Speech Delay Doesn't Always Mean Autism

This post is to help relieve some of the paranoia associated with speech delay. Just because your child is delayed in speech, it does not mean that they are either mentally retarded or that they have autism.

Everyone is familiar with the story of Albert Einstein. He had speech delays and problems as a child. He also almost flunked out of school because he was interested in only math and not the other subjects. It's important to put things in perspective. You have to look at the entire child and not just one aspect. The biggest issue I have with some parents and society as a whole is that they expect kids to excel in ALL areas. This is an unfair expectation. Not all of us excel at everything. It's part of what makes this world an interesting place.

When my oldest was three and still could not speak in sentences I was so worried. He barely could communicate and it was so frustrating. I ended up taking him to a Speech Therapy clinic and paid a LOT of money. Unfortunately, I did not know about Early Intervention Services and so I missed out on the opportunity. It is so important to find out what is available in your area. There are numerous services available and usually it is not only for low-income families.

Let me explain what speech therapy is all about. Many people are under the impression that it is only about sounds and being able to physically talk. However, this is only a small part of it. In speech therapy they teach how to communicate. They teach concepts and how to follow directions. Depending on the age of the child, they work on their weaknesses and help develop the confidence needed for success in school. If they are a good speech therapist you will find that they will also teach you things you can do at home to help your child. They are full of information and tips that can supplement the sessions. Some of the tips I was given were: 1) make your child at least attempt to speak before giving them what they want, 2) praise your child if they make ANY attempt to talk, 3) at a young age you can teach them sign language and animal sounds, 4) use descriptive words and don't use "baby talk" when speaking to your child. Those were just a handful of suggestions I received. Don't be afraid to test you child. It's better to know and the earlier the better.

What are the warning signs that you should look out for? How do you know if they are just "late bloomers" or if they truly have a problem. The biggest indicator for me was the "frustration meter". If a child is getting frustrated and anxious because they can't communicate then you need to take action. Sometimes it is so hard to tell the difference between a child who is just stubborn or lazy and doesn't want to talk, versus a child who truly cannot communicate their needs or wants. I was hoping with each of my children that they would somehow catch up on their own and that I wouldn't need to intervene. However, my oldest three required intervention and they all were ready by the time they entered school.

I am struggling right now with my two year old because he is so stubborn. Of course, since all my children have required speech therapy, I almost expect him to need it too. I wish I knew what to do. I just don't want to be paranoid and not to mention that the process is something that takes a lot of time and effort. One of the hardest things for me is that he is so far advanced compared to my other three kids. He has been tested for milestones (which includes speech) at his school and they said he is doing great. My gut tells me that he is fine, but my mind keeps worrying. This is when I am reminded about how healing this blog is for me. I don't pretend to know all the answers. I just hope to share my journey with you, and if our roads meet at some points along the way then we can compare notes.

Keeping a watchful eye on your child's development is crucial. It is also a good thing to have others help you in the process. Sometimes other people, especially teachers, might notice something that you had not thought of. So far, I have not noticed my two year-old to be delayed enough to have him tested. I just know (from experience) that he wouldn't qualify for the Early Intervention Program because he is not delayed enough. They recently lowered the standards (which is definitely not a good thing). He has a great vocabulary (too many words to count)and he can follow directions. He also is doing great at school and so that reassures me that he is doing okay for now. At his school they test for developmental milestones and he has either met or exceeded all areas. I continue to track his progress through checklists and milestone information. This is a great one I found recently and it's in PDF format so you can print it off if you'd like: http://www.deforest.k12.wi.us/files/EPES%20PDFs/Sue%20Miller%20pdfs/SLP_Brochure_small.pdf
Keep in mind that the sites that are geared towards advertising for speech therapy services will have more stringent and expanded lists. It's been my experience that the simpler the list, the better to keep track of. I will definitely keep you updated on my baby's progress as time goes on.

It's important to know the warning signs to look out for. Some of the warning signs that I noticed with my own children were: they cannot follow simple directions, they seem as if they don't hear you, they don't respond to their name being called, they don't know the names of members of their family, their vocabulary is very low or else they just repeat words when they hear them,they have problems playing with kids their age because of the communication deficit, and lastly you (the parent) cannot understand your child most of the time. That last one is a big tip-off. If YOU can't understand your child, then you know that others cannot understand him. That is crucial in school, social settings, and life in general.

Speech delay often leads to social delays. That is why I wanted to post this. A lot of parents worry about autism at this point. There are many factors that you have to look at in order to consider autism. It's not just a simple speech deficit. If only it were that easy! Think about this... if you cannot communicate then you can't learn to share, make friends, take turns, or learn vital social skills. If left untreated, a child who can't communicate will often suffer from depression, low self-esteem, and have many other problems. It's a vicious cycle. My advice is to get your child tested if you suspect they have speech delays. One thing I have been advised to do is check their hearing as well. Sometimes they might have fluid in the ear and that could muffle sounds and make it difficult for them to hear. Also, there are numerous websites that offer screening tools for parents. Here is a good one I found (just click on the appropriate age): http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/speechandlanguage.asp#mychild

Believe me, I understand your concern when it comes to testing and such. I also know the stress involved in having to take your child and the hours of waiting and dealing with siblings. It's just better to know and have the reassurance. I've had people ask me, "how do you know that they wouldn't have just learned to speak eventually anyway?" Well... my answer is that I DON'T know for sure, but I DO know that if it weren't for speech therapy I wouldn't have found out my daughter had Wilson's Disease and that my #2 had PDD. That in itself was worth all the trouble for me.
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Without communication we wouldn't have
love. Without love we wouldn't have
humanity. Without humanity we wouldn't
have life, but rather a simple existence
built upon needs and wants alone.
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