My Dog Doesn't Bite... But My Child Sure Does!

My #2 is nine years old now. He has ADHD, PDD, and Tourette's. At first glance you really can't tell there is anything wrong with him. However, after just a few minutes you will be able to spot a lot of energy and then odd behavior and sounds. He doesn't always "misbehave" and I am so thankful for that. He is a very sweet and smart child. I truly enjoy spending time with him.

The reason I decided to post this was that I feel like sometimes we make some progress only to find out that there are other issues that we did not know about. It's almost like we take one step forward and two steps back. It's so hard to explain. Those of you who have been in my shoes understand exactly what I mean... it's the unpredictable and irrational behaviors that sometimes pop out of nowhere.

First things first.... we decided to finally get a diagnosis for our #2. He has always been labeled as "PDD-NOS" and I thought that was such a generic label. I decided to take him to a psychologist a few months back before school started and they FINALLY diagnosed him with the three aforementioned labels. I have to admit that I am not big on labels. However, as I have mentioned in the past it is important to do that in order to establish an ILP (Individualized Learning Program). If we don't know what his weaknesses are then there is no way we can help him with his strengths. For example, if we would have known about his Tourette's then perhaps his Kindergarten teacher might have been able to better understand his sounds during naptime and grunting and coughing sounds he made during instructional time. She MIGHT have been a little more understanding.

We started medication before school started. Right now he is taking 18 mg of Concerta and it works great for him. I can tell when it is working and when it has worn off or we forget to give it to him. The difference is amazing! I have been hesitant to start him on any drugs because of what we went through with my oldest. However, my #2 has had NO side-effects or any other issues on this drug. As a matter of fact, his ticks are controlled (even though I have read numerous sources that say the drug sometimes aggravates the ticks). I am convinced that the reason the drug works for him is that it's a low dose and we waited for him to be a little older before giving it to him so he is better able to communicate with us. That is so critical!

We recently adopted a nine month-old puppy and it has been a wonderful thing for our family. I am excited about the opportunity to teach all my children responsibility and how to treat an animal. So far it has been a positive experience. However, I am beginning to wonder if some of the animal's behavior is not rubbing off on my kids. For example, my youngest has decided to go outside to go potty! This includes going #2....which adds another disgusting element to the equation since the dog will find it and eat it!! Also, my #2 began biting other children a few weeks ago. That is a new behavior that we had not had to deal with since he was a toddler. What posseses a nine year-old to bite? The circumstances have led me to believe that perhaps he was overstimulated and very frustrated at that moment. However that is no consolation to the parents of the victims. Also, it's definitely very embarrassing to me as a mother.... especially when I get the dreaded phone call. How in the world do you explain that one?

I have definitely grown thicker skin over the years. However, the fact is that it's never easy when your child inflicts pain on others. I remember when my oldest came home with bite marks on his shoulder from daycare. I was so upset!! NOW... here I am on the other end. It definitely puts things into perspective. You just never know what your child is capable of. That is why it's so important to keep an open mind when it comes to a child's behavior. It's so easy to jump to conclusions. I am sure that the parents thought my child was either being a bully or wanting to hurt their child on purpose. They didn't realize that my child was not thinking before he acted. He was being impulsive and I tried to explain my child's challenges and that we were trying to stay on top of things. I reassured them that he was reprimanded and to NEVER hesitate to let me know if it happened again. I think it's so important for parents to know that I am not one of those parents who makes excuses for my child. However, I also feel it's more important for them to know that my child is not typical and that the circumstances are a little different. I try to educate people every opportunity that I can. They don't really know me and they don't know my child. That is definitely a big obstacle. I just see it as a challenge. I am just thankful for the spirit of kindness that these parents showed me. I didn't feel like they were putting blame on me as a parent. They accepted my apology and reassured me that their children were okay.

I will continue to advocate for my children and their challenges. I know that these trials I have now will become blessings for others in the future. I have already had opportunities to help others who are going through similar things. In a future post I will share some of those stories with you. I think they are important to share so that we ALL can learn from them.
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God bless you all!!
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Confessions of a Stressed Out Mom

1)I found another use for the stress ball.... try throwing it at your child. It's far more effective and it won't leave any marks.
2)If your children refuse to take a bath or shower then just spray them with Febreeze... They will smell SOOOOO refreshing!
3)It's harder for a teacher to be mad at your child after receiving a present. We do it frequently!
4)We often eat our dinners in reverse and skip our "dessert".
5)Try using your expired coupons at Chick Fil-A. They actually accept them!
6)I don't stress out about my youngest losing his shoes at church anymore.... We just conveniently forget to put them on every Sunday.
7)I love uniforms. My children can wear them overnight and the following day and no one will ever know....definitely saves time in the mornings! (Don't forget the Febreeze.)
8)I definitely believe in "group baths" and "group showers" for that matter.
9)I love onions and my kids do not... so I lie all the time about the ingredients in my dishes. They usually believe me.
10)Last but not least, even though motherhood is stressful I have to admit that I would not have it any other way.

Autism Rate Has Increased to 1:100

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-10-05-autism-increase_N.htm

The statistics don't lie. The rate of autism is on the rise. How many will it take before the government takes action? Do they not realize that these "children" with autism will become adults with autism? Do they not realize how much money this epidemic will cost ALL of us?

Although there seems to be a disagreement as to the CAUSE of autism, the fact is that the rate of autism in the United States is steadily increasing. The article states that the rate of autism has increased to 1:100.... however, it is actually more like 1:95. I have a very important question for you all to think about. What IS autism? I believe there is a disagreement among the medical community AND parents as to what autism truly is. Some parents believe that autism is vaccine injury. There are others who believe that children are born with the gene for autism but there are environmental triggers. There are yet others who believe that if a child is exposed to enough toxins then their bodies cannot get rid of them and they end up with autism or other disorders in the spectrum. MY thought is the following: they are ALL right!!

I have written enough about my thoughts on the matter. However, I wanted to make something clear. I don't quit reading books or looking up information. Therefore, my knowledge is constantly building and expanding. Right now I am reading a book entitled: Healing and Preventing Autism written by Jenny McCarthy and Dr. Jerry Kartzinel. I have to admit that honestly I am not a fan of Jenny McCarthy, but I am SO thankful for all that she has done to expose the truth about vaccine safety. I am also SO thankful for all the doctors who have come forward and admitted to the world that there are things beyond what is taught in medical school. I believe that there are numerous treatment options now available to parents with autism because of Jenny and doctors who have supported her cause. The book is FULL of information and I will definitely write about it in a future post.
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The statistics are alarming. However,
what concerns me most is the way it is
being ignored.
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Some Food for Thought

I consider myself an advocate for many causes. However, one thing that joins us all together is the fact that if we didn't live in this country and had the freedoms that we enjoy, our lives would be totally different. I NEVER take that for granted. Another thing to consider is the fact that many of you reading this have medical insurance. Although it might not be the best, at least we have it. Many in this country do not.

I have been doing some reading and research lately about the health care crisis and what is happening to our country. Although this blog focuses mainly on the health and care of children, I thought this post would be more than appropriate.

The following are some questions that we should all ask ourselves. If you haven't thought about these issues then I would encourage you to do so.
1) How do you feel about our health care in the United States?
2) Does your state representative KNOW how you feel about what is happening?
3) Do you know your rights concerning health insurance and coverage for your family?
4) Is it fair that the people who work in Congress have wonderful coverage and their choices concerning health care don't affect them?
5) Would it bother you to find out how much money is being spent on frivolous projects and research.... knowing that YOU are paying for it?
6) How much money is spent on illegal immigrants? (The answer will shock you!) Check out the answer at: http://kevincolby.com/2008/07/27/the-cost-of-illegal-immigrants-to-the-american-taxpayer/
7) What would you do if your child needed surgery and the hospital denied it due to insurance not covering it?
8) Can a medical insurance company legally drop your coverage without cause?
9) Who pays the bill for those people who don't have insurance or who don't have the money to pay their medical bills?

I could keep going, but I hope this gives you all some food for thought. I promise you that the more you find out about what is happening, the angrier you will become. There is so much corruption and lack of common sense in Washington. It's unreal how blinded we have become as a nation. We need to wake up and see what is happening. We've become a nation where the few or minority have the stronger voice. Case in point: I know for a fact that the majority of the children in my daughter's school are Christian and yet they can't have "Christmas Parties" since that would offend someone. They end up having to change the name to "Holiday Party" and they can not be centered around Christmas. What???!!
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If we sit back and let others decide our fate
then we don't have a right to complain. Now
is the time to decide where you stand and do
something about it.
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The H1N1 Flu Vaccine Dilemma

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=5237185n

This is the link to a very interesting CBS investigative report concerning the H1N1 vaccine. I love it when a doctor has the same thought process I do concerning vaccines. It's so refreshing to hear someone in the medical community admit the truth about vaccines.

Enjoy!!

The Truth About Friendship

This post was inspired by my Relief Society lesson we had last Sunday. It was taught by one of my friends and I learned so much from it. I wanted to share some of my thoughts on friendship and how important it is to me.

The truth about friends is that you have no control over who you "click" with and who you don't. I know we can be more outgoing and try to put ourselves in situations where we can make friends, but in the end it's something far deeper and spiritual that guides our paths and joins us with those we ultimately call our friends. There is usually common ground and common values that help us become closer. I feel that the autism community is one of those that is so much like my LDS community. Everyone I have met is a wonderful mother, friend, and is struggling to find answers and do what is right. It's amazing how much in common I have with people who have children with autism or any other special needs. It immediately links us together and we can talk for hours... and often do. It's true what they say: you don't know what it's like until you walk in someone else's shoes. I used to be very judgmental and criticized parents who had children who were unruly or disrespectful. I still don't like it, but now I have a better understanding of what is REALLY going on in the mind of the child. Most of the time it's not his/her fault.

A true friend will stick with you no matter what. I've had friends that I love dearly and felt very close to, drift away since my son's diagnosis. I know that part of it is that they just don't understand. However, I have made some awesome new friends in the past couple years and I wouldn't trade them for the world!!! We understand one another and don't feel we need to apologize all the time for our children. It's understood that our kids will behave inappropriately at times and we just deal with it in our own way. I love the fact that I can have friends who can give me counsel without being condescending or judgmental. I KNOW that they have walked where I have walked and so that means so much to me.

It's not easy being a good friend sometimes. I used to get my feelings hurt very easily, but have grown a rather thick skin in the past few years. It still hurts when I hear negative comments or when I see those looks of disapproval, but I don't let it get to me in the same way. I believe that there is good in everyone. No one wakes up each day and thinks to themselves, "who am I going to hurt today?" I know I am not perfect, and I am sure that I have hurt someone's feelings without even realizing it. I consider myself to be a considerate person, but I am only human. That is the biggest lesson I have learned about others. I am taught to love everyone at church and I honestly say that I do. However, I have learned to surround myself with uplifting and positive people. I have many friends, but only a handful of very close friends. I can only hope and pray that I am as a good a friend to them as they are to me.
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I hope you all have good friends who support
and uplift your soul. A good friend is like
a good bra: lifts you when you're down and
is always close to your heart.
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Looking Forward with Wilson's Disease

There is no reason to dwell on what happened in the past. The only thing I can do right now is look at the future. I could feel a lot of resentment towards the doctors who dismissed my daughter's illness or my worries. I could also feel a lot of anger towards the pediatricians who tried to make me feel like I was crazy. However, I have learned so much from my experiences and I have helped so many people that I almost look at it all as a big blessing in my life.

I have to share a recent experience I had with a wonderful doctor. His office is located in Florida (another state away from us), but he was referred to me by someone I trust very much. I called the office and they told me that he was out of the country and would not be back for another month. Last week, I checked my phone messages and he actually called me HIMSELF and left a very sweet message apologizing for not being able to contact me earlier. I almost fainted! I returned his call, but he was not in his office and his nurse said she would leave him a message to call me back. Of course, in the back of my mind I thought he MIGHT call me the next day or by the end of the week at best. Well... he called me on his way home that very same day!! We talked for about fifteen minutes and he was the sweetest and warmest doctor I have ever talked to. He listened to me and told me his recommendations for Sarah. He told me that he had actually called the Mayo clinic to inquire about the genetic testing that was done just to make sure that the diagnosis was correct!! He confirmed and validated the results to me. That made me feel so much better because I have had some doubts in the back of my mind concerning that very thing.

After telling him some background information concerning what I went through with previous doctors, he told me that unfortunately my story was not unusual. He said that basically most parents have gone through the same thing. He also told me that the neurologist who tested my daughter for copper and other various tests that others don't normally test for was "one in a million" and had a "head on his shoulders". I wish ALL doctors tested for those things. Some of the tests could explain so many disorders! It's amazing what blood can tell a doctor if you just give it a chance. I worked in the laboratory and I can tell you from personal experience that laboratory tests can sometimes tell the doctor more than the symptoms and physical exams... as a matter of fact, some doctors RELY HEAVILY on the laboratory testing. In many situations it's just a matter of what insurance will cover. That is so sad.

One thing I want to make sure to clear up is that the doctor explained chelation to me. I have been very scared about that and was unwilling to even consider it with my daughter. However, chelation is evidently the only way to get rid of the copper that has accumulated in the body. The zinc acetate is just a way to keep the body from building up any more copper in the body, but it doesn't get rid of what was there before. We are going to discuss that in depth at her first appointment with this doctor. I still feel that I wouldn't want to do something like chelation with doctors who don't know much about it. In other words, I don't want my daughter to be a guinea pig. At least with this doctor, he has treated almost ten pediatric patients so far and that is more than any other in my area. I want to discuss the side-effects and possible scenarios that could occur. After reading Dr. George Brewer's book, I was under the impression that zinc therapy was the first line of therapy for "asymptomatic" patients. That is something I definitely want to discuss with him. Is my daughter technically "asymptomatic" or not? I also want to know how to find out how much copper she has accumulated.

I have a dear friend who is not of my faith, but she reminded me that this experience is definitely a faith-building experience and a testimony that God does answer prayers. It's definitely a testament of my faith. I continue to rely on spiritual guidance and pray that the doctors do the same.
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Looking forward sometimes
means looking back and
realizing that you can
either agonize over
decisions made or learn
from those experiences.
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