The "A" List

When life gives me lemons, I like to make lemonade. That is why I chose to write my very first novel entitled: The "A" List. It is now available on Amazon and I am so excited! The following is the link to the book and information (copy and paste): http://www.amazon.com/The-A-List-Yahnira-Backus/dp/1460912071/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340587290&sr=1-8&keywords=The+%22A%22+List

The story takes place in the future where autism has reached epidemic proportions. The name is changed to ASP and includes all the autism spectrum including ADHD and other diagnosis used today. The main character, Sarah, is a young lady who has graduated from a research facility called the GRF where babies are raised and nurtured in hopes they can reach their full potential. In this world, parents have to make the very difficult choice of either raising their child or giving it up to the GRF in hopes they can have a future.
The reader follows Sarah as she leaves her safe and nurturing environment and begins her life in the real world. Falling in love, working at her first assignment, and being an advocate for millions of people in the world are among some of the challenges she will have to face.
If you like romance, suspence, and long for a story full of hope and encouragment then I totally recommend this book! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

My Miracle Leaguer

In my town there is a baseball league called The Miracle League. The name says it all! It's truly a miracle and a blessing in my son's life. You see...this league is for children who could not otherwise play baseball. They give everyone an opportunity to play no matter what their handicap may be. My son has Tourette's and has high functioning autism. He also has ADHD. All these factors have unfortunately kept him from playing in the past. Not any more!
Today I witnessed him gain a stronger confidence and have the kind of fun a mother dreams of for her son. He hit the ball the very first time it was pitched to him! I was so proud. He knew that it was a little different, but he never said anything to me. He quietly observed as each person took his/her turn to bat.
There were service dogs and volunteers all over the field. It was such a beautiful sight! The best part was the feeling of acceptance and nonjudgmental attitude. It was so wonderful.
The league goes through adult so that means that he will be able to play for as long as he desires. Perhaps one day he can coach or volunteer. Who knows?
In the meantime I will treasure every moment and smile as he makes new friends. Today it was a boy named DJ who he felt a connection to. They became instant friends. I love that about these kids. It's almost like they are kindred spirits and they know it. If only we all could be that way. What a wonderful world this would be.

Who's Got the PhD?

I have been dealing with doctors, practioners, psychologists, therapists, etc... for many years now. It never ceases to amaze me how laid back they are about autism. Even to this day, I see so many doctors take their time in intervention. Why is that?
Anyone who has a child with special needs knows that the earlier you intervene the better. The outcome is better. There might be special circumstances where this might not make a difference, but for the most part it is true.
The reason for this post is that I am beginning to understand the system a little better. The fact is, parents need to do whatever possible to speed up the process. Testing takes time. Therapy takes time. Diet changes take time. We have to be patient, but we also need to start as soon as possible. There is only a very small window of opportunity when it comes to certain things. I have seen it.
When someone has a vested interest in something they are more likely to take the time to learn more about it. That is why you can speak to anyone who has a child with any kind of medical challenge or disease and they can tell you more than any doctor out there! The best doctors, in my opinion, are those who have children with the same issue you are faced with. They can relate to you better. They have been through it themselves.
I'm not trying to say that there aren't doctors out there who take it upon themselves to continue their education. I know of such doctors and I applaud them. I am just trying to state the fact that parents have a lot to offer. If doctors would take the time to listen and implement suggestions from parents then things might get better.
In the meantime, don't forget that you have been entrusted with a special spirit who relies on you for his/her every need. This is a big burden, but as I always say: You don't have to do it alone!

No Such Thing as Coincidence

One day I was reading the newspaper (something I normally don't do) and found an ad for a job writing for the newspaper. It was a tiny box on the from page and it said, "We are looking for the new face of East Montgomery." I continued reading and it sounded interesting. I remember throwing the newspaper away and telling myself that I would never have time to do anything like that.
Months went by and I saw the same ad once again. This time I decided to keep it. I folded it and put it away to discuss with my husband at a later time. I still wasn't convinced I would have the time to do it, but I was intrigued at the idea. It was something I've always dreamed of doing. I found the time to talk it over and my husband was concerned that having an extra obligation would stress me out. I have to admitnthat I had the same concern.
The ad requested a short description of why I thought I would be the right person for the job. It had to be 100 words or less. I decided to give it a shot. I honestly didn't think I would hear back from them. I was wrong. I received a call from the editor's assistant. She actually called me seconds before we were about to change my cellphone to an upgrade. We held off disconnecting it until my call was over. We agreed on a day and time to meet for my interview. I was so excited! However, at this point I was unaware of the fact that this was a paying job! I was going to an actual job interview!
I showed up to the newspaper building and everyone there was so sweet. They treated me with respect and almost like they were trying to sell ME the job. I listened to the editor describe the job in full detail and my heart beat faster and faster with each passing moment. It was my dream job! I would only have to submit a column once a week and the area I would cover would be my own area! I had lived here long enough to have various contacts and so that would be no problem.
I left the hour-long interview feeling wonderful! I prayed that I would get the job. I was told they still had another applicant. In the meantime I had to submit my first column. The editor gave me the choice of what to write about. I chose to write an introduction to my column. It was very easy for me. I submitted it right away. Unfortunately, my competition wasn't as efficient and I had to wait for them to receive the other before receiving an answer.
My answer came Mother's Day weekend. I received an email congratulating me on getting the job. Evidently they had tried to call and didn't have luck. The editor was so sweet. She wrote that she wanted me to know as soon as possible. It was the best Mother's Day gift I could have received.
It has been over six months now since I got the job and I'm still loving it!! I have learned so much about my community and have made some great contacts. It has also helped me to reach out more. I think it's important to expand our circles and appreciate diversity.
This Thanksgiving holiday I am thankful for all my blessings... Including those that were unexpected.

Finding Time for You

If you find yourself overwhelmed with all of your motherly duties you are not alone. There are just not enough hours in a day to do everything that needs to be done. In the list of priorities mothers often fall last...and that is nobody's fault but our own. I have a few suggestions I have found helpful in my life and perhaps they can give you ideas for your own circumstances.
Count your blessings
You have to mentally prepare for hardships. The best way to do that is to concentrate on your blessings. Changing your mindset to a positive attitude will help you not only feel better, but give you the motivation you need to get it done! This means beginning your day with prayer and/or meditation.
Don't bite off more than you can chew
I mean this literally as well as symbolic. Learn your limits. There are some things you just can't do no matter how hard you try. You might be limited by time, money, or any other factor. It doesn't matter what other people think. In the grand scheme of things YOU are the only one accountable to yourself.
Slow down
Take time to appreciate sweet and precious moments. If you are constantly "on the go" then you are going to miss out on some very special things. This kind of state only makes people sick and stressed out.
Forgive yourself often
Don't let mistakes you make discourage you. Learn from those mistakes. Nobody is perfect and it's about time you realize that. Also, how are you supposed to forgive others if you can't forgive yourself? The fact is you can't move forward and progress without giving yourself a clean slate.
Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others
This is pretty straight forward. If you eat healthy, then your family is more likely to eat healthy. If you live an active lifestyle instead of being a couch potato then your family is more likely to do the same. If mommy is happy, then the rest of the family is happy. Just remember that when you take care of yourself the return on that investment will yield more than you can imagine.

I am a busy mother of four very active children. People often ask me how I find time to write, crochet, and do many of the things I enjoy. Well, it's not easy but I just tell myself that I have the choice. I can choose to waste and squander my time, or I can choose to do productive and satisfying things. You have the same choice. Take note of how you use your time during a typical day....continue for a week....you will be amazed at how much time you actually have.
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If you were given one
extra hour each day,
how would you use it?
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It's Okay to Cry

I felt the need to write this post after speaking to a few friends in recent months. It seems like mothers have so much on their plate sometimes that they feel overwhelmed and alone. I want to set the record straight. There is no such thing as the perfect mother. We ALL make mistakes. It's completely NORMAL to feel inadequate and depressed at times. It's also okay to cry. I think crying can be very therapeutic. It's not a good idea to keep feelings bottled up because sooner or later, they will explode out! Acknowledge your feelings and share them with those closest to you.
I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I've dealt enough with them to know that most of the time what people need is a listening ear. That is the best therapy in the world. I am blessed to have my mother and my bestest friends who I can call and share those feelings with. They don't judge me and they listen without feeling like they have to have a solution. Most of the time there is no solution. The problems I face have been around since the beginning of time and I know that I will one day look back and realize they were not as critical as I thought. I can already see things getting easier in areas I thought would never improve. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't have days I literally cry myself to sleep. However, it helps knowing how far we've come.
Please know that in the grand scheme of things what's important is what you have taught your children. They have their free agency to choose for themselves the path their lives take. It's our role to provide them with options. It's our duty to love them unconditionally and to guide them. Beyond that, it's not important what others think or if your child doesn't fit that "mold" that society has created. Don't give up on yourself or your children. Cry a little and laugh a little...that's what will keep you sane.

Meeting Temple Grandin was Grand!

I had the opportunity of meeting one of my heroes. Her name is Temple Grandin. People who have autism or live in that world know that name very well. She is an advocate, educator, and a true inspiration! HBO had a special movie entitled, "Thinking in Pictures" which was based on her book. It was amazing. Her life story is one of hope and determination.
She was a guest speaker at Auburn University main campus and I found out about it through a friend. I went with a group of ladies who all have children in the autism spectrum. We had a blast! The experience of just driving there and talking candidly about autism was an experience in itself. When we arrived, the place was already packed with people. We didn't have a seat to sit on, so we found a spot on the ground. We sat alongside many college students who were there to hear her speak about livestock science.
When Temple came out, everyone stood and clapped. It was a warm welcome. She spoke right away about her autism and gave a brief history of her past. She then talked about how animals think and correlated it to autism and how people with autism think. I thought her presentation was very informative. However, beyond that I feel that her spirit and enthusiasm was contagious. She joked around a few times and I appreciated her dry sense of humor at times. Her appearance was exactly what I expected. She was wearing her western long-sleeved shirt with matching pants and buckle. She had some good visuals while she talked to explain some of the concepts. I think you could hear a pin drop while she spoke. It was all very interesting.
When she concluded her talk, she opened the floor for questions. There were questions about autism and livestock. Someone asked her about medication. She admitted that she took medication for anxiety and that it was sometimes helpful for people with autism. She explained that there is a lot of stimulus in the environment that we take for granted. For example, she mentioned how hallogen lights are the worst thing in school. She said the buzzing alone is enough to drive someone mad. She also touched on the subject of dyslexia. I thought she gave some very useful advice on the topic. She mentioned that changing the screen color to pink, for example, can help.
She answered questions for a great amount of time and then they announced that she would be staying to visit with everyone. My group was so excited! One of our ladies had brought a book for her to sign and she was hoping she'd have the opportunity.
Temple stayed for over an hour signing autographs, taking pictures, and even answering MORE questions. I thought she was wonderful. We found out she had given talk that morning and that she'd be back the next morning. However, she didn't mind staying at all. At her age I thought it was quite impressive.
I got my picture taken with her and we also got a group picture. Once I figure out how to post pics, I will do it. I think meeting Temple will always hold a special place in my heart. It was more than meeting someone I admired and looked up to. It was also a moment where I felt a connection with so many people I didn't even know. It felt like I was in the midst of family and friends. That is something that is truly priceless. I will never forget that day.