The Truth About Friendship

This post was inspired by my Relief Society lesson we had last Sunday. It was taught by one of my friends and I learned so much from it. I wanted to share some of my thoughts on friendship and how important it is to me.

The truth about friends is that you have no control over who you "click" with and who you don't. I know we can be more outgoing and try to put ourselves in situations where we can make friends, but in the end it's something far deeper and spiritual that guides our paths and joins us with those we ultimately call our friends. There is usually common ground and common values that help us become closer. I feel that the autism community is one of those that is so much like my LDS community. Everyone I have met is a wonderful mother, friend, and is struggling to find answers and do what is right. It's amazing how much in common I have with people who have children with autism or any other special needs. It immediately links us together and we can talk for hours... and often do. It's true what they say: you don't know what it's like until you walk in someone else's shoes. I used to be very judgmental and criticized parents who had children who were unruly or disrespectful. I still don't like it, but now I have a better understanding of what is REALLY going on in the mind of the child. Most of the time it's not his/her fault.

A true friend will stick with you no matter what. I've had friends that I love dearly and felt very close to, drift away since my son's diagnosis. I know that part of it is that they just don't understand. However, I have made some awesome new friends in the past couple years and I wouldn't trade them for the world!!! We understand one another and don't feel we need to apologize all the time for our children. It's understood that our kids will behave inappropriately at times and we just deal with it in our own way. I love the fact that I can have friends who can give me counsel without being condescending or judgmental. I KNOW that they have walked where I have walked and so that means so much to me.

It's not easy being a good friend sometimes. I used to get my feelings hurt very easily, but have grown a rather thick skin in the past few years. It still hurts when I hear negative comments or when I see those looks of disapproval, but I don't let it get to me in the same way. I believe that there is good in everyone. No one wakes up each day and thinks to themselves, "who am I going to hurt today?" I know I am not perfect, and I am sure that I have hurt someone's feelings without even realizing it. I consider myself to be a considerate person, but I am only human. That is the biggest lesson I have learned about others. I am taught to love everyone at church and I honestly say that I do. However, I have learned to surround myself with uplifting and positive people. I have many friends, but only a handful of very close friends. I can only hope and pray that I am as a good a friend to them as they are to me.
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I hope you all have good friends who support
and uplift your soul. A good friend is like
a good bra: lifts you when you're down and
is always close to your heart.
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