It's a new day!

With all the things I have to do....why in the world would I start up a blog? Well, I think it's because of THAT reason that I feel I must do it. It will be an outlet of sorts for all my inner frustrations mingled with a little bit of wisdom I have acquired over the years. I have so many things I want to tell others and this is a great forum.

My children mean the world to me, but boy....has it been a ride!! I think that I had the best of intentions with each of them, but they don't come with instructions. After a lot of soul searching I eventually learned that we must accept what we are given and sometimes that in itself is the lesson. We can't control everything, and so we must always move forward and look at the bigger picture. Only then will we grow.

Before I begin this mission of mine, I would like to give everyone a synopsis of why I am doing this. I want everyone to know what my motivations are. Even though this will be a long post, I am sure many will have many questions. I plan on answering those eventually and I will include more medical information to back up my claims.

I have been blessed with four children. My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD at the tender age of 3. My husband and I didn't want to believe it and we just dealt with all of the social and misc. issues without any medical intervention. When we felt we had no other option, we turned to medicine. We started the regime and saw our child waste away before our eyes. We no longer had our care-free sweet child but a "zombie" who would have outbursts of anger without any warning. After a year, we decided that medicine was not the answer. We turned to psychologists and neurologists for help and found MANY other options we didn't know about such as diet and behavior modification. We now have an almost twelve year-old child who is doing great in school, is a Star Scout, and is a joy in my life. He still has issues, but they are manageable. I will expand later about our journey with our oldest child in a future post.

My second baby was born healthy and strong. He reached milestones before his older brother such as walking at 9 months. However, at around 2 years of age we saw something happen. He wasn't talking like he should and we knew that something was wrong. (Call it mother's intuition) We talked to the pediatrician and of course they said he's got the "younger brother" syndrome where others talk for him and so he doesn't need to. Of course, I was relieved and so I didn't worry about it. Unfortunately, by the age of three he still wasn't talking very much and I also noticed his fine motor skills were not developing right either. We had him tested and he was diagnosed with PDD (pervasive developmental disorder). My husband and I didn't want to believe that either. However, he did receive the occupational therapy and speech therapy. We saw a great improvement and eventually came to terms with it. We accept that our beautiful, smart, sweet child has high functioning Autism. It has taken me YEARS to accept. However, it just means we have to work THAT much harder with him. I have faith that he will grow up to be a fine young man and do whatever it is that he desires!

My next baby was a girl! I was thrilled and anxious at the same time. Would she be "normal"? Would I have any "issues"? Well...she started off as a normal and healthy baby. As she grew up I tried not to be paranoid. When she didn't walk at 12 months I didn't freak out. She finally walked at 15 months. I was thrilled when at 9 months she said, "Hi Gary!" At least I knew that she would talk. Well, that was short-lived. At around 2 years of age we noticed she was walking on her tip-toes. I thought it was cute, but later I would find out that it was a "symptom". She had started to get interested in potty-training and regressed. She also slept a lot....more than usual. She would take two long naps a day and then go to bed early and sleep until the next day. I have to admit that I was thrilled! Who wouldn't be? I was a busy mom of three and to have that extra time was wonderful! However, her speech was almost gone by the time we had her evaluated. Then came the bombshell....the speech therapist noticed she was having "staring spells" also known as "optic seizures". I had no idea what that was. We sought the help of a neurologist who told us that we needed to do a bunch of tests and figure out what was happening. She was showing some signs of autism but he wasn't going to diagnose her just yet. This was a journey that is not over to this day. This same neurologist told us that it was possible that vaccines may have done injury to our child! Let me repeat that: A MEDICAL DOCTOR TOLD US THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE THAT VACCINES MAY HAVE CAUSED DAMAGE TO OUR DAUGHTER!! WHAT??????!!!! Vaccines are supposed to be safe. Well....let me tell you all that we are misled to believe that giving tons of shots to a little newborn baby is safe. My daughter was only 6 lbs. 2 oz. and she received the equivalent of 16 shots before her first birthday....including a hepatitis B shot before she was a day old! This doctor (I like to call him our guardian angel) tested Sarah and among the tests he found that her copper levels were not normal. Unfortunately, this doctor moved away and we spent the next 2 years trying to convince other doctors and neurologists that something was wrong with our daughter. We FINALLY got her an appointment to a Children's Hospital doctor and we got a diagnosis. She has Wilson's Disease. It's a very rare metabolic disorder and she would haved died if not treated. So....now we had a diagnosis, but unfortunately it did NOT explain her symptoms. The only thing it explained was her elevated liver enzymes and her copper levels. Sadly, none of the doctors want to even touch the vaccine issue. They are all so closed-minded about the topic. We have filed a suit with the Omnibus Trial hearing and I will definitely keep you all updated on that.

My fourth baby was born healthy, strong, and eager to get here. I literally did not have to push him out. He was born in less than 15 mins. from the time I reached the hospital and he actually looked up at me with his arms outstretched. In the first few minutes of his life I knew he was smart. I could see it in his eyes. My husband and I had a plan with this baby. We knew he would be our last and we weren't going to make the same mistake with him. We told the nurse, "We don't want him to get ANY shots!" She looked at us as if we were insane. "No shots?" I nodded. Then I whispered to Gary, "Follow her... I don't trust her." And guess what? She was actually going to give him the HEPATITIS B vaccine!! If Gary had not stopped them, they would have administered it to him. (Thank goodness for mommy instincts, huh?) He came home jaundiced and we had to put him in the biliblanket. His nickname was "gloworm". We had a heck of time getting him to eat. I tried to nurse him and he started to not want to suck. I was so scared. It happened really quickly, but he dropped down about 3 pounds in a couple weeks! I was taking him in for bilirubin check AND had a nurse come every day to see him and test him and NONE of us noticed how much weight he had lost! It was insane!! He ended up in the hospital for a couple days with dehydration and was lethargic. I thought I was going to lose him! Once home, we had to treat him like a preemie. I had to milk the nipple on the bottle (yes...I decided to pump and supplement with formula) and I had to do this every TWO hours! I didn't get any sleep during that time and so to be honest, I don't remember much. All I know is that he is so healthy and strong now... still picky eater, but healthy. We worked out a much safer vaccine schedule and he is doing great. He is 2 1/2 and is talking more than my others at 3 1/2. He is socially on target and doing great in preschool. The teachers just love him. They told me the other day that he is good at following directions! Imagine that.... a two year old who follows directions?!!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions...... however, I have proof that something happened to my babies. I vaccinated my first three "on schedule" and they all have problems. I waited for our fourth to be two months before giving him ANY vaccines. At that point I only gave him one and made sure that he didn't have any reactions (such as fever, fussiness, or swelling) before giving him the next one a couple months later. There are some vaccines that I am still debating in my head about such as the chicken pox vaccine. I don't know if it's worth the risk. I am definitely NOT giving him the hepatitis vaccine. That one is totally insane. He is healthy and "normal" in every way. You tell me....what other explanation is there for the cause of problems with my other three? My doctors tried to say there are environmental toxins, etc... However, my youngest has been exposed to the same "environmental toxins". What about diet? Well...my youngest actually is a picky eater so that's definitely not it. Let's see.....what about genetics? Well....they all have the same mom and dad.

I believe that genetics does play a role in all of this. I think that in some children they are born with the inability to clear out all of the toxins in the vaccines. I have medical proof in Sarah's laboratory results that her ceruloplasmin is low and so she can't get rid of copper among other things. Who knows what deficiencies the other kids may have? Also, who's to say that there aren't millions of kids who have health issues caused by vaccines but doctors are not willing to look into it? All they look for are "adverse reactions" and even then...they won't report them unless it happens right after the vaccine was given. What if there is a cummulative effect with vaccines? Maybe one vaccine doesn't do harm, but then the next one is given before the baby's body can clear out the previous toxins and then you give then a THIRD shot and a fourth, and so on......

The truth of the matter is that no matter how good a parent you are, if your child has autism, ADHD, or other issues you feel like a failure. You see.....my children don't have Down's Syndrome or any obvious trait that would let others know. When I go somewhere and my seven year-old is eager or anxious, I have to be careful and mindful about how he may react to things. Instead of using his words, he may react like a three year-old. How do you explain THAT to other parents? In their eyes they see a big boy (who actually looks like he's at least 8 years old) who just pushed their five year-old out of the way as he was trying to get to something on the other side of the room. We work on impulsivity and dealing with emotions on a daily basis. Our work is never done.

I am grateful for a wonderful husband who supports me and loves me. He also is the most patient man you will ever meet. I know that having special needs children is hard on the moms, but dads are often overlooked. It takes a patient and loving hand to guide children, but it also takes a lot of discipline in the form of structure and positive reinforcement. Spanking and yelling at kids only makes the parents feel better. It will resolve the problem temporarily, but if you are trying to teach a child how to deal with life situations then you have to teach them in a way that they will learn those skills. Now...don't get me wrong, we spank...but that is not our main form of discipline. Besides, in this day and age you can't spank a child in public anyways....so what would you do if you were at the store and your child acted out? Spank him in the van? NOPE! You'll get caught on video and wind up on CNN.

There is lots more information that I would love to share with you, but I fear I have written a book already. In the future, I will give you all information I have learned in my two years of research on vaccines, and I will hopefully spare many of you the grief and pain of diagnosing and treating children with Wilson's Disease.

For now, I will just exhale and tell myself, "It's a new day!"

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Hug your littles ones today (if you haven't already) and tell them how much you love them.
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