This past week we ventured into uncharted territory....Disney! Who can totally be prepared for an experience like that? We knew there would be a lot of people, but there were thousands and thousands of people. We knew the lines would be long, but we had minimum of thirty minute wait per ride. The food is infamously expensive, but we have no idea it would be such low quality. Needless to say, it was an adventure.
I am so glad that we had more than a couple days to spend in Orlando because it took us a couple of days to get used to the routine. By the third day we were "pros" and we had things figured out. We quickly learned that getting in line to get a "fast-pass" was well worth the wait. We planned the rides we wanted to take and charted our course. We split up on rides where the younger ones could not ride and that helped us cover even more ground. Last, but definitely not least, we planned our potty breaks and food breaks. I can honestly say that we did not have a single accident!
We learned a lot of life lessons from this trip. The first thing we learned was patience. We had to wait in line for EVERYTHING.... including using the bathroom. I still cannot believe that in a place that is supposed to be catered towards families with children there was only ONE changing table in each bathroom. So... I would go inside and wait in line to change my baby's diaper and then I had to get in the back of the loooong line to use the bathroom myself. It was ridiculous! We also had to wait in line for the rides. I was expecting that so it didn't shock me. I remember how hard it was as a child having to wait in line. However, I quickly learned that when you have to stand in line for such a long time you end up meeting some really cool people. In one of the lines I spoke with an older couple from Germany who were here with a choir. They actually sang at Epcot the night before and they were going to go to a singing workshop that evening. They had never been to Disney and so they had a lot of questions for me. I was more than happy to oblige. Then there was a neat family from Texas who just fell in love with our daughter. They ended up showing her a secret handshake and gave her some really great advice before boarding the ride. They told her, "remember to always love yourself and you too can one day become president." I thought it was cute.
Another great lesson we learned was that as long as the kids were fed, they were happy. We did pretty well making sure we had snacks and water packed for the day. We didn't want to have pay the ridiculous prices for those things inside. We quickly learned that if we took a "snack" break about every two hours then the kids were able to wait in line better and we were all in a much better mood. Sometimes we even took those snack breaks while waiting in line! That helped the time go by faster and it kept our little toddler calmer as well.
Last, but not least, we learned that there is nothing better than being together as a family. It doesn't matter where you are. The moment we got back from our trip I felt such a sense of peace and contentment. It wasn't that we didn't have a good time, because we did. We had the best accommodations and stayed at a prime spot where everything was nearby. We also were able to visit a lot of theme parks and ride all the rides we wanted to. However, I honestly can say that the happiest place on earth (at least for our family) is home.
*****************************************
There's no place like home. (Wizard of Oz)
*****************************************
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
What You Should Know About the Flu Shot
When I worked at the laboratory I was required to get the annual flu shot in order to work there. I never thought anything of it and everyone else got it, so I had no reason to worry. Recently, I have questioned the efficacy of the flu shot and if the risks are worth the possible benefits. I was shocked at what I found out.
First, the Flu Vaccine DOES contain thimerosal (mercury-based preservative). I even found negative information concerning the FluMist vaccine. In the section of the FluMist package insert labeled "PRECAUTIONS," the manufacturer states the following warning: "FluMist® recipients should avoid close contact with immunocompromised individuals for at least 21 days."
The warning is specifically directed toward those living in the same household with an immunocompromised person, but the on-going release of live viruses throughout the community may be a significant risk to everyone who has a weak, or weakened, immune system. I thought that was interesting considering that "immunocompromised" individuals include the elderly and infants, who ironically cannot receive the FluMist vaccine.
The way they make the Flu vaccine is another thing to consider. They don't make the vaccine for the strain that is going around THIS year.... they use LAST year's strain. That is another reason why so many people contract the Flu anyway. Another factor to consider is if your child has any allergy towards eggs you might want to make sure that you talk with your doctor about it. Some children have had horrible side-effects... including death due to allergic reactions to the vaccine.
I urge you (especially if you are pregnant) to read the following pamphlet. If you can't just click on the link just copy and paste and it will take you to the pdf formatted pamphlet online. It is full of good information and cautions about the flu vaccine: http://www.safeminds.org/alert-flu-vaccine-2008.pdf
Here are some of the highlights:
1) In March 2001, the FDA issued a statement warning pregnant women and young children not to eat fish containing high levels of mercury because it causes neurological problems in children.
2) SafeMinds is deeply concerned that the risks of mercury-containing flu shots outweigh the benefits in pregnant women and young children.
3)**The pamphlet quotes package inserts of some popular brands of vaccines and shows the precautions and lack of evidence of safety... This is very disconcerting especially when you look at the carcinogenic and mutagenic factors.
4) EPA estimates that one in six women has levels of mercury in their bodies that could cause harm to their unborn children.
5) Simple techniques such as avoiding those with flu-like illnesses and good handwashing can prevent many cases of the flu.
The main point I want to make is to be informed. Don't let the doctors tell you that mercury is okay in small amounts. It's not! Don't let them tell you that it's okay to get shots that contain mercury when you're pregnant. It's not! Don't let them tell you that there is no proof.... because I am here to tell you that there is! Speak up and insist on a vaccine that does not have mercury. They are available now. If you don't take MY word for it, just look it up online. You will amazed at what you find... I sure was.
**************************************
Protecting those who are not born is
paramount to protecting those who are
already here. They are the future and
our hope.
**************************************
First, the Flu Vaccine DOES contain thimerosal (mercury-based preservative). I even found negative information concerning the FluMist vaccine. In the section of the FluMist package insert labeled "PRECAUTIONS," the manufacturer states the following warning: "FluMist® recipients should avoid close contact with immunocompromised individuals for at least 21 days."
The warning is specifically directed toward those living in the same household with an immunocompromised person, but the on-going release of live viruses throughout the community may be a significant risk to everyone who has a weak, or weakened, immune system. I thought that was interesting considering that "immunocompromised" individuals include the elderly and infants, who ironically cannot receive the FluMist vaccine.
The way they make the Flu vaccine is another thing to consider. They don't make the vaccine for the strain that is going around THIS year.... they use LAST year's strain. That is another reason why so many people contract the Flu anyway. Another factor to consider is if your child has any allergy towards eggs you might want to make sure that you talk with your doctor about it. Some children have had horrible side-effects... including death due to allergic reactions to the vaccine.
I urge you (especially if you are pregnant) to read the following pamphlet. If you can't just click on the link just copy and paste and it will take you to the pdf formatted pamphlet online. It is full of good information and cautions about the flu vaccine: http://www.safeminds.org/alert-flu-vaccine-2008.pdf
Here are some of the highlights:
1) In March 2001, the FDA issued a statement warning pregnant women and young children not to eat fish containing high levels of mercury because it causes neurological problems in children.
2) SafeMinds is deeply concerned that the risks of mercury-containing flu shots outweigh the benefits in pregnant women and young children.
3)**The pamphlet quotes package inserts of some popular brands of vaccines and shows the precautions and lack of evidence of safety... This is very disconcerting especially when you look at the carcinogenic and mutagenic factors.
4) EPA estimates that one in six women has levels of mercury in their bodies that could cause harm to their unborn children.
5) Simple techniques such as avoiding those with flu-like illnesses and good handwashing can prevent many cases of the flu.
The main point I want to make is to be informed. Don't let the doctors tell you that mercury is okay in small amounts. It's not! Don't let them tell you that it's okay to get shots that contain mercury when you're pregnant. It's not! Don't let them tell you that there is no proof.... because I am here to tell you that there is! Speak up and insist on a vaccine that does not have mercury. They are available now. If you don't take MY word for it, just look it up online. You will amazed at what you find... I sure was.
**************************************
Protecting those who are not born is
paramount to protecting those who are
already here. They are the future and
our hope.
**************************************
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Strange Behavior....What does it mean?
Those of you who have children in the autism spectrum are quite familiar with the odd behavior and outright insanity of some of the things your kids do. This post was to share some of those experiences and hopefully shed some light as to why they do those things.
When my #2 was a toddler he had an obsession with poop. It was so gross! I thought I would never get rid of the smell in the house, on the bed, or on ME. I remember how horrible I was to him. I would spank him on a regular basis. I thought I was going to lose my mind. The worst day was when my husband and I were downstairs watching television and we smelled the poop from his room upstairs. I was afraid to open the door to his room because I could smell the concentrated aroma. When I opened the door it looked like a horror show. There was poop all over. I looked up and there was even some on the ceiling. The worst part of it all was the poop all over his face and hair. The smell of poop came out of his mouth in his breath so I believe he even ate some of it. Needless to say, I cried a lot that night.
Why did he do this? Well...I know very well that a lot of "normal" kids go through this as well. However, I read that in some children with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) they have low zinc. Zinc evidently plays an important role in a person's sense of smell and taste. Unfortunately, we had no clue at this point that anything was wrong with him and so we didn't know to test him for it. Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it? Zinc supplements may have helped. We had to endure his poop fetish for months!!! To this day, we still have issues with him. I need to get his zinc tested. It is like he doesn't smell it. He will have poop in his underwear and it will dry up and smell like something died in his pants. It doesn't even bother him! Unfortunately, I have a smelling deficit myself due to a viral infection I acquired years ago that damaged my olfactory nerves. That means that the smell has to be VERY strong for me to smell it. Lucky me! :)
OCD tendencies are also a big challenge to deal with. My #2 has had some very interesting ones. At one time he had to "check his privates" every chance he got. His hand was always inside his pants. I thought perhaps his underwear was too tight so I changed it. That didn't do the trick. It was embarrassing when he did it in public because he was a seven year-old boy and I could only imagine what people were thinking. There was nothing sexual in nature about his actions. As a matter of fact, I asked him why he was doing it and he said he just had to check it. He didn't even realize he was doing it half the time. I had to constantly remind him to take his hands out of his pants. He finally stopped doing it recently and I am so thankful. Of course, it was short-lived because right now he is doing a weird thing. He will touch his tongue and then smell his fingers. He does it all the time. I try and remind him that his hands are dirty and he doesn't need to be putting them into his mouth. I hope this one passes soon.
I have done research on OCD and it is due to the heightened senses in these children. Their senses are overwhelmed most of the time. However, you often see children immerse themselves in their environment. For example, it's not rare for my child who is eight now to not only smell something but also try and taste it. It's a primal behavior and kind of a survival mechanism. He still has issues with noise and/or sounds. At church he will often have to leave during singing time. It is getting better, but I can tell he gets very restless when the children get loud. It is overwhelming for him at times. I never noticed it until his teacher told me. The one thing that has helped is his ability to communicate. He can actually tell me when something is bothering him. That is truly priceless.
Things start to make sense when you think about the behavior as a reaction to a stimulus. This is when it becomes critical to find out which stimuli cause the behavior problems. In some children it might be smells. In other children it might be noise. Either way, it is important to realize that these children see, feel, and experience the world in a total different way than we do. We can't even begin to comprehend what it must be like. However, if we are lucky we will find ourselves looking at the world through their eyes. We might even find beauty in something that is often overlooked. There is definitely nothing "strange" about that.
*******************************
The truth is sometimes stranger
than fiction.
*******************************
When my #2 was a toddler he had an obsession with poop. It was so gross! I thought I would never get rid of the smell in the house, on the bed, or on ME. I remember how horrible I was to him. I would spank him on a regular basis. I thought I was going to lose my mind. The worst day was when my husband and I were downstairs watching television and we smelled the poop from his room upstairs. I was afraid to open the door to his room because I could smell the concentrated aroma. When I opened the door it looked like a horror show. There was poop all over. I looked up and there was even some on the ceiling. The worst part of it all was the poop all over his face and hair. The smell of poop came out of his mouth in his breath so I believe he even ate some of it. Needless to say, I cried a lot that night.
Why did he do this? Well...I know very well that a lot of "normal" kids go through this as well. However, I read that in some children with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) they have low zinc. Zinc evidently plays an important role in a person's sense of smell and taste. Unfortunately, we had no clue at this point that anything was wrong with him and so we didn't know to test him for it. Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it? Zinc supplements may have helped. We had to endure his poop fetish for months!!! To this day, we still have issues with him. I need to get his zinc tested. It is like he doesn't smell it. He will have poop in his underwear and it will dry up and smell like something died in his pants. It doesn't even bother him! Unfortunately, I have a smelling deficit myself due to a viral infection I acquired years ago that damaged my olfactory nerves. That means that the smell has to be VERY strong for me to smell it. Lucky me! :)
OCD tendencies are also a big challenge to deal with. My #2 has had some very interesting ones. At one time he had to "check his privates" every chance he got. His hand was always inside his pants. I thought perhaps his underwear was too tight so I changed it. That didn't do the trick. It was embarrassing when he did it in public because he was a seven year-old boy and I could only imagine what people were thinking. There was nothing sexual in nature about his actions. As a matter of fact, I asked him why he was doing it and he said he just had to check it. He didn't even realize he was doing it half the time. I had to constantly remind him to take his hands out of his pants. He finally stopped doing it recently and I am so thankful. Of course, it was short-lived because right now he is doing a weird thing. He will touch his tongue and then smell his fingers. He does it all the time. I try and remind him that his hands are dirty and he doesn't need to be putting them into his mouth. I hope this one passes soon.
I have done research on OCD and it is due to the heightened senses in these children. Their senses are overwhelmed most of the time. However, you often see children immerse themselves in their environment. For example, it's not rare for my child who is eight now to not only smell something but also try and taste it. It's a primal behavior and kind of a survival mechanism. He still has issues with noise and/or sounds. At church he will often have to leave during singing time. It is getting better, but I can tell he gets very restless when the children get loud. It is overwhelming for him at times. I never noticed it until his teacher told me. The one thing that has helped is his ability to communicate. He can actually tell me when something is bothering him. That is truly priceless.
Things start to make sense when you think about the behavior as a reaction to a stimulus. This is when it becomes critical to find out which stimuli cause the behavior problems. In some children it might be smells. In other children it might be noise. Either way, it is important to realize that these children see, feel, and experience the world in a total different way than we do. We can't even begin to comprehend what it must be like. However, if we are lucky we will find ourselves looking at the world through their eyes. We might even find beauty in something that is often overlooked. There is definitely nothing "strange" about that.
*******************************
The truth is sometimes stranger
than fiction.
*******************************
Sunday, November 16, 2008
An Amazing Movie Everyone Should See
My husband and I had the wonderful opportunity of watching a movie entitled "How Difficult Can This Be?" by Richard Lavoie. It was shown at our children's school and it was amazing!! It is a movie that ALL people should see. It takes you through the frustrations and anxiety that learning disabled children experience every day. It definitely opened our eyes and I am sure it will yours. The following is a link to the movie and information on the workshop. I am sure you can probably find it somewhere for cheaper, but I thought this link had a good description:
http://www.shoppbs.org/sm-pbs-richard-lavoie-how-difficult-can-this-be-fat-city-a--pi-1863454.html
I thought it was important for me to explain why I felt everyone should see this, especially teachers. There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to being "Learning Disabled". The definition is: A childhood disorder characterized by difficulty with certain skills such as reading or writing in individuals with normal intelligence. Learning disorders affect the ability to interpret what one sees and hears or the ability to link information from different parts of the brain. These limitations can show up in many ways -- as specific difficulties with spoken and written language, coordination, self-control, or attention. Such difficulties extend to schoolwork and can impede learning to read or write, or to do math.
The big point to remember is that children with learning disabilities are not dumb. They are not "Mentally Retarded"... they just have to work a little harder than other kids. Case and point...my oldest is our little genius, but his ADHD definitely interferes with many aspects of learning and social skills. He just has to work a little harder to make friends and to concentrate in class. It's amazing how he is able to compensate. Most people would not even notice these days.
Of course, the term "Learning Disabled" is not used very much these days due to the enormous numbers of diagnosis labels given to children. ADD/ADHD, Autism, PDD, and Dyslexia, are just a few among those labels. In the broad scheme of things a learning disability just means that there are no environmental factors, mental retardation, or lack of experience to account for difficulty in learning. That basically sums it up.
One of the lessons we learned from the movie was that people who are learning disabled are shaped into what they become by the way they are treated... especially in classroom settings. For example, in the workshop they showed how teachers will often call on students to answer a question and then only call attention to wrong answers given versus the correct ones. This often leads to children not wanting to ever answer a question and dreading to be called upon. Also, it can lead to adults who are afraid to ever take chances. That's not good since you can never succeed in life unless you take a chance once in a while.
Another thing we learned is that it is important for people to realize how difficult ordinary things can become to these special children. Richard Lavoie had the people do an exercise where they had to tell a story and they couldn't use any words with the letter "N" in them. It was very difficult and the participants sounded very much like learning disabled children. The key to understanding a disability is to put yourself in those shoes, even if for a moment. I was able to put myself in those shoes and see what it was like. For a brief moment I had a "light bulb" moment where I started to understand some of my #2's challenges. I am sure you all have had the experience of listening to a child tell a story and they stutter and/or fail to think of words and in your mind you wish that they would just hurry up and finish already because you are tired or frustrated with them. Well... imagine the opposite... imagine that you are trying to tell another person a story and in your mind you can think of the words you want to say, but they just won't come out of your mouth. Your frustration and anxiety just rise and rise until you cannot stand it anymore, and you just decide it's not worth it anymore and just quit talking. That's pretty much one of the many things that Mr. Lavoie tries to simulate in his workshop.
I would have to write a book to summarize half of what this movie covers. I strongly suggest you look into it and find out when Richard Lavoie is doing a workshop/seminar in your area. He would definitely be worth seeing in person. It is amazing the insight he offers and the amount of information you obtain in such a short period of time. I learned more in the 1 1/2 hours of his workshop than I could have learned in years!
**********************
A picture is worth a
thousand words.... but
to walk in someone
else's footsteps....
that's priceless!
**********************
http://www.shoppbs.org/sm-pbs-richard-lavoie-how-difficult-can-this-be-fat-city-a--pi-1863454.html
I thought it was important for me to explain why I felt everyone should see this, especially teachers. There are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to being "Learning Disabled". The definition is: A childhood disorder characterized by difficulty with certain skills such as reading or writing in individuals with normal intelligence. Learning disorders affect the ability to interpret what one sees and hears or the ability to link information from different parts of the brain. These limitations can show up in many ways -- as specific difficulties with spoken and written language, coordination, self-control, or attention. Such difficulties extend to schoolwork and can impede learning to read or write, or to do math.
The big point to remember is that children with learning disabilities are not dumb. They are not "Mentally Retarded"... they just have to work a little harder than other kids. Case and point...my oldest is our little genius, but his ADHD definitely interferes with many aspects of learning and social skills. He just has to work a little harder to make friends and to concentrate in class. It's amazing how he is able to compensate. Most people would not even notice these days.
Of course, the term "Learning Disabled" is not used very much these days due to the enormous numbers of diagnosis labels given to children. ADD/ADHD, Autism, PDD, and Dyslexia, are just a few among those labels. In the broad scheme of things a learning disability just means that there are no environmental factors, mental retardation, or lack of experience to account for difficulty in learning. That basically sums it up.
One of the lessons we learned from the movie was that people who are learning disabled are shaped into what they become by the way they are treated... especially in classroom settings. For example, in the workshop they showed how teachers will often call on students to answer a question and then only call attention to wrong answers given versus the correct ones. This often leads to children not wanting to ever answer a question and dreading to be called upon. Also, it can lead to adults who are afraid to ever take chances. That's not good since you can never succeed in life unless you take a chance once in a while.
Another thing we learned is that it is important for people to realize how difficult ordinary things can become to these special children. Richard Lavoie had the people do an exercise where they had to tell a story and they couldn't use any words with the letter "N" in them. It was very difficult and the participants sounded very much like learning disabled children. The key to understanding a disability is to put yourself in those shoes, even if for a moment. I was able to put myself in those shoes and see what it was like. For a brief moment I had a "light bulb" moment where I started to understand some of my #2's challenges. I am sure you all have had the experience of listening to a child tell a story and they stutter and/or fail to think of words and in your mind you wish that they would just hurry up and finish already because you are tired or frustrated with them. Well... imagine the opposite... imagine that you are trying to tell another person a story and in your mind you can think of the words you want to say, but they just won't come out of your mouth. Your frustration and anxiety just rise and rise until you cannot stand it anymore, and you just decide it's not worth it anymore and just quit talking. That's pretty much one of the many things that Mr. Lavoie tries to simulate in his workshop.
I would have to write a book to summarize half of what this movie covers. I strongly suggest you look into it and find out when Richard Lavoie is doing a workshop/seminar in your area. He would definitely be worth seeing in person. It is amazing the insight he offers and the amount of information you obtain in such a short period of time. I learned more in the 1 1/2 hours of his workshop than I could have learned in years!
**********************
A picture is worth a
thousand words.... but
to walk in someone
else's footsteps....
that's priceless!
**********************
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Window of Opportunity
Time sure flies when you're having fun. It also flies when you're not...doesn't it? Either way, you look back and realize that your kids are growing up before your eyes and there is nothing that you can do to turn back the clock. The most important lesson I have learned is that there is no time like the present. You can either sit back and wish things to be, or you can do something about it. When it comes to raising kids that could not be more true. It is especially true when it comes to dealing with children with issues.
There is a window of opportunity to most things. The first thing I think of is discipline. How many kids have I seen who hit their moms and they are not reprimanded! What about babies who throw tantrums or hit and their parents just shrug their shoulders? Little problems like these turn into much bigger problems when they are older. Children with ADHD or Autism require a much more structured environment and consistent discipline. They cannot be taught that their challenge can be used as an excuse. They learn this early on. Treating them like any other normal child is the best way to love them. They will learn to respect you and others in the long-run.
Another window of opportunity occurs with therapy/treatment. You can't wait until the child is five before treating things like ADHD or Autism. Treatment doesn't have to involve drugs either. Learning how to deal with situations and having a "game plan" is vital. My husband and I read tons of books and talked with professionals about different methods and ways of dealing with these issues. However, experience has taught us that "professionals" don't always know what is best for your child. You need to use your gut instincts and common sense. If you know your child is having trouble or difficulties and the "professionals" are trying to tell you that you need to wait or "just give them time" and re-evaluate.... don't miss out on that "window" and do something NOW! Sometimes you need the time to figure out what is happening with your child. For example, it took us years to figure out what was happening with our daughter. If we would have waited or done nothing then the outcome could have been detrimental.
A very important "window" occurs in diagnosis. Sometimes if your child is not diagnosed properly or if it takes too long then the symptoms can worsen. You might end up with another problem. This is when children are misdiagnosed and then given unnecessary drugs. I see it happen all the time. I am so thankful that we were aggressive in finding out what was happening with our daughter. When I went online I read so many stories of people who were misdiagnosed with schizophrenia or other mental diseases because of advanced stages of Wilson's Disease. The symptoms mimic other conditions. Also, in my older children I think that taking action early on helped them cope with the challenges of school and other social settings. We were able to teach them social skills and other vital lessons that they will need for the rest of their lives.
I see these opportunities as a blessing. We are given the tools and knowledge to use in making such judgments concerning our children. It's important to remember that we are their advocates. It's up to us to make sure that they are healthy, happy, and safe. Remember that years go by so quickly. My oldest is already twelve years old and I just can't believe it! One day I will see him a grown man with a family of his own. It's up to me and my husband to make sure that we take advantage of these windows of opportunity in their lives to teach them and to guide them. It's up to us to make sure that we are proactive in finding out what their strengths and weaknesses are so that we can better prepare them for life. We may not be professionals in psychology or medicine, but we are "professionals" in our own right. We have an obligation to use those skills and education we have acquired to be the best parents that we can possibly be.
****************************
There is a window of opportunity to most things. The first thing I think of is discipline. How many kids have I seen who hit their moms and they are not reprimanded! What about babies who throw tantrums or hit and their parents just shrug their shoulders? Little problems like these turn into much bigger problems when they are older. Children with ADHD or Autism require a much more structured environment and consistent discipline. They cannot be taught that their challenge can be used as an excuse. They learn this early on. Treating them like any other normal child is the best way to love them. They will learn to respect you and others in the long-run.
Another window of opportunity occurs with therapy/treatment. You can't wait until the child is five before treating things like ADHD or Autism. Treatment doesn't have to involve drugs either. Learning how to deal with situations and having a "game plan" is vital. My husband and I read tons of books and talked with professionals about different methods and ways of dealing with these issues. However, experience has taught us that "professionals" don't always know what is best for your child. You need to use your gut instincts and common sense. If you know your child is having trouble or difficulties and the "professionals" are trying to tell you that you need to wait or "just give them time" and re-evaluate.... don't miss out on that "window" and do something NOW! Sometimes you need the time to figure out what is happening with your child. For example, it took us years to figure out what was happening with our daughter. If we would have waited or done nothing then the outcome could have been detrimental.
A very important "window" occurs in diagnosis. Sometimes if your child is not diagnosed properly or if it takes too long then the symptoms can worsen. You might end up with another problem. This is when children are misdiagnosed and then given unnecessary drugs. I see it happen all the time. I am so thankful that we were aggressive in finding out what was happening with our daughter. When I went online I read so many stories of people who were misdiagnosed with schizophrenia or other mental diseases because of advanced stages of Wilson's Disease. The symptoms mimic other conditions. Also, in my older children I think that taking action early on helped them cope with the challenges of school and other social settings. We were able to teach them social skills and other vital lessons that they will need for the rest of their lives.
I see these opportunities as a blessing. We are given the tools and knowledge to use in making such judgments concerning our children. It's important to remember that we are their advocates. It's up to us to make sure that they are healthy, happy, and safe. Remember that years go by so quickly. My oldest is already twelve years old and I just can't believe it! One day I will see him a grown man with a family of his own. It's up to me and my husband to make sure that we take advantage of these windows of opportunity in their lives to teach them and to guide them. It's up to us to make sure that we are proactive in finding out what their strengths and weaknesses are so that we can better prepare them for life. We may not be professionals in psychology or medicine, but we are "professionals" in our own right. We have an obligation to use those skills and education we have acquired to be the best parents that we can possibly be.
****************************
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Got Time?
Being a full-time mommy of four children can be very overwhelming. There are days when I don't remember if I even took a shower or not. However, I am learning the art of time management and delegation. Those are the secrets to a happy home. What prompted me to post this was I've had a couple of friends ask me how I do it with such a large family. (They have no clue that I actually have a small family compared to some of my friends and most of the LDS population.) I thought I would share some of my "secrets" for saving time, money, and most importantly..... your sanity.
I have been a pack rat for most of my life. I have trouble throwing away things. I think it stems from being a military brat and moving so much during my childhood. You tend to get attached to stuff since that's the only consistency in your life. However, I have learned how to manage SOME of that in my life. In turn, it has saved me a lot of time in the long-run. For example, I used to keep little pieces of paper or envelopes or whatever had notes on it and it got out of hand. I purchased a little miniature spiral notebook and I write down phone numbers, addresses, contact information, etc... and I have divided the information into categories. Now, when I want to keep a number or contact I just write it into my notebook and throw away the business card or piece of paper. Also, when I want to look up the information it's right there and I don't waste valuable time sorting through business cards, etc.... It's great!!!
Another thing I have done is purchase a cork board and a dry-erase board. I have them mounted on the wall right by the back door. I call it my "brain" and I use it on a daily basis. I put important hand-outs from school pinned on the cork board. I also have calendars to help me keep up with different schedules, etc... On my dry-erase board I have a monthly calendar that I keep updated. I use a color-coded system to keep track of my children's activities and meetings. I don't know what I ever did before I used the boards. I save so much time because I just look at my day the night before and I have it all planned out. I can also refer to it when I make appointments and I don't have to worry about missing out on anything. It has literally transformed my life.
When you have a large family to feed one of the biggest issues is what's for dinner? Well.... I have the neatest group of friends and we have joined together and formed a Frozen Food Swap group. It's great! We get together once a month and we literally swap food. This is how it works: let's say you have eight people in your group.... You make 8 identical meals (and we have set up some guidelines such as it needs to have at least 6 servings, include two pounds of protein, etc...) and you show up with 7 at the swap already prepared, packaged, and frozen (because you keep the 8th for yourself), and you leave with 7 different frozen meals that you can heat up anytime you need. It has saved me a ton of money, time, and my family just LOVES the meals. We try and plan the meals ahead of time. We discuss ideas of what we want to make the month prior and decide as a group what each of us will make. The neat thing is that you are limited only by your imagination. There are literally thousands of freezer meals recipes online. We also have some wonderful cooks in our group so it works out for us. I try and save the meals for when I don't feel like cooking or on Sunday so I don't have to cook. Most of the meals last for two days and so I have plenty of carry-over from month to month. If you haven't tried it, you should. It's definitely worth it for me.
Delegate! Delegate! Delegate! I cannot stress that enough. It doesn't matter if you only have one or two kids... take it from me... start now! I made the mistake of trying to be the "super mom" to my kids. It does them NO justice. They need to learn how to clean and be a part of a household. The boys need to learn just as much as the girls. My boys scrub toilets, do the dishes, and help with laundry. They vacuum, mop, sweep floors, and help with dusting. There is nothing they can't do. Of course, I am just as guilty as anyone else about trying to do too much by myself. The other day my two-year old took ALL the books off the bookshelf and I got so upset with him. My first instinct was to put the books back into the bookshelf. However, I reprimanded him and then asked HIM to clean it up. Can you believe he did it? All by himself! Now I know that he can do it in the future and that he understands. How does this save time? Imagine all the things you could do if your children help you? It should be a team effort. You are a family and everyone should contribute their fair share.
Know when to call the pros. That's a tough one. I am very frugal and hate to waste money. I try to do things myself when I can, but sometimes I just have to throw in the towel. When school started I thought I would have a lot of free time. I was going to have all the kids in school for most of the week and so I had all these dreams of what I could accomplish while they were gone. Little did I know that I would be more involved with school than ever!! I have tons of field trips, parties, classroom projects, and activities to help with. The work is never done. I also volunteer at the schools and that takes up a few hours a week. Needless to say, my plans had to change. I started to paint my walls and only got halfway finished. You can actually see the line where I couldn't reach anymore. It's sad, actually. So... my husband and I have decided to hire a good friend of ours from church to help us finish the long list of projects and maintenance that we need to do. There is no shame in asking for help. It's truly a win-win situation because we are helping our friend by giving him the business, and he is going to help us maintain our beautiful home. In the end, it will save me time and I will be able to spend the limited time I DO have being involved in my children's school... which is truly priceless.
Last, but definitely not least, learn how to say "no". This is one of those things I am working on. When you try to please everybody else then you and your family are going to feel the consequences. If someone gets upset at you because you don't have the time or can't do it then THEY are the ones with the problem... not you! A true friend will understand and not make you feel bad. This is when it is necessary to prioritize your life. Make sure that you put your family, your marriage, and your values at the top. If something can compromise any of those things, then respectfully decline. It's not hard. The first time you say "no" it's kind of hard and you feel like apologizing and giving excuses... but it gets easier. Again, I am not saying that I am a "pro" at this, but I am getting better at it. I actually made it my New Year's resolution for this year. I have found that I am less stressed and that I have more time. My husband tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. I am so glad that I finally did.
You can't literally add hours to your 24-hour day, but you can give yourself more time. Start keeping track of wasted time. For example, I used to spend between 4-6 hours a day MINIMUM watching television!! I didn't realize it. This was my usual line-up: News/Morning Show (1 hr), People's Court (1 hr), Oprah (1 hr), Reality Shows (2 hrs), Late Night Shows (2 hrs). Well... we purchased a DVR. It is a digital video recorder. You can program your shows and watch them later. I love it because I can fast forward through all the commercials. I never realized how much time is wasted watching commercials!! The added bonus is that it records live t.v. and so if you are interrupted then you can rewind and watch what you missed, or else record what you are watching and see it later. Needless to say, I don't watch as much television. I have a handful of shows that I pre-record and I watch them with my husband. I fold clothes and work on projects while I watch those shows. I feel like I am multi-tasking. I also LOVE to do my abdominal work-outs during the shows as well. (Can't say I don't have time to do it anymore!)
I hope some of the information is useful to you. It's amazing how much time we waste. Figure out where it's going and you will find time to do things you enjoy. With all the things I have to do, I still find time to go out with friends, scrapbook, AND work on this blog. If I can do it, ANYONE can do it!! Try it and see.
*********************************
Time is what prevents everything
from happening at once.
~John Archibald Wheeler
*********************************
I have been a pack rat for most of my life. I have trouble throwing away things. I think it stems from being a military brat and moving so much during my childhood. You tend to get attached to stuff since that's the only consistency in your life. However, I have learned how to manage SOME of that in my life. In turn, it has saved me a lot of time in the long-run. For example, I used to keep little pieces of paper or envelopes or whatever had notes on it and it got out of hand. I purchased a little miniature spiral notebook and I write down phone numbers, addresses, contact information, etc... and I have divided the information into categories. Now, when I want to keep a number or contact I just write it into my notebook and throw away the business card or piece of paper. Also, when I want to look up the information it's right there and I don't waste valuable time sorting through business cards, etc.... It's great!!!
Another thing I have done is purchase a cork board and a dry-erase board. I have them mounted on the wall right by the back door. I call it my "brain" and I use it on a daily basis. I put important hand-outs from school pinned on the cork board. I also have calendars to help me keep up with different schedules, etc... On my dry-erase board I have a monthly calendar that I keep updated. I use a color-coded system to keep track of my children's activities and meetings. I don't know what I ever did before I used the boards. I save so much time because I just look at my day the night before and I have it all planned out. I can also refer to it when I make appointments and I don't have to worry about missing out on anything. It has literally transformed my life.
When you have a large family to feed one of the biggest issues is what's for dinner? Well.... I have the neatest group of friends and we have joined together and formed a Frozen Food Swap group. It's great! We get together once a month and we literally swap food. This is how it works: let's say you have eight people in your group.... You make 8 identical meals (and we have set up some guidelines such as it needs to have at least 6 servings, include two pounds of protein, etc...) and you show up with 7 at the swap already prepared, packaged, and frozen (because you keep the 8th for yourself), and you leave with 7 different frozen meals that you can heat up anytime you need. It has saved me a ton of money, time, and my family just LOVES the meals. We try and plan the meals ahead of time. We discuss ideas of what we want to make the month prior and decide as a group what each of us will make. The neat thing is that you are limited only by your imagination. There are literally thousands of freezer meals recipes online. We also have some wonderful cooks in our group so it works out for us. I try and save the meals for when I don't feel like cooking or on Sunday so I don't have to cook. Most of the meals last for two days and so I have plenty of carry-over from month to month. If you haven't tried it, you should. It's definitely worth it for me.
Delegate! Delegate! Delegate! I cannot stress that enough. It doesn't matter if you only have one or two kids... take it from me... start now! I made the mistake of trying to be the "super mom" to my kids. It does them NO justice. They need to learn how to clean and be a part of a household. The boys need to learn just as much as the girls. My boys scrub toilets, do the dishes, and help with laundry. They vacuum, mop, sweep floors, and help with dusting. There is nothing they can't do. Of course, I am just as guilty as anyone else about trying to do too much by myself. The other day my two-year old took ALL the books off the bookshelf and I got so upset with him. My first instinct was to put the books back into the bookshelf. However, I reprimanded him and then asked HIM to clean it up. Can you believe he did it? All by himself! Now I know that he can do it in the future and that he understands. How does this save time? Imagine all the things you could do if your children help you? It should be a team effort. You are a family and everyone should contribute their fair share.
Know when to call the pros. That's a tough one. I am very frugal and hate to waste money. I try to do things myself when I can, but sometimes I just have to throw in the towel. When school started I thought I would have a lot of free time. I was going to have all the kids in school for most of the week and so I had all these dreams of what I could accomplish while they were gone. Little did I know that I would be more involved with school than ever!! I have tons of field trips, parties, classroom projects, and activities to help with. The work is never done. I also volunteer at the schools and that takes up a few hours a week. Needless to say, my plans had to change. I started to paint my walls and only got halfway finished. You can actually see the line where I couldn't reach anymore. It's sad, actually. So... my husband and I have decided to hire a good friend of ours from church to help us finish the long list of projects and maintenance that we need to do. There is no shame in asking for help. It's truly a win-win situation because we are helping our friend by giving him the business, and he is going to help us maintain our beautiful home. In the end, it will save me time and I will be able to spend the limited time I DO have being involved in my children's school... which is truly priceless.
Last, but definitely not least, learn how to say "no". This is one of those things I am working on. When you try to please everybody else then you and your family are going to feel the consequences. If someone gets upset at you because you don't have the time or can't do it then THEY are the ones with the problem... not you! A true friend will understand and not make you feel bad. This is when it is necessary to prioritize your life. Make sure that you put your family, your marriage, and your values at the top. If something can compromise any of those things, then respectfully decline. It's not hard. The first time you say "no" it's kind of hard and you feel like apologizing and giving excuses... but it gets easier. Again, I am not saying that I am a "pro" at this, but I am getting better at it. I actually made it my New Year's resolution for this year. I have found that I am less stressed and that I have more time. My husband tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. I am so glad that I finally did.
You can't literally add hours to your 24-hour day, but you can give yourself more time. Start keeping track of wasted time. For example, I used to spend between 4-6 hours a day MINIMUM watching television!! I didn't realize it. This was my usual line-up: News/Morning Show (1 hr), People's Court (1 hr), Oprah (1 hr), Reality Shows (2 hrs), Late Night Shows (2 hrs). Well... we purchased a DVR. It is a digital video recorder. You can program your shows and watch them later. I love it because I can fast forward through all the commercials. I never realized how much time is wasted watching commercials!! The added bonus is that it records live t.v. and so if you are interrupted then you can rewind and watch what you missed, or else record what you are watching and see it later. Needless to say, I don't watch as much television. I have a handful of shows that I pre-record and I watch them with my husband. I fold clothes and work on projects while I watch those shows. I feel like I am multi-tasking. I also LOVE to do my abdominal work-outs during the shows as well. (Can't say I don't have time to do it anymore!)
I hope some of the information is useful to you. It's amazing how much time we waste. Figure out where it's going and you will find time to do things you enjoy. With all the things I have to do, I still find time to go out with friends, scrapbook, AND work on this blog. If I can do it, ANYONE can do it!! Try it and see.
*********************************
Time is what prevents everything
from happening at once.
~John Archibald Wheeler
*********************************
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