My Dog Doesn't Bite... But My Child Sure Does!

My #2 is nine years old now. He has ADHD, PDD, and Tourette's. At first glance you really can't tell there is anything wrong with him. However, after just a few minutes you will be able to spot a lot of energy and then odd behavior and sounds. He doesn't always "misbehave" and I am so thankful for that. He is a very sweet and smart child. I truly enjoy spending time with him.

The reason I decided to post this was that I feel like sometimes we make some progress only to find out that there are other issues that we did not know about. It's almost like we take one step forward and two steps back. It's so hard to explain. Those of you who have been in my shoes understand exactly what I mean... it's the unpredictable and irrational behaviors that sometimes pop out of nowhere.

First things first.... we decided to finally get a diagnosis for our #2. He has always been labeled as "PDD-NOS" and I thought that was such a generic label. I decided to take him to a psychologist a few months back before school started and they FINALLY diagnosed him with the three aforementioned labels. I have to admit that I am not big on labels. However, as I have mentioned in the past it is important to do that in order to establish an ILP (Individualized Learning Program). If we don't know what his weaknesses are then there is no way we can help him with his strengths. For example, if we would have known about his Tourette's then perhaps his Kindergarten teacher might have been able to better understand his sounds during naptime and grunting and coughing sounds he made during instructional time. She MIGHT have been a little more understanding.

We started medication before school started. Right now he is taking 18 mg of Concerta and it works great for him. I can tell when it is working and when it has worn off or we forget to give it to him. The difference is amazing! I have been hesitant to start him on any drugs because of what we went through with my oldest. However, my #2 has had NO side-effects or any other issues on this drug. As a matter of fact, his ticks are controlled (even though I have read numerous sources that say the drug sometimes aggravates the ticks). I am convinced that the reason the drug works for him is that it's a low dose and we waited for him to be a little older before giving it to him so he is better able to communicate with us. That is so critical!

We recently adopted a nine month-old puppy and it has been a wonderful thing for our family. I am excited about the opportunity to teach all my children responsibility and how to treat an animal. So far it has been a positive experience. However, I am beginning to wonder if some of the animal's behavior is not rubbing off on my kids. For example, my youngest has decided to go outside to go potty! This includes going #2....which adds another disgusting element to the equation since the dog will find it and eat it!! Also, my #2 began biting other children a few weeks ago. That is a new behavior that we had not had to deal with since he was a toddler. What posseses a nine year-old to bite? The circumstances have led me to believe that perhaps he was overstimulated and very frustrated at that moment. However that is no consolation to the parents of the victims. Also, it's definitely very embarrassing to me as a mother.... especially when I get the dreaded phone call. How in the world do you explain that one?

I have definitely grown thicker skin over the years. However, the fact is that it's never easy when your child inflicts pain on others. I remember when my oldest came home with bite marks on his shoulder from daycare. I was so upset!! NOW... here I am on the other end. It definitely puts things into perspective. You just never know what your child is capable of. That is why it's so important to keep an open mind when it comes to a child's behavior. It's so easy to jump to conclusions. I am sure that the parents thought my child was either being a bully or wanting to hurt their child on purpose. They didn't realize that my child was not thinking before he acted. He was being impulsive and I tried to explain my child's challenges and that we were trying to stay on top of things. I reassured them that he was reprimanded and to NEVER hesitate to let me know if it happened again. I think it's so important for parents to know that I am not one of those parents who makes excuses for my child. However, I also feel it's more important for them to know that my child is not typical and that the circumstances are a little different. I try to educate people every opportunity that I can. They don't really know me and they don't know my child. That is definitely a big obstacle. I just see it as a challenge. I am just thankful for the spirit of kindness that these parents showed me. I didn't feel like they were putting blame on me as a parent. They accepted my apology and reassured me that their children were okay.

I will continue to advocate for my children and their challenges. I know that these trials I have now will become blessings for others in the future. I have already had opportunities to help others who are going through similar things. In a future post I will share some of those stories with you. I think they are important to share so that we ALL can learn from them.
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God bless you all!!
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