Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

ODD is a real thing, in case you were wondering. I remember the first time I heard this diagnosis. I thought the doctors were crazy! How are you supposed to raise a child whose first impulse is to be defiant?!! It is truly beyond discouraging. ODD is defined as a condition where a child or teenager has a frequent and persistent pattern of anger, arguing, or defiance towards parents, adults, or any authoritative figure. Can you imagine the adult that could potentially come out of a child with these qualities? My first thought was, "My child is going to end up in jail!" It is such a horrific thought!
First of all, let me tell you that I have two children who have been given this diagnosis and I have survived. You can too! The most important things to remember are consistency, patience, and love. Consistency is key. You must not give them an inch or they will take a yard. If you change the rules or expectations it will just confuse them. Kids with ODD need structure in their lives. This is especially true when dealing with a child who also has autism.
Having patience is a virtue...believe me, I know! However, you must practice it until you almost perfect it. Your child will try your patience every chance he gets. He will know your triggers by your reaction to their actions. The key thing is to remain calm. If you need to go away to another room and take a time out, that's okay. Whatever you do, do NOT let your child see you lose control! That is one of the hardest things for a parent.
Lastly, love your child every chance you get. If you have a teenager and he likes to spend most of his time in his room, then knock on his door once in a while just to say, "I love you." I tried this as an experiment and it had marvelous results! He actually came out a couple times. Now, he will say, "Love you too." Sometimes he will come out and come spend some time with me in the same room! Imagine that! A mother's (or father's) love is a powerful thing. It can break down walls, can heal a broken heart, and can overcome the most unimaginable obstacle.
The reason I chose this topic at this particular time is because I have seen positive changes in my child who is now 15 years old. I know every child is different, but I just wanted to make sure you had hope. I wanted to share that no matter how hard things seem to be right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You do not have to do this alone. Seek help if you feel you need it. Please do not give up! I have spent countless hours on my knees pleading to God, but I have also spent countless hours talking with medical professionals and counsellors. Also remember that you will make mistakes. There is no way around that. You need to just brush it off and learn from those mistakes. That is what makes a good parent. What makes a GREAT parent is one who loves their child unconditionally. All children know when they are loved (even if they do not always show it).