Wednesday, October 8, 2008

My new favorite book

I just finished reading "Louder Than Words" by Jenny McCarthy. It only took me two days to read the book. I know it's a short paperback, but when I have only a few minutes each day to read anything other than children's books....I think that's pretty good! Once I started reading I could not put the book down. I absorbed every word and looked forward to each new chapter. There are so many things that echoed my blog! I could not believe it! I actually told my dear husband that people are going to think I read the book and then started up this blog... hehe.... I am just glad to see that I am not the only one in the world who feels like it's their mission to educate and offer hope to parents.

**Disclaimer: The only negative thing about the book is her choice of "colorful" adjectives and language. I know she can be vulgar at times, but I didn't expect it to come out in her book. Just keep that in mind if you are planning on reading it. You might not want your child to get a hold of the book. Most of it was anger and frustration at the doctors who failed to listen to her. I can totally relate. There have been numerous times when I think I would have used more colorful language if I were not LDS. One of my friends told me I should start using my Spanish more often. Hey.... that's an idea.

The thing I liked most about this book is the way she presented the facts. She didn't interpret what was happening at the beginning. She basically laid out all the facts and what occurred, thus letting the readers come to their conclusions. Although her story was nothing like mine, I still saw some parallels and similarities. I especially related to how the doctors treated her. I hope people don't think that she has no respect for doctors. I think that she just had the worst luck when it came to her son's treatment. She wound up getting a lot of young doctors who were still doing their internships and were not experienced. She begged for a neurologist and it took days before she saw one. I know how frustrating it can be when you have a child who is suffering and the one person you feel can help is not available.

She winds up being visited by the "Mormon missionaries" throughout the book and I thought some of the stories were funny. She actually thanked the Mormon Church at the beginning of the book. I thought that was sweet. She is not a member of our church, but she has a great respect for it. She definitely makes that known.

I don't care who you are... when you read about a mother's turmoil and heartache because of the pain her child experiences you can't help but feel it too. I actually cried throughout some of the chapters because I could just envision what she was going through. I remember when my oldest child had his seizures when he was very young. I worried that he would have brain damage. They called them febrile seizures in his case too. To this day I wonder if he may have suffered from vaccine injury as well. We will never know. Unfortunately, that's what they call it whenever they don't have any other explanation. Who knows how many children are misdiagnosed?

The climax of the book for me was when she went back in time after the doctor told her that her son had autism, and she took the reader through the first couple years of her son's life. She explained some of his behaviors and quirks that later would validate the autism diagnosis. The hand flapping or "stimming" was something she thought was cute. Also his tip-toe walking was another sign. He had a very limited vocabulary and played with toys differently than other kids his age. He had an obsession with certain cartoons or toys. All these things later would bombard her mind as she put the pieces of the puzzle together. It was truly enlightening.

Jenny could not have picked a better title for her book. She explains that the bond with her child was something that went so deep that it was "beyond words" because she could feel his love. I think that's true with most mothers. When a baby smiles that first smile it just melts your heart. The baby doesn't have to say, "I love you mommy" because you just know. I also think that "beyond words" can have another meaning. It's beyond my comprehension how some doctors will not listen to mothers. It's beyond my comprehension how even though autism is on the rise the medical community refuses to seek answers. Their solution is to drug kids. It's so obvious. If there isn't a drug for what your child has... then you're out of luck. That's insane! There are so many options out there. Why can't they see that some of them actually work.

"Beyond Words" by Jenny McCarthy is definitely a book that I would recommend. It's not a "how-to" book on autism, but it is filled with invaluable information and resources. At the end of the book she lists special diets and different resources. She mentions DAN doctors and you need to read the book to find out who they are. I am definitely going to do my research and find the nearest one.
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I hope that those of you seeking answers
will find them. I pray that those of you
who have lost hope will endure. The road
will not be easy, but it will definitely
be worth it!
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