I think this post is long overdue. Numerous people have commented on how they are afraid to label their child. I have to admit that at one time I was among those numbers. The problem is that people fear that once you label a child then they have to carry that with them for the rest of their lives. Well.... if you are wrongly diagnosed then I agree that is a problem. However, if your child DOES have a legitimate condition then you need to weigh the pros and cons. I am prepared to discuss those with you.
I will start with the cons..... If you research online you will find numerous sources that discuss the negative effects of labeling on children's self esteem and potential. You will read warnings to parents and teachers about the way sometimes labels will change the way children see themselves. It often will also change the way teachers and parents treat children and their expectations. All of these things are legitimate concerns.
I have already discussed how some parents will actually use a diagnosis as an excuse not to parent. I have often seen people make excuses for their children without correcting them because of their condition. The other thing that is a shame is the wrongful use of diagnosis. I had one psychologist tell me that some people in medical school will try and get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD so that they can get the prescription Ritalin and be able to concentrate better for their exams. All it takes is answering the questions correctly on the questionnaire and they can get a diagnosis. Some parents do the same thing to use the drugs to lose weight. That one REALLY shocked me!! I have to admit that I ONCE considered trying out Ritalin (when we were having all the problems with my son) just to see how it made ME feel since my son couldn't talk and tell me. However, I could not do it.... I tried, but my gut told me not to do it. I am so glad that I listened. I am sure there are parents out there who are addicted to it.
Another con is that sometimes children are misdiagnosed. Once you get a certain diagnosis then the "plan of action" goes into effect and it's kind of hard to stop the domino effect that follows. There are so many things that parallel one another. What if you have a child who is "hyper" and also has food allergies? That could easily be diagnosed as ADHD. What about the child who is just a "late bloomer" and is diagnosed as PDD? There are many examples, but I think you get the idea.
Now, what about the pros? The most important thing, in my opinion, is getting treatment and services for your child. Once you have a label then you can get the help you need. Often times you can get free services that are offered at the public school level. Our state has "Early Intervention Services" and it was totally free and helped my children very much. Early intervention is key to helping a child reach their potential. It has been my personal experience that parental involvement in the process is also critical. For example, you can't expect a speech therapist to come to your home once a week or every other week and forget about it. I talked to mine and received valuable information and advice on things I could do in between sessions. I know that is why it worked for us.
Another thing that is helpful when labeling is that you can move forward. When you don't know what you're dealing with then it feels like you are in quicksand just being pulled downward. The harder you try to get out, the deeper you sink. That is exactly how I felt before getting a diagnosis with my #2. Moving forward means that you can now include other people and form a team on behalf of your child. You don't have to do it alone.
Lastly, labeling helps or makes it easier for others who come in contact with your child to understand (sometimes) their behavior. Instead of thinking that your child is being a spoiled bratt or that you are not doing your job as a parent, you can enlighten others to the fact and most people will have a general idea of what you're talking about. For example, today I took my children to gymnastics and ballet. One of the teachers approached me and told me that my #2 was not behaving today and that he would at times run around instead of staying where he was supposed to be. I strongly reprimanded my son (including not letting him have a "treat" after class while his siblings all got treats)... then I could see that there was more because the teacher just kept looking at me and then he said that he had slobbered or spit on the matt and that he just didn't know how to handle that behavior. He then asked me if he was ADD or what? I quickly said, "No...he's not.....BUT...he IS PDD..." He had a puzzled look on his face. I then continued, "Autism?" Then he quickly did an "Oh....I see....." and I explained to him that normally I was at my daughter's ballet section of the building, but that I would make sure I was around next time so that he could just flag me over whenever he misbehaved and we could put him in "time-out". He was happy with that. He was a young kid about sixteen or seventeen and as he turned and walked away I got to thinking about his mannerisms and the way he communicated with me, and I got the feeling that he was probably in the autism spectrum himself. I could tell he was extremely bright, but there was something kind of "off" about him. I can't exactly pinpoint it, but when you've been around it enough, you just know.
Now...what do I think about labeling? In my experience it's been a good thing. I have obtained invaluable help from it. I was able to get my oldest two children into a very good school because of it. I received free services from the state because of it. I feel my children have a better chance of leading a more normal life because of it. Also, I feel it has given me options that I didn't have before. Ironically, narrowing down their issues to a "label" has opened the doors to many possibilities that I had not thought of. Part of this has to do with the fact that I have been exposed to a lot of information that has changed the way I raise and take care of my children. For example, with my oldest I learned that he needed a diet that had less carbs and more protein. In essence, a more healthy diet. That was a positive impact on everyone in our family. When my daughter went to the neurologist who gave me a list of foods she should avoid such as red dye, artificial sweeteners, hot dogs, etc... It was definitely a positive thing for our family. Those are things we should ALL avoid anyway. Then with my #2, we realized that children in the autism spectrum need a more structured environment and consistent discipline. Who DOESN'T need more of that?
I know it's not an easy decision. It is one that can't be made in haste. First, make sure that your child has the proper diagnosis. Secondly, weigh all your options. Lastly, take advantage of all the resources available to you to help your child. Don't look at a label as the person your child is going to be.... look at it as one of your child's challenges that can be overcome.
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"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the
exhilaration of victory." ~ George S. Patton
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"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze
you, they're supposed to help you discover who
you are." ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon
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1 comment:
great summary!
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