I feel the need to post this at this time since school is back in session. There are so many things that parents worry about. Some of those things are legitimate concerns, while others stem from unrealistic expectations that society and sometimes teachers put on them. Let me preface the following by saying that these "milestones" are intended for children who are past the age of toddlerhood. I have made numerous posts in the past about what to look out for in babies and toddlers. However, toddlers are too young to categorize. It has been my experience that with toddlers there is such a wide range of development that it would take a book to cover all the milestones. Also, the milestones are so vague that they can span months and some overlap. It's definitely more complex.
Social Milestones:
Not all children are going to be social butterflies. Some kids are naturally shy and they don't want to be the center of attention. This could EASILY be misinterpreted as "issues" that a child may not have. For example, if your child is shy and afraid to speak in public then reading out loud in a classroom environment may not work for her. This might lead the teacher to think that the child has a reading problem when in fact it's a shyness problem. My point here is that you know your child. If your gut feeling tells you that he/she is not happy then you definitely need to get testing and confirmation. Otherwise, don't worry about your child and instead help the situation by being the supportive and loving parent you are. These are SOME of the early signs of problems in young children that need to be checked out:
not wanting to be touched or reacting to touch in a very negative manner, being sensitive to sounds or colors, not wanting to eat but a VERY limited diet, playing with toys in a unique fashion such as always lining them up or being fixated on a particular part of a toy versus playing with it in an appropriate manner, acting depressed the majority of the time, and my favorite....numerous temper tantrums.
Physical Milestones:
Not all children are going to grow up the same. My children are nicknamed "Amazon kids" and they are tall for their age. I have a friend whose kids are all very tiny until they reach preteen years and then they grow like weeds. As long as your child is steadily growing and gaining weight then you have nothing to worry about. If you take your child to a physician regularly they check both weight and height. They usually will plot the results onto a graph and if there are any problems they will usually let the parents know. If you have any concerns then speak up at your child's appointment. These are a few of the things I would be concerned about:
if your child has ANY yellowing or changes in skin color, any changes in bowel movements for an extended period of time, bloating of stomach, if your child is not getting enough sleep, walking on tip toes, poor coordination that leads to frequent accidents, and ANY regression in speech or motor skills.
Emotional Milestones:
This is the most complex of all issues. How do you determine what is "normal" emotional health in a kid? In MY opinion, it all depends on circumstances. If a child is living in a normal environment with no major changes and two loving parents then you would expect normal development. However, major changes such as the death of a loved one or moving frequently from one place to another can cause certain behaviors that you would not ordinarily see in most kids. Everyone deals with stress in their own way. This is especially true with children. As a parent, you need to provide every opportunity for your child to develop emotionally. It is important for your child to have friends. It is also important for your child to know they are loved and to gain self-confidence which will in turn equal self-worth. These are a few things I would worry about:
preferring isolation from friends and/or family, hurting themselves and/or others, not able to express love, not able to make and more importantly KEEP friends, doesn't seem to worry about consequences, lack of empathy, poor or no eye contact, irrational fears, and not being able to cope with any change.
I have a "three strikes" theory. If you have at least three developmental things that you are concerned about with your child then you should definitely see a professional and find out what is going on. This doesn't mean that there IS something wrong, but it's worth the time checking it out. Those of you who are worried about being too paranoid remember this one thing: go with your gut. If your gut tells you that you should see a doctor then do it! Don't wait for a doctor to tell YOU something is wrong. Parents are usually the first people to notice when something is wrong. My last thought I want to share is that all of you need to remember that a child is not the finished product. They WILL grow up and even if something IS wrong, that doesn't mean that they are doomed. There are remedies and solutions to many developmental issues. Things do get better and the sooner they are found, the sooner they can be fixed.
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When do we need to worry? Never!
When do we need to take action? Always!
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