This post is to help relieve some of the paranoia associated with speech delay. Just because your child is delayed in speech, it does not mean that they are either mentally retarded or that they have autism.
Everyone is familiar with the story of Albert Einstein. He had speech delays and problems as a child. He also almost flunked out of school because he was interested in only math and not the other subjects. It's important to put things in perspective. You have to look at the entire child and not just one aspect. The biggest issue I have with some parents and society as a whole is that they expect kids to excel in ALL areas. This is an unfair expectation. Not all of us excel at everything. It's part of what makes this world an interesting place.
When my oldest was three and still could not speak in sentences I was so worried. He barely could communicate and it was so frustrating. I ended up taking him to a Speech Therapy clinic and paid a LOT of money. Unfortunately, I did not know about Early Intervention Services and so I missed out on the opportunity. It is so important to find out what is available in your area. There are numerous services available and usually it is not only for low-income families.
Let me explain what speech therapy is all about. Many people are under the impression that it is only about sounds and being able to physically talk. However, this is only a small part of it. In speech therapy they teach how to communicate. They teach concepts and how to follow directions. Depending on the age of the child, they work on their weaknesses and help develop the confidence needed for success in school. If they are a good speech therapist you will find that they will also teach you things you can do at home to help your child. They are full of information and tips that can supplement the sessions. Some of the tips I was given were: 1) make your child at least attempt to speak before giving them what they want, 2) praise your child if they make ANY attempt to talk, 3) at a young age you can teach them sign language and animal sounds, 4) use descriptive words and don't use "baby talk" when speaking to your child. Those were just a handful of suggestions I received. Don't be afraid to test you child. It's better to know and the earlier the better.
What are the warning signs that you should look out for? How do you know if they are just "late bloomers" or if they truly have a problem. The biggest indicator for me was the "frustration meter". If a child is getting frustrated and anxious because they can't communicate then you need to take action. Sometimes it is so hard to tell the difference between a child who is just stubborn or lazy and doesn't want to talk, versus a child who truly cannot communicate their needs or wants. I was hoping with each of my children that they would somehow catch up on their own and that I wouldn't need to intervene. However, my oldest three required intervention and they all were ready by the time they entered school.
I am struggling right now with my two year old because he is so stubborn. Of course, since all my children have required speech therapy, I almost expect him to need it too. I wish I knew what to do. I just don't want to be paranoid and not to mention that the process is something that takes a lot of time and effort. One of the hardest things for me is that he is so far advanced compared to my other three kids. He has been tested for milestones (which includes speech) at his school and they said he is doing great. My gut tells me that he is fine, but my mind keeps worrying. This is when I am reminded about how healing this blog is for me. I don't pretend to know all the answers. I just hope to share my journey with you, and if our roads meet at some points along the way then we can compare notes.
Keeping a watchful eye on your child's development is crucial. It is also a good thing to have others help you in the process. Sometimes other people, especially teachers, might notice something that you had not thought of. So far, I have not noticed my two year-old to be delayed enough to have him tested. I just know (from experience) that he wouldn't qualify for the Early Intervention Program because he is not delayed enough. They recently lowered the standards (which is definitely not a good thing). He has a great vocabulary (too many words to count)and he can follow directions. He also is doing great at school and so that reassures me that he is doing okay for now. At his school they test for developmental milestones and he has either met or exceeded all areas. I continue to track his progress through checklists and milestone information. This is a great one I found recently and it's in PDF format so you can print it off if you'd like: http://www.deforest.k12.wi.us/files/EPES%20PDFs/Sue%20Miller%20pdfs/SLP_Brochure_small.pdf
Keep in mind that the sites that are geared towards advertising for speech therapy services will have more stringent and expanded lists. It's been my experience that the simpler the list, the better to keep track of. I will definitely keep you updated on my baby's progress as time goes on.
It's important to know the warning signs to look out for. Some of the warning signs that I noticed with my own children were: they cannot follow simple directions, they seem as if they don't hear you, they don't respond to their name being called, they don't know the names of members of their family, their vocabulary is very low or else they just repeat words when they hear them,they have problems playing with kids their age because of the communication deficit, and lastly you (the parent) cannot understand your child most of the time. That last one is a big tip-off. If YOU can't understand your child, then you know that others cannot understand him. That is crucial in school, social settings, and life in general.
Speech delay often leads to social delays. That is why I wanted to post this. A lot of parents worry about autism at this point. There are many factors that you have to look at in order to consider autism. It's not just a simple speech deficit. If only it were that easy! Think about this... if you cannot communicate then you can't learn to share, make friends, take turns, or learn vital social skills. If left untreated, a child who can't communicate will often suffer from depression, low self-esteem, and have many other problems. It's a vicious cycle. My advice is to get your child tested if you suspect they have speech delays. One thing I have been advised to do is check their hearing as well. Sometimes they might have fluid in the ear and that could muffle sounds and make it difficult for them to hear. Also, there are numerous websites that offer screening tools for parents. Here is a good one I found (just click on the appropriate age): http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/speechandlanguage.asp#mychild
Believe me, I understand your concern when it comes to testing and such. I also know the stress involved in having to take your child and the hours of waiting and dealing with siblings. It's just better to know and have the reassurance. I've had people ask me, "how do you know that they wouldn't have just learned to speak eventually anyway?" Well... my answer is that I DON'T know for sure, but I DO know that if it weren't for speech therapy I wouldn't have found out my daughter had Wilson's Disease and that my #2 had PDD. That in itself was worth all the trouble for me.
***************************************
Without communication we wouldn't have
love. Without love we wouldn't have
humanity. Without humanity we wouldn't
have life, but rather a simple existence
built upon needs and wants alone.
***************************************
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Nontraditional Mommy Answers
There's a difference between traditional thought, medicine, and just good old fashioned common sense. How many of us still believe that you can scare someone out of having hiccups? How many of us have put our crying babies on top of a dryer to soothe them? These are definitely things that aren't taught in medical school, but as mothers we just know they work. I thought it would be fun to share some of the things that have worked for me and others. If any of you have other ideas.... please share away!!
When my oldest was a newborn he had difficulty getting to sleep at night. In retrospect I think he got days and nights mixed up. He would sleep most of the day and then want to stay up during the night. When I had reached a point where I could not stand it anymore, one of my friends suggested that I take him out for a ride. She claimed that it worked for her baby every time. I was desperate for sleep, so I begged my dear husband to take the baby out for a "ride" at around 10:30pm. He obliged. When he came back my baby was sound asleep. I dared not move him. So... I did what any sleep-deprived rational mother would do... I left him in the car seat. He slept the entire night!!
At the time my oldest was born, it was standard practice to lay the babies on their backs. It was supposed to help prevent SIDS. Since it was my first baby, I was very paranoid about this. The only time I would place him on his tummy was when we played during the day. I started noticing that he not only had a bald spot on the back of his head, but his head was flattened. I freaked out and took him to the doctor. I was worried that he would have brain damage or something. The doctor laughed and told me that there was an epidemic of flat heads because they lay on their backs and the skull is still so soft at this point. He told me not to worry and reassured me that his head would be okay. However, I have to admit that he looked so weird and I was still worried. At about this time, he started to roll over in the crib. That kept me busy. I would roll him back and he would roll over to his tummy while sleeping. One day my mother came to visit and she told me, "why don't you just let him sleep on his tummy?" I immediately explained how sleeping on his back would prevent SIDS and that the doctor told me not to worry about the flat head. She explained that every few years they change things. When I was born my mom was told to put me on my tummy because they were afraid of babies choking on their vomit. Then it changed to the side because they worried about blankets covering the face. When I got to thinking about it, I realized how silly it was. I started to let my baby stay on his tummy if he rolled over and he not only slept better, but his flat head went away. (Thanks mom!!)
Teething is always such a hard time for moms. I remember how bad ALL my children teethed and how long it seemed to last. Unfortunately, the things doctors tell you to do don't always work. I was always told to use cold teething rings. It was supposed to help relieve the pain. However, that seemed to make things worse for my babies. They would suck and then start to scream. I imagine they probably weren't expecting the cold sensation. One of the quickest and easiest solutions for me was homeopathic solutions. I purchased these little pellets (my mom used them with me) at Wal-Mart and they worked! They have numerous brands and I am not sure which kind they have available these days, but I am sure there are probably even more now. Also, I have already mentioned how one of my friends gave me some chamomile capsules that you just squirt into the baby's mouth. It's liquid and they just swallow it. It helped my baby calm down. Since then, I have found numerous products at our herb shop. Just be savvy and make sure to look at the active ingredients. Just because it's sold at an herb shop doesn't mean it's completely safe.
All of my babies slept through the night at an early age. It wasn't any trick I did or herb I gave them. I basically put them in their own bed by the time they were two months. My only exception was my #4 because we had problems with his feeding when he was born and he ended up in the hospital. It took a while for us to get into a normal routine, and I ended up leaving him in my room for a little longer due to the crazy feeding schedule we had to do. I learned that sometimes babies just wake up in the middle of the night and it's completely normal. They aren't hungry or wet. If you wait a while (at least a few minutes) they will usually calm themselves down and go back to sleep. That is a good thing. If they continued to cry then I would go and either pick them up and hold them and love on them, or I would just pat them on the bottom and rub their back. After a while, my visits became less and less frequent until they learned to calm themselves down. I know a lot of friends who like their babies to stay in the room while they are nursing. I understand the dilemma. It IS a pain having to get out of bed and nurse. However, you would be surprised how much better you and the baby will sleep given the chance. (Of course, this advice is only for those who wish for their babies to sleep through the night. If you do fine with the baby in bed with you and/or beside you in a co-sleeper then my hat goes off to you!!)
The last issue I want to talk about is when do you know your baby is sick? When I was a new mom I took my baby in for EVERYTHING!! I think most new moms do. Now that I have four kids, I only take them if they have had stomach issues for more than a couple days, fever that persists and/or won't go down, green drainage coming out of nose, and respiratory issues such as pneumonia and bronchitis (characterized by wheezing and/or coughing). Everything else pretty much has a solution that can be done at home. Every new mom should invest in a humidifier!! They are wonderful. They help in the wintertime when the air is dry and during the hot summer months when allergies are rampant. Another thing that I find useful is gingerale. This is perfect for when your child is nauseous, feeling weak, or if you are worried about dehydration. Chicken noodle soup is also a great "medicine" and they have actually done studies on it. You know what they say, "starve a fever, feed a cold"... that pretty much sums it up. Sometimes kids just need to lay down and get rest. If you pump them up with tylenol then they will think they are better and they won't let their bodies heal. They will overdo it and then take longer to get well. If your child is running a low-grade fever there are many options. They don't recommend doing alcohol anymore and for good reason. However, I still believe in giving baths (not too cold) and undressing them if necessary. Those are some things that have worked for me.
I hope some of you will find something useful. I hope to hear from you all with more ideas. I wish I knew how to do a "topic link" so that people can post ideas for everyone to see. I am still new at this blogging thing... Perhaps one day I will figure it out.
************************************
Wisdom is knowing that truth can be
relative.
************************************
When my oldest was a newborn he had difficulty getting to sleep at night. In retrospect I think he got days and nights mixed up. He would sleep most of the day and then want to stay up during the night. When I had reached a point where I could not stand it anymore, one of my friends suggested that I take him out for a ride. She claimed that it worked for her baby every time. I was desperate for sleep, so I begged my dear husband to take the baby out for a "ride" at around 10:30pm. He obliged. When he came back my baby was sound asleep. I dared not move him. So... I did what any sleep-deprived rational mother would do... I left him in the car seat. He slept the entire night!!
At the time my oldest was born, it was standard practice to lay the babies on their backs. It was supposed to help prevent SIDS. Since it was my first baby, I was very paranoid about this. The only time I would place him on his tummy was when we played during the day. I started noticing that he not only had a bald spot on the back of his head, but his head was flattened. I freaked out and took him to the doctor. I was worried that he would have brain damage or something. The doctor laughed and told me that there was an epidemic of flat heads because they lay on their backs and the skull is still so soft at this point. He told me not to worry and reassured me that his head would be okay. However, I have to admit that he looked so weird and I was still worried. At about this time, he started to roll over in the crib. That kept me busy. I would roll him back and he would roll over to his tummy while sleeping. One day my mother came to visit and she told me, "why don't you just let him sleep on his tummy?" I immediately explained how sleeping on his back would prevent SIDS and that the doctor told me not to worry about the flat head. She explained that every few years they change things. When I was born my mom was told to put me on my tummy because they were afraid of babies choking on their vomit. Then it changed to the side because they worried about blankets covering the face. When I got to thinking about it, I realized how silly it was. I started to let my baby stay on his tummy if he rolled over and he not only slept better, but his flat head went away. (Thanks mom!!)
Teething is always such a hard time for moms. I remember how bad ALL my children teethed and how long it seemed to last. Unfortunately, the things doctors tell you to do don't always work. I was always told to use cold teething rings. It was supposed to help relieve the pain. However, that seemed to make things worse for my babies. They would suck and then start to scream. I imagine they probably weren't expecting the cold sensation. One of the quickest and easiest solutions for me was homeopathic solutions. I purchased these little pellets (my mom used them with me) at Wal-Mart and they worked! They have numerous brands and I am not sure which kind they have available these days, but I am sure there are probably even more now. Also, I have already mentioned how one of my friends gave me some chamomile capsules that you just squirt into the baby's mouth. It's liquid and they just swallow it. It helped my baby calm down. Since then, I have found numerous products at our herb shop. Just be savvy and make sure to look at the active ingredients. Just because it's sold at an herb shop doesn't mean it's completely safe.
All of my babies slept through the night at an early age. It wasn't any trick I did or herb I gave them. I basically put them in their own bed by the time they were two months. My only exception was my #4 because we had problems with his feeding when he was born and he ended up in the hospital. It took a while for us to get into a normal routine, and I ended up leaving him in my room for a little longer due to the crazy feeding schedule we had to do. I learned that sometimes babies just wake up in the middle of the night and it's completely normal. They aren't hungry or wet. If you wait a while (at least a few minutes) they will usually calm themselves down and go back to sleep. That is a good thing. If they continued to cry then I would go and either pick them up and hold them and love on them, or I would just pat them on the bottom and rub their back. After a while, my visits became less and less frequent until they learned to calm themselves down. I know a lot of friends who like their babies to stay in the room while they are nursing. I understand the dilemma. It IS a pain having to get out of bed and nurse. However, you would be surprised how much better you and the baby will sleep given the chance. (Of course, this advice is only for those who wish for their babies to sleep through the night. If you do fine with the baby in bed with you and/or beside you in a co-sleeper then my hat goes off to you!!)
The last issue I want to talk about is when do you know your baby is sick? When I was a new mom I took my baby in for EVERYTHING!! I think most new moms do. Now that I have four kids, I only take them if they have had stomach issues for more than a couple days, fever that persists and/or won't go down, green drainage coming out of nose, and respiratory issues such as pneumonia and bronchitis (characterized by wheezing and/or coughing). Everything else pretty much has a solution that can be done at home. Every new mom should invest in a humidifier!! They are wonderful. They help in the wintertime when the air is dry and during the hot summer months when allergies are rampant. Another thing that I find useful is gingerale. This is perfect for when your child is nauseous, feeling weak, or if you are worried about dehydration. Chicken noodle soup is also a great "medicine" and they have actually done studies on it. You know what they say, "starve a fever, feed a cold"... that pretty much sums it up. Sometimes kids just need to lay down and get rest. If you pump them up with tylenol then they will think they are better and they won't let their bodies heal. They will overdo it and then take longer to get well. If your child is running a low-grade fever there are many options. They don't recommend doing alcohol anymore and for good reason. However, I still believe in giving baths (not too cold) and undressing them if necessary. Those are some things that have worked for me.
I hope some of you will find something useful. I hope to hear from you all with more ideas. I wish I knew how to do a "topic link" so that people can post ideas for everyone to see. I am still new at this blogging thing... Perhaps one day I will figure it out.
************************************
Wisdom is knowing that truth can be
relative.
************************************
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Vaccine Dilemma: Prepare From the Start
I looked up the definition of "dilemma" and found it to mean: a situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives. I thought it was the perfect adjective to describe the choice parents have to make concerning vaccines. Do we vaccinate and pray that our child has no adverse reaction or even die ..... or do we choose not to vaccinate and pray that our child does not end up with a horrible disease? Hmmm? However, I have learned that there IS another alternative.
My heart goes out to new mothers who have to make that decision. They are often made to feel ignorant and selfish when trying to voice their opinions or concerns. It goes farther than the vaccine issue. I know from experience that there is STILL opposition in breastfeeding among the medical community. There are some doctors that insist on a new mother (who is exhausted and is struggling) to bring their baby to the office every week and have a weight check "just to make sure" that the baby is getting enough milk when the mom has decided to breastfeed. At the hospital some nurses are not as supportive as they should. I remember when I had my first baby they gave me a "nursing support" diaper bag with FORMULA inside "just in case" I needed it!!! Anyone who has nursed knows that there are times in the beginning when you just beg for a bottle just once. However, chances are that if you give the baby a bottle then you will likely do it again....then you will likely mess up your milk supply (unless you are seasoned and know how to do it properly). It's not exactly what a new mother needs for "support".
What prompted me to write this post was numerous friends and acquaintances who are either pregnant or have newborn babies have approached me about this subject. They just don't know how to stand up to doctors. I wish I could go to the office with them. It just takes a couple times and you learn how to deal with their looks of disapproval and words of disdain. I have to warn you that you will feel like dirt the first time you try to "discuss" vaccines with your pediatrician. They will give you all kinds of statistics and say that there is no evidence that vaccines cause injury. However, when you bring your child in to be vaccinated they won't hesitate to pull out the release form for you to sign basically stating that they are released from all liability resulting from the vaccine....and they can't guarantee nothing will happen...AND basically they can't be sued if something does. You would have to rely on the "vaccine compensation" program and it's there for that purpose.
Let's discuss the vaccine compensation program for a second. Theoretically it's there for parents in case there is an adverse reaction after a vaccine is administered. If your child has a reaction immediately following the vaccine then your case is probably easier to prove. However, if you don't notice the reaction or if it's not reported within their two-month "window" then it will probably be a lot harder to prove. You will also have to have documentation of any "reaction" or else they will say you haven't proved any "damages" and you're out of luck. Don't count on the doctor to help you either. They will likely not remember and if it's not in their records then there is nothing they can do. I have already discussed the things you must look out for in a previous post so I urge you to read it if you haven't already. It's entitled: "What do I Really Think About Vaccines" and it was posted on Sept. 26th.
Most parents are under the impression that they either have to vaccinate according to schedule or not vaccinate at all. That is not the case. The laws vary from state to state, but if you can get a Religious/Philosophical Exemption then that is your best bet. You can write down which vaccines you don't want your child to get and it doesn't have to be an all or none proposition. It will also protect you against any other vaccines that might come up in the future. Right now the HPV Vaccine is one that is very controversial and I am sure many more will follow.
I have also discussed vaccinating on a different schedule than the CDC suggests. Let me explain to you why the CDC suggests the current mandated schedule. There is a lot of money invested in vaccines. However, there is also another dilemma. The government wants to make sure that low-income families and those that are more prone to drug abuse or neglect are covered. That is why Hepatitis B vaccine is administered to newborn babies, for example. The government knows that the majority of American mothers are not going to have Hepatitis B, but because there are those FEW people that might then they want to make sure that the vaccine is covered under the Federal guidelines and keep babies from being affected. The irony of it all though is that we are potentially harming millions of babies in order to "protect" the minority. Since the government can't "discriminate" then they have to mandate it. Does that make sense to you?
Another example is the flu shot. I was shocked when I read that in children five and younger the flu shot did not reduce the numbers of hospitalizations. This is according to the CDC!!! So why are pediatricians pushing for it? Makes no senses to me. Read more about it: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_70107.html
Parents need to question the need for certain vaccines and the timing for sure. Why do twelve year-old girls need the HPV vaccine? Because in low-income families and minority groups there is a higher incidence of teenage pregnancy and sex. I heard a doctor say once on television that the government has to mandate certain vaccines so that it can be available to low-income families. In other words, so that they can go to the County Health Department and have tax dollars pay for their vaccines. That's it in a nutshell.
This is a wonderful website that is full of information on vaccines and VAERS and anything else you can think of. http://www.909shot.com/Issues/Intro_Message.htm I urge you to visit it. I found answers to a lot of questions. It can give you the ammunition you need to face doctors.
If you are pregnant then begin by making a labor plan that includes what vaccines, if any, you want your child to receive. I personally did not give my newborn a Hepatitis B shot and I made sure that they knew. I had my husband follow our baby after he was born, and we prevented the nurse from "accidentally" giving it to my baby. Another thing you might want to do is discuss your wishes with your baby's pediatrician. It's important that the doctor knows your beliefs and that they are respected. Throughout your pregnancy you were careful about what you ate, medicines you took, and what toxins you were exposed to... right? Well, this is just a continuation of that same care you took. Would you feed your newborn baby tap water not knowing what it's in it? Well...would you inject anything into your baby without knowing what is in it? Here is a good link showing all the things in vaccines: http://www.fda.gov/CBER/vaccine/thimerosal.htm It's from the FDA themselves. I did not make this up! (It is truly unbelievable the stuff they put in vaccines.)
After your child is born, the pediatrician will try to urge you to start vaccinating right away. I urge you to consider waiting at least a couple months. If you are breastfeeding then you can wait longer. Your breast milk will have all the antibodies and nutrients your baby needs. When you decide to start vaccinating, then work out a schedule that you feel comfortable with. I would advice starting with just one vaccine at a time. If you have a reaction there is no way you can know what caused it if you had multiple shots given. It could be as simple as an allergy to eggs for example, but how would you know?
Now...the following is based purely on MY theory and thought process, and I have no link(s) to back it up. I think that the most critical time is when the brain is developing. Much of the brain development occurs the first three years of a child's life and therefore are very important. That is when you should try and limit the amount of toxins and allergens they are exposed to. If your child is not going to be in a daycare environment or preschool then you really have more options. It's important that you prepare yourself mentally as well as physically for whatever decision you make. It helps to prepare from the very start. Write it down if you have to, discuss it with your spouse, and come prepared when approaching the subject with your pediatrician.
I wish you all the very best and hope that my information will help you. It's just a difficult subject for me to talk about because I often get angry. I have learned to remain focused and put my children first. That has given me more courage and conviction than anything else in the world.
**************************************
Courage comes from a place deep inside
the soul. It's locked away until you
find the key that unlocks that door.
**************************************
My heart goes out to new mothers who have to make that decision. They are often made to feel ignorant and selfish when trying to voice their opinions or concerns. It goes farther than the vaccine issue. I know from experience that there is STILL opposition in breastfeeding among the medical community. There are some doctors that insist on a new mother (who is exhausted and is struggling) to bring their baby to the office every week and have a weight check "just to make sure" that the baby is getting enough milk when the mom has decided to breastfeed. At the hospital some nurses are not as supportive as they should. I remember when I had my first baby they gave me a "nursing support" diaper bag with FORMULA inside "just in case" I needed it!!! Anyone who has nursed knows that there are times in the beginning when you just beg for a bottle just once. However, chances are that if you give the baby a bottle then you will likely do it again....then you will likely mess up your milk supply (unless you are seasoned and know how to do it properly). It's not exactly what a new mother needs for "support".
What prompted me to write this post was numerous friends and acquaintances who are either pregnant or have newborn babies have approached me about this subject. They just don't know how to stand up to doctors. I wish I could go to the office with them. It just takes a couple times and you learn how to deal with their looks of disapproval and words of disdain. I have to warn you that you will feel like dirt the first time you try to "discuss" vaccines with your pediatrician. They will give you all kinds of statistics and say that there is no evidence that vaccines cause injury. However, when you bring your child in to be vaccinated they won't hesitate to pull out the release form for you to sign basically stating that they are released from all liability resulting from the vaccine....and they can't guarantee nothing will happen...AND basically they can't be sued if something does. You would have to rely on the "vaccine compensation" program and it's there for that purpose.
Let's discuss the vaccine compensation program for a second. Theoretically it's there for parents in case there is an adverse reaction after a vaccine is administered. If your child has a reaction immediately following the vaccine then your case is probably easier to prove. However, if you don't notice the reaction or if it's not reported within their two-month "window" then it will probably be a lot harder to prove. You will also have to have documentation of any "reaction" or else they will say you haven't proved any "damages" and you're out of luck. Don't count on the doctor to help you either. They will likely not remember and if it's not in their records then there is nothing they can do. I have already discussed the things you must look out for in a previous post so I urge you to read it if you haven't already. It's entitled: "What do I Really Think About Vaccines" and it was posted on Sept. 26th.
Most parents are under the impression that they either have to vaccinate according to schedule or not vaccinate at all. That is not the case. The laws vary from state to state, but if you can get a Religious/Philosophical Exemption then that is your best bet. You can write down which vaccines you don't want your child to get and it doesn't have to be an all or none proposition. It will also protect you against any other vaccines that might come up in the future. Right now the HPV Vaccine is one that is very controversial and I am sure many more will follow.
I have also discussed vaccinating on a different schedule than the CDC suggests. Let me explain to you why the CDC suggests the current mandated schedule. There is a lot of money invested in vaccines. However, there is also another dilemma. The government wants to make sure that low-income families and those that are more prone to drug abuse or neglect are covered. That is why Hepatitis B vaccine is administered to newborn babies, for example. The government knows that the majority of American mothers are not going to have Hepatitis B, but because there are those FEW people that might then they want to make sure that the vaccine is covered under the Federal guidelines and keep babies from being affected. The irony of it all though is that we are potentially harming millions of babies in order to "protect" the minority. Since the government can't "discriminate" then they have to mandate it. Does that make sense to you?
Another example is the flu shot. I was shocked when I read that in children five and younger the flu shot did not reduce the numbers of hospitalizations. This is according to the CDC!!! So why are pediatricians pushing for it? Makes no senses to me. Read more about it: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_70107.html
Parents need to question the need for certain vaccines and the timing for sure. Why do twelve year-old girls need the HPV vaccine? Because in low-income families and minority groups there is a higher incidence of teenage pregnancy and sex. I heard a doctor say once on television that the government has to mandate certain vaccines so that it can be available to low-income families. In other words, so that they can go to the County Health Department and have tax dollars pay for their vaccines. That's it in a nutshell.
This is a wonderful website that is full of information on vaccines and VAERS and anything else you can think of. http://www.909shot.com/Issues/Intro_Message.htm I urge you to visit it. I found answers to a lot of questions. It can give you the ammunition you need to face doctors.
If you are pregnant then begin by making a labor plan that includes what vaccines, if any, you want your child to receive. I personally did not give my newborn a Hepatitis B shot and I made sure that they knew. I had my husband follow our baby after he was born, and we prevented the nurse from "accidentally" giving it to my baby. Another thing you might want to do is discuss your wishes with your baby's pediatrician. It's important that the doctor knows your beliefs and that they are respected. Throughout your pregnancy you were careful about what you ate, medicines you took, and what toxins you were exposed to... right? Well, this is just a continuation of that same care you took. Would you feed your newborn baby tap water not knowing what it's in it? Well...would you inject anything into your baby without knowing what is in it? Here is a good link showing all the things in vaccines: http://www.fda.gov/CBER/vaccine/thimerosal.htm It's from the FDA themselves. I did not make this up! (It is truly unbelievable the stuff they put in vaccines.)
After your child is born, the pediatrician will try to urge you to start vaccinating right away. I urge you to consider waiting at least a couple months. If you are breastfeeding then you can wait longer. Your breast milk will have all the antibodies and nutrients your baby needs. When you decide to start vaccinating, then work out a schedule that you feel comfortable with. I would advice starting with just one vaccine at a time. If you have a reaction there is no way you can know what caused it if you had multiple shots given. It could be as simple as an allergy to eggs for example, but how would you know?
Now...the following is based purely on MY theory and thought process, and I have no link(s) to back it up. I think that the most critical time is when the brain is developing. Much of the brain development occurs the first three years of a child's life and therefore are very important. That is when you should try and limit the amount of toxins and allergens they are exposed to. If your child is not going to be in a daycare environment or preschool then you really have more options. It's important that you prepare yourself mentally as well as physically for whatever decision you make. It helps to prepare from the very start. Write it down if you have to, discuss it with your spouse, and come prepared when approaching the subject with your pediatrician.
I wish you all the very best and hope that my information will help you. It's just a difficult subject for me to talk about because I often get angry. I have learned to remain focused and put my children first. That has given me more courage and conviction than anything else in the world.
**************************************
Courage comes from a place deep inside
the soul. It's locked away until you
find the key that unlocks that door.
**************************************
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Most Important Meal of the Day
We can go without lunch... We can go without dinner..... But heaven help us if we skip breakfast!! It is the most important meal of the day and it usually determines what kind of day we will have. When you have children with autism or ADHD it is critical that they get a healthy breakfast. I've had some requests for quick and easy ideas for breakfast and I thought I would post that now.
My most favorite thing to make is eggs. I have discovered an easy way of making them. All I do is take one egg and scramble it in a microwave-safe bowl. I then sprinkle whatever I like on top. Some suggestions are: REAL bacon bits, cheese, shredded or chopped-up ham, and left-over taco meat (trust me... it's good). You then microwave it for one minute and you have an instant omelet. I sometimes fold it over and top with salsa. It's definitely quick and easy.
My next favorite thing is pancakes. I make large batches and freeze them and put them in Ziploc bags. All you have to do is pop them in the microwave for a few seconds and you've got breakfast! You can add anything to them. I have even added fiber to them. You don't have to use sugary syrup either. If you are concerned about sugar intake then top them with preserves or apple butter. You can also make them into sandwiches. My oldest loves the McGriddle sandwiches from McDonald's and you can make your own at home. Also, there are low sugar syrups out there and they come in a variety of flavors.
Another thing we love to eat is oatmeal. I usually don't bother buying the packets. I make my own. You can make it with milk instead of water to make it creamier. I love to add cinnamon to mine and it's so good for you. There have been studies that show that just 1/2 a tsp. of cinnamon can lower your cholesterol and even help with regulating blood sugar in people with type 2 diabetes. (This is my source: http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/10-health-benefits-of-cinnamon.html) One thing I used to do for one of my kids was put the oatmeal in a blender with a little bit of milk before cooking it. That will change the consistency to a creamier texture and you can even feed it to a baby that usually gags on it. My youngest loved it that way!
In the South we eat something called grits. It's basically a type of cooked coarsely ground cornmeal. We love to add cheese to ours. It's nice and salty and my kids all love it. They also sell them in various flavors and I love to try them out. My favorite is the cheddar cheese flavored kind. My kids love to eat them with eggs in the morning.
My kids LOVE to eat egg in a nest. It's basically a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle and you fry the egg inside on a skillet. You can make these ahead of time as well and freeze them. However, they don't take too long to make so I usually don't do that. Another thing along this line is french toast sticks. I dip wheat bread in egg that has been scrambled and has cinnamon sugar in it(coating both sides) and then just fry it up in a pan with butter. I sometimes sprinkle more cinnamon sugar once it's done. Then I cut the slice into four strips and give them different sauces such as syrup, preserves, cheese, or anything else to dip them in.
Of course, there is always the bacon, sausage patties, and links. I try not to feed them these things too often. My neurologist told me that nitrites and the preservatives in these things are not the best thing for brain development. We will have these usually when we are on vacation or if we go somewhere out to eat for breakfast. You CAN find some healthy alternatives out there such as Turkey bacon and sausage made of higher quality ingredients.
I hope this helped some of you. Maybe some of my ideas will inspire other ideas for you. It's hard when you have a child that has allergies or sensitivities. Trust me... I know. However, there are a lot of options out there for us. My daughter can't have chocolate, but we get carob for her. Also, if your child is allergic to eggs that can be a challenge but it's not impossible to substitute. I found this neat article online: http://vegetarian.about.com/od/vegetarianvegan101/f/eggsubstitute.htm (It discusses how you can replace eggs in recipes.) Hope this helps!
*************************************
Today's the day to try something new!
*************************************
My most favorite thing to make is eggs. I have discovered an easy way of making them. All I do is take one egg and scramble it in a microwave-safe bowl. I then sprinkle whatever I like on top. Some suggestions are: REAL bacon bits, cheese, shredded or chopped-up ham, and left-over taco meat (trust me... it's good). You then microwave it for one minute and you have an instant omelet. I sometimes fold it over and top with salsa. It's definitely quick and easy.
My next favorite thing is pancakes. I make large batches and freeze them and put them in Ziploc bags. All you have to do is pop them in the microwave for a few seconds and you've got breakfast! You can add anything to them. I have even added fiber to them. You don't have to use sugary syrup either. If you are concerned about sugar intake then top them with preserves or apple butter. You can also make them into sandwiches. My oldest loves the McGriddle sandwiches from McDonald's and you can make your own at home. Also, there are low sugar syrups out there and they come in a variety of flavors.
Another thing we love to eat is oatmeal. I usually don't bother buying the packets. I make my own. You can make it with milk instead of water to make it creamier. I love to add cinnamon to mine and it's so good for you. There have been studies that show that just 1/2 a tsp. of cinnamon can lower your cholesterol and even help with regulating blood sugar in people with type 2 diabetes. (This is my source: http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/10-health-benefits-of-cinnamon.html) One thing I used to do for one of my kids was put the oatmeal in a blender with a little bit of milk before cooking it. That will change the consistency to a creamier texture and you can even feed it to a baby that usually gags on it. My youngest loved it that way!
In the South we eat something called grits. It's basically a type of cooked coarsely ground cornmeal. We love to add cheese to ours. It's nice and salty and my kids all love it. They also sell them in various flavors and I love to try them out. My favorite is the cheddar cheese flavored kind. My kids love to eat them with eggs in the morning.
My kids LOVE to eat egg in a nest. It's basically a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle and you fry the egg inside on a skillet. You can make these ahead of time as well and freeze them. However, they don't take too long to make so I usually don't do that. Another thing along this line is french toast sticks. I dip wheat bread in egg that has been scrambled and has cinnamon sugar in it(coating both sides) and then just fry it up in a pan with butter. I sometimes sprinkle more cinnamon sugar once it's done. Then I cut the slice into four strips and give them different sauces such as syrup, preserves, cheese, or anything else to dip them in.
Of course, there is always the bacon, sausage patties, and links. I try not to feed them these things too often. My neurologist told me that nitrites and the preservatives in these things are not the best thing for brain development. We will have these usually when we are on vacation or if we go somewhere out to eat for breakfast. You CAN find some healthy alternatives out there such as Turkey bacon and sausage made of higher quality ingredients.
I hope this helped some of you. Maybe some of my ideas will inspire other ideas for you. It's hard when you have a child that has allergies or sensitivities. Trust me... I know. However, there are a lot of options out there for us. My daughter can't have chocolate, but we get carob for her. Also, if your child is allergic to eggs that can be a challenge but it's not impossible to substitute. I found this neat article online: http://vegetarian.about.com/od/vegetarianvegan101/f/eggsubstitute.htm (It discusses how you can replace eggs in recipes.) Hope this helps!
*************************************
Today's the day to try something new!
*************************************
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Mistakes Made Equal Lessons Learned
You know what they say... hindsight is always 20/20. I have found that to be true in my life. Don't you wish sometimes that you could go back in time and do some things differently? I sure do. I think if we were wise we would at least consider the advice of older and more experienced people such as mothers and friends, we would not judge others, we would slow down, and more importantly we would learn from our mistakes.
I've wanted to do this for quite some time. It's always inspiring to hear other people's stories about mistakes and lessons learned from them. I wanted to explore some of the things I have learned from my mistakes. I am hoping that you can learn from them and that I can spare you all a little pain. Take it from me.... I am not even close to perfect and I don't dare even try to be. I just do the best that I can and try to learn something new each day.
Lesson #1: "Judge not, lest ye be judged" It's so easy to see faults in others, isn't it? However, I have found that usually we are most critical about things that we are deficient in. For example, before I had children I remember seeing a mother at the store with a child in a shopping cart yelling at the top of his lungs. He was screaming and throwing a tantrum. The mom was so angry that she actually lost her patience with him. I vividly remember thinking to myself, "I would never lose my patience like that with MY child." Well.... famous last words...I think I have lost my patience with EVERY ONE of my children! Patience is definitely something that I had to learn. It did not come easy for me. Luckily, I married a man that has patience enough to spare. Otherwise, I am not sure if my children would have survived toddlerhood. :)
Lesson #2: "There is more than one way to do things." I have to admit that I am a bit of a creature of habit. I tend to do things a certain way and don't usually deviate. I have a friend who has more kids than me and her house is always clean. I asked her what her secret was and she told me that her kids do most of the cleaning. I was floored! I couldn't believe that she actually let the kids clean. I have always considered my house to be my domain and I didn't want to relinquish it. Well... I tried letting the kids clean one day and I found myself watching how they did things and if they didn't do it like I would have done it, then I would go behind them and do it again. (I must have OCD.) Anyways, I have learned over the years that you must let things go sometimes. There is definitely more than one way to do things and you only make it harder on yourself when you insist on YOUR way. Needless to say, I let the kids do a lot more these days. I still go behind them in certain areas....but hey, I have come a loooong way.
Lesson #3: "Never say never." You don't know how many times I have said, "I will never do that." It's amazing how things change as you get older. When I was in my early twenties I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I remember once someone telling me that she was no longer feeding her kids milk. I thought I was going to pass out! How could she deny her kids the calcium that they needed was all I could think about. She tried to explain how she nursed them for a long time and so by the time she quit nursing they truly did not need the milk from a cow, which was made for a calf and not a human baby anyway. Well... this was such an alien concept for me. As you all know... I eventually came to find out that what she said was true. There are other and better ways of getting the calcium. So now I try not say never because you just never know.
Lesson #4: "Don't be afraid to give compliments." You know how many times I have seen a stranger wearing a beautiful outfit and thought to myself, "Wow, she looks so nice." Perhaps you have had an opportunity as well to give a compliment but didn't out of fear that the other person might find it weird or something. Well.. I had the neatest thing happen to me the other day. I was having one of those days and I have to say that I truly did not feel very pretty. I was at the cashier when all of a sudden this elderly woman came up to me and said, "You know I was meaning to tell you something when I passed by you in the isle. You are so pretty." That was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced! I just looked at her and said, "You just made my day." I have to admit that I got a bit teary-eyed. Then she said, "I just didn't know if you would mind hearing that coming from me." I thought how sad it is that people can't just express their feelings that way without worrying about what others would think. I will definitely have to remember to be more mindful about giving compliments myself. You will never know the impact you may have.
Lesson #5: "Murphy's Law will get you every time." No matter what you think, no one is immune. Accidents happen no matter how careful you are. When my kids were younger I always carried a diaper bag. I would usually check it and make sure that it was stocked with supplies, change of clothes, and miscellaneous items. However, it never failed that the ONE time I forgot to check I would be out of diapers, wipes, or change of clothes. Of course, it would be on a day when my child would have a "blow-out" and I would end up having to continue running errands with a child in diapers instead of the cute outfit I dressed him in. It's funny how that happens in life. Just remember that it's all in the attitude. You don't know how many times I stressed about the little things. Don't fret and just remember that worse things could happen.
Lesson #6: The last lesson that I wish to share with you is probably the most important one and the reason that I am inspired to be an advocate and do this blog. It's definitely not my idea, but it's how I try to live my life.... "The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." I wish that I knew then what I know now. There are so many things that mothers stress over that we cannot change. There are so many things we have no control over. However, there are also many things that we can do to make a difference. I stressed over some of the silliest things when I was a new mom. I did not realize my potential or the power that I had inside of me. It's not until you are hit with challenges and adversity that you realize how strong you truly are. I remember when I used to look at moms with four kids in awe. I couldn't imagine how they did it. Now... here I am with four kids and can't imagine my life any other way. Don't ever doubt your abilities. All it takes is desire and motivation to accomplish anything.
*********************************
Don't let fear of failure hinder
you from following your dreams.
*********************************
I've wanted to do this for quite some time. It's always inspiring to hear other people's stories about mistakes and lessons learned from them. I wanted to explore some of the things I have learned from my mistakes. I am hoping that you can learn from them and that I can spare you all a little pain. Take it from me.... I am not even close to perfect and I don't dare even try to be. I just do the best that I can and try to learn something new each day.
Lesson #1: "Judge not, lest ye be judged" It's so easy to see faults in others, isn't it? However, I have found that usually we are most critical about things that we are deficient in. For example, before I had children I remember seeing a mother at the store with a child in a shopping cart yelling at the top of his lungs. He was screaming and throwing a tantrum. The mom was so angry that she actually lost her patience with him. I vividly remember thinking to myself, "I would never lose my patience like that with MY child." Well.... famous last words...I think I have lost my patience with EVERY ONE of my children! Patience is definitely something that I had to learn. It did not come easy for me. Luckily, I married a man that has patience enough to spare. Otherwise, I am not sure if my children would have survived toddlerhood. :)
Lesson #2: "There is more than one way to do things." I have to admit that I am a bit of a creature of habit. I tend to do things a certain way and don't usually deviate. I have a friend who has more kids than me and her house is always clean. I asked her what her secret was and she told me that her kids do most of the cleaning. I was floored! I couldn't believe that she actually let the kids clean. I have always considered my house to be my domain and I didn't want to relinquish it. Well... I tried letting the kids clean one day and I found myself watching how they did things and if they didn't do it like I would have done it, then I would go behind them and do it again. (I must have OCD.) Anyways, I have learned over the years that you must let things go sometimes. There is definitely more than one way to do things and you only make it harder on yourself when you insist on YOUR way. Needless to say, I let the kids do a lot more these days. I still go behind them in certain areas....but hey, I have come a loooong way.
Lesson #3: "Never say never." You don't know how many times I have said, "I will never do that." It's amazing how things change as you get older. When I was in my early twenties I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I remember once someone telling me that she was no longer feeding her kids milk. I thought I was going to pass out! How could she deny her kids the calcium that they needed was all I could think about. She tried to explain how she nursed them for a long time and so by the time she quit nursing they truly did not need the milk from a cow, which was made for a calf and not a human baby anyway. Well... this was such an alien concept for me. As you all know... I eventually came to find out that what she said was true. There are other and better ways of getting the calcium. So now I try not say never because you just never know.
Lesson #4: "Don't be afraid to give compliments." You know how many times I have seen a stranger wearing a beautiful outfit and thought to myself, "Wow, she looks so nice." Perhaps you have had an opportunity as well to give a compliment but didn't out of fear that the other person might find it weird or something. Well.. I had the neatest thing happen to me the other day. I was having one of those days and I have to say that I truly did not feel very pretty. I was at the cashier when all of a sudden this elderly woman came up to me and said, "You know I was meaning to tell you something when I passed by you in the isle. You are so pretty." That was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced! I just looked at her and said, "You just made my day." I have to admit that I got a bit teary-eyed. Then she said, "I just didn't know if you would mind hearing that coming from me." I thought how sad it is that people can't just express their feelings that way without worrying about what others would think. I will definitely have to remember to be more mindful about giving compliments myself. You will never know the impact you may have.
Lesson #5: "Murphy's Law will get you every time." No matter what you think, no one is immune. Accidents happen no matter how careful you are. When my kids were younger I always carried a diaper bag. I would usually check it and make sure that it was stocked with supplies, change of clothes, and miscellaneous items. However, it never failed that the ONE time I forgot to check I would be out of diapers, wipes, or change of clothes. Of course, it would be on a day when my child would have a "blow-out" and I would end up having to continue running errands with a child in diapers instead of the cute outfit I dressed him in. It's funny how that happens in life. Just remember that it's all in the attitude. You don't know how many times I stressed about the little things. Don't fret and just remember that worse things could happen.
Lesson #6: The last lesson that I wish to share with you is probably the most important one and the reason that I am inspired to be an advocate and do this blog. It's definitely not my idea, but it's how I try to live my life.... "The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." I wish that I knew then what I know now. There are so many things that mothers stress over that we cannot change. There are so many things we have no control over. However, there are also many things that we can do to make a difference. I stressed over some of the silliest things when I was a new mom. I did not realize my potential or the power that I had inside of me. It's not until you are hit with challenges and adversity that you realize how strong you truly are. I remember when I used to look at moms with four kids in awe. I couldn't imagine how they did it. Now... here I am with four kids and can't imagine my life any other way. Don't ever doubt your abilities. All it takes is desire and motivation to accomplish anything.
*********************************
Don't let fear of failure hinder
you from following your dreams.
*********************************
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Finding Strength in Numbers
How do you find the strength to carry on and do what you have to do for the sake of your child? How do you find the words to say when you are challenged? Who do you turn to when things get rough? For me, I turn to my Heavenly Father first, my family second, my friends last. Without this support group I would not make it. There would be no way I could find the strength or the motivation I need to be a good mother.
No matter what your challenges are, it helps to have a support group. It can consist of one good friend or a group of friends and family. They are the people that you can turn to for help. They are the ones that are there with a shoulder to cry on. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful support group. Number one on my list is my sweet husband. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and has put up with me all these years. We are going to be celebrating our 16th year anniversary soon and I honestly don't know where the years went! It's unreal. However, when I look back on all the things we have had to endure then it hits me that we have been through a lot in those years. We have been able to grow together and I feel so lucky to have had him by my side through all the ups and downs of parenthood.
Friends are precious to me. I have some that I have known for most of my life. I have also met many wonderful people who have come and gone, but who have left a life-long impression in my heart. I have learned some valuable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Some of those things I have shared with you all in my posts. I have always valued those who are older and wiser than me. It has always amazed me how many people limit their friendships to their small inner circles consisting of people their own age. I guess it's just a foreign concept for me since most of my closest friends are older than I am. Right now I have friends of all ages and all denominations. I have friends who have small families and others with large ones. I have groups of friends that share similar hobbies. Then I have those friends who understand what I go through because they have children with special needs.
The point I want to make is that it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you. Don't take it personal if someone doesn't want to be your friend once they meet your family with all its challenges. That has happened to me on numerous occasions. In my opinion, it's their loss not mine. My mother always told me, "it's better to be alone than in bad company." That is something that has stuck with me all these years. I would much rather have a couple of good friends than to have dozens who don't really care.
I have to admit that I get so excited each time I meet another mom who has a child like mine. My excitement comes from knowing that already we have a special bond. There is a special connection in knowing that she understands how I feel. I know that she won't judge me like other people would. There is also a mutual understanding that no matter what mistakes our children make it won't change our opinion about them or each other. That is something that noone could comprehend unless you were in our shoes. I also enjoy conversations we have and being able to hear someone say, "I understand" and know they mean it. It is truly priceless.
Another thing I have found is the online community. There are hundreds of thousands of families who are seeking others for support and understanding. There are chatrooms and blogs. There are also numerous forums where you can go and read what other parents are going through. You can post words of encouragement for others as well as post your own question or concern and receive invaluable information. This is one I found tonight: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/default.asp I went under google and typed, "autism forums" and had 350,000 results come up! That should tell you something.
One of my friends told me that there is a local support group for parents with children who have autism. She said they offer seminars and often have professionals come and speak on different topics. I have never attended a seminar and someday hope to. I was planning on attending one recently, but it was cancelled due to lack of registration. It was sponsored by our school and evidently it didn't get enough support. I think it's a shame. Hopefully, there will be another one offered soon. I will keep you posted.
The last thing I think is important to discuss is church and prayer. My faith has been my saving grace. There has been so many times when I have knelt in prayer pleading with God to help me. Reading scriptures and praying has helped me to not only cope with stress and discouragement, but also has given me the inspiration and the desire to do more for others. I know that my loving Heavenly Father has placed angels all around me all of my life. I will never forget the day when my daughter snuck out the front door when she was only two and couldn't yet talk. I was nine months pregnant and had laid down just for a second because I was literally exhausted. All of a sudden I felt a chill and felt an urgent need to check on my daughter. I looked all over the house and then when I realized she was not inside. I rushed out the front door. I literally ran down the street looking for my daughter. I was numb and had not yet felt the need to cry. When my neighbors saw me they all calmed me down and helped me look for her. I remember going back into my house and locking myself in the bathroom and pleading for the safe return of my daughter. It was Christmas eve and all I could think of was how horrific it would be if this would be the moment I would remember from now on. It had been twenty minutes and it felt like hours. When I went back outside to look for my daughter I heard others yelling out to me, "We found her......we found her... she's okay.....we found her!" I knew my prayer was answered. That was when I finally was able to feel again and I just sobbed!
I hope that you have the support that you need. If you don't, I urge you to find it. It doesn't matter if you have children with issues or not..... Every mother needs a support network. There is strength in numbers and I can testify that it makes all the difference. Get out and research what is available in your community. Go online and google forums. Surround yourself with friends who really care. Last, but definitely not least, there is strength in knowing that there is a greater force beyond comprehension that can lead and guide you if you would just kneel in prayer.
**********************************
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be
given you; seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you
(Luke 11:9)
**********************************
No matter what your challenges are, it helps to have a support group. It can consist of one good friend or a group of friends and family. They are the people that you can turn to for help. They are the ones that are there with a shoulder to cry on. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful support group. Number one on my list is my sweet husband. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and has put up with me all these years. We are going to be celebrating our 16th year anniversary soon and I honestly don't know where the years went! It's unreal. However, when I look back on all the things we have had to endure then it hits me that we have been through a lot in those years. We have been able to grow together and I feel so lucky to have had him by my side through all the ups and downs of parenthood.
Friends are precious to me. I have some that I have known for most of my life. I have also met many wonderful people who have come and gone, but who have left a life-long impression in my heart. I have learned some valuable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Some of those things I have shared with you all in my posts. I have always valued those who are older and wiser than me. It has always amazed me how many people limit their friendships to their small inner circles consisting of people their own age. I guess it's just a foreign concept for me since most of my closest friends are older than I am. Right now I have friends of all ages and all denominations. I have friends who have small families and others with large ones. I have groups of friends that share similar hobbies. Then I have those friends who understand what I go through because they have children with special needs.
The point I want to make is that it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you. Don't take it personal if someone doesn't want to be your friend once they meet your family with all its challenges. That has happened to me on numerous occasions. In my opinion, it's their loss not mine. My mother always told me, "it's better to be alone than in bad company." That is something that has stuck with me all these years. I would much rather have a couple of good friends than to have dozens who don't really care.
I have to admit that I get so excited each time I meet another mom who has a child like mine. My excitement comes from knowing that already we have a special bond. There is a special connection in knowing that she understands how I feel. I know that she won't judge me like other people would. There is also a mutual understanding that no matter what mistakes our children make it won't change our opinion about them or each other. That is something that noone could comprehend unless you were in our shoes. I also enjoy conversations we have and being able to hear someone say, "I understand" and know they mean it. It is truly priceless.
Another thing I have found is the online community. There are hundreds of thousands of families who are seeking others for support and understanding. There are chatrooms and blogs. There are also numerous forums where you can go and read what other parents are going through. You can post words of encouragement for others as well as post your own question or concern and receive invaluable information. This is one I found tonight: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/default.asp I went under google and typed, "autism forums" and had 350,000 results come up! That should tell you something.
One of my friends told me that there is a local support group for parents with children who have autism. She said they offer seminars and often have professionals come and speak on different topics. I have never attended a seminar and someday hope to. I was planning on attending one recently, but it was cancelled due to lack of registration. It was sponsored by our school and evidently it didn't get enough support. I think it's a shame. Hopefully, there will be another one offered soon. I will keep you posted.
The last thing I think is important to discuss is church and prayer. My faith has been my saving grace. There has been so many times when I have knelt in prayer pleading with God to help me. Reading scriptures and praying has helped me to not only cope with stress and discouragement, but also has given me the inspiration and the desire to do more for others. I know that my loving Heavenly Father has placed angels all around me all of my life. I will never forget the day when my daughter snuck out the front door when she was only two and couldn't yet talk. I was nine months pregnant and had laid down just for a second because I was literally exhausted. All of a sudden I felt a chill and felt an urgent need to check on my daughter. I looked all over the house and then when I realized she was not inside. I rushed out the front door. I literally ran down the street looking for my daughter. I was numb and had not yet felt the need to cry. When my neighbors saw me they all calmed me down and helped me look for her. I remember going back into my house and locking myself in the bathroom and pleading for the safe return of my daughter. It was Christmas eve and all I could think of was how horrific it would be if this would be the moment I would remember from now on. It had been twenty minutes and it felt like hours. When I went back outside to look for my daughter I heard others yelling out to me, "We found her......we found her... she's okay.....we found her!" I knew my prayer was answered. That was when I finally was able to feel again and I just sobbed!
I hope that you have the support that you need. If you don't, I urge you to find it. It doesn't matter if you have children with issues or not..... Every mother needs a support network. There is strength in numbers and I can testify that it makes all the difference. Get out and research what is available in your community. Go online and google forums. Surround yourself with friends who really care. Last, but definitely not least, there is strength in knowing that there is a greater force beyond comprehension that can lead and guide you if you would just kneel in prayer.
**********************************
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be
given you; seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you
(Luke 11:9)
**********************************
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The diet factor (Part II)
I truly need to write a book, don't I? I find myself getting deeper and deeper into these topics and my entries end up looking like a magazine article. If you only knew how many hours I have stressed about these things and how much effort I have put into digging for the truth. You would be amazed.
When you go to the doctor and ask for advice on what you can do to help your child who has either autism or ADD/ADHD there is not much they can offer except for drugs. In my opinion, drugs are for children that are at the point where the behavior is either self-destructive or can hurt others. What can you do for a child who has mild symptoms? What options are there for an autistic child who is at the high functioning level? These are questions that I had to figure out on my own.
The first line of defense or treatment should be diet change!! I cannot stress that enough. Everyone knows that certain foods cause problems for some kids. There are some symptoms that are obvious. For example, I fed my daughter orange juice when she was young and she broke out all over her face in welts. I waited for months to feed her orange juice again and when I did she broke out in welts again around her mouth. Now I know that she is definitely allergic to orange juice. She could outgrow it, but for now we avoid it. Other allergies, unfortunately, are NOT so obvious. Behavior change is more subtle. In my case, I tried to keep track of my #2's diet and eventually realized that when he had "pink milk" he would act differently. The strawberry syrup has Red dye #40. That is a big trigger for many kids. It can cause problems with hyperactivity, irritability, restlessness, and being able to sleep. I have to admit that it took me a few weeks of keeping track. The way we found out was I was reading about it online and then decided to stop giving him the syrup, and we immediately saw a change in his behavior. The hard part was I had to make sure, right? So...I gave him some pink milk to test my hypothesis and that day we definitely saw a change. That night he had trouble sleeping and the next day he did not have a good day. Darn the scientific method!!
What do you do when others won't support you or think you're nuts? That is a good question. It's a known fact that most mothers don't want their children to stand out unless it's for a good reason (such as intelligence and looks). So, I wish people would back off when mothers are just trying to do their job. It's also easy to get defensive when others question why you do what you do. The thing to remember is that as long as YOU remain calm and just explain it in a way that others can relate then you are less likely to get the backlash. For example, you can either say, "I am sorry, but Johnny can't have candy right now since it's a known fact that eating too much sugar causes hyperactivity in kids with autism".....or you can say, "Thanks for offering the candy, but Johnny is not allowed to have candy right now." Do you see how just changing a couple of words changes everything? Most mothers would not even question it and "Johnny" doesn't have to hear you defend your decision as a mother.
I think it's important to be consistent with diets. I have to admit that I get so lax with diets. The hardest time for me is when we are not home. I am sure it's that way for most mothers. If I give my children an inch they will take a yard when it comes to breaking rules. My husband is like a kid when it comes to bringing junk food home. Sometimes he will get "fun" cereal as well and then I feel like if we don't eat it then it is wasting food and money. Consequences of breaking diets can last for days. That is why if we do it, we have to take that into consideration. There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but just remember to try and be consistent as much as possible.
Another point I want to make is that some children are deficient in certain vitamins and nutrients. That is why my neurologist started my daughter on a supplement before we even had a diagnosis. He said that certain deficiencies can manifest in different ways. I thought that made perfect sense. I am definitely not a nutritionist and so I could see myself unknowingly feeding my family a diet lacking in something. Why can't doctors test children for this on a routine visit? In my opinion, I think that they should test children after they start solid foods. They could start at age 2 and then do it every six months during their routine visits until about age 4 and then every year after that. (Of course, I am talking about children who are having health problems or issues in development.) Again, this would be too easy. They would much rather wait and see or give drugs.
As years go on I see preventive medicine going down the drain. The pharmaceutical companies have too much money invested in their products and they are going to push doctors to give it to their patients for everything. There are so many alternatives to medicine out there and there are things parents can do without the help of the traditional medical community. The thing I want parents to know is that there is much more to health than meets the eye. Our bodies are a marvelous machine that can heal itself (if you will let it), can tell you when it's sick (if you will listen), and has greater potential than you can imagine (if you only have the faith).
********************************
We live in a "gotta have it now" world
when it comes to everything. This
way of thinking will one day ruin our
health, destroy our planet, and end
everything that we call humanity.
********************************
When you go to the doctor and ask for advice on what you can do to help your child who has either autism or ADD/ADHD there is not much they can offer except for drugs. In my opinion, drugs are for children that are at the point where the behavior is either self-destructive or can hurt others. What can you do for a child who has mild symptoms? What options are there for an autistic child who is at the high functioning level? These are questions that I had to figure out on my own.
The first line of defense or treatment should be diet change!! I cannot stress that enough. Everyone knows that certain foods cause problems for some kids. There are some symptoms that are obvious. For example, I fed my daughter orange juice when she was young and she broke out all over her face in welts. I waited for months to feed her orange juice again and when I did she broke out in welts again around her mouth. Now I know that she is definitely allergic to orange juice. She could outgrow it, but for now we avoid it. Other allergies, unfortunately, are NOT so obvious. Behavior change is more subtle. In my case, I tried to keep track of my #2's diet and eventually realized that when he had "pink milk" he would act differently. The strawberry syrup has Red dye #40. That is a big trigger for many kids. It can cause problems with hyperactivity, irritability, restlessness, and being able to sleep. I have to admit that it took me a few weeks of keeping track. The way we found out was I was reading about it online and then decided to stop giving him the syrup, and we immediately saw a change in his behavior. The hard part was I had to make sure, right? So...I gave him some pink milk to test my hypothesis and that day we definitely saw a change. That night he had trouble sleeping and the next day he did not have a good day. Darn the scientific method!!
What do you do when others won't support you or think you're nuts? That is a good question. It's a known fact that most mothers don't want their children to stand out unless it's for a good reason (such as intelligence and looks). So, I wish people would back off when mothers are just trying to do their job. It's also easy to get defensive when others question why you do what you do. The thing to remember is that as long as YOU remain calm and just explain it in a way that others can relate then you are less likely to get the backlash. For example, you can either say, "I am sorry, but Johnny can't have candy right now since it's a known fact that eating too much sugar causes hyperactivity in kids with autism".....or you can say, "Thanks for offering the candy, but Johnny is not allowed to have candy right now." Do you see how just changing a couple of words changes everything? Most mothers would not even question it and "Johnny" doesn't have to hear you defend your decision as a mother.
I think it's important to be consistent with diets. I have to admit that I get so lax with diets. The hardest time for me is when we are not home. I am sure it's that way for most mothers. If I give my children an inch they will take a yard when it comes to breaking rules. My husband is like a kid when it comes to bringing junk food home. Sometimes he will get "fun" cereal as well and then I feel like if we don't eat it then it is wasting food and money. Consequences of breaking diets can last for days. That is why if we do it, we have to take that into consideration. There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but just remember to try and be consistent as much as possible.
Another point I want to make is that some children are deficient in certain vitamins and nutrients. That is why my neurologist started my daughter on a supplement before we even had a diagnosis. He said that certain deficiencies can manifest in different ways. I thought that made perfect sense. I am definitely not a nutritionist and so I could see myself unknowingly feeding my family a diet lacking in something. Why can't doctors test children for this on a routine visit? In my opinion, I think that they should test children after they start solid foods. They could start at age 2 and then do it every six months during their routine visits until about age 4 and then every year after that. (Of course, I am talking about children who are having health problems or issues in development.) Again, this would be too easy. They would much rather wait and see or give drugs.
As years go on I see preventive medicine going down the drain. The pharmaceutical companies have too much money invested in their products and they are going to push doctors to give it to their patients for everything. There are so many alternatives to medicine out there and there are things parents can do without the help of the traditional medical community. The thing I want parents to know is that there is much more to health than meets the eye. Our bodies are a marvelous machine that can heal itself (if you will let it), can tell you when it's sick (if you will listen), and has greater potential than you can imagine (if you only have the faith).
********************************
We live in a "gotta have it now" world
when it comes to everything. This
way of thinking will one day ruin our
health, destroy our planet, and end
everything that we call humanity.
********************************
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