Karate Therapy?

Karate is definitely not on the top of many parent's list as a "therapy" for their child. Why would you expose your child to fighting and aggression? Well.... I am about to debunk a bunch of myths concerning karate and to tell you all that you might just want to try karate. It might surprise you what YOU and your child will learn.

Myth #1: Karate will encourage my child to be aggressive.
Actually karate is considered an "art" and when they start off they will learn moves and "forms" that are associated with the specific martial art they are learning. Your child will probably be disappointed that they won't be actually fighting for quite some time. The main point they will learn is that karate is for protection and not for starting fights. They will learn that the best way to "win" a fight is to avoid one in the first place.

Myth #2: Karate is a very dangerous sport.
Karate is safer than any other sport out there. My daughter got hurt while playing indoor soccer. The main reason was that she didn't have any protection except on her shins. When your child starts to fight in tournaments, it will be when they are in the higher belts and they will be wearing all the appropriate protective gear.

Myth #3: Girls wouldn't benefit from taking karate.
This is so wrong! I think girls should be the first ones to take karate. When I was 12 years old I came home with a black eye from a bully hurting me on the bus. The following day my dad enrolled me in karate. I gained so much confidence and I was never bullied again! Girls have to learn how to protect themselves. They will not only learn vital skills in karate, but gain the self-confidence they need so that they never have to feel like a victim.

Myth #4: My child has ADHD and so he wouldn't be able to handle karate.
The fact is that karate can HELP kids with ADHD. In karate they learn how to focus and pay attention. The repetition and structure of karate is also good for a lot of kids with attention deficits. I have read in numerous sources that they encourage parents to enroll their children in karate to help deal with ADHD. I believe it's definitely something that should be explored.

Of course, I am a bit biased since I have taken karate and now have my children enrolled in it. I have already seen the changes in my children since the first day they started. I am looking forward to seeing some great things happen in the next few months. They look forward to going each day and I have to admit that I enjoy it too! I have only been twice and have learned so much. It is definitely empowering and I hope to stay with it for as long as my children do. It's fun going to classes together. They definitely enjoy seeing their mommy out there on the mat too.

The life lessons that children learn from karate are too numerous to count. There are many programs out there and I encourage you to look at all of them. They are all very different and some are more structured and regimented than others. You know your child and their limitations. I enrolled my children in a very loving, caring, and nurturing environment. It's one of the few places in the country that teaches "Stranger Danger" and is endorsed by the city police department. I love the instructors and the parents are all very supportive. I definitely feel it's the right place for MY kids. I feel blessed to have found this program. It's worth every penny!
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Don't take MY word for it... try it out and
see for yourself.
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Should He Stay or Should He Go???

I don't want to brag, but after everything we've been through with my oldest... I think I am entitled to a little good news. Right? For those of you who don't know the story, here is a little recap: To say that my oldest is a smart kid is probably an understatement. He recently turned twelve years old and he is in the 7th grade because we homeschooled and were able to complete two years of academics in one year. Because of his ADHD and Gifted IQ, the regular school setting was difficult for him. He would get bored and get into trouble for reading books during instruction. Even though we put him in Quest (which is a special enrichment program for gifted kids) it was not enough. Also, he was a bit "nerdy" and so he got picked on. He kind of kept to himself and only had a couple close friends.

Now... with that in mind, we opted to put him in a private school this year even though the tuition is outrageous. The peace of mind and knowing that he would be challenged was worth it to me. This year has truly been the best year for him. He has matured and learned a lot of lessons. He's made a lot of friend. He has learned to be more organized and has excelled in his academics. The school he goes to is a special school for kids with ADHD, High Functioning Autism, who are gifted, or have a combination. As many of you already know, kids who are in the top spectrum of intelligence have a handicap in school just as the kids in the lower spectrum. They are a challenge for teachers and they often do not get what they need. This school is awesome because they test the kids and put them in the appropriate level classrooms no matter what age they are. It is an amazing thing to see.

In December I received a packet requesting forms and payment for holding positions for next year before it was open to the public. I panicked because I just did not know what I was going to do yet. I have two children going there and the combined tuition is equal to a house payment. Plus, I wanted to try out the new middle school that was going to open next Fall. I had a lot of things to consider, including homeschooling him. I decided to wait until the Parent/Teacher Conference that was scheduled in a couple weeks to see. When I spoke to the teacher I asked her frankly about my child. I was excited to hear that he was doing extremely well socially and they were using him as a peer tutor and helper. She also said that there was another child who was having difficulties making friends and so they formed a boy lunch group for him and he specifically requested my son to be in the group. She said that he was really enjoying that.

After we spoke for a while about his progress, I explained to her my dilemma and asked her as his teacher what her feelings were on it. She confirmed my concerns. She told me that he needed to be challenged and that a regular middle school would not offer him what he needed. She suggested we put him in a magnet school. However, we did that last year and we weren't going down THAT road again!! She explained that the school would be able to test him and let him skip any sections that he had mastered in various subjects. That would help challenge him a little bit more and then he would be prepared for Magnet High School the following year. That gave me a lot to think about. I did not realize that they could do that. I also spoke with the Asst. Director of the school and she felt the same way and even reassured me that she had many students go on to Magnet High School and that they did very well.

It was a very overwhelming thing for me. I sat down with my husband and we discussed it in depth. We had options at this point. The big question was: could we afford it next year?? We decided that if we budgeted and cut back on a few things, we would be able to handle it for one more year. The next step was to speak to my son. That was important to me. I needed to know how he felt about it. I tried not to influence him in any way. I just asked him bluntly, "What do you think about your school? Do you want to go back next year? Would you like to be homeschooled?" His response was quick. He said he wanted to return next year. That was enough for me.

Sometimes we make sacrifices for our children that we would never dream of doing. It is always difficult knowing if you did the right thing. School is a very stressful thing for parents. It is especially hard when you have special needs to consider. I am fortunate to have the choice because I know there are many who don't. I feel like homeschooling is definitely always my safety net. If things don't work out, then I know that I can do it and that my child will be okay. There are many people out there who frown against it, but I am here to say that you should not knock it til you try it. The hardest thing about homeschooling, for me, was probably staying organized and making sure that I offered enough extracurricular activities so that he didn't feel lonely. The rest was a piece of cake.

I am so glad that so far all of our children seem to be happy where they are. They are all excelling in school and look forward to learning each day. Even my baby who goes to preschool loves going. There is no better feeling in the world to know that your babies are in good hands and that all your sacrifices and hard work were not in vain.
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Is it time to exhale?
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Most Frazzled Mom Contest

There is actually a contest I heard about the other day that is entitled: "Most Frazzled Mom Contest" and I am considering entering it. You need to submit a 500 word essay explaining why you feel you are the most frazzled mom in our area. The winner gets a prize valued at $500.00. The prize includes one night stay at a local luxury hotel. Not bad for writing 500 words, huh?

Last year I would have had a better chance of winning. This was my life last year: all four of my children attended a different school. My oldest attended a school that was all the way across town. My daughter attended a preschool that was approximately halfway across town. To make matters worse, the timing could not be any worse. My oldest had to be at school by 8:30am. My daughter needed to be at school at 9:00am. My #2 had to be at school by 8:00am. My baby went to school at 8:30am and could not be dropped off any earlier. Picking them up was even worse. My daughter had to be picked up no later than 12:00 noon. My baby had to be picked up by 12:30pm. My #2 had to be picked up by 3:00pm. My oldest had to be picked up at 3:30pm. I finally found a friend to carpool with by the middle of the school year for my oldest. That was a blessing. However, I had to pick up all my kids and be home in time for him to be dropped off at the house. I felt like a taxi driver the entire year. It was crazy!

If you think THAT was bad... I didn't even mention how my daughter had to be at ballet by 3:45pm on Tuesdays and my boys had gym at the same time. That meant that I had to pack their clothes and they had to change in the van once we got there. Thank goodness for tinted windows!! Of course, Wednesdays was Scouts and so they needed to be done with homework and projects in time to be at the meeting. Let's see.... oh, and then I had to deal with bullying issues with my son who was in middle school and a principal that didn't cooperate. Oh... and then my daughter was sick but no doctor could tell me why and didn't seem to want to find out. (That was enough to make ME sick.)

I think you get the picture. Wow... thinking about all I went through last year makes me appreciate 2008 so much more! I guess I should count my blessings and realize that any stress I am under is just part of being a mom. When you have four children it's absolutely normal to feel a little frazzled. If not, then you aren't taking your job very seriously. Feeling a little stress just means that you care. It just comes with the territory.

Well... if any of you reading this live in the Central Alabama Region this is the site with the official rules: http://centralalabama.momslikeme.com/members/journalactions.aspx?g=503205&m=3231342&si=Comments&pi=1
I hope none of you reading this feel like the most frazzled mom.... however, you know what they say, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" It's worth a try, right? If anything, I think it would be very therapeutic to write down some of your thoughts. I know that this blog does that for me. It has helped me so much in ways you will never know.
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Good luck!
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What is a Learning Disability ..... Part III

*Again.... I want to remind you all that this is information is taken from the F.A.T. City Learning Disability Workshop hosted by Richard D. Lavoie.

Experiencing Frustration, Anxiety, and Tension:
LD children experience these feelings when teachers:
1) use throwaway sarcasms which may make the rest of the class laugh but create a victim out of the LD child;
2) move through question and answer periods so rapidly that LD children cannot keep up and choose not to volunteer, or when called on, cannot answer;
3) become intimidating, and demand that LD students "Look at them" when they speak to them.

Inability to Process Language:
LD children's inability to process language as rapidly as others may make it necessary for teachers to:
1) move less rapidly through classroom discussion, especially the question and answer periods;
2) take the LD child aside and promise only to call on him or her when standing in front of the student's desk. That way, only the teacher and LD student know when the student is required to answer.

Risk Taking:
Sometimes intimidating situations in the classroom make LD students hesitant to take risks. This leads to:
1) lack of participation in classroom discussion for fear of giving a wrong answer which will be ridiculed;
2) LD students developing into LD adults who are reluctant to take chances.

Visual Perception:
The visual perception problems of LD students make it difficult for them to immediately understand what they are looking at. This problem is exacerbated by teachers who:
1) urge the LD student to "try harder" to understand what he or she is having trouble making sense of;
2) attempt to "bribe" such students by offering them an early recess or less homework, etc.;
3) attempt to threaten the student by withdrawing such things as recess, etc.;
4) engage in "blaming the victim" by accusing the LD child of not trying hard enough.

Reading Comprehension:
LD students have trouble with reading comprehension even if they know and recognize individual words within a sentence.
They may be dyslexic or they may not have a grasp of the background information required to understand what they are reading.

The Effect of Visual Perception on Behavior:
Often the LD child gets into trouble and does now know what he or she did wrong. Misperceptions of visual stimuli can lead the LD student to give incorrect answers or respond inappropriately to situations.

Visual-Motor Coordination:
Difficulties with visual-motor coordination often make the writing process very difficult for LD students.

Oral Expression:
The inability to retrieve stored linguistic information the way others can is called dysnomia. Teachers can help with this problem by giving the LD student more time to answer and respond to questions.

Reading and Decoding:
LD students are often dyslexic and they cannot decode information as quickly as others can.

Auditory and Visual Capabilities:
LD students often need to hear a written passage before they are able to comprehend it. Many LD students benefit from having books on audiotape.

Fairness:
Teachers are urged to reexamine the notion of what is "fair." "Fair" does not mean that every child gets the same treatment, but that every child gets what he or she needs.
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The last point is one of the most important ones in this post! I had problems with my #2's kindergarten teacher because she would use that reasoning all the time. She couldn't make special exceptions for my child because it wouldn't be "fair" or that if she did that for MY child then she would have to do it for ALL.... which is something that needs to change! For example, my #2 had trouble settling down for nap time and I asked if he could just have a book or something quiet to do since he no longer took naps... well, the answer was, "it wouldn't be fair." SOOOOOOOOOO frustrating!!!!
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What is fairness? Do we cater to the
few in spite of the majority... or do
we let let those few fall between the
cracks?
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What is a Learning Disability ....... Part II

What are the early warning signs of learning disabilities? That's an excellent question parents and educators should ask. Children with learning disabilities exhibit a wide range of symptoms. These include problems with reading, mathematics, comprehension, writing, spoken language, or reasoning abilities. Hyperactivity, inattention and perceptual coordination may also be associated with learning disabilities but are not learning disabilities themselves. The primary characteristic of a learning disability is a significant difference between a child's achievement in some areas and his or her overall intelligence.

Learning disabilities typically affect five general areas:
1. Spoken Language: delays, disorders, and deviations in listening and speaking
2. Written language: difficulties with reading, writing, and spelling
3. Arithmetic: difficulty in performing arithmetic operations or in understanding basic concepts
4. Reasoning: difficulty in organizing and integrating thoughts
5. Memory: difficulty in remembering information and instructions.

(At this point I would like to comment on what has been discussed so far. As you can see there is a significant amount of information and it can be a bit overwhelming. I just want to say that the early warning signs that are about to follow are not comprehensive but extensive. Just because your child has any of these "signs" doesn't mean he is automatically "learning disabled". This is just a list that a parent can look at if they have reasons to believe that their child might be or if there is any question as to the possibility of testing or early intervention.)

Among the symptoms commonly related to learning disabilities are:
* poor performance on group tests
* difficulty discriminating size, shape, color
* difficulty with temporal (time) concepts
* distorted concept of body image
* reversals in writing and reading
* general awkwardness
* poor visual-motor coordination
* hyperactivity
* difficulty copying accurately from a model
* slowness in completing work
* poor organizational skills
* easily confused with instructions
* difficulty with abstract reasoning and/or problem-solving
* disorganized thinking
* often obsesses on one topic or idea
* poor short-term or long-term memory
* impulsive behavior; lack of reflective thought prior to action
* low tolerance for frustration
* excessive movement during sleep
* poor peer relationships
* overly excitable during group play
* poor social judgment
* inappropriate, unselective, and often excessive display of affection
* lags in development milestones (e.g.,motor, language)
* behavior often inappropriate for situation
* failure to see consequences for his actions
* overly gullible; easily led by peers
* excessive variation in mood and responsiveness
* poor adjustment to environmental changes
* overly distractible; difficulty concentrating
* difficulty making decisions
* lack of hand preference or mixed dominance
* difficulty with tasks requiring sequencing

When considering these symptoms, it is important to remain mindful of the following:
* No one will have all these symptoms
* Among LD populations, some symptoms are more common than others
* All people have at least two or three of these symptoms to some degree
* The number of symptoms seen in a particular child does not give an indication as to whether the disability is mild or severe. It is important to consider if the behaviors are chronic and appear in clusters.

(I hope this information helps some of you who have questions about your child. My hope is that perhaps some educators will also benefit from this information as well. In my next post I will discuss some specific examples and ideas presented in "The F.A.T. City Learning Disability Workshop".
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Next time: Experiencing Frustration, Anxiety, and Tension
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What is a Learning Disability? ........(Part I )

*Note*: Please read this post even if you don't have a child who is learning disabled. I know that many of you will one day (if not already) meet or know someone who has been affected. This information is for ALL parents and educators.

The following information was taken from the notes given to me when I went to the workshop given by Churchill Academy. We had the opportunity of seeing the "F.A.T City Learning Disability Workshop" hosted by Richard D. Lavoie. I have already explained how wonderful the movie was and how much my husband and I learned.

I have to admit that I used to have misconceptions and prejudgments about people who were in "special education" when I was growing up. I thought people who were Learning Disabled (LD) were dumb and couldn't learn. I thought it meant that they were "mentally retarded". However, being LD doesn't mean that at all. After going to this workshop I have a better understanding of what it means.

One of the main points made at the workshop was that there is no clear and widely accepted definition of "learning disabilities", and because of the nature of the field and ongoing debate on the issue of definition there are currently at least twelve definitions that appear in the professional literature! However, they DO agree on certain factors:
1) The learning disabled have difficulties with academic achievement and progress; discrepancies exist between a person's potential for learning and what he actually learns.
2) The learning disabled show an uneven pattern of development (language development, physical development, academic development).
3) Learning problems are NOT due to environmental disadvantage.
4) Learning problems are NOT due to mental retardation or emotional disturbance.

The term "learning disability" was coined by Dr. Samuel Kirk in 1962. It is often referred to as the "hidden handicap" because there is no outward appearance of the disability. Children with learning disabilities appear to be no different than their normal peers.

I think that last statement is one of the most important things I want people to know. There are so many times when teachers and educators misunderstand the behavior of kids. Just imagine being a child who has difficulty processing information (perhaps you have dyslexia) and a teacher puts you on the spot constantly and belittles you in front of the class. Imagine how much your self-esteem would suffer. What about that kid who cannot concentrate on the teacher because he has to work extra hard to block out distractions such as noises outside or someone tapping their pencil on their desk. Imagine the improvement in classroom behavior and academic achievement if educators learned the different types of challenges some kids face. Not only that, but think of the practicality for parents. What if we could understand why our kids behave the way they do?

What Causes Learning Disabilities? That is a good question. Here are some general observations that have been found:
1) Some children develop and mature at a slower rate than others in the same age group. As a result, they may not be able to do the expected school work. This kind of learning disability is called "maturational lag."
2) Some children with normal vision and hearing may misinterpret everyday sights and sounds because of some unexplained disorder of the nervous system.
3) Injuries before birth or in early childhood may account for some later learning problems.
4) Children born prematurely and children who had medical problems soon after birth sometimes have learning disabilities.
5) Learning disabilities tend to run in families, so some learning disabilities may be inherited.
6) Learning disabilities are more common in boys than girls, possibly because boys tend to mature more slowly.
7) Some learning disabilities appear to be linked to the irregular spelling, pronunciation, and structure of the English language. The incidence of learning disabilities is lower in Spanish or Italian-speaking countries.

Interesting stuff, huh? Don't worry....there's more, but I will continue the topic another day.
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Next time: What are the early warning signs
of learning disabilities.
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The Most Important Meal of the Day

We can go without lunch... We can go without dinner..... But heaven help us if we skip breakfast!! It is the most important meal of the day and it usually determines what kind of day we will have. When you have children with autism or ADHD it is critical that they get a healthy breakfast. I've had some requests for quick and easy ideas for breakfast and I thought I would post that now.

My most favorite thing to make is eggs. I have discovered an easy way of making them. All I do is take one egg and scramble it in a microwave-safe bowl. I then sprinkle whatever I like on top. Some suggestions are: REAL bacon bits, cheese, shredded or chopped-up ham, and left-over taco meat (trust me... it's good). You then microwave it for one minute and you have an instant omelet. I sometimes fold it over and top with salsa. It's definitely quick and easy.

My next favorite thing is pancakes. I make large batches and freeze them and put them in Ziploc bags. All you have to do is pop them in the microwave for a few seconds and you've got breakfast! You can add anything to them. I have even added fiber to them. You don't have to use sugary syrup either. If you are concerned about sugar intake then top them with preserves or apple butter. You can also make them into sandwiches. My oldest loves the McGriddle sandwiches from McDonald's and you can make your own at home. Also, there are low sugar syrups out there and they come in a variety of flavors.

Another thing we love to eat is oatmeal. I usually don't bother buying the packets. I make my own. You can make it with milk instead of water to make it creamier. I love to add cinnamon to mine and it's so good for you. There have been studies that show that just 1/2 a tsp. of cinnamon can lower your cholesterol and even help with regulating blood sugar in people with type 2 diabetes. (This is my source: http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/10-health-benefits-of-cinnamon.html) One thing I used to do for one of my kids was put the oatmeal in a blender with a little bit of milk before cooking it. That will change the consistency to a creamier texture and you can even feed it to a baby that usually gags on it. My youngest loved it that way!

In the South we eat something called grits. It's basically a type of cooked coarsely ground cornmeal. We love to add cheese to ours. It's nice and salty and my kids all love it. They also sell them in various flavors and I love to try them out. My favorite is the cheddar cheese flavored kind. My kids love to eat them with eggs in the morning.

My kids LOVE to eat egg in a nest. It's basically a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle and you fry the egg inside on a skillet. You can make these ahead of time as well and freeze them. However, they don't take too long to make so I usually don't do that. Another thing along this line is french toast sticks. I dip wheat bread in egg that has been scrambled and has cinnamon sugar in it(coating both sides) and then just fry it up in a pan with butter. I sometimes sprinkle more cinnamon sugar once it's done. Then I cut the slice into four strips and give them different sauces such as syrup, preserves, cheese, or anything else to dip them in.

Of course, there is always the bacon, sausage patties, and links. I try not to feed them these things too often. My neurologist told me that nitrites and the preservatives in these things are not the best thing for brain development. We will have these usually when we are on vacation or if we go somewhere out to eat for breakfast. You CAN find some healthy alternatives out there such as Turkey bacon and sausage made of higher quality ingredients.

I hope this helped some of you. Maybe some of my ideas will inspire other ideas for you. It's hard when you have a child that has allergies or sensitivities. Trust me... I know. However, there are a lot of options out there for us. My daughter can't have chocolate, but we get carob for her. Also, if your child is allergic to eggs that can be a challenge but it's not impossible to substitute. I found this neat article online: http://vegetarian.about.com/od/vegetarianvegan101/f/eggsubstitute.htm (It discusses how you can replace eggs in recipes.) Hope this helps!
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Today's the day to try something new!
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The diet factor (Part II)

I truly need to write a book, don't I? I find myself getting deeper and deeper into these topics and my entries end up looking like a magazine article. If you only knew how many hours I have stressed about these things and how much effort I have put into digging for the truth. You would be amazed.

When you go to the doctor and ask for advice on what you can do to help your child who has either autism or ADD/ADHD there is not much they can offer except for drugs. In my opinion, drugs are for children that are at the point where the behavior is either self-destructive or can hurt others. What can you do for a child who has mild symptoms? What options are there for an autistic child who is at the high functioning level? These are questions that I had to figure out on my own.

The first line of defense or treatment should be diet change!! I cannot stress that enough. Everyone knows that certain foods cause problems for some kids. There are some symptoms that are obvious. For example, I fed my daughter orange juice when she was young and she broke out all over her face in welts. I waited for months to feed her orange juice again and when I did she broke out in welts again around her mouth. Now I know that she is definitely allergic to orange juice. She could outgrow it, but for now we avoid it. Other allergies, unfortunately, are NOT so obvious. Behavior change is more subtle. In my case, I tried to keep track of my #2's diet and eventually realized that when he had "pink milk" he would act differently. The strawberry syrup has Red dye #40. That is a big trigger for many kids. It can cause problems with hyperactivity, irritability, restlessness, and being able to sleep. I have to admit that it took me a few weeks of keeping track. The way we found out was I was reading about it online and then decided to stop giving him the syrup, and we immediately saw a change in his behavior. The hard part was I had to make sure, right? So...I gave him some pink milk to test my hypothesis and that day we definitely saw a change. That night he had trouble sleeping and the next day he did not have a good day. Darn the scientific method!!

What do you do when others won't support you or think you're nuts? That is a good question. It's a known fact that most mothers don't want their children to stand out unless it's for a good reason (such as intelligence and looks). So, I wish people would back off when mothers are just trying to do their job. It's also easy to get defensive when others question why you do what you do. The thing to remember is that as long as YOU remain calm and just explain it in a way that others can relate then you are less likely to get the backlash. For example, you can either say, "I am sorry, but Johnny can't have candy right now since it's a known fact that eating too much sugar causes hyperactivity in kids with autism".....or you can say, "Thanks for offering the candy, but Johnny is not allowed to have candy right now." Do you see how just changing a couple of words changes everything? Most mothers would not even question it and "Johnny" doesn't have to hear you defend your decision as a mother.

I think it's important to be consistent with diets. I have to admit that I get so lax with diets. The hardest time for me is when we are not home. I am sure it's that way for most mothers. If I give my children an inch they will take a yard when it comes to breaking rules. My husband is like a kid when it comes to bringing junk food home. Sometimes he will get "fun" cereal as well and then I feel like if we don't eat it then it is wasting food and money. Consequences of breaking diets can last for days. That is why if we do it, we have to take that into consideration. There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but just remember to try and be consistent as much as possible.

Another point I want to make is that some children are deficient in certain vitamins and nutrients. That is why my neurologist started my daughter on a supplement before we even had a diagnosis. He said that certain deficiencies can manifest in different ways. I thought that made perfect sense. I am definitely not a nutritionist and so I could see myself unknowingly feeding my family a diet lacking in something. Why can't doctors test children for this on a routine visit? In my opinion, I think that they should test children after they start solid foods. They could start at age 2 and then do it every six months during their routine visits until about age 4 and then every year after that. (Of course, I am talking about children who are having health problems or issues in development.) Again, this would be too easy. They would much rather wait and see or give drugs.

As years go on I see preventive medicine going down the drain. The pharmaceutical companies have too much money invested in their products and they are going to push doctors to give it to their patients for everything. There are so many alternatives to medicine out there and there are things parents can do without the help of the traditional medical community. The thing I want parents to know is that there is much more to health than meets the eye. Our bodies are a marvelous machine that can heal itself (if you will let it), can tell you when it's sick (if you will listen), and has greater potential than you can imagine (if you only have the faith).
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We live in a "gotta have it now" world
when it comes to everything. This
way of thinking will one day ruin our
health, destroy our planet, and end
everything that we call humanity.
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The diet factor (Part I)

I have done a lot of research on different diets out there that are supposed to help with ADD/ADHD and autism. There is so much information that it's almost overwhelming. However, the stories I have read have given me so much hope. I am determined to tell my story to whoever will listen.

As I have already discussed in a previous post, my oldest was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. Medicines seemed to aggravate his condition and the side-effects were horrible. Unfortunately, our LAST resort should have been our first. We decided to try a special diet that I read in a book that was supposed to help with his symptoms. It was basically a low-carb diet. We also had to avoid red dye, processed foods, and artificial sweeteners. It truly wasn't a hard diet to follow. My son seemed to love the new food I was feeding him for breakfast and he enjoyed not having to take his medicine. He always hated having to swallow those nasty-tasting pills.

We noticed a change right away. We actually saw results faster than with the medicine. It was also a good change for our entire family. I think that processed foods are not good for anyone. When your diet consists mainly of processed foods, your brain is going to suffer no matter who you are. In our church we have what is called the "Word of Wisdom" which faithful members follow. It includes abstaining from tea, coffee, tobacco products, and eating meat sparingly. There is also counsel to exercise the body regularly, eat fruits in season, and wholesome herbs. In my opinion, this is the best "diet" in the world. It is unfortunately one that most people don't follow because of today's lifestyle and fast-paced world.

Let me give you a scenario.... You are a busy working mother who probably stayed up late working on household chores and perhaps catching up on some t.v. shows to wind down from a long day. You wake up and have to get your child ready so you can take him to daycare or school on your way to work. You either pull out some poptarts (the yummy sugary kind that your child loves) or else consider a more healthy breakfast of cold cereal. You decide on the cereal since at least you add milk. It can't be too bad. Then you get ready and pack the bags and drop your child off. You work your 8-hour shift and then decide that you are too tired to cook dinner tonight and so on your way home you grab some dinner at a local fast-food restaurant with a drive-through. You pick up your child and head home. Once home you plop yourself in front of a t.v. with your child and eat your dinner. You put your arm around him thinking that this is such a bonding experience. You give him a kiss on the head and continue to eat your MSG fat-filled hamburger with bacon, lettuce, and tomato.... while your child munches on some chicken nuggets, which consist mainly of fillers and parts, and french fries. Does this sound familiar? It has become a way of life for many people. It is also a contributing factor for a lot of behavioral and health problems in children. This is part of the "environmental factors" that many say contribute to ADD/ADHD and autism.

What did I do to help my child with autism? It was very similar to what I did with my oldest. I have eliminated artificial sweeteners and red dye. I restrict his sugar intake. The biggest thing I do is try to feed him 5 times a day. That is the best way to keep his sugar level steady. He gets breakfast. At school he gets a snack. They have lunch at noon. Then when he gets home I feed him a good snack such as a sandwich or fruit. We finish the day by eating dinner usually by 6pm. That gives him almost two hours to digest his food and get settled for the night. A consistent bedtime is important for our son. He does best when he gets a good night's sleep.

As you can see, these "special diets" are not very extreme. They are actually good for any kid. They are also good for the entire family. There is plenty of scientific evidence to show that they work. I am sure that any pediatrician would agree that those diets are valid.

Now....I am prepared to talk about the controversial one.... The casein/gluten-free diet. My pediatrician doesn't believe it works. He actually told me that it was just a coincidence! Imagine that... does it surprise you? Well, I am here to tell you that something happened after I started that diet with my daughter. We started with just the milk-free part. I thought it was too extreme to change to no milk and no wheat overnight. We started using soy milk and products. I was surprised at how easy the transition was for my family. Everyone loved the vanilla-flavored soy milk that I got. My daughter didn't love the soy cheese but she ate it. I started to pay more attention to the health food isle and I noticed a lot of products that were available. I also went to a natural health food store and was amazed at the products available. It became more obvious that I wasn't the only one following this "crazy" diet.

I did my research on this diet and found a lot of proof that it works. I found numerous doctors who believe in it and who have a good explanation. My neurologist had told me that in some kids milk turns into a morphine-like substance in the brain. This could explain why my daughter slept so much. I have to look at all possibilities when it comes to my daughter since she has a metabolic problem and there are a lot of factors involved. As I said before, my pediatrician did not give credit to the diet. He said it was a coincidence. He asked me if I took her off of it, and I said that eventually I did. He responded, "See...that tells you right there that it wasn't the diet!" Well... let me ask you all this: if you have child who is having trouble speaking and you begin speech therapy and they start speaking better, does that mean that the speech therapy worked? Or is it a coincidence? Is there any way to prove it? My answer is that there is no way to prove that speech therapy works. People could say that given time the child would have learned to speak...right? There is also no way to prove that this diet works. It just does!!! However, I do have to say that it doesn't work with all kids. I think it's because not all kids are affected by milk in the same way.

I could go into all the medical information about how the diet works. However, I think there is a doctor that explains it better than I ever could. I found him one day on "youtube". I must say that he does have a lab and so he does have some vested interest in "selling" his ideas. However, my neurologist also told me the same information and he was just a doctor... not a philanthropist. This is the link to the clip and I urge you to watch it. It's not very long and it is very informative: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7op0m8BtmY
He explains delayed food allergies. He feels autism is an autoimmune disease. He thinks it's partly due to too many vaccines too soon. The target organs are the brain and the gut. He feels timing of vaccines is critical in some children. He doesn't think that vaccines should be one-size fits all. He feels it's critical to figure out the allergens that cause problems and he has a lab that can test for that. Early diagnosis and treatment before age of 3 is critical. That is why I think ALL parents of children with autism should be educated. The earlier they get started the better the chances. Dr. Dan explains that if there is a chance of autism then don't wait for a diagnosis that might not come until the age of 4 or 5. Start NOW! His site to find out more information on testing can be found at: www.sagemedlab.com
I am planning on trying to get that done with my son and I will try and keep you posted on what I find out and if I am successful. I am sure my doctor will not make it easy for me. I wish I still worked at the lab because I could easily have my children's blood drawn and do it myself. I think it would be a good thing to do that for all my children. There is still so much we don't know about food and the way it affects the brain. I just wish that someone had all the answers.
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I know the truth will one day come,
although it's already come for some.
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To label or not to label? That is the question.

I think this post is long overdue. Numerous people have commented on how they are afraid to label their child. I have to admit that at one time I was among those numbers. The problem is that people fear that once you label a child then they have to carry that with them for the rest of their lives. Well.... if you are wrongly diagnosed then I agree that is a problem. However, if your child DOES have a legitimate condition then you need to weigh the pros and cons. I am prepared to discuss those with you.

I will start with the cons..... If you research online you will find numerous sources that discuss the negative effects of labeling on children's self esteem and potential. You will read warnings to parents and teachers about the way sometimes labels will change the way children see themselves. It often will also change the way teachers and parents treat children and their expectations. All of these things are legitimate concerns.

I have already discussed how some parents will actually use a diagnosis as an excuse not to parent. I have often seen people make excuses for their children without correcting them because of their condition. The other thing that is a shame is the wrongful use of diagnosis. I had one psychologist tell me that some people in medical school will try and get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD so that they can get the prescription Ritalin and be able to concentrate better for their exams. All it takes is answering the questions correctly on the questionnaire and they can get a diagnosis. Some parents do the same thing to use the drugs to lose weight. That one REALLY shocked me!! I have to admit that I ONCE considered trying out Ritalin (when we were having all the problems with my son) just to see how it made ME feel since my son couldn't talk and tell me. However, I could not do it.... I tried, but my gut told me not to do it. I am so glad that I listened. I am sure there are parents out there who are addicted to it.

Another con is that sometimes children are misdiagnosed. Once you get a certain diagnosis then the "plan of action" goes into effect and it's kind of hard to stop the domino effect that follows. There are so many things that parallel one another. What if you have a child who is "hyper" and also has food allergies? That could easily be diagnosed as ADHD. What about the child who is just a "late bloomer" and is diagnosed as PDD? There are many examples, but I think you get the idea.

Now, what about the pros? The most important thing, in my opinion, is getting treatment and services for your child. Once you have a label then you can get the help you need. Often times you can get free services that are offered at the public school level. Our state has "Early Intervention Services" and it was totally free and helped my children very much. Early intervention is key to helping a child reach their potential. It has been my personal experience that parental involvement in the process is also critical. For example, you can't expect a speech therapist to come to your home once a week or every other week and forget about it. I talked to mine and received valuable information and advice on things I could do in between sessions. I know that is why it worked for us.

Another thing that is helpful when labeling is that you can move forward. When you don't know what you're dealing with then it feels like you are in quicksand just being pulled downward. The harder you try to get out, the deeper you sink. That is exactly how I felt before getting a diagnosis with my #2. Moving forward means that you can now include other people and form a team on behalf of your child. You don't have to do it alone.

Lastly, labeling helps or makes it easier for others who come in contact with your child to understand (sometimes) their behavior. Instead of thinking that your child is being a spoiled bratt or that you are not doing your job as a parent, you can enlighten others to the fact and most people will have a general idea of what you're talking about. For example, today I took my children to gymnastics and ballet. One of the teachers approached me and told me that my #2 was not behaving today and that he would at times run around instead of staying where he was supposed to be. I strongly reprimanded my son (including not letting him have a "treat" after class while his siblings all got treats)... then I could see that there was more because the teacher just kept looking at me and then he said that he had slobbered or spit on the matt and that he just didn't know how to handle that behavior. He then asked me if he was ADD or what? I quickly said, "No...he's not.....BUT...he IS PDD..." He had a puzzled look on his face. I then continued, "Autism?" Then he quickly did an "Oh....I see....." and I explained to him that normally I was at my daughter's ballet section of the building, but that I would make sure I was around next time so that he could just flag me over whenever he misbehaved and we could put him in "time-out". He was happy with that. He was a young kid about sixteen or seventeen and as he turned and walked away I got to thinking about his mannerisms and the way he communicated with me, and I got the feeling that he was probably in the autism spectrum himself. I could tell he was extremely bright, but there was something kind of "off" about him. I can't exactly pinpoint it, but when you've been around it enough, you just know.

Now...what do I think about labeling? In my experience it's been a good thing. I have obtained invaluable help from it. I was able to get my oldest two children into a very good school because of it. I received free services from the state because of it. I feel my children have a better chance of leading a more normal life because of it. Also, I feel it has given me options that I didn't have before. Ironically, narrowing down their issues to a "label" has opened the doors to many possibilities that I had not thought of. Part of this has to do with the fact that I have been exposed to a lot of information that has changed the way I raise and take care of my children. For example, with my oldest I learned that he needed a diet that had less carbs and more protein. In essence, a more healthy diet. That was a positive impact on everyone in our family. When my daughter went to the neurologist who gave me a list of foods she should avoid such as red dye, artificial sweeteners, hot dogs, etc... It was definitely a positive thing for our family. Those are things we should ALL avoid anyway. Then with my #2, we realized that children in the autism spectrum need a more structured environment and consistent discipline. Who DOESN'T need more of that?

I know it's not an easy decision. It is one that can't be made in haste. First, make sure that your child has the proper diagnosis. Secondly, weigh all your options. Lastly, take advantage of all the resources available to you to help your child. Don't look at a label as the person your child is going to be.... look at it as one of your child's challenges that can be overcome.
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"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the
exhilaration of victory." ~ George S. Patton
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"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze
you, they're supposed to help you discover who
you are." ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon
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Special Children in a Public School System

I am tired of hearing how teachers don't have the time dealing with "these" kids. It breaks my heart every time I see them glaring at that ONE child that seems to have a hard time sitting still. Even though I definitely can empathize with their stress and frustration, there is no excuse for the way that some teachers choose to deal with it.


I have a great respect for teachers. I think that it takes a very special kind of person to do it well. You have to have a lot of patience, a tender heart, provide a structured environment, a lot of love to give, and lastly you need understanding. When my first child went to kindergarden I was excited and apprehensive at the same time. I knew it wouldn't be "smooth sailing" and I was anxious about the first week of school. I was praying that he would end up with a good teacher. In all, it turned out to be a good year but it wasn't without struggles and a lot of work. It didn't take me long to figure out that boys are treated differently from girls in school. It's almost like teachers expect boys to misbehave and so they live up to their expectations. Girls are usually the ones that can sit still for long periods of time and enjoy seat work that usually means coloring and crafts. Boys would much rather go outside and play. They also interact differently and you can see that when they are in line and the boys are wrestling with one another while you will often see the girls holding hands.


I have often wondered why are boys more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD? I believe boys outnumber the girls by three times! Schools are not designed for the kids who think outside the box or who have high energy levels. They are not a place where children are encouraged to socialize with one another. They are often asked to be quiet (even during lunch) and they have cut back on recess so much that they only get about 30 minutes (on a good day) of outside play. This means that they spend most of the day indoors. THEN....when they get home they have homework and that leaves very little time for playing outside and being a kid. IF they have any extracurricular activities who knows what time they finally get to bed. Some kids don't get enough sleep. That is a very vicious cycle. For a "normal" child this can be so stressful.....for a "special" child, this doesn't last very long before the parent can't handle it anymore. I see that a lot!

Are public schools prepared for children with Autism or PDD? I don't think so. My feeling is that there is the best of intentions and the people who work in special education are among the sweetest and most dedicated teachers. However, where is their support? I often hear their frustration and their cries for help. I even had a teacher cry on my shoulder because she felt like the school had failed me. You see....with my #2 we had to pull him out and homeschool him. We tried for about a month at our public school and all they could offer me was to place him in a "self-contained" classroom at another school across town. He is high functioning and extremely bright. The only issue we had was his behavior (things such as making "clicking noises" or invading personal space). However, when he had someone with him he would behave perfectly with minimal redirection. I was smart enough to go check out the school they were talking about. Boy.....was I in for a surprise! I will never forget the feeling I got when I walked through the doors of the classroom and I saw some kids were still in diapers, others were drooling, and others who were in "their own little world". I talked with the teacher (who was wonderful by the way) but after I explained my situation she didn't think he belonged there. I was so relieved to finally have someone on my side!

I went back to the school and had another meeting with the teacher, vice-principal, Special Education people, and District Leader. I asked them who was the one who had suggested that my child go to that school. They would not tell me. Their answer was, "well...we all discussed it." I knew exactly who had suggested it.... it was the teacher. She had 21 students in her class and she was overwhelmed. She didn't have the time to "deal" with my child nor the patience. She had her own problems. She told me, "I have twenty others to teach." I told her, "I have only one #2 and he's my baby." She chose to punish him a week at a time and that was unacceptable. How could he remember why he was being isolated after one, two, or even three days?! Now that I know he has short-term memory issues that REALLY upsets me!! He was basically tortured during those weeks. I just wish I could go back in time. I really do!!

I immediately got the paperwork started for the umbrella to homeschool my #2 and I let him finish out the week. I wrote a letter to the principal explaining why I was pulling my child out and I never looked back. I was tired of playing the game. The system is broken and I wasn't going to use my child to fix it. Many people told me that I should not have pulled him out because that's what they wanted. Well....I must say that I feel fortunate that I could. There are so many people who have no choice. I spoke with another parent during a soccer practice (who I later learned was a teacher) whose child was also in my #2's class and we discussed the teacher. He was having issues with her as well. His son was mildly autistic and he would sometimes poke the teacher at eye-level, which unfortunately happened to be her butt, to get her attention. (I witnessed this during one of my visits.) The teacher had a meeting and told the parents that he was being "inappropriate" by touching her. She made it sound like it was of a sexual nature. I was blown away! After speaking to him and all the things he confided in me, I know I did the right thing.

I used the Abeka curriculum with my son and taught him how to read in about a month. I learned that he had a gift for math and we were able to develop that. We used the local YMCA for sports and we put him on a soccer team. We also tried out gymnastics and he was able to make lots of friends and get the social skills he needed. I also gave him piano lessons and learned he had a gift for the piano as well. Needless to say, I saw him blossom before my eyes. We had the best year and when it was over, I gave him a big graduation party to celebrate his achievements.

There is so much more to the story, but I tried to post the highlights. My point is this: don't let your pride get in the way of your decisions. Sometimes fighting to "make a point" is not necessarily the best answer. Try to weigh your options. I understand that homeschooling is not for everyone. Not everyone can afford private school either. If you have the time, observe the classroom. I did that and found out the teacher was snapping at the kids for touching her and she did other things that I found inappropriate. I observed her for a couple weeks. I was shocked at the things I saw. (Like I said, there is lots more to this story.) It's amazing what you will do once the "mama bear" come out in you. I actually surprised myself!

I wish I knew what the answer was. I know every case is different. I have a friend that fought the system and was able to get her child the help he needed. I have another friend who is working with her daughter's school as a substitute teacher to make sure that she doesn't "slip through the cracks". I just know one thing, and that is that the public school system is not designed for all kids. I just hope and pray that someday changes are made and that this vicious cycle doesn't have to be a "norm" anymore!
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Moms are as sweet as honey with their tender care,
but touch their child and watch out for the Mama Bear!!
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Being Your Child's Advocate

I have great respect for doctors. My great-grandfather was a doctor, my great-Uncle was a doctor, and I grew up around them so I know how much dedication it takes and all of that. However, it seems like the profession is changing. Doctors have more patients than they can handle. They also are enticed by pharmaceutical companies with "gifts" and incentives. Also, finding a "family doctor" is hard these days. There are hundreds of specialists and you have to get referrals from the pediatrician or general practioner in order for insurance to cover it. Those are some general observations I have made.

Now....what do I mean when I say you must be "your child's advocate" and why do I feel the need to post this? After going through what I have gone through I am determined to make sure that it doesn't happen to anyone else. I am breaking it down into five rules and I will try to be as brief as possible in explaining each one:

Rule #1: Doctors DO make mistakes. Luckily, I have a medical background and so I know a little bit about drugs and bugs. :) I worked in Chemistry and Microbiology in the laboratory for five years. That means I know a little thing or two about laboratory testing too. When my daughter started to see different doctors I made sure to keep copies of her laboratory testing and made a binder to hold it in. I also started to question doctors when they wanted to repeat testing. It broke my heart everytime she had to get her blood drawn. Not only that, but the insurance company started to give me a hard time about it as well. Make sure that you keep track of what tests they do and ask them why it has to be done. Once I asked the liver specialist why they were repeating a certain test and he came back saying that he didn't realize it had already been done. He went into the computer and was able to obtain it. Don't be afraid to speak up about it. It is your right to know. If the doctor gets perturbed then perhaps you need to find another doctor.

Rule #2: Follow your gut. It is my belief that mothers have been blessed with a special gift. You can call it "motherly instict" or "divine nature". Don't ignore it. There has been soooo many times when my children have been sick and the doctors did not believe me. However, I persisted and lo and behold something WAS wrong. The best example is with my daughter who was finally diagnosed with Wilson's Disease. She had all these abnormal values in her laboratory testing and although she acted and seemed healthy I knew that there was something wrong. I am so glad that I persisted. If I would have listened to the doctors who knows what the outcome would have been. We would have continued to feed her high copper foods and her liver enzymes would have continued to increase. I would have ended up with a very sick child.

Rule #3: There are alternatives to medicine. There are some doctors and parents who don't think twice about administering a drug to a child. Just like you should be careful about what they eat, you should also be cautious about the drugs you give them. Do your research. There are some drugs that are recalled or even have terrible side-effects. I have already posted the information on the ADD drugs my #1 took and all the trouble we had. Also, I think it's important to note that there are many herbal remedies out there and they work! My youngest had really bad teething and my friend gave me some chamomile. It was in liquid form in these plastic capsules. She said she kept them in her purse. Let me tell you......it worked!! I think it is possible to combine traditional medicine and alternative medicine. I do it and it works for me.

Rule #4: Stand firm in what you believe. Right now I believe that vaccines injured three of my four children. I think it's because they were given too many too soon. I have done my research and I don't feel comfortable with the schedule that the doctor wants to follow. I am following a different schedule that I feel good about with my baby. So far he is doing great and he is the healthiest of all my children. There is an epidemic of autism in the world right now. I am trying to educate others (including the doctors) about my experiences. I am hoping that one day someone will listen. I just wish that they would have enough of an open mind to really listen to me. They always just get defensive when I try to talk to them about it and then proceed to use scare tactics to get me to give my baby the 6+ vaccines that are due that day. I also have mothers who feel threatened for some reason. I guess they feel like I am offending them when I say that vaccines can injure some kids. I don't mean to insult anyone.... I just try to warn others of what happened to me. It's not until something hits home that you really take notice. Know what I mean? So....whatever it is that YOU believe, stand firm in your decision. If you know that your child wouldn't benefit then speak up. If you see that they are not taking things as proactive as you'd like then speak up!

Rule #5: Do your research. There are so many resources. You have the library, book stores, the internet, and physicians. Read all that you can. Ask lots of questions. Find out all you can about doctors in your area. Look them up online and find out their history. It doesn't hurt to get a second opinion if you question something. Most people spend days of research and looking when choosing a car. The same care should be taken when choosing a doctor. The best place you can go is usually a Children's Hospital. If there is one in your area then you should consider it. They usually have specialists in many areas and are experienced pediatricians. My daughter has a TEAM of doctors who are caring for her. It is also a great environment and if your child has to spend a lot of time there then you want them to be comfortable.

My final thought is this....don't be afraid to speak up if you don't understand something or if you disagree. The treatment of your child is a team effort. You and your doctor should have the same goal: the well being of your child. However, in the end you know your child better than anyone, and a doctorate is no match for a mother's love.
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A mother's love has no boundaries.
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The ADHD Answer.......NOT!

One of my crusades is also in educating parents about ADHD and what options they have. The only option I was given for my #1 was medicine!! That was it!! They talked a bit about behavior modification but they didn't expand on it. They also warned me that it would take months and possibly a year to figure out how much dosage to give, AND that it could change as he got older. Little did I know.....that was only the beginning.

Let me begin with what I like to call: the "Guinea Pig" treatment. Your child will begin a course of treatment that will entail taking some kind of stimulant such as Ritalin, or Adderall, or now Concerta. IF your child suffers from depression the doctor might even suggest antidepressants. So...then you will begin by taking either the lowest dosage possible and then going up from there or in some cases taking somewhere in the middle and then lowering it. It takes about a month or so before you know if it is working and then you will probably have to adjust it a few times after that. If you have side-effects (which we did) then you will have to change drugs and start ALL over again! Yep....it's a vicious cycle and one that I would not wish on my worst enemy.

I think it's important to let you all know the side-effects that WE encountered. My child was definitely full of energy and loved life. He was extremely smart and at times he was a bit strong-willed. The main reason we had him diagnosed was because when he was three his preschool teachers complained about his inability to sit still and focus. We ignored them at the time because we felt that he was too young for them to expect him to sit still for 30 minutes! However, we decided to look further when he went to Kindergarden and his teacher complained about his inability to sit still for long periods of time and mentioned he had attention deficit issues. We took their advice and got him tested. We were told he had a mild case of ADHD and so we began with Ritalin. Let me tell you, he was a totally different child! He was definitely calmer and seemed to be able to focus better. We saw his handwriting improve dramatically and his art ability was enhanced on the drug. HOWEVER, he also began to exhibit terrible mood swings and lost his appetite. He was a rather skinny kid and so he didn't have a lot of weight to spare. He also was not happy. He seemed to be in a "zombie" state and it just wasn't him. At the time, he couldn't communicate very well and so we couldn't talk about it. He just didn't look or act very happy. We started by lowering his dose and changed to a time-release capsule to make sure he got a steady stream of drug. None of it seemed to help. Then we changed to Adderall. At first I thought this was going to be the "magic bullet". However, it had even worse side-effects. Eventually, he became high strung and would get his feelings hurt very easily. He would cry at the drop of a hat. I felt like he was in a state of depression. He did not eat very well and so continued to lose more weight. His first grade teacher actually told me that she felt he was being "paranoid" about things happening at school. He felt like people were "out to get him" or "talking about him". If that weren't enough.....I noticed one day that he had these dots on his back and realized it was his backbone rubbing against the bed at night and causing bed sores! That was definitely it for me.

Well.....he finished out the first grade in a private school (with medicine, per teacher request). I decided to do a little research on ADHD. I discovered the INTERNET!! It's my new best friend. I just love Google! I also purchased a few books and the one I would totally recommend to people is The ADD Answer By: Frank Lawlis. It's an AWESOME book!! It explains ADD in a way I had never understood before. It also shows that there ARE ways to test for it medically and not just a questionnaire. That is just too biased in my opinion. The book also talks about medicine and how it works in the brain. It also warns that medicine should NOT be used as a LONG-TERM treatment. It also gives you an awesome resource of information concerning diet and how that alone can treat some kids. I never heard anything about that from doctors before. As a matter of fact, after reading the book I realized that my child's diet consisted mainly of carbs. I started to be more conscious about the food he ate and it made the world of difference!!! In the morning, I made him eggs instead of the sweet cereal or poptarts that he just loved. I saw a great improvement in his ability to focus. It was amazing!! Red dye was another trigger. I didn't realize how it affected him!

After much thought and prayer, I decided to homeschool my #1. It was the best decision I could have made. I just didn't want him to go to school during this transitional time for us. I had decided that I was not going to give him any more medicine and I knew if I put him back at school that they would pressure me into doing it. While I homeschooled I was able to focus on his behavior and teach him how to ignore distractions. I found out that the main reason he could not sit still in his seat was because he was bored! He would finish his work and then would get in trouble because he would want to speak to his friends. Also, he was so skinny that I am sure it hurt for him to sit still for too long. (That was something that Frank Lawlis actually experienced and talks about in his book.) There were other things too that I found out about my child. I found out that he would actually listen while doing some of the things the teachers were complaining about. In other words, it looked like he wasn't listening, but he was! There are different kinds of learners and obviously he is not a visual learner at all. He actually did better when his hands were busy. I compare it to the adults who will doodle on a sheet of paper while talking on the phone. It's basically the same thing. He was so smart that he had figured out a way of calming himself down. Unfortunately, it looked like he was not paying attention to the teachers.

To make a loooooong story short..... we were able to complete 2nd and 3rd grade in one year! He was so easy to teach and he was like a sponge absorbing all of the information faster than I could give it to him. I made sure to test him and give him plenty of seat work so that he would be ready for school. When it came time for him to go back to public school, he started in the 4th grade and finished with flying colors without ANY medicine!! He had the best teacher who was strict but very loving. It made the world of difference and I was so proud of him!

I hope this story gives you all the hope of what can be achieved. The moral to my story is to get as educated as you can about your child's condition. If you have a diagnosis then find out what that means. Read books and talk to other parents. Unfortunately, I didn't have any parents to talk to and so I was basically alone in all of this. I just wish I could have had some kind of support or someone to talk to that could relate. It's totally different when you have been down this road before. PLEASE.....consider your options. My wish is that I can spare others from what I went through. It's not fun and it's not worth it. If your child has a mild case of ADD/ADHD then consider changing the diet or making sure he gets enough sleep....limit computer and television time.....Also, I have learned that consistent and loving discipline does wonders! Try it....what do you have to lose?
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A child's loving smile is the best medicine in the world.
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It's a new day!

With all the things I have to do....why in the world would I start up a blog? Well, I think it's because of THAT reason that I feel I must do it. It will be an outlet of sorts for all my inner frustrations mingled with a little bit of wisdom I have acquired over the years. I have so many things I want to tell others and this is a great forum.

My children mean the world to me, but boy....has it been a ride!! I think that I had the best of intentions with each of them, but they don't come with instructions. After a lot of soul searching I eventually learned that we must accept what we are given and sometimes that in itself is the lesson. We can't control everything, and so we must always move forward and look at the bigger picture. Only then will we grow.

Before I begin this mission of mine, I would like to give everyone a synopsis of why I am doing this. I want everyone to know what my motivations are. Even though this will be a long post, I am sure many will have many questions. I plan on answering those eventually and I will include more medical information to back up my claims.

I have been blessed with four children. My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD at the tender age of 3. My husband and I didn't want to believe it and we just dealt with all of the social and misc. issues without any medical intervention. When we felt we had no other option, we turned to medicine. We started the regime and saw our child waste away before our eyes. We no longer had our care-free sweet child but a "zombie" who would have outbursts of anger without any warning. After a year, we decided that medicine was not the answer. We turned to psychologists and neurologists for help and found MANY other options we didn't know about such as diet and behavior modification. We now have an almost twelve year-old child who is doing great in school, is a Star Scout, and is a joy in my life. He still has issues, but they are manageable. I will expand later about our journey with our oldest child in a future post.

My second baby was born healthy and strong. He reached milestones before his older brother such as walking at 9 months. However, at around 2 years of age we saw something happen. He wasn't talking like he should and we knew that something was wrong. (Call it mother's intuition) We talked to the pediatrician and of course they said he's got the "younger brother" syndrome where others talk for him and so he doesn't need to. Of course, I was relieved and so I didn't worry about it. Unfortunately, by the age of three he still wasn't talking very much and I also noticed his fine motor skills were not developing right either. We had him tested and he was diagnosed with PDD (pervasive developmental disorder). My husband and I didn't want to believe that either. However, he did receive the occupational therapy and speech therapy. We saw a great improvement and eventually came to terms with it. We accept that our beautiful, smart, sweet child has high functioning Autism. It has taken me YEARS to accept. However, it just means we have to work THAT much harder with him. I have faith that he will grow up to be a fine young man and do whatever it is that he desires!

My next baby was a girl! I was thrilled and anxious at the same time. Would she be "normal"? Would I have any "issues"? Well...she started off as a normal and healthy baby. As she grew up I tried not to be paranoid. When she didn't walk at 12 months I didn't freak out. She finally walked at 15 months. I was thrilled when at 9 months she said, "Hi Gary!" At least I knew that she would talk. Well, that was short-lived. At around 2 years of age we noticed she was walking on her tip-toes. I thought it was cute, but later I would find out that it was a "symptom". She had started to get interested in potty-training and regressed. She also slept a lot....more than usual. She would take two long naps a day and then go to bed early and sleep until the next day. I have to admit that I was thrilled! Who wouldn't be? I was a busy mom of three and to have that extra time was wonderful! However, her speech was almost gone by the time we had her evaluated. Then came the bombshell....the speech therapist noticed she was having "staring spells" also known as "optic seizures". I had no idea what that was. We sought the help of a neurologist who told us that we needed to do a bunch of tests and figure out what was happening. She was showing some signs of autism but he wasn't going to diagnose her just yet. This was a journey that is not over to this day. This same neurologist told us that it was possible that vaccines may have done injury to our child! Let me repeat that: A MEDICAL DOCTOR TOLD US THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE THAT VACCINES MAY HAVE CAUSED DAMAGE TO OUR DAUGHTER!! WHAT??????!!!! Vaccines are supposed to be safe. Well....let me tell you all that we are misled to believe that giving tons of shots to a little newborn baby is safe. My daughter was only 6 lbs. 2 oz. and she received the equivalent of 16 shots before her first birthday....including a hepatitis B shot before she was a day old! This doctor (I like to call him our guardian angel) tested Sarah and among the tests he found that her copper levels were not normal. Unfortunately, this doctor moved away and we spent the next 2 years trying to convince other doctors and neurologists that something was wrong with our daughter. We FINALLY got her an appointment to a Children's Hospital doctor and we got a diagnosis. She has Wilson's Disease. It's a very rare metabolic disorder and she would haved died if not treated. So....now we had a diagnosis, but unfortunately it did NOT explain her symptoms. The only thing it explained was her elevated liver enzymes and her copper levels. Sadly, none of the doctors want to even touch the vaccine issue. They are all so closed-minded about the topic. We have filed a suit with the Omnibus Trial hearing and I will definitely keep you all updated on that.

My fourth baby was born healthy, strong, and eager to get here. I literally did not have to push him out. He was born in less than 15 mins. from the time I reached the hospital and he actually looked up at me with his arms outstretched. In the first few minutes of his life I knew he was smart. I could see it in his eyes. My husband and I had a plan with this baby. We knew he would be our last and we weren't going to make the same mistake with him. We told the nurse, "We don't want him to get ANY shots!" She looked at us as if we were insane. "No shots?" I nodded. Then I whispered to Gary, "Follow her... I don't trust her." And guess what? She was actually going to give him the HEPATITIS B vaccine!! If Gary had not stopped them, they would have administered it to him. (Thank goodness for mommy instincts, huh?) He came home jaundiced and we had to put him in the biliblanket. His nickname was "gloworm". We had a heck of time getting him to eat. I tried to nurse him and he started to not want to suck. I was so scared. It happened really quickly, but he dropped down about 3 pounds in a couple weeks! I was taking him in for bilirubin check AND had a nurse come every day to see him and test him and NONE of us noticed how much weight he had lost! It was insane!! He ended up in the hospital for a couple days with dehydration and was lethargic. I thought I was going to lose him! Once home, we had to treat him like a preemie. I had to milk the nipple on the bottle (yes...I decided to pump and supplement with formula) and I had to do this every TWO hours! I didn't get any sleep during that time and so to be honest, I don't remember much. All I know is that he is so healthy and strong now... still picky eater, but healthy. We worked out a much safer vaccine schedule and he is doing great. He is 2 1/2 and is talking more than my others at 3 1/2. He is socially on target and doing great in preschool. The teachers just love him. They told me the other day that he is good at following directions! Imagine that.... a two year old who follows directions?!!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions...... however, I have proof that something happened to my babies. I vaccinated my first three "on schedule" and they all have problems. I waited for our fourth to be two months before giving him ANY vaccines. At that point I only gave him one and made sure that he didn't have any reactions (such as fever, fussiness, or swelling) before giving him the next one a couple months later. There are some vaccines that I am still debating in my head about such as the chicken pox vaccine. I don't know if it's worth the risk. I am definitely NOT giving him the hepatitis vaccine. That one is totally insane. He is healthy and "normal" in every way. You tell me....what other explanation is there for the cause of problems with my other three? My doctors tried to say there are environmental toxins, etc... However, my youngest has been exposed to the same "environmental toxins". What about diet? Well...my youngest actually is a picky eater so that's definitely not it. Let's see.....what about genetics? Well....they all have the same mom and dad.

I believe that genetics does play a role in all of this. I think that in some children they are born with the inability to clear out all of the toxins in the vaccines. I have medical proof in Sarah's laboratory results that her ceruloplasmin is low and so she can't get rid of copper among other things. Who knows what deficiencies the other kids may have? Also, who's to say that there aren't millions of kids who have health issues caused by vaccines but doctors are not willing to look into it? All they look for are "adverse reactions" and even then...they won't report them unless it happens right after the vaccine was given. What if there is a cummulative effect with vaccines? Maybe one vaccine doesn't do harm, but then the next one is given before the baby's body can clear out the previous toxins and then you give then a THIRD shot and a fourth, and so on......

The truth of the matter is that no matter how good a parent you are, if your child has autism, ADHD, or other issues you feel like a failure. You see.....my children don't have Down's Syndrome or any obvious trait that would let others know. When I go somewhere and my seven year-old is eager or anxious, I have to be careful and mindful about how he may react to things. Instead of using his words, he may react like a three year-old. How do you explain THAT to other parents? In their eyes they see a big boy (who actually looks like he's at least 8 years old) who just pushed their five year-old out of the way as he was trying to get to something on the other side of the room. We work on impulsivity and dealing with emotions on a daily basis. Our work is never done.

I am grateful for a wonderful husband who supports me and loves me. He also is the most patient man you will ever meet. I know that having special needs children is hard on the moms, but dads are often overlooked. It takes a patient and loving hand to guide children, but it also takes a lot of discipline in the form of structure and positive reinforcement. Spanking and yelling at kids only makes the parents feel better. It will resolve the problem temporarily, but if you are trying to teach a child how to deal with life situations then you have to teach them in a way that they will learn those skills. Now...don't get me wrong, we spank...but that is not our main form of discipline. Besides, in this day and age you can't spank a child in public anyways....so what would you do if you were at the store and your child acted out? Spank him in the van? NOPE! You'll get caught on video and wind up on CNN.

There is lots more information that I would love to share with you, but I fear I have written a book already. In the future, I will give you all information I have learned in my two years of research on vaccines, and I will hopefully spare many of you the grief and pain of diagnosing and treating children with Wilson's Disease.

For now, I will just exhale and tell myself, "It's a new day!"

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Hug your littles ones today (if you haven't already) and tell them how much you love them.
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