are so vague that they can span months and some overlap. It's definitely more complex.
Social Milestones:
Not all children are going to be social butterflies. Some kids are naturally shy and they don't want to be the center of attention. This could EASILY be misinterpreted as "issues" that a child may not have. For example, if your child is shy and afraid to speak in public then reading out loud in a classroom environment may not work for her. This might lead the teacher to think that the child has a reading problem when in fact it's a shyness problem. My point here is that you know your child. If your gut feeling tells you that he/she is not happy then you definitely need to get testing and confirmation. Otherwise, don't worry about your child and instead help the situation by being the supportive and loving parent you are. These are SOME of the early signs of problems in young children that need to be checked out:
not wanting to be touched or reacting to touch in a very negative manner, being sensitive to sounds or colors, not wanting to eat but a VERY limited diet, playing with toys in a unique fashion such as always lining them up or being fixated on a particular part of a toy versus playing with it in an appropriate manner, acting depressed the majority of the time, and my favorite....numerous temper tantrums.
Physical Milestones:
Not all children are going to grow up the same. My children are nicknamed "Amazon kids" and they are tall for their age. I have a friend whose kids are all very tiny until they reach preteen years and then they grow like weeds. As long as your child is steadily growing and gaining weight then you have nothing to worry about. If you take your child to a physician regularly they check both weight and height. They usually will plot the results onto a graph and if there are any problems they will usually let the parents know. If you have any concerns then speak up at your child's appointment. These are a few of the things I would be concerned about:
if your child has ANY yellowing or changes in skin color, any changes in bowel movements for an extended period of time, bloating of stomach, if your child is not getting enough sleep, walking on tip toes, poor coordination that leads to frequent accidents, and ANY regression in speech or motor skills.
Emotional Milestones:
This is the most complex of all issues. How do you determine what is "normal" emotional health in a kid? In MY opinion, it all depends on circumstances. If a child is living in a normal environment with no major changes and two loving parents then you would expect normal development. However, major changes such as the death of a loved one or moving frequently from one place to another can cause certain behaviors that you would not ordinarily see in most kids. Everyone deals with stress in their own way. This is especially true with children. As a parent, you need to provide every opportunity for your child to develop emotionally. It is important for your child to have friends. It is also important for your child to know they are loved and to gain self-confidence which will in turn equal self-worth. These are a few things I would worry about:
preferring isolation from friends and/or family, hurting themselves and/or others, not able to express love, not able to make and more importantly KEEP friends, doesn't seem to worry about consequences, lack of empathy, poor or no eye contact, irrational fears, and not being able to cope with any change.
I have a "three strikes" theory. If you have at least three developmental things that you are concerned about with your child then you should definitely see a professional and find out what is going on. This doesn't mean that there IS something wrong, but it's worth the time checking it out. Those of you who are worried about being too paranoid remember this one thing: go with your gut. If your gut tells you that you should see a doctor then do it! Don't wait for a doctor to tell YOU something is wrong. Parents are usually the first people to notice when something is wrong. My last thought I want to share is that all of you need to remember that a child is not the finished product. They WILL grow up and even if something IS wrong, that doesn't mean that they are doomed. There are remedies and solutions to many developmental issues. Things do get better and the sooner they are found, the sooner they can be fixed.
****************************************
When do we need to worry? Never!
When do we need to take action? Always!
****************************************
Social Milestones:
Not all children are going to be social butterflies. Some kids are naturally shy and they don't want to be the center of attention. This could EASILY be misinterpreted as "issues" that a child may not have. For example, if your child is shy and afraid to speak in public then reading out loud in a classroom environment may not work for her. This might lead the teacher to think that the child has a reading problem when in fact it's a shyness problem. My point here is that you know your child. If your gut feeling tells you that he/she is not happy then you definitely need to get testing and confirmation. Otherwise, don't worry about your child and instead help the situation by being the supportive and loving parent you are. These are SOME of the early signs of problems in young children that need to be checked out:
not wanting to be touched or reacting to touch in a very negative manner, being sensitive to sounds or colors, not wanting to eat but a VERY limited diet, playing with toys in a unique fashion such as always lining them up or being fixated on a particular part of a toy versus playing with it in an appropriate manner, acting depressed the majority of the time, and my favorite....numerous temper tantrums.
Physical Milestones:
Not all children are going to grow up the same. My children are nicknamed "Amazon kids" and they are tall for their age. I have a friend whose kids are all very tiny until they reach preteen years and then they grow like weeds. As long as your child is steadily growing and gaining weight then you have nothing to worry about. If you take your child to a physician regularly they check both weight and height. They usually will plot the results onto a graph and if there are any problems they will usually let the parents know. If you have any concerns then speak up at your child's appointment. These are a few of the things I would be concerned about:
if your child has ANY yellowing or changes in skin color, any changes in bowel movements for an extended period of time, bloating of stomach, if your child is not getting enough sleep, walking on tip toes, poor coordination that leads to frequent accidents, and ANY regression in speech or motor skills.
Emotional Milestones:
This is the most complex of all issues. How do you determine what is "normal" emotional health in a kid? In MY opinion, it all depends on circumstances. If a child is living in a normal environment with no major changes and two loving parents then you would expect normal development. However, major changes such as the death of a loved one or moving frequently from one place to another can cause certain behaviors that you would not ordinarily see in most kids. Everyone deals with stress in their own way. This is especially true with children. As a parent, you need to provide every opportunity for your child to develop emotionally. It is important for your child to have friends. It is also important for your child to know they are loved and to gain self-confidence which will in turn equal self-worth. These are a few things I would worry about:
preferring isolation from friends and/or family, hurting themselves and/or others, not able to express love, not able to make and more importantly KEEP friends, doesn't seem to worry about consequences, lack of empathy, poor or no eye contact, irrational fears, and not being able to cope with any change.
I have a "three strikes" theory. If you have at least three developmental things that you are concerned about with your child then you should definitely see a professional and find out what is going on. This doesn't mean that there IS something wrong, but it's worth the time checking it out. Those of you who are worried about being too paranoid remember this one thing: go with your gut. If your gut tells you that you should see a doctor then do it! Don't wait for a doctor to tell YOU something is wrong. Parents are usually the first people to notice when something is wrong. My last thought I want to share is that all of you need to remember that a child is not the finished product. They WILL grow up and even if something IS wrong, that doesn't mean that they are doomed. There are remedies and solutions to many developmental issues. Things do get better and the sooner they are found, the sooner they can be fixed.
****************************************
When do we need to worry? Never!
When do we need to take action? Always!
****************************************
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Age of Autism Webinar
I received this information recently and found it interesting. They do webinars frequenly and I think they are a good resource for parents. They are basically like a seminar online. Some are set up so you can ask questions live and afterwards they have links to discussion boards. It's definitely worth the time to check it out.
Age of Autism Webinar
Age of Autism Join us for a Webinar on June 7
*Space is limited.*
Reserve your Webinar seat now at:
https://www2. gotomeeting. com/register/ 314919714
Dan Olmsted is an investigative reporter and former senior editor for United
Press International (UPI). Olmsted wrote The Age of Autism report series
about the controversy surrounding the possibility of a link between autism
and vaccine injuries.
Dan Olmsted did the research the vaccine industry and media refused to do
and found no autism in the children of the unvaccinated Amish and the
unvaccinated patients of Homefirst.
In a series of articles on autism he wrote, "It's a far piece from the
horse-and-buggies of Lancaster County, Pa., to the cars and freeways of Cook
County, Ill. But thousands of children cared for by Homefirst Health
Services in metropolitan Chicago have at least two things in common with
thousands of Amish children in rural Lancaster: They have never been
vaccinated. And they don't have autism."
He currently edits the Age of Autism website, (AgeofAutism. com) the "Daily
Web Newspaper of the Autism Epidemic". *Title:* Age of Autism
*Date:* Sunday, June 7, 2009 *Time:* 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM CDT After registering
you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining
the Webinar. *System Requirements*
PC-based attendees
Required: Windows® 2000, XP Home, XP Pro, 2003 Server, Vista Macintosh®-based
attendees
Required: Mac OS® X 10.4 (Tiger®) or newer
***************************
If you have trouble finding
it or the link doesn't work
for you just let me know.
***************************
Age of Autism Webinar
Age of Autism Join us for a Webinar on June 7
*Space is limited.*
Reserve your Webinar seat now at:
https://www2. gotomeeting. com/register/ 314919714
Dan Olmsted is an investigative reporter and former senior editor for United
Press International (UPI). Olmsted wrote The Age of Autism report series
about the controversy surrounding the possibility of a link between autism
and vaccine injuries.
Dan Olmsted did the research the vaccine industry and media refused to do
and found no autism in the children of the unvaccinated Amish and the
unvaccinated patients of Homefirst.
In a series of articles on autism he wrote, "It's a far piece from the
horse-and-buggies of Lancaster County, Pa., to the cars and freeways of Cook
County, Ill. But thousands of children cared for by Homefirst Health
Services in metropolitan Chicago have at least two things in common with
thousands of Amish children in rural Lancaster: They have never been
vaccinated. And they don't have autism."
He currently edits the Age of Autism website, (AgeofAutism. com) the "Daily
Web Newspaper of the Autism Epidemic". *Title:* Age of Autism
*Date:* Sunday, June 7, 2009 *Time:* 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM CDT After registering
you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining
the Webinar. *System Requirements*
PC-based attendees
Required: Windows® 2000, XP Home, XP Pro, 2003 Server, Vista Macintosh®-based
attendees
Required: Mac OS® X 10.4 (Tiger®) or newer
***************************
If you have trouble finding
it or the link doesn't work
for you just let me know.
***************************
Friday, May 22, 2009
Summer Vacation Ideas
One of the challenges for ANY parent is WHAT TO DO DURING SUMMER BREAK???? This is especially true when you have children who need structure and a "routine". Things can go from bad to worse rather quickly if you don't have a game plan. I thought it would be fun to post some ideas of things you can do over the summer. I am going to start with the cheaper ideas and move on to the more expensive ideas. I got a lot of ideas from magazines I have read at the waiting rooms at doctor's offices, friends, and on television. I am hoping we can do a lot more this year since my kids are older and everyone is doing so well. I can't believe we only have a few days left of school. I know this summer is going to fly by.
The ultimate "cheap" vacation is to take the family to a nearby Recreational Park or State Park and go on a hike. We did that about a month ago and it was so much fun. Afterwards, we ate lunch that we packed ahead of time and the kids thought that was so much fun. The place we visited was an old fort that has people who stay there and dress up like colonial folk. They answer questions and show everyone what it was like to live during those times. They had a garden and the kids loved the rosemary so much that we have planted some at our home and we use it all the time. The best part of it all was that it was FREE!! We did this in lieu of camping since we don't own a tent that is big enough for all six of us. However, we plan on purchasing a tent soon and so we can extend our stay at the park overnight. THAT would be a blast!!
Another "cheaper" idea is to join your local YMCA. You can live at the pool during the summer. Also, they have lots of programs that the kids can enjoy. Our neighborhood has a pool and so we like to go there during the summer months as well. We have close friends who live here too and so we join them and have lunch together by the pool. That is a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends after the school year is over.
Again... we're staying on the cheap side for now.... Many churches have Vacation Bible School. They are not only free, but they are a wonderful program for the kids to be involved in. Our church does a three-day "B.O.O.T (Building Our Own Testimony) Camp" and they can invite friends. Other churches do week-long VBS and usually involve crafts, food, and singing. Do your research and find out which one is best for your child. Also, always check and make sure they take kids with special needs. You would be surprised how many do not.
Everyone knows about summer camps. However, did you know that there are actually camps designed for kids with Autism! My son doesn't have severe autism and so I have never had the need for it. It is a great idea though for parents who want something for their child. Our city also offers sports with children with Autism and other handicaps. They call it the "Miracle League" and I have heard wonderful things about it. That is definitely something to look into. I know there are fees involved, but they are minimal and often are run by volunteers.
I am about to step it up a notch.... How would you like to keep in touch with distant nieces and nephews without having to buy a bunch of plane tickets? My husband came up with a neat idea he coined a "cousin swap". We have four children, but we have about thirty nieces and nephews who live in the State of Washington (we live in Alabama). We thought it was sad that the cousins were not able to see one another often since it costs so much to fly these days. So... we came up with a way to do it. What we are going to do is send some kids over to Washington to stay with the family for a week and then they will send some kids over here after our kids get back. That way the cousins can spend a couple weeks visiting with one another in each other's homes. We discussed things and determined that they need to be at least eight and we figured that a week was enough time. This will make it affordable and the kids will have a blast!
If you live in an area where there are farms, you need to check them out during the summer. There are a few "You Pick" farms where you can pick your own berries and fruit. There are also dairy farms where they offer tours and even have complimentary ice cream for you before you leave. I googled and found dozens of places near our home. I love things like this because they are also good learning experiences for children.
One of our favorite places to go is Chuck E Cheese! It doesn't cost anything to enter. You can eat beforehand and then all you would need is money for games (if your children are older)... however, my kids would enjoy just jumping on the rides, playing in the indoor tubes, watching others play, and watching the shows when they were toddlers. We get coupons in the mail all the time. Just the other day we got a coupon in the mail for pizza, 4 drinks, and 30 tokens for only $19.98! It helps to call ahead and make sure there aren't any birthday parties that day. That is a trick we learned over the years. (FYI: at OUR Chuck E Cheese we have celebrated birthdays without reserving a table and paying a bunch of money. You can bring an outside cake and if you tell them that you are celebrating a birthday they will give the birthday child a complementary balloon and crown to wear)
On a less cheaper note... we have gone to places like the McWayne Center (a children's museum) and the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama. They were really nice and a lot of fun. We stayed at nearby hotels and enjoyed getting away for the weekend. By the way, going to hotels.com or expedia.com is a good idea. You can get very good rates and find some good options. We have four children and so we usually have to stay in a suite or similar set-up. We have been able to find rooms for around $100/night that have been REALLY nice and had ample space for our large family. Sometimes the resort or hotel can be an experience in itself.
Our best FAMILY vacation so far has been our five-day stay in Orlando, Florida last year. We went to three theme parks and stayed in a beautiful resort. Our room was like a HOUSE!! It had three separate rooms, separate dining room, separate living room, kitchen, washer and dryer, two bathrooms, master bedroom with jacuzzi tub, and walk-in closet, AND it was only 2 miles from the entrance to Disney!! The best part was that it only cost us about $100/night!!
The best thing to do is figure out what your kids like. If they are into nature and things like that then you know that nature walks, going fishing, or camping are things they would enjoy. Whatever you do.... don't let your kids vegetate on the couch all summer watching t.v. or sit around all day in front of a computer. Summer is a time you can take advantage of and do all the things you couldn't do during the school year. If you have smaller kids then just take advantage of the warmer weather. Teach your child how to swim, for example. If you have to work then take advantage of the weekends. Make every moment count. It's not about quantity of time, but the quality that counts!
******************************
Feel free to share any ideas
YOUR family has enjoyed doing
during the summer.
******************************
The ultimate "cheap" vacation is to take the family to a nearby Recreational Park or State Park and go on a hike. We did that about a month ago and it was so much fun. Afterwards, we ate lunch that we packed ahead of time and the kids thought that was so much fun. The place we visited was an old fort that has people who stay there and dress up like colonial folk. They answer questions and show everyone what it was like to live during those times. They had a garden and the kids loved the rosemary so much that we have planted some at our home and we use it all the time. The best part of it all was that it was FREE!! We did this in lieu of camping since we don't own a tent that is big enough for all six of us. However, we plan on purchasing a tent soon and so we can extend our stay at the park overnight. THAT would be a blast!!
Another "cheaper" idea is to join your local YMCA. You can live at the pool during the summer. Also, they have lots of programs that the kids can enjoy. Our neighborhood has a pool and so we like to go there during the summer months as well. We have close friends who live here too and so we join them and have lunch together by the pool. That is a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends after the school year is over.
Again... we're staying on the cheap side for now.... Many churches have Vacation Bible School. They are not only free, but they are a wonderful program for the kids to be involved in. Our church does a three-day "B.O.O.T (Building Our Own Testimony) Camp" and they can invite friends. Other churches do week-long VBS and usually involve crafts, food, and singing. Do your research and find out which one is best for your child. Also, always check and make sure they take kids with special needs. You would be surprised how many do not.
Everyone knows about summer camps. However, did you know that there are actually camps designed for kids with Autism! My son doesn't have severe autism and so I have never had the need for it. It is a great idea though for parents who want something for their child. Our city also offers sports with children with Autism and other handicaps. They call it the "Miracle League" and I have heard wonderful things about it. That is definitely something to look into. I know there are fees involved, but they are minimal and often are run by volunteers.
I am about to step it up a notch.... How would you like to keep in touch with distant nieces and nephews without having to buy a bunch of plane tickets? My husband came up with a neat idea he coined a "cousin swap". We have four children, but we have about thirty nieces and nephews who live in the State of Washington (we live in Alabama). We thought it was sad that the cousins were not able to see one another often since it costs so much to fly these days. So... we came up with a way to do it. What we are going to do is send some kids over to Washington to stay with the family for a week and then they will send some kids over here after our kids get back. That way the cousins can spend a couple weeks visiting with one another in each other's homes. We discussed things and determined that they need to be at least eight and we figured that a week was enough time. This will make it affordable and the kids will have a blast!
If you live in an area where there are farms, you need to check them out during the summer. There are a few "You Pick" farms where you can pick your own berries and fruit. There are also dairy farms where they offer tours and even have complimentary ice cream for you before you leave. I googled and found dozens of places near our home. I love things like this because they are also good learning experiences for children.
One of our favorite places to go is Chuck E Cheese! It doesn't cost anything to enter. You can eat beforehand and then all you would need is money for games (if your children are older)... however, my kids would enjoy just jumping on the rides, playing in the indoor tubes, watching others play, and watching the shows when they were toddlers. We get coupons in the mail all the time. Just the other day we got a coupon in the mail for pizza, 4 drinks, and 30 tokens for only $19.98! It helps to call ahead and make sure there aren't any birthday parties that day. That is a trick we learned over the years. (FYI: at OUR Chuck E Cheese we have celebrated birthdays without reserving a table and paying a bunch of money. You can bring an outside cake and if you tell them that you are celebrating a birthday they will give the birthday child a complementary balloon and crown to wear)
On a less cheaper note... we have gone to places like the McWayne Center (a children's museum) and the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama. They were really nice and a lot of fun. We stayed at nearby hotels and enjoyed getting away for the weekend. By the way, going to hotels.com or expedia.com is a good idea. You can get very good rates and find some good options. We have four children and so we usually have to stay in a suite or similar set-up. We have been able to find rooms for around $100/night that have been REALLY nice and had ample space for our large family. Sometimes the resort or hotel can be an experience in itself.
Our best FAMILY vacation so far has been our five-day stay in Orlando, Florida last year. We went to three theme parks and stayed in a beautiful resort. Our room was like a HOUSE!! It had three separate rooms, separate dining room, separate living room, kitchen, washer and dryer, two bathrooms, master bedroom with jacuzzi tub, and walk-in closet, AND it was only 2 miles from the entrance to Disney!! The best part was that it only cost us about $100/night!!
The best thing to do is figure out what your kids like. If they are into nature and things like that then you know that nature walks, going fishing, or camping are things they would enjoy. Whatever you do.... don't let your kids vegetate on the couch all summer watching t.v. or sit around all day in front of a computer. Summer is a time you can take advantage of and do all the things you couldn't do during the school year. If you have smaller kids then just take advantage of the warmer weather. Teach your child how to swim, for example. If you have to work then take advantage of the weekends. Make every moment count. It's not about quantity of time, but the quality that counts!
******************************
Feel free to share any ideas
YOUR family has enjoyed doing
during the summer.
******************************
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Confessions of an Autism Community
I got this idea from a show I watched on television. There is a woman who wrote a book about confessions from mothers and what they REALLY think and feel. I thought it was very enlightening and therapeutic. I thought I would do the same thing except post some things I have heard others say or things I have felt myself (keeping it all anonymous of course) so that everyone can look at it and see that you're not alone and that it's okay to vent sometimes. :)
..............................
"Sometimes I wish I could go to jail for a day to get a break."
..............................
"I love my children to death.... but sometimes I wish I would have waited longer to have kids."
..............................
"My child is so overweight that I feel ashamed and guilty."
..............................
"I know people judge me by my children's actions and that makes me so mad."
..............................
"Sometimes I go into the bathroom and cry."
..............................
"Most days I feel overwhelmed and unappreciated."
..............................
"I have to admit that there are times when I wonder what it would be like to have normal children."
..............................
"Why can't everyone see that I am just trying my best to raise my children in a world that can't understand autism!"
..............................
"I wish that my best friends could wear my shoes just for a day."
..............................
"I love looking at the world through the eyes of my child."
..............................
"I have sent my child to school drugged with Tylenol and/or decongestant before."
..............................
"I have to admit that I cringe when others tell me that their 'normal' children do the same thing."
..............................
"Maybe I'm a bit too touchy, but when my son says hello and it is not reciprocated I get very upset."
..............................
"One of my worst fears is that I will die and leave behind my autistic child with someone who just wouldn't understand him like I do."
..............................
Those are just a few of the things I could recall. Feel free to "vent" if you want. I think it's important for all moms to realize that we are all trying the best that we can to raise our children in this crazy world of ours. No one feels perfect. We all have our struggles we deal with on a daily basis. Parents of children with special needs have some of the same feelings and struggles. However, it's amplified by our own internal voices and insecurities. My prayer is that those things will be reconciled and that we can focus on what's REALLY important.
******************************************
I know you and you know me
We are as different as the sun and the sea
I know you and you know me
And that's the way it is supposed to be.
(Primary Song: "We Are Different")
******************************************
..............................
"Sometimes I wish I could go to jail for a day to get a break."
..............................
"I love my children to death.... but sometimes I wish I would have waited longer to have kids."
..............................
"My child is so overweight that I feel ashamed and guilty."
..............................
"I know people judge me by my children's actions and that makes me so mad."
..............................
"Sometimes I go into the bathroom and cry."
..............................
"Most days I feel overwhelmed and unappreciated."
..............................
"I have to admit that there are times when I wonder what it would be like to have normal children."
..............................
"Why can't everyone see that I am just trying my best to raise my children in a world that can't understand autism!"
..............................
"I wish that my best friends could wear my shoes just for a day."
..............................
"I love looking at the world through the eyes of my child."
..............................
"I have sent my child to school drugged with Tylenol and/or decongestant before."
..............................
"I have to admit that I cringe when others tell me that their 'normal' children do the same thing."
..............................
"Maybe I'm a bit too touchy, but when my son says hello and it is not reciprocated I get very upset."
..............................
"One of my worst fears is that I will die and leave behind my autistic child with someone who just wouldn't understand him like I do."
..............................
Those are just a few of the things I could recall. Feel free to "vent" if you want. I think it's important for all moms to realize that we are all trying the best that we can to raise our children in this crazy world of ours. No one feels perfect. We all have our struggles we deal with on a daily basis. Parents of children with special needs have some of the same feelings and struggles. However, it's amplified by our own internal voices and insecurities. My prayer is that those things will be reconciled and that we can focus on what's REALLY important.
******************************************
I know you and you know me
We are as different as the sun and the sea
I know you and you know me
And that's the way it is supposed to be.
(Primary Song: "We Are Different")
******************************************
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Autism Society of America Walk
Today I went to an Autism Walk in my city with a friend who also has a child in the "autism spectrum". I have to admit that I was rather disappointed in the numbers that came. I was expecting crowds of people, and I think there might have been less than 100 people there. The cost was $30 and we got a cute shirt with the Frog mascot on it. I was glad to see families there and there were a few people from our school. I wish there would have been more. How can we expect support if WE don't support one another. That's the main motivation for this post.
Tomorrow they are meeting with legislators to discuss the need for more funding for Autism research. It's important that we all do what we can to let our representatives know that we can no longer be ignored! The numbers are rising each day and some still say there is not an epidemic. They want to dismiss it as "an increase in awareness and testing".... that is so wrong! Let's say for a moment that the numbers are increasing because of better screening methods. If that's the case, then show me all the adults with autism! Well... no matter what they say, the numbers are still increasing and so we STILL need to do something about it. Right???? It's insane to say that we aren't doing anything because there is no proof that the numbers are actually increasing. For the record: the number of autism cases are on the rise and no matter what the cause is, it definitely has MY attention.
http://www.autism-society.org
April is Autism Awareness Month and I wanted to make sure to post the link to useful information. The link above has wonderful ideas and suggestions of things you can do to support the cause. I hope you take the time to check it out.
The formal symbol for Autism Society is the puzzle piece. You can purchase shirts, bracelets, and other products online. The money they make goes towards increasing public awareness, research, and cost of advertising. The important thing to remember is that even if you don't have a child with autism, chances are that you will know someone or that your child will know someone who does. The statistics are 1:150 and some say it's actually more prevalent than that.
The first step towards finding an answer and/or a cure for Autism is awareness. It's a real condition that affects so many people. It's not something that goes away, although the symptoms seem to improve in some cases. I believe that some parents feel like giving up. I don't want that to happen!!! We can't just give up now. We need to fight harder than ever. We have to do it for our children, our grandchildren, and our posterity.
***************************
Now is the time to fight!!!
***************************
Tomorrow they are meeting with legislators to discuss the need for more funding for Autism research. It's important that we all do what we can to let our representatives know that we can no longer be ignored! The numbers are rising each day and some still say there is not an epidemic. They want to dismiss it as "an increase in awareness and testing".... that is so wrong! Let's say for a moment that the numbers are increasing because of better screening methods. If that's the case, then show me all the adults with autism! Well... no matter what they say, the numbers are still increasing and so we STILL need to do something about it. Right???? It's insane to say that we aren't doing anything because there is no proof that the numbers are actually increasing. For the record: the number of autism cases are on the rise and no matter what the cause is, it definitely has MY attention.
http://www.autism-society.org
April is Autism Awareness Month and I wanted to make sure to post the link to useful information. The link above has wonderful ideas and suggestions of things you can do to support the cause. I hope you take the time to check it out.
The formal symbol for Autism Society is the puzzle piece. You can purchase shirts, bracelets, and other products online. The money they make goes towards increasing public awareness, research, and cost of advertising. The important thing to remember is that even if you don't have a child with autism, chances are that you will know someone or that your child will know someone who does. The statistics are 1:150 and some say it's actually more prevalent than that.
The first step towards finding an answer and/or a cure for Autism is awareness. It's a real condition that affects so many people. It's not something that goes away, although the symptoms seem to improve in some cases. I believe that some parents feel like giving up. I don't want that to happen!!! We can't just give up now. We need to fight harder than ever. We have to do it for our children, our grandchildren, and our posterity.
***************************
Now is the time to fight!!!
***************************
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Lessons Learned From a Roller Skating Day
My older sons have what's called "Fun Friday" at school. If they have a good week and earn enough points they get to participate in an activity ranging from going to the movies to being able to play with their Nintendo DS. This week they went to a local skating rink for their reward. It was so much fun!
The last time we went skating with the kids they could barely stay up on their feet. However, I was so proud of them because they would keep getting up and try again. It was especially frustrating for my #2 because his balance was not very good and he wanted to go fast. My oldest did much better and tried to help as much as he could. However, he also had some difficulty staying on his feet so it was kind of comical seeing them out in the rink together. Well....THIS time, it was so different. I was so proud of my boys. My oldest did great and even participated in some of the games they did. My #2 put on his skates and immediately stepped into the rink and skated so fast I thought he was going to not be able to stop. My heart kind of skipped a beat and I ALMOST stepped out into the rink to catch him. Now I am so glad that I didn't. He was so proud of himself and made sure I was watching him. I truly enjoyed watching him. He looked like he was born with skates on his feet. It was amazing!!
I was thinking that there were some major life lessons to be learned from this experience. The first thing is that we should NEVER give up. We can't succeed unless we first fail and that's a hard lesson to learn. It would have been easy for my kids to just give up after all the falls and bruises they had experienced. There were probably around 60 kids there and I did not see a single child sitting or without skates. Some preferred to skate on the carpet while others circled the rink. I thought it was amazing seeing some of those kids who could barely talk skating like "pros" and I was so proud of them.
The second lesson to be learned is that sometimes we need to LET them fall. That is so hard as a parent. I once heard a talk at church and they related the story of how the mommy eagle takes care of her young. It was pretty amazing. The eaglets have to learn to fly and it's not instinctive. Sometimes when a young eaglet is fearful of taking its first flight away from the nest, a parent will withhold food to force it out. That's the way we need to be as parents. I am sure many of you have seen the movie Finding Nemo and that's the lesson that many parents learn the hard way. We will only push our children away or prevent them from reaching their potential if hover over them or make it too easy.
There is another story that I heard at church and it was of a man who asked the Lord to tell him what he should do to be strong and do His will. The Lord replied, "You see that huge boulder over there? I want you to push it." The man kind of hesitated and then decided to do as he was told. He went over and pushed with all his might and the boulder did not budge. He did this for a period of weeks. Finally, he got frustrated and asked, "Lord, I have pushed and pushed this boulder and it has not budged one inch. Why have you asked me to do this thing?" The Lord replied, "When you started you were weak. Now look at you. Your muscles are toned and you are stronger because of the work you have done. The fact that you were obedient in spite of your hesitation in the beginning has also blessed you with faith. Go now, you are now prepared." When I first heard this story I didn't have any children and so I did not comprehend the impact it would have later in my life. Now I totally get it! We only get stronger if we have challenges or obstacles in our lives. If everything was handed to us on a "silver platter", or if we never had to make choices then there would be no way we could grow
The last thing I want to say about our skating experience is that we should not underestimate our children's potential. My children amaze me all the time. They can comprehend things that even some adults don't get. They have taught me more than I can even begin to explain. My #2 has such a sweet spirit. He can be so loving and so empathetic at times. He is extremely tenderhearted and that can be very challenging when others are not so nice to him. Don't ever let a "label" limit your child's potential. There are so many examples of very successful people in history who were told they could not do it. There is a great site: http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com
and I urge you to visit it and share it with your autistic child. It has a list of famous people with autism and Asperger Syndrome. Famoust people with Autism: Daryl Hannah, an American actress best known for her roles in Splash, Blade Runner and Kill Bill was diagnosed as a child as being "borderline autistic", Christopher Knowles, an American poet, and Matthew Laborteaux, actor on Little House on the Prairie. Famous people with Asperger: Satoshi Tajiri, creator of Pokémon, Dan Aykroyd, comedian and actor, Richard Borcherds, mathematician specializing in group theory and Lie algebras, Dawn Prince-Hughes, PhD, primate anthropologist, ethologist, and author of Songs for the Gorilla Nation, and Gary Numan, British singer and songwriter.
***********************************
Don't ever tell a child they can't.
***********************************
The last time we went skating with the kids they could barely stay up on their feet. However, I was so proud of them because they would keep getting up and try again. It was especially frustrating for my #2 because his balance was not very good and he wanted to go fast. My oldest did much better and tried to help as much as he could. However, he also had some difficulty staying on his feet so it was kind of comical seeing them out in the rink together. Well....THIS time, it was so different. I was so proud of my boys. My oldest did great and even participated in some of the games they did. My #2 put on his skates and immediately stepped into the rink and skated so fast I thought he was going to not be able to stop. My heart kind of skipped a beat and I ALMOST stepped out into the rink to catch him. Now I am so glad that I didn't. He was so proud of himself and made sure I was watching him. I truly enjoyed watching him. He looked like he was born with skates on his feet. It was amazing!!
I was thinking that there were some major life lessons to be learned from this experience. The first thing is that we should NEVER give up. We can't succeed unless we first fail and that's a hard lesson to learn. It would have been easy for my kids to just give up after all the falls and bruises they had experienced. There were probably around 60 kids there and I did not see a single child sitting or without skates. Some preferred to skate on the carpet while others circled the rink. I thought it was amazing seeing some of those kids who could barely talk skating like "pros" and I was so proud of them.
The second lesson to be learned is that sometimes we need to LET them fall. That is so hard as a parent. I once heard a talk at church and they related the story of how the mommy eagle takes care of her young. It was pretty amazing. The eaglets have to learn to fly and it's not instinctive. Sometimes when a young eaglet is fearful of taking its first flight away from the nest, a parent will withhold food to force it out. That's the way we need to be as parents. I am sure many of you have seen the movie Finding Nemo and that's the lesson that many parents learn the hard way. We will only push our children away or prevent them from reaching their potential if hover over them or make it too easy.
There is another story that I heard at church and it was of a man who asked the Lord to tell him what he should do to be strong and do His will. The Lord replied, "You see that huge boulder over there? I want you to push it." The man kind of hesitated and then decided to do as he was told. He went over and pushed with all his might and the boulder did not budge. He did this for a period of weeks. Finally, he got frustrated and asked, "Lord, I have pushed and pushed this boulder and it has not budged one inch. Why have you asked me to do this thing?" The Lord replied, "When you started you were weak. Now look at you. Your muscles are toned and you are stronger because of the work you have done. The fact that you were obedient in spite of your hesitation in the beginning has also blessed you with faith. Go now, you are now prepared." When I first heard this story I didn't have any children and so I did not comprehend the impact it would have later in my life. Now I totally get it! We only get stronger if we have challenges or obstacles in our lives. If everything was handed to us on a "silver platter", or if we never had to make choices then there would be no way we could grow
The last thing I want to say about our skating experience is that we should not underestimate our children's potential. My children amaze me all the time. They can comprehend things that even some adults don't get. They have taught me more than I can even begin to explain. My #2 has such a sweet spirit. He can be so loving and so empathetic at times. He is extremely tenderhearted and that can be very challenging when others are not so nice to him. Don't ever let a "label" limit your child's potential. There are so many examples of very successful people in history who were told they could not do it. There is a great site: http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com
and I urge you to visit it and share it with your autistic child. It has a list of famous people with autism and Asperger Syndrome. Famoust people with Autism: Daryl Hannah, an American actress best known for her roles in Splash, Blade Runner and Kill Bill was diagnosed as a child as being "borderline autistic", Christopher Knowles, an American poet, and Matthew Laborteaux, actor on Little House on the Prairie. Famous people with Asperger: Satoshi Tajiri, creator of Pokémon, Dan Aykroyd, comedian and actor, Richard Borcherds, mathematician specializing in group theory and Lie algebras, Dawn Prince-Hughes, PhD, primate anthropologist, ethologist, and author of Songs for the Gorilla Nation, and Gary Numan, British singer and songwriter.
***********************************
Don't ever tell a child they can't.
***********************************
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)