Are you a movie star or model? Are you going to be in a reality show? Is a government agency that could potentially take away your children going to visit your home? If you answered "no" to all these questions then I want you to consider the fact that NOBODY CARES if you are not a size 2. NOBODY CARES if your home is not immaculate. NOBODY CARES if your children's room is untidy. The fact is that moms are too hard on themselves. Moms need to prioritize and value their time. Time is so precious. It comes and goes, and there is no way to get it back.
Now that school is starting back, I just wanted to remind everyone to chill and stop being so hard on yourself. You are human...perhaps you have ambitions to be that "Supermom" that everyone raves about. However, at what expense? Keep realistic goals for yourself. Make sure to take time out for yourself. Only then can you be there for everyone else.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
The Summer Challenge
Summer is a time many families look forward to. However, it can bring about so many challenges for families with children who have autism. The biggest challenge is structure...or lack thereof. Children on the spectrum need structure. They get anxious when they have no idea what is happening from day to day or hour to hour. Camps are usually out of the question, unless they are designed for children with special needs. Summer programs can be costly. Finding children for get togethers or play dates can also be difficult. What do you do?
Here is some food for thought followed by a list of ideas that I have personally tried and found successful:
1) Plan way ahead of summer. You do not want to wait until summer to figure out what is offered in your area.
2) Think outside the box...or even your city. It is worth a thirty minute drive or more for your child to receive something you don't have locally.
3) Ask your friends or anyone you know for ideas.
4) Try to find out what your child is interested in and is good at by exposing your child to a variety of things. You might be surprised.
5) Try to be flexible. Do not overfill the calendar.
These are specific ideas broken down by age/maturity level:
Preschool: If you are a parent of a preschool child then consider continuing preschool through their summer program if it is offered. Although summers tend to be less structured, they still have consistency and that is key! Get together with other parents and try to do something weekly such as meeting at the park, pool, or going to fast food indoor playgrounds. Take turns meeting at different homes to provide social opportunities for you and your child. This is a fun age. Remember that they get excited about the smallest things as long as YOU are excited! Tell your child that you are going on a scavenger hunt and print off a list of items that you two can find while on a nature walk or a hike. Take notice of the things you see along the way and talk about them. Another idea is doing a backyard "safari". Get magnifying glasses and see how many creatures and wildlife you can find in your own backyard! Pinterest has some awesome ideas. I saw one where you get a large plastic tub and fill it with toys and then with water. Freeze it. Then take it outside and do an archeological "dig" to get to the toys inside the ice! Kids this age just LOVE sidewalk chalk.
Elementary: Kids are now a little more self aware. It might be harder to keep them occupied. You need to get some teaching resources to maintain their level in reading, math, and writing. Try to give them learning opportunities. Check your local library for Summer Reading programs or other special programs they may offer. Visit some historical sites or museums in your area. Take a tour at a local factory or other company that offers them. Invite friends over for a lunch/ dinner and a movie. Make cupcakes or pizzas with your child. Let your child do the measuring of ingredients by following a recipe. Play their favorite board game or just design your own. Science experiments using household items are a huge hit! Google for more ideas.
Teens: This is a challenging age. Going to the pool saved me during these years. However, on a rainy day you are stuck. If your child is a reader then you are set! Since they are a little more independent this age can also be so much fun. Whatever you do, do NOT call a get-together with a friend a "play date"! Ever! Go to a movie. Take advantage of Summer matinee deals around your area. Go bowling. Plan outdoor adventures such as a trip to the lake, canoeing, camping (when weather is mild). This doesn't sound like fun, but give them chores with rewards. This will save YOU in the long run. Plus, accountability is key to rewards and fun.
Hopefully this gave you some ideas and food for thought. Every child is different and so is every parent. There is no right or wrong. There is only what works for you. If it works, then it is right.
Here is some food for thought followed by a list of ideas that I have personally tried and found successful:
1) Plan way ahead of summer. You do not want to wait until summer to figure out what is offered in your area.
2) Think outside the box...or even your city. It is worth a thirty minute drive or more for your child to receive something you don't have locally.
3) Ask your friends or anyone you know for ideas.
4) Try to find out what your child is interested in and is good at by exposing your child to a variety of things. You might be surprised.
5) Try to be flexible. Do not overfill the calendar.
These are specific ideas broken down by age/maturity level:
Preschool: If you are a parent of a preschool child then consider continuing preschool through their summer program if it is offered. Although summers tend to be less structured, they still have consistency and that is key! Get together with other parents and try to do something weekly such as meeting at the park, pool, or going to fast food indoor playgrounds. Take turns meeting at different homes to provide social opportunities for you and your child. This is a fun age. Remember that they get excited about the smallest things as long as YOU are excited! Tell your child that you are going on a scavenger hunt and print off a list of items that you two can find while on a nature walk or a hike. Take notice of the things you see along the way and talk about them. Another idea is doing a backyard "safari". Get magnifying glasses and see how many creatures and wildlife you can find in your own backyard! Pinterest has some awesome ideas. I saw one where you get a large plastic tub and fill it with toys and then with water. Freeze it. Then take it outside and do an archeological "dig" to get to the toys inside the ice! Kids this age just LOVE sidewalk chalk.
Elementary: Kids are now a little more self aware. It might be harder to keep them occupied. You need to get some teaching resources to maintain their level in reading, math, and writing. Try to give them learning opportunities. Check your local library for Summer Reading programs or other special programs they may offer. Visit some historical sites or museums in your area. Take a tour at a local factory or other company that offers them. Invite friends over for a lunch/ dinner and a movie. Make cupcakes or pizzas with your child. Let your child do the measuring of ingredients by following a recipe. Play their favorite board game or just design your own. Science experiments using household items are a huge hit! Google for more ideas.
Teens: This is a challenging age. Going to the pool saved me during these years. However, on a rainy day you are stuck. If your child is a reader then you are set! Since they are a little more independent this age can also be so much fun. Whatever you do, do NOT call a get-together with a friend a "play date"! Ever! Go to a movie. Take advantage of Summer matinee deals around your area. Go bowling. Plan outdoor adventures such as a trip to the lake, canoeing, camping (when weather is mild). This doesn't sound like fun, but give them chores with rewards. This will save YOU in the long run. Plus, accountability is key to rewards and fun.
Hopefully this gave you some ideas and food for thought. Every child is different and so is every parent. There is no right or wrong. There is only what works for you. If it works, then it is right.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Parenthood
I have recently discovered the series Parenthood. I am definitely hooked! For those of you who have never watched it, I will give you a short synopsis: it is about a single mom who decides to move back with her parents to get her kids, who are teens, out of a bad situation and get a fresh start. The plot unfolds as you are introduced to her three other siblings and their families. One of her brothers has a son with Asperger's....that is where I got hooked! The series does an extremely good job of showing what it is like to find out about the diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions parents go through. The other thing the writers and producers do a great job with is the way the extended family and friends deal with this unique situation. I finished watching Season 1 on Netflix. I am excited to watch more. The characters and episodes are heartwarming and very relatable.
Watching this show has unleashed many emotions and memories. It has given me time to reflect on past events dealing with my own children. Each of them are so unique. It is no wonder I feel so inadequate. It was like starting all over again with each one. What worked for one did not necessarily work for any of the others. If only they came with instruction manuals! Right? That would make things so much easier. The one thing I could rely on was my support network of friends. I relied a lot on them back then. It was mainly knowing that I wasn't alone. There were also times when we just needed to feel "normal". The only way to achieve this was to surround ourselves with people who were going through the same thing.
I am not going to lie. There were times when I cried so much that my eyes would swell up. There were times when I felt despair. There were times when all I could do was curl up in bed and sleep the day away. One thing you learn as a parent of special needs is to take it one day at a time. I learned to celebrate the little things. I still do.
It is sad to know that Parenthood is over. I always hate to see the ending of something good. However, the reality is that it lives on in the lives of every parent who is still struggling and fighting for their child. I want to thank the writers of this series for showing a glimpse of what it is like for us. I think they did such a good job portraying what it is like to have autism. The character Max was real. He wasn't exaggerated to make a point. His tantrums, OCD, and other quirks were showed in a very real way...sometimes it hit home a little too well.
*****************************************************
Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have,
but the one with the greatest rewards.
*****************************************************
Watching this show has unleashed many emotions and memories. It has given me time to reflect on past events dealing with my own children. Each of them are so unique. It is no wonder I feel so inadequate. It was like starting all over again with each one. What worked for one did not necessarily work for any of the others. If only they came with instruction manuals! Right? That would make things so much easier. The one thing I could rely on was my support network of friends. I relied a lot on them back then. It was mainly knowing that I wasn't alone. There were also times when we just needed to feel "normal". The only way to achieve this was to surround ourselves with people who were going through the same thing.
I am not going to lie. There were times when I cried so much that my eyes would swell up. There were times when I felt despair. There were times when all I could do was curl up in bed and sleep the day away. One thing you learn as a parent of special needs is to take it one day at a time. I learned to celebrate the little things. I still do.
It is sad to know that Parenthood is over. I always hate to see the ending of something good. However, the reality is that it lives on in the lives of every parent who is still struggling and fighting for their child. I want to thank the writers of this series for showing a glimpse of what it is like for us. I think they did such a good job portraying what it is like to have autism. The character Max was real. He wasn't exaggerated to make a point. His tantrums, OCD, and other quirks were showed in a very real way...sometimes it hit home a little too well.
*****************************************************
Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have,
but the one with the greatest rewards.
*****************************************************
Saturday, November 9, 2013
The Dreaded Health Insurance Letter
I contemplated on whether or not to share this with all of you. I didn't want this blog to become a political forum. However, this goes beyond politics. It reaches far deeper into the hearts of every American citizen and especially those with children with special needs. That is the reason I chose to post this entry.
It has been a long time since I have addressed the Wilson's Disease part of my family. I have not mentioned it because things have been going very well. My daughter is healthy and growing like a weed. She turned 10 this year and is blossoming into a beautiful young lady. We had issues with our insurance a long time ago when we were trying to get a diagnosis. Years later we had issues with her medication. It took an act of Congress to finally find a pharmacy that would file it for us and even mail it to our doorstep! Things were going FANTASTIC! But then....the Affordable Healthcare Act (a.k.a. "Obamacare") kicked in.
When I first heard about Obamacare I have to admit that I was skeptical. I felt like it sounded too good to be true. However, being the incurable optimist that I am, I just kept telling myself that things would get worked out. I felt like the media was blowing things out of proportion. I thought that all the stories I heard were the exception. NOW...I can testify to you all that the stories you hear on the news about people losing their coverage and having to change doctors and such is true! It's happening to me!! I want to shout out my story from the rooftops! I want everyone to know that it's just a matter of time before we ALL receive the dreaded letter in the mail from the insurance company.
First of all, our premiums are going up. In order to receive ALMOST the same coverage, we will have to pay almost $400 MORE a month! Our deductible is higher. Another change is that we have a copay for prescription drugs. However, that is just a drop in the bucket. We are self-employed. My husband has two employees and our income is very flexible from month to month due to the economy. That's the way it has always been. Although we probably qualify for subsidies, we are unable to do anything because all I keep getting is error messages in the website and I do NOT trust it! I refuse to put my trust in something that is not even functional!
Secondly, I was informed that I no longer can use the pharmacy that I had been using to get my specialty medication. Well...the problem is that the new pharmacy does not carry my daughter's prescription! I was horrified when I found out! How could that be? I called the insurance company and they told me that all I needed to do was call the new pharmacy and get them to do a "override" so that I could use another pharmacy. When I called them, they told me to call my insurance company for the override because they were not authorized. WHAT!! Now I was in a tennis match between the pharmacy and the insurance company. What was I to do?! All I could do was call the insurance company again and talk and plead my case. I decided that you get more bees with honey, so I was super sweet when I talked to the representative. The outcome? We are now waiting. I am at their mercy. My daughter only has about 2 weeks worth of medicine before she runs out. If something doesn't happen soon, we might have to pay for her medicine out of pocket. Very scary. It makes me wonder how many other families out there are going through the same thing we are?!
Lastly, I am sick and tired of people making excuses for lies and unkept promises made by the current administration. When are people going to wake up?! There is a great change happening to our country. We are going to see many outcomes come out of these changes....some of which I thought I would never see in my lifetime. There will come a day when we will see loved ones on a list waiting to get life-saving procedures. There are already those who cannot afford healthcare. What are they going to do? Will they be able to go to the ER of a hospital and get treatment? Or will the hospital just have to say, "Sorry...we can't see you today. Come back tomorrow." Worse yet, there are doctors that are deciding to have early retirements. There are doctors that are going to decide to take cash only patients. There are others who will decide not to go to medical school. What kind of incentive do they have? My own son is pursuing a career in the medical field. I hope and pray that he doesn't change his mind. We need great minds like his.
My dear family and friends, what our country needs....what we all need...is prayers. We need to pray for our country. I already see my country being ripped apart. There are those who are bleeding it dry. We owe so much money that I can't even count the zeroes anymore. When will it stop? What can we do to stop it?
***************************
Update to follow..........
***************************
It has been a long time since I have addressed the Wilson's Disease part of my family. I have not mentioned it because things have been going very well. My daughter is healthy and growing like a weed. She turned 10 this year and is blossoming into a beautiful young lady. We had issues with our insurance a long time ago when we were trying to get a diagnosis. Years later we had issues with her medication. It took an act of Congress to finally find a pharmacy that would file it for us and even mail it to our doorstep! Things were going FANTASTIC! But then....the Affordable Healthcare Act (a.k.a. "Obamacare") kicked in.
When I first heard about Obamacare I have to admit that I was skeptical. I felt like it sounded too good to be true. However, being the incurable optimist that I am, I just kept telling myself that things would get worked out. I felt like the media was blowing things out of proportion. I thought that all the stories I heard were the exception. NOW...I can testify to you all that the stories you hear on the news about people losing their coverage and having to change doctors and such is true! It's happening to me!! I want to shout out my story from the rooftops! I want everyone to know that it's just a matter of time before we ALL receive the dreaded letter in the mail from the insurance company.
First of all, our premiums are going up. In order to receive ALMOST the same coverage, we will have to pay almost $400 MORE a month! Our deductible is higher. Another change is that we have a copay for prescription drugs. However, that is just a drop in the bucket. We are self-employed. My husband has two employees and our income is very flexible from month to month due to the economy. That's the way it has always been. Although we probably qualify for subsidies, we are unable to do anything because all I keep getting is error messages in the website and I do NOT trust it! I refuse to put my trust in something that is not even functional!
Secondly, I was informed that I no longer can use the pharmacy that I had been using to get my specialty medication. Well...the problem is that the new pharmacy does not carry my daughter's prescription! I was horrified when I found out! How could that be? I called the insurance company and they told me that all I needed to do was call the new pharmacy and get them to do a "override" so that I could use another pharmacy. When I called them, they told me to call my insurance company for the override because they were not authorized. WHAT!! Now I was in a tennis match between the pharmacy and the insurance company. What was I to do?! All I could do was call the insurance company again and talk and plead my case. I decided that you get more bees with honey, so I was super sweet when I talked to the representative. The outcome? We are now waiting. I am at their mercy. My daughter only has about 2 weeks worth of medicine before she runs out. If something doesn't happen soon, we might have to pay for her medicine out of pocket. Very scary. It makes me wonder how many other families out there are going through the same thing we are?!
Lastly, I am sick and tired of people making excuses for lies and unkept promises made by the current administration. When are people going to wake up?! There is a great change happening to our country. We are going to see many outcomes come out of these changes....some of which I thought I would never see in my lifetime. There will come a day when we will see loved ones on a list waiting to get life-saving procedures. There are already those who cannot afford healthcare. What are they going to do? Will they be able to go to the ER of a hospital and get treatment? Or will the hospital just have to say, "Sorry...we can't see you today. Come back tomorrow." Worse yet, there are doctors that are deciding to have early retirements. There are doctors that are going to decide to take cash only patients. There are others who will decide not to go to medical school. What kind of incentive do they have? My own son is pursuing a career in the medical field. I hope and pray that he doesn't change his mind. We need great minds like his.
My dear family and friends, what our country needs....what we all need...is prayers. We need to pray for our country. I already see my country being ripped apart. There are those who are bleeding it dry. We owe so much money that I can't even count the zeroes anymore. When will it stop? What can we do to stop it?
***************************
Update to follow..........
***************************
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
What Defines a Good Teacher?
I am very excited to announce that I will be teaching Biology and Spanish to High School students starting next month for the 2013/2014 school year! It's surreal to think that I will have a hand in molding the minds of these young men and young women. I know many of the students on my roll. They are very smart and will definitely keep me on my toes. The biggest question on my mind is this: what defines a good teacher, and can I live up to my own expectations?
To me, teaching is a passion. I have taught kids as young as preschool all the way up to adults. I have given workshops to large groups and have enjoyed seeing those lightbulbs go off as people understand different concepts. The biggest compliment for a teacher is seeing her students succeed. That is always the ultimate goal. That is the reason that I take this job very seriously.
So, what defines a good teacher? A good teacher will be patient, kind, knowledgable, flexible, and humble. A good teacher will create an environment where the students feel like they can ask any question without judgment. A good teacher will know that she doesn't always have all the answers, but will go out of her way to find them. A good teacher will be prepared. A good teacher will rejoice in the success of her students, and lift up those who may be struggling. A good teacher will try to be a good role model. A good teacher will admit when she is wrong. A good teacher will seek out new ways to teach and reach out to her students. A good teacher will do all of this and say to herself, "What more can I do?"
All I know is that I will be kneeling in prayer more often this upcoming school year. There will be fourteen more names on my mind each night that I will add to the four that I love very dearly. I know that with Heavenly Father's help I can be a good teacher.
******************************
Have you hugged a teacher today?
She just might need it!
******************************
To me, teaching is a passion. I have taught kids as young as preschool all the way up to adults. I have given workshops to large groups and have enjoyed seeing those lightbulbs go off as people understand different concepts. The biggest compliment for a teacher is seeing her students succeed. That is always the ultimate goal. That is the reason that I take this job very seriously.
So, what defines a good teacher? A good teacher will be patient, kind, knowledgable, flexible, and humble. A good teacher will create an environment where the students feel like they can ask any question without judgment. A good teacher will know that she doesn't always have all the answers, but will go out of her way to find them. A good teacher will be prepared. A good teacher will rejoice in the success of her students, and lift up those who may be struggling. A good teacher will try to be a good role model. A good teacher will admit when she is wrong. A good teacher will seek out new ways to teach and reach out to her students. A good teacher will do all of this and say to herself, "What more can I do?"
All I know is that I will be kneeling in prayer more often this upcoming school year. There will be fourteen more names on my mind each night that I will add to the four that I love very dearly. I know that with Heavenly Father's help I can be a good teacher.
******************************
Have you hugged a teacher today?
She just might need it!
******************************
Friday, June 7, 2013
Mommy Tantrums
We've all seen them...the tantrums that kids have when they don't get their way. Perhaps you have seen a child who starts to cry at the sound of the word "NO" or "not now". We are all born with these tendancies and eventually outgrow them as we get older....Or do we?
As a mother, I can say that I've had my fair share of tantrums. I have lost my temper on numerous occasions and have said things I later regretted. However, I have learned to accept the fact that I am just human. I am allowed to make mistakes once in a while. I learn from those mistakes and hopefully grow from them.
Recently I have come to accept that some of the traits I strongly dislike in my children are traits that I personally need to work on myself! Traits such as stubborness, being unorganized, and procrastination are things I struggle with. It's not a surprise that I see these same traits in my children.
What is my first instinct when my kids don't do what I ask them to do? Well...it's usually to yell or sometimes pull them by their hair and force them to do it. (Just being honest.) However, I stop myself (usually) and think to myself, "Is this the best way to handle this situation? Or is this going to make things worse?" Just the other day I saw my oldest physically forcing his younger brother to do what he wanted. It was like a lightbulb went on inside my head. I realized that in order to teach my kids how to control those urges, I must first learn to control those myself. What a brilliant idea!!!
Next time I am about to lose it I am going to shut myself in my room and scream into my pillow. I will shed a few tears. I will basically give myself a mommy time-out. I will then compose myself and resume my motherly duties. Yep! That's what I'll do. (I'll let ya'll know how that works out for me.)
***********************
Need a little time-out?
***********************
As a mother, I can say that I've had my fair share of tantrums. I have lost my temper on numerous occasions and have said things I later regretted. However, I have learned to accept the fact that I am just human. I am allowed to make mistakes once in a while. I learn from those mistakes and hopefully grow from them.
Recently I have come to accept that some of the traits I strongly dislike in my children are traits that I personally need to work on myself! Traits such as stubborness, being unorganized, and procrastination are things I struggle with. It's not a surprise that I see these same traits in my children.
What is my first instinct when my kids don't do what I ask them to do? Well...it's usually to yell or sometimes pull them by their hair and force them to do it. (Just being honest.) However, I stop myself (usually) and think to myself, "Is this the best way to handle this situation? Or is this going to make things worse?" Just the other day I saw my oldest physically forcing his younger brother to do what he wanted. It was like a lightbulb went on inside my head. I realized that in order to teach my kids how to control those urges, I must first learn to control those myself. What a brilliant idea!!!
Next time I am about to lose it I am going to shut myself in my room and scream into my pillow. I will shed a few tears. I will basically give myself a mommy time-out. I will then compose myself and resume my motherly duties. Yep! That's what I'll do. (I'll let ya'll know how that works out for me.)
***********************
Need a little time-out?
***********************
Sunday, October 28, 2012
The "A" List Book Launch
This is an exciting time for me and all of my family. The official book launch of my first published book will take place on November 1st at the Lowder Branch Library here in Montgomery, Alabama! I am so humbled by the support from Julia-Ann Jenkins and all of my dear friends. They truly want to see me succeed.
I added the link to the book on Amazon in this blog. I plan to update you all on what is new and how things are going. In the meantime, feel free to spread the word and share my site with everyone you know.
There are many people I want to thank, but I want to take this opportunity to thank my dear friend Barb Garrison who took the time to help me with my author picture that I eventually used in my book. She was able to help me meet my personal deadline for the completion of my book. I can't thank her enough!
***************************************
Book Signing/Autism Discussion
Lowder Branch Library on Bell Road
November 1st
6:30pm - 8:30pm
*Books available for purchase at the event for $16.99
***************************************
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