My motivation for this post was the realization that people are just not genuine anymore! Facebook has become a place where people can reinvent themselves and create a dream reality to hide the truth. I often see pictures of friends seemingly living the dream life. Of course, we all know that we only take pictures of happy moments. We rarely even acknowledge moments of sadness, despair, or tragedy. I have friends that live in situations that would make most people want to end their life. Yet, they always seem to be in a state of perpetual bliss on Facebook. I think it's time to get real. No one lives a perfect life. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. FYI: my grass is sometimes brown.
First of all, my children are not perfect. Wow! I actually said that at loud? I must be a horrible mother! My main concern with all my children is not if their hair is picture perfect or if they are wearing matching clothes. Those things are so far down the list of priorities, that it is amusing to me. You want to know what my priorities are? Did they get their meds? Did they finally go to sleep by midnight? Are they going to have a meltdown today at school? Did they get enough to eat at lunch time, or did they just drink their chocolate milk? Yep! When I see mothers stressing about trivial things, I have to laugh. I only wish I had those types of troubles. I wish my child was in the soccer team and I had to stress about finding their shoes for practice. I only dream of having those types of normal mothering issues.
Secondly, I do not desire to run a 5K or a half marathon....EVER!!! You will never see one of those stickers on my car. I love to run, but I don't have any desire to do it in an organized way. I used to be on the track team in high school. I don't need the recognition or the notoriety of having a medal or my picture taken at a race. Nope! Those of you who feel the need....go for it!
Thirdly, I truly do have the world's perfect husband. He is perfect for me! I do not go around bragging about our intimacy or the numerous things he does for me on a daily basis. I feel our relationship is built on trust, love, and faith. However, there are times when I want to strangle him! He is passive aggressive, which means he never yells or gets outwardly angry. That makes me angry. It is the Latina in me. I have to let it out. That reminds me....I have a temper! Yes! I get angry and even yell sometimes! Wow! I don't think I have ever said that. I have a lot of patience, but when I lose it...I lose it!
Fourthly, I have a past...a history. I have been through some things. All of these things affect the way I react to certain situations. They have shaped the woman and mother I am today. I probably need therapy and counseling, but never have been for myself. I have managed all these years...so, why now?
Fifth thing, I am amazed at how some people think! I cannot get past it. I avoid confrontation like the plague. Therefore, you will rarely hear my point of view if it is opposite of yours. The only exception is when it deals with autism, scouting, or my faith. Politics is a subject I avoid. It is not a friendly subject.
Sixth thing, since I am basically laying it out there....I want the world to know that my children's autism is not caused by computers, or by poor parenting, or by any other stupid reason you can think of. My children do have feelings. More importantly, I have feelings! If you treat my children unfairly, I will notice! By the way, children talk (no matter the age). I am a teacher, and my students have opened my eyes to what their parents REALLY think!
Almost to last thing, I get jealous! I get jealous when I see friends who get together and go to the beach or hang out. I have not done that in so long. I cannot remember the last time someone just called me and said, "Hey! Let's meet up!" It pains me to admit that I feel lonely a lot. It is my reality. I get some adult conversation at work, and the children I teach bring me so much joy. However, when I get on Facebook and see my old friends hanging out without me, I feel a sense of betrayal and loss. I feel the loss of times when we used to have Girl's Nite Out and went out to eat,or saw a midnight showing of a movie. Those were the days.
The last thing I want to share is my struggle with food. Food is my nemesis. I have recently discovered a company called Isagenix which has totally transformed my life, but food is still a struggle. I definitely have a food addiction. It is my medicine. It is my friend. It is my therapy when I am alone. Food is always there. Thank goodness my sweet husband loves me no matter what. I am thankful for unconditional love.
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Confession time: what would you like to
get off YOUR chest?
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