Time for Another H1N1 shot! HUH????

My children came home from school with yet another pamphlet about H1N1. What gives? Given the fact that the flu season is basically over AND that the H1N1 is basically a milder form of the "seasonal flu"....why the push for the vaccine? Hmmmm??

I wanted to comment on the pamphlet that came home. I thought it was very interesting. It was a "Myth versus Fact" informational pamphlet. Here are excerpts of what they say:
#1) "Myth: The 2009 H1N1 flu vaccine has not been adequately tested so it is not safe or effective. Fact: ...Top doctors and scientists believe the risk of the flu, especially for pregnant women, children, and people with underlying health conditions, is higher than any risk that might come from the 2009 H1N1 vaccine."
**Oh, really??? Is that supposed to make me feel better?

#2) "Myth: The 2009 H1N1 nasal spray flu vaccine is not as effective as the shot (injectable) vaccine. Fact: Based on available data, both vaccines are expected to be effective against 2009 H1N1 flu."
** WHAT available data are they talking about????? They are getting the "data" as we speak! It hasn't been out long enough to gather enough data (in my humble opinion, that is).

#3) "Myth: If I receive the nasal spray 2009 H1N1 flu vaccine, I can pass the virus on to other people and infect them. Fact: Because the virus is weakened, it is very unlikely to infect others or cause them to have flu symptoms."
** It is "very unlikely" that you can pass it on to others? That basically says (to me) that it COULD happen and they can't say for sure it can't.

In a normal, healthy adult or child there is no reason why the H1N1 vaccine should be shoved down our throats! The way I see it, they are just trying to get rid of the vaccines they made and/or make some profit in the process. After reading the information, it validated my thought process about the whole thing. They basically "jumped the gun" on the manufacturing of the vaccine and even though it did not reach pandemic proportions, they are trying to still scare the public into thinking that it's a "dangerous" flu still lurking around us. It is milder than the seasonal flu and I think that if anything...they should be making sure that the elderly and such get the seasonal flu shot because MORE people have died from that than the H1N1 flu. Of course, THIS gal will not be getting any "mercury injections" anytime soon.
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It's not hard to get all the
facts and make an informed
decision.
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ABA Therapy Available in Montgomery, Alabama

I just wanted to post this short message to let everyone know that there is an ABA Therapist in Montgomery. Her formal title is: Behavior Analyst. She came and spoke to us during our PA meeting at Churchill and really impressed everyone there. More than anything, I loved her spirit. She had a very positive attitude when she answered parents' questions and had some REAL advice and practical suggestions. Unfortunately, our area is in need of more. She can't do it all by herself and she struggles with trying to meet the needs of our area. She explained that many people leave our area once they are done with their schooling.

If you are a student or are in the process of deciding what route to take in the Special Education realm.... please consider this option. We need more people in this profession. Evidently, it's a good career and our area is in need.

An Amazing Mind Willing to Share

A recent night at scouts reminded me about how brilliant the minds of children in the autism spectrum are. It also prompted me to share the following experience with you because I thought it would definitely amuse many of you (especially those who know my children).

My #2 never seizes to amaze me. The other day he was explaining what he knew in the subject of mathematics. He asked me what the highest number I could count to was. I told him that I could count to a trillion. He then proceeded to ask me what the highest number was. I told him I didn't know. He told me that it was "infinity". I vaguely remembered that from college. I told him how proud I was that he knew that. He then asked me if I knew what the lowest number was. Again, I told him I didn't know. He told me it was "negative infinity" and looked at me with such a wide grin... the kind that goes from ear to ear. It was so cute. I was definitely impressed. When he gets in this kind of mood I like to test his knowledge on various subjects so I decided to ask him about aerodynamics. I asked him how a plane stays up in the air. My father is a former helicopter pilot and he explained things to him a couple years ago and even showed him how to fly a flight simulator program on the computer. Needless to say, my #2 remembered a lot! He drew a wing and then explained lift to me and even showed how the wind current goes over a CURVED wing! I was floored. I have always known how smart he is, but I guess I didn't realize how much he retains and how eager he is to share his knowledge with me. I am going to encourage him to explain more things to me in the future. It was so much fun.
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Take time to listen to your
children. You might be amazed
at what you hear.
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Riding the Autism Train... Are You on Board?

A recent conversation with my mom prompted me to write this post. I can't explain it, but I feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders. It's because now I KNOW for a surety that she's on board. I think I can compare the experience like an awakening of sorts. It's rather amazing, actually.

There are certain things that people can't imagine. One thing is motherhood. There is no way to explain it.... you have to experience it. The same goes for autism. It's a whole different world. When you know someone who has autism the world is no longer the same and it also changes you. I know, personally, I have gained more patience and more understanding. I have also grown to LOVE children with disabilities. Although my child's condition is not as severe as Down Syndrome or other children with low functioning autism, I look at those children and I understand them. I think I even appreciate them. It's hard to explain. One reason might be that my religion teaches that children with such disabilities are such special spirits that they cannot sin and therefore don't need to be baptized. They come to earth to experience a mortal body and that is all they need to progress in the next life. I think that is such an awesome teaching of our church.

If you are a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance of someone who has a child with autism then you have a glimpse of what I am talking about. However, you don't really KNOW what it's like to live day to day. You don't see the tantrums, the meltdowns, the overstimulation, or frustration that comes with autism. My child is harder on himself than anyone I know. When I see others belittling him or not taking notice of his progress it really hurts. His behavior in public has improved dramatically, but it's because we work with him on a daily basis. He is in a special school where we sacrifice a very large tuition to make sure he gets the best help. We sacrifice going on family trips or getting expensive clothes, for example, in order to pay the expenses that come with autism. I am here to tell you that it's not just the tuition for the school, but it's also doctor bills that aren't covered by insurance, psychologist testing, speech therapy when he was younger, occupational therapy that we could not afford for very long, AND the medication!

What does it mean to be "on board" with someone who is struggling with a child who has autism? 1) Don't judge. 2) Learn as much about it as you can. 3)Be understanding and empathetic. 4)Remember that autism doesn't define who the child is, but rather explains the behavior. 5)Don't always assume that the child is at fault... sometimes they can't stand up for themselves. 6)Know that the parents and the child are harder on themselves than meets the eye. 7) Don't forget to praise once in a while when appropriate....it gets REALLY old just hearing negative comments.

I can't stress enough the fact that things aren't always what they seem. Case and point: I can remember one day when my #2 was horrible! I think I was near my breaking point. He had done almost everything you could think of. I had spanked him, grounded him. Nothing seemed to work. (This was before we had a diagnosis.) Well... the week gradually got better and we actually ended up having a decent week. So, I decided as positive reinforcement we would go to Stevie B's Pizza and have a family night. Our rule was the kids had to eat before they could go and play in the arcade. As soon as my #2 finished, he was eager to go into the arcade. We went in and there was a grandma with her perfect granddaughter playing. Of course, my #2 was so excited to play, but I had to get change. I went to the machine and the grandma was standing in line to get tokens. My #2 proceeded to stand by the machine as we waited our turn. However, he doesn't know personal space and he evidently got a little too close and it bothered the grandma. I could tell and so I told him to move and to stand by me. I then looked at the grandma and said, "He's just excited...he's only a kid." (I was hoping she would be understanding.) Her response was, "No.... YOU just need to be a parent!!" My jaw just hit the floor. I couldn't believe what she had said. There are many things I could have told her. However, I just ignored her and avoided her the rest of the time we were there. That is one of the best examples I can share with you to show you a glimpse of what people just don't know and how prejudging someone can really hurt. Little did she know that parenting is ALL I do 24/7 and that I have to pick my battles, and if I reprimanded my child for something he has no control over then I would not be doing my job as his mother.
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I am the tank engine that provides
the momentum to pull the heavy loads,
but if the cars don't follow then I
might as well pull with all my might
til kingdom come 'cause they aren't
going to budge.
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The Sibling Effect

So much focus is given to the children with problems that often the siblings are left feeling ignored, unloved, and needing attention. This often leads to the kids "acting out" or sometimes even mimicking the behavior in hopes that THEY too will get attention. Remember that negative attention is attention nonetheless. That is something that psychologists have drilled into my head over the years.

I am just as guilty as anyone else out there. I have ignored my daughter, for example, on numerous occasions since she rarely gives us trouble and she is almost the "perfect" child in every way. She does well in school, has lots of friends, and is a very loving and sweet child. My oldest used to give us so much trouble when he was younger, that NOW we often ignore him as well since he is thirteen and rarely gives us trouble as well.... especially compared to how it was when he was younger. That leaves only two others that demand a lot of my attention at the moment. I try very hard to give it to them, but it's hard sometimes to do it without doing it at the expense of others. I was thinking about that the other day and it prompted me to write this entry. I am going to call it the "Sibling Effect" and it definitely covers a lot more than it sounds.

The Sibling Effect is the way others treat or perceive your children without knowing them, but only knowing one or more siblings. It also refers to the way siblings are treated by parents. This can be positive or negative. For example, your oldest child has a teacher and the experience is negative. The sibling has the same teacher years later, but the negative reputation is already there in spite of the fact that they are two completely different individuals. They look the same and possibly have some of the same mannerisms and that just makes things more complicated. However, another way of looking at it is that the parent will often have certain expectations even though there are two completely different individuals involved. This also works in the opposite manner. If your oldest child is well-behaved and a good kid then people are going to assume that future children will be the same. The parent will often expect good behavior and then doesn't understand why the child is misbehaving or acting so differently. This leads to frustration and often misguided efforts to use the same kind of discipline,etc.. on the child.

It's an unfair thing, but it happens all the time. The problem especially arises when you have a child with special needs. It often isolates the siblings because children are so cruel. It's hard to change a child's reputation especially among other children. I have a dear friend whose child is in the autism spectrum and she can't allow him to go to a friend's house unsupervised. She has a younger daughter who is typical and often asks if she can go play at a friend's house. It's so hard for her since she has to constantly explain why rules differ for the children. Her son often gets angry and frustrated because he can't play with other children, while his younger sister is allowed. However, the worst part is that he is seldom asked to play by other children and so he will often invite himself. He has been shunned and teased by children in his neighborhood on numerous occasions. It's almost too much for the mother to bear.

I can only speak from experience, but after my son's diagnosis I almost held my breath with my next two children. It was almost like I expected the worst but hoped for the best. I said a lot of prayers and tried to remain optimistic. When my daughter had speech delay I almost felt like giving up! I didn't want to go through it all again.... it seemed so unfair. However, I am so glad that I didn't give up. I worked really hard with her and today she is doing great. My youngest has speech delay as well and I thought to myself, "here we go again..." However, THIS time I have the knowledge and experience I have acquired over the years and that gives me an advantage. I have to remind myself that he is an individual and there are NO limits to his potential.

I feel so protective of my children, but especially my second child. He has been diagnosed with PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), Tourette's (also known as "ticks"), and ADHD. One can only imagine the complications in trying to get him enough social interaction. He's an awesome kid and very intelligent. However, he lacks a lot of social skills and other kids his age don't understand him. Actually, many ADULTS don't understand him. I am just so thankful for the school he attends because he has made so many friends and the parents and teachers adore him! One thing that I worry about is the fact that my youngest looks and acts SO much like him. I have seen the "Sibling Effect" on numerous occasions and don't really know what to do about it. I feel like the only thing I CAN do is just educate others. They need to know that he is not like his brother. At the moment his only challenge is he is speech delayed. Of course with that comes other issues, but he is progressing and doing so well. I see a lot of his sister in him. I am quite optimistic about his future. He is speaking better than any of his siblings at the same age. That in itself gives me a lot of hope.

My hope is that someone will read this post and either #1: think twice about prejudging a child based on knowledge of a sibling or #2: know that they aren't alone and that others are aware of the problem AND that something can be done about it. We don't need to sit back and ignore something like this. The way a child is treated will shape the kind of person he/she will become. It doesn't matter if the child is typical or special-needs.... it's all the same.
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The worst thing you can do to a child
is ignore him.... but worse yet is to
prejudge him and form opinions before
even getting to know him.
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