We can go without lunch... We can go without dinner..... But heaven help us if we skip breakfast!! It is the most important meal of the day and it usually determines what kind of day we will have. When you have children with autism or ADHD it is critical that they get a healthy breakfast. I've had some requests for quick and easy ideas for breakfast and I thought I would post that now.
My most favorite thing to make is eggs. I have discovered an easy way of making them. All I do is take one egg and scramble it in a microwave-safe bowl. I then sprinkle whatever I like on top. Some suggestions are: REAL bacon bits, cheese, shredded or chopped-up ham, and left-over taco meat (trust me... it's good). You then microwave it for one minute and you have an instant omelet. I sometimes fold it over and top with salsa. It's definitely quick and easy.
My next favorite thing is pancakes. I make large batches and freeze them and put them in Ziploc bags. All you have to do is pop them in the microwave for a few seconds and you've got breakfast! You can add anything to them. I have even added fiber to them. You don't have to use sugary syrup either. If you are concerned about sugar intake then top them with preserves or apple butter. You can also make them into sandwiches. My oldest loves the McGriddle sandwiches from McDonald's and you can make your own at home. Also, there are low sugar syrups out there and they come in a variety of flavors.
Another thing we love to eat is oatmeal. I usually don't bother buying the packets. I make my own. You can make it with milk instead of water to make it creamier. I love to add cinnamon to mine and it's so good for you. There have been studies that show that just 1/2 a tsp. of cinnamon can lower your cholesterol and even help with regulating blood sugar in people with type 2 diabetes. (This is my source: http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/10-health-benefits-of-cinnamon.html) One thing I used to do for one of my kids was put the oatmeal in a blender with a little bit of milk before cooking it. That will change the consistency to a creamier texture and you can even feed it to a baby that usually gags on it. My youngest loved it that way!
In the South we eat something called grits. It's basically a type of cooked coarsely ground cornmeal. We love to add cheese to ours. It's nice and salty and my kids all love it. They also sell them in various flavors and I love to try them out. My favorite is the cheddar cheese flavored kind. My kids love to eat them with eggs in the morning.
My kids LOVE to eat egg in a nest. It's basically a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle and you fry the egg inside on a skillet. You can make these ahead of time as well and freeze them. However, they don't take too long to make so I usually don't do that. Another thing along this line is french toast sticks. I dip wheat bread in egg that has been scrambled and has cinnamon sugar in it(coating both sides) and then just fry it up in a pan with butter. I sometimes sprinkle more cinnamon sugar once it's done. Then I cut the slice into four strips and give them different sauces such as syrup, preserves, cheese, or anything else to dip them in.
Of course, there is always the bacon, sausage patties, and links. I try not to feed them these things too often. My neurologist told me that nitrites and the preservatives in these things are not the best thing for brain development. We will have these usually when we are on vacation or if we go somewhere out to eat for breakfast. You CAN find some healthy alternatives out there such as Turkey bacon and sausage made of higher quality ingredients.
I hope this helped some of you. Maybe some of my ideas will inspire other ideas for you. It's hard when you have a child that has allergies or sensitivities. Trust me... I know. However, there are a lot of options out there for us. My daughter can't have chocolate, but we get carob for her. Also, if your child is allergic to eggs that can be a challenge but it's not impossible to substitute. I found this neat article online: http://vegetarian.about.com/od/vegetarianvegan101/f/eggsubstitute.htm (It discusses how you can replace eggs in recipes.) Hope this helps!
*************************************
Today's the day to try something new!
*************************************
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Mistakes Made Equal Lessons Learned
You know what they say... hindsight is always 20/20. I have found that to be true in my life. Don't you wish sometimes that you could go back in time and do some things differently? I sure do. I think if we were wise we would at least consider the advice of older and more experienced people such as mothers and friends, we would not judge others, we would slow down, and more importantly we would learn from our mistakes.
I've wanted to do this for quite some time. It's always inspiring to hear other people's stories about mistakes and lessons learned from them. I wanted to explore some of the things I have learned from my mistakes. I am hoping that you can learn from them and that I can spare you all a little pain. Take it from me.... I am not even close to perfect and I don't dare even try to be. I just do the best that I can and try to learn something new each day.
Lesson #1: "Judge not, lest ye be judged" It's so easy to see faults in others, isn't it? However, I have found that usually we are most critical about things that we are deficient in. For example, before I had children I remember seeing a mother at the store with a child in a shopping cart yelling at the top of his lungs. He was screaming and throwing a tantrum. The mom was so angry that she actually lost her patience with him. I vividly remember thinking to myself, "I would never lose my patience like that with MY child." Well.... famous last words...I think I have lost my patience with EVERY ONE of my children! Patience is definitely something that I had to learn. It did not come easy for me. Luckily, I married a man that has patience enough to spare. Otherwise, I am not sure if my children would have survived toddlerhood. :)
Lesson #2: "There is more than one way to do things." I have to admit that I am a bit of a creature of habit. I tend to do things a certain way and don't usually deviate. I have a friend who has more kids than me and her house is always clean. I asked her what her secret was and she told me that her kids do most of the cleaning. I was floored! I couldn't believe that she actually let the kids clean. I have always considered my house to be my domain and I didn't want to relinquish it. Well... I tried letting the kids clean one day and I found myself watching how they did things and if they didn't do it like I would have done it, then I would go behind them and do it again. (I must have OCD.) Anyways, I have learned over the years that you must let things go sometimes. There is definitely more than one way to do things and you only make it harder on yourself when you insist on YOUR way. Needless to say, I let the kids do a lot more these days. I still go behind them in certain areas....but hey, I have come a loooong way.
Lesson #3: "Never say never." You don't know how many times I have said, "I will never do that." It's amazing how things change as you get older. When I was in my early twenties I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I remember once someone telling me that she was no longer feeding her kids milk. I thought I was going to pass out! How could she deny her kids the calcium that they needed was all I could think about. She tried to explain how she nursed them for a long time and so by the time she quit nursing they truly did not need the milk from a cow, which was made for a calf and not a human baby anyway. Well... this was such an alien concept for me. As you all know... I eventually came to find out that what she said was true. There are other and better ways of getting the calcium. So now I try not say never because you just never know.
Lesson #4: "Don't be afraid to give compliments." You know how many times I have seen a stranger wearing a beautiful outfit and thought to myself, "Wow, she looks so nice." Perhaps you have had an opportunity as well to give a compliment but didn't out of fear that the other person might find it weird or something. Well.. I had the neatest thing happen to me the other day. I was having one of those days and I have to say that I truly did not feel very pretty. I was at the cashier when all of a sudden this elderly woman came up to me and said, "You know I was meaning to tell you something when I passed by you in the isle. You are so pretty." That was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced! I just looked at her and said, "You just made my day." I have to admit that I got a bit teary-eyed. Then she said, "I just didn't know if you would mind hearing that coming from me." I thought how sad it is that people can't just express their feelings that way without worrying about what others would think. I will definitely have to remember to be more mindful about giving compliments myself. You will never know the impact you may have.
Lesson #5: "Murphy's Law will get you every time." No matter what you think, no one is immune. Accidents happen no matter how careful you are. When my kids were younger I always carried a diaper bag. I would usually check it and make sure that it was stocked with supplies, change of clothes, and miscellaneous items. However, it never failed that the ONE time I forgot to check I would be out of diapers, wipes, or change of clothes. Of course, it would be on a day when my child would have a "blow-out" and I would end up having to continue running errands with a child in diapers instead of the cute outfit I dressed him in. It's funny how that happens in life. Just remember that it's all in the attitude. You don't know how many times I stressed about the little things. Don't fret and just remember that worse things could happen.
Lesson #6: The last lesson that I wish to share with you is probably the most important one and the reason that I am inspired to be an advocate and do this blog. It's definitely not my idea, but it's how I try to live my life.... "The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." I wish that I knew then what I know now. There are so many things that mothers stress over that we cannot change. There are so many things we have no control over. However, there are also many things that we can do to make a difference. I stressed over some of the silliest things when I was a new mom. I did not realize my potential or the power that I had inside of me. It's not until you are hit with challenges and adversity that you realize how strong you truly are. I remember when I used to look at moms with four kids in awe. I couldn't imagine how they did it. Now... here I am with four kids and can't imagine my life any other way. Don't ever doubt your abilities. All it takes is desire and motivation to accomplish anything.
*********************************
Don't let fear of failure hinder
you from following your dreams.
*********************************
I've wanted to do this for quite some time. It's always inspiring to hear other people's stories about mistakes and lessons learned from them. I wanted to explore some of the things I have learned from my mistakes. I am hoping that you can learn from them and that I can spare you all a little pain. Take it from me.... I am not even close to perfect and I don't dare even try to be. I just do the best that I can and try to learn something new each day.
Lesson #1: "Judge not, lest ye be judged" It's so easy to see faults in others, isn't it? However, I have found that usually we are most critical about things that we are deficient in. For example, before I had children I remember seeing a mother at the store with a child in a shopping cart yelling at the top of his lungs. He was screaming and throwing a tantrum. The mom was so angry that she actually lost her patience with him. I vividly remember thinking to myself, "I would never lose my patience like that with MY child." Well.... famous last words...I think I have lost my patience with EVERY ONE of my children! Patience is definitely something that I had to learn. It did not come easy for me. Luckily, I married a man that has patience enough to spare. Otherwise, I am not sure if my children would have survived toddlerhood. :)
Lesson #2: "There is more than one way to do things." I have to admit that I am a bit of a creature of habit. I tend to do things a certain way and don't usually deviate. I have a friend who has more kids than me and her house is always clean. I asked her what her secret was and she told me that her kids do most of the cleaning. I was floored! I couldn't believe that she actually let the kids clean. I have always considered my house to be my domain and I didn't want to relinquish it. Well... I tried letting the kids clean one day and I found myself watching how they did things and if they didn't do it like I would have done it, then I would go behind them and do it again. (I must have OCD.) Anyways, I have learned over the years that you must let things go sometimes. There is definitely more than one way to do things and you only make it harder on yourself when you insist on YOUR way. Needless to say, I let the kids do a lot more these days. I still go behind them in certain areas....but hey, I have come a loooong way.
Lesson #3: "Never say never." You don't know how many times I have said, "I will never do that." It's amazing how things change as you get older. When I was in my early twenties I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn and very hard headed. I remember once someone telling me that she was no longer feeding her kids milk. I thought I was going to pass out! How could she deny her kids the calcium that they needed was all I could think about. She tried to explain how she nursed them for a long time and so by the time she quit nursing they truly did not need the milk from a cow, which was made for a calf and not a human baby anyway. Well... this was such an alien concept for me. As you all know... I eventually came to find out that what she said was true. There are other and better ways of getting the calcium. So now I try not say never because you just never know.
Lesson #4: "Don't be afraid to give compliments." You know how many times I have seen a stranger wearing a beautiful outfit and thought to myself, "Wow, she looks so nice." Perhaps you have had an opportunity as well to give a compliment but didn't out of fear that the other person might find it weird or something. Well.. I had the neatest thing happen to me the other day. I was having one of those days and I have to say that I truly did not feel very pretty. I was at the cashier when all of a sudden this elderly woman came up to me and said, "You know I was meaning to tell you something when I passed by you in the isle. You are so pretty." That was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced! I just looked at her and said, "You just made my day." I have to admit that I got a bit teary-eyed. Then she said, "I just didn't know if you would mind hearing that coming from me." I thought how sad it is that people can't just express their feelings that way without worrying about what others would think. I will definitely have to remember to be more mindful about giving compliments myself. You will never know the impact you may have.
Lesson #5: "Murphy's Law will get you every time." No matter what you think, no one is immune. Accidents happen no matter how careful you are. When my kids were younger I always carried a diaper bag. I would usually check it and make sure that it was stocked with supplies, change of clothes, and miscellaneous items. However, it never failed that the ONE time I forgot to check I would be out of diapers, wipes, or change of clothes. Of course, it would be on a day when my child would have a "blow-out" and I would end up having to continue running errands with a child in diapers instead of the cute outfit I dressed him in. It's funny how that happens in life. Just remember that it's all in the attitude. You don't know how many times I stressed about the little things. Don't fret and just remember that worse things could happen.
Lesson #6: The last lesson that I wish to share with you is probably the most important one and the reason that I am inspired to be an advocate and do this blog. It's definitely not my idea, but it's how I try to live my life.... "The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." I wish that I knew then what I know now. There are so many things that mothers stress over that we cannot change. There are so many things we have no control over. However, there are also many things that we can do to make a difference. I stressed over some of the silliest things when I was a new mom. I did not realize my potential or the power that I had inside of me. It's not until you are hit with challenges and adversity that you realize how strong you truly are. I remember when I used to look at moms with four kids in awe. I couldn't imagine how they did it. Now... here I am with four kids and can't imagine my life any other way. Don't ever doubt your abilities. All it takes is desire and motivation to accomplish anything.
*********************************
Don't let fear of failure hinder
you from following your dreams.
*********************************
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Finding Strength in Numbers
How do you find the strength to carry on and do what you have to do for the sake of your child? How do you find the words to say when you are challenged? Who do you turn to when things get rough? For me, I turn to my Heavenly Father first, my family second, my friends last. Without this support group I would not make it. There would be no way I could find the strength or the motivation I need to be a good mother.
No matter what your challenges are, it helps to have a support group. It can consist of one good friend or a group of friends and family. They are the people that you can turn to for help. They are the ones that are there with a shoulder to cry on. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful support group. Number one on my list is my sweet husband. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and has put up with me all these years. We are going to be celebrating our 16th year anniversary soon and I honestly don't know where the years went! It's unreal. However, when I look back on all the things we have had to endure then it hits me that we have been through a lot in those years. We have been able to grow together and I feel so lucky to have had him by my side through all the ups and downs of parenthood.
Friends are precious to me. I have some that I have known for most of my life. I have also met many wonderful people who have come and gone, but who have left a life-long impression in my heart. I have learned some valuable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Some of those things I have shared with you all in my posts. I have always valued those who are older and wiser than me. It has always amazed me how many people limit their friendships to their small inner circles consisting of people their own age. I guess it's just a foreign concept for me since most of my closest friends are older than I am. Right now I have friends of all ages and all denominations. I have friends who have small families and others with large ones. I have groups of friends that share similar hobbies. Then I have those friends who understand what I go through because they have children with special needs.
The point I want to make is that it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you. Don't take it personal if someone doesn't want to be your friend once they meet your family with all its challenges. That has happened to me on numerous occasions. In my opinion, it's their loss not mine. My mother always told me, "it's better to be alone than in bad company." That is something that has stuck with me all these years. I would much rather have a couple of good friends than to have dozens who don't really care.
I have to admit that I get so excited each time I meet another mom who has a child like mine. My excitement comes from knowing that already we have a special bond. There is a special connection in knowing that she understands how I feel. I know that she won't judge me like other people would. There is also a mutual understanding that no matter what mistakes our children make it won't change our opinion about them or each other. That is something that noone could comprehend unless you were in our shoes. I also enjoy conversations we have and being able to hear someone say, "I understand" and know they mean it. It is truly priceless.
Another thing I have found is the online community. There are hundreds of thousands of families who are seeking others for support and understanding. There are chatrooms and blogs. There are also numerous forums where you can go and read what other parents are going through. You can post words of encouragement for others as well as post your own question or concern and receive invaluable information. This is one I found tonight: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/default.asp I went under google and typed, "autism forums" and had 350,000 results come up! That should tell you something.
One of my friends told me that there is a local support group for parents with children who have autism. She said they offer seminars and often have professionals come and speak on different topics. I have never attended a seminar and someday hope to. I was planning on attending one recently, but it was cancelled due to lack of registration. It was sponsored by our school and evidently it didn't get enough support. I think it's a shame. Hopefully, there will be another one offered soon. I will keep you posted.
The last thing I think is important to discuss is church and prayer. My faith has been my saving grace. There has been so many times when I have knelt in prayer pleading with God to help me. Reading scriptures and praying has helped me to not only cope with stress and discouragement, but also has given me the inspiration and the desire to do more for others. I know that my loving Heavenly Father has placed angels all around me all of my life. I will never forget the day when my daughter snuck out the front door when she was only two and couldn't yet talk. I was nine months pregnant and had laid down just for a second because I was literally exhausted. All of a sudden I felt a chill and felt an urgent need to check on my daughter. I looked all over the house and then when I realized she was not inside. I rushed out the front door. I literally ran down the street looking for my daughter. I was numb and had not yet felt the need to cry. When my neighbors saw me they all calmed me down and helped me look for her. I remember going back into my house and locking myself in the bathroom and pleading for the safe return of my daughter. It was Christmas eve and all I could think of was how horrific it would be if this would be the moment I would remember from now on. It had been twenty minutes and it felt like hours. When I went back outside to look for my daughter I heard others yelling out to me, "We found her......we found her... she's okay.....we found her!" I knew my prayer was answered. That was when I finally was able to feel again and I just sobbed!
I hope that you have the support that you need. If you don't, I urge you to find it. It doesn't matter if you have children with issues or not..... Every mother needs a support network. There is strength in numbers and I can testify that it makes all the difference. Get out and research what is available in your community. Go online and google forums. Surround yourself with friends who really care. Last, but definitely not least, there is strength in knowing that there is a greater force beyond comprehension that can lead and guide you if you would just kneel in prayer.
**********************************
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be
given you; seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you
(Luke 11:9)
**********************************
No matter what your challenges are, it helps to have a support group. It can consist of one good friend or a group of friends and family. They are the people that you can turn to for help. They are the ones that are there with a shoulder to cry on. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful support group. Number one on my list is my sweet husband. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and has put up with me all these years. We are going to be celebrating our 16th year anniversary soon and I honestly don't know where the years went! It's unreal. However, when I look back on all the things we have had to endure then it hits me that we have been through a lot in those years. We have been able to grow together and I feel so lucky to have had him by my side through all the ups and downs of parenthood.
Friends are precious to me. I have some that I have known for most of my life. I have also met many wonderful people who have come and gone, but who have left a life-long impression in my heart. I have learned some valuable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Some of those things I have shared with you all in my posts. I have always valued those who are older and wiser than me. It has always amazed me how many people limit their friendships to their small inner circles consisting of people their own age. I guess it's just a foreign concept for me since most of my closest friends are older than I am. Right now I have friends of all ages and all denominations. I have friends who have small families and others with large ones. I have groups of friends that share similar hobbies. Then I have those friends who understand what I go through because they have children with special needs.
The point I want to make is that it's important to surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you. Don't take it personal if someone doesn't want to be your friend once they meet your family with all its challenges. That has happened to me on numerous occasions. In my opinion, it's their loss not mine. My mother always told me, "it's better to be alone than in bad company." That is something that has stuck with me all these years. I would much rather have a couple of good friends than to have dozens who don't really care.
I have to admit that I get so excited each time I meet another mom who has a child like mine. My excitement comes from knowing that already we have a special bond. There is a special connection in knowing that she understands how I feel. I know that she won't judge me like other people would. There is also a mutual understanding that no matter what mistakes our children make it won't change our opinion about them or each other. That is something that noone could comprehend unless you were in our shoes. I also enjoy conversations we have and being able to hear someone say, "I understand" and know they mean it. It is truly priceless.
Another thing I have found is the online community. There are hundreds of thousands of families who are seeking others for support and understanding. There are chatrooms and blogs. There are also numerous forums where you can go and read what other parents are going through. You can post words of encouragement for others as well as post your own question or concern and receive invaluable information. This is one I found tonight: http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/default.asp I went under google and typed, "autism forums" and had 350,000 results come up! That should tell you something.
One of my friends told me that there is a local support group for parents with children who have autism. She said they offer seminars and often have professionals come and speak on different topics. I have never attended a seminar and someday hope to. I was planning on attending one recently, but it was cancelled due to lack of registration. It was sponsored by our school and evidently it didn't get enough support. I think it's a shame. Hopefully, there will be another one offered soon. I will keep you posted.
The last thing I think is important to discuss is church and prayer. My faith has been my saving grace. There has been so many times when I have knelt in prayer pleading with God to help me. Reading scriptures and praying has helped me to not only cope with stress and discouragement, but also has given me the inspiration and the desire to do more for others. I know that my loving Heavenly Father has placed angels all around me all of my life. I will never forget the day when my daughter snuck out the front door when she was only two and couldn't yet talk. I was nine months pregnant and had laid down just for a second because I was literally exhausted. All of a sudden I felt a chill and felt an urgent need to check on my daughter. I looked all over the house and then when I realized she was not inside. I rushed out the front door. I literally ran down the street looking for my daughter. I was numb and had not yet felt the need to cry. When my neighbors saw me they all calmed me down and helped me look for her. I remember going back into my house and locking myself in the bathroom and pleading for the safe return of my daughter. It was Christmas eve and all I could think of was how horrific it would be if this would be the moment I would remember from now on. It had been twenty minutes and it felt like hours. When I went back outside to look for my daughter I heard others yelling out to me, "We found her......we found her... she's okay.....we found her!" I knew my prayer was answered. That was when I finally was able to feel again and I just sobbed!
I hope that you have the support that you need. If you don't, I urge you to find it. It doesn't matter if you have children with issues or not..... Every mother needs a support network. There is strength in numbers and I can testify that it makes all the difference. Get out and research what is available in your community. Go online and google forums. Surround yourself with friends who really care. Last, but definitely not least, there is strength in knowing that there is a greater force beyond comprehension that can lead and guide you if you would just kneel in prayer.
**********************************
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be
given you; seek, and ye shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you
(Luke 11:9)
**********************************
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The diet factor (Part II)
I truly need to write a book, don't I? I find myself getting deeper and deeper into these topics and my entries end up looking like a magazine article. If you only knew how many hours I have stressed about these things and how much effort I have put into digging for the truth. You would be amazed.
When you go to the doctor and ask for advice on what you can do to help your child who has either autism or ADD/ADHD there is not much they can offer except for drugs. In my opinion, drugs are for children that are at the point where the behavior is either self-destructive or can hurt others. What can you do for a child who has mild symptoms? What options are there for an autistic child who is at the high functioning level? These are questions that I had to figure out on my own.
The first line of defense or treatment should be diet change!! I cannot stress that enough. Everyone knows that certain foods cause problems for some kids. There are some symptoms that are obvious. For example, I fed my daughter orange juice when she was young and she broke out all over her face in welts. I waited for months to feed her orange juice again and when I did she broke out in welts again around her mouth. Now I know that she is definitely allergic to orange juice. She could outgrow it, but for now we avoid it. Other allergies, unfortunately, are NOT so obvious. Behavior change is more subtle. In my case, I tried to keep track of my #2's diet and eventually realized that when he had "pink milk" he would act differently. The strawberry syrup has Red dye #40. That is a big trigger for many kids. It can cause problems with hyperactivity, irritability, restlessness, and being able to sleep. I have to admit that it took me a few weeks of keeping track. The way we found out was I was reading about it online and then decided to stop giving him the syrup, and we immediately saw a change in his behavior. The hard part was I had to make sure, right? So...I gave him some pink milk to test my hypothesis and that day we definitely saw a change. That night he had trouble sleeping and the next day he did not have a good day. Darn the scientific method!!
What do you do when others won't support you or think you're nuts? That is a good question. It's a known fact that most mothers don't want their children to stand out unless it's for a good reason (such as intelligence and looks). So, I wish people would back off when mothers are just trying to do their job. It's also easy to get defensive when others question why you do what you do. The thing to remember is that as long as YOU remain calm and just explain it in a way that others can relate then you are less likely to get the backlash. For example, you can either say, "I am sorry, but Johnny can't have candy right now since it's a known fact that eating too much sugar causes hyperactivity in kids with autism".....or you can say, "Thanks for offering the candy, but Johnny is not allowed to have candy right now." Do you see how just changing a couple of words changes everything? Most mothers would not even question it and "Johnny" doesn't have to hear you defend your decision as a mother.
I think it's important to be consistent with diets. I have to admit that I get so lax with diets. The hardest time for me is when we are not home. I am sure it's that way for most mothers. If I give my children an inch they will take a yard when it comes to breaking rules. My husband is like a kid when it comes to bringing junk food home. Sometimes he will get "fun" cereal as well and then I feel like if we don't eat it then it is wasting food and money. Consequences of breaking diets can last for days. That is why if we do it, we have to take that into consideration. There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but just remember to try and be consistent as much as possible.
Another point I want to make is that some children are deficient in certain vitamins and nutrients. That is why my neurologist started my daughter on a supplement before we even had a diagnosis. He said that certain deficiencies can manifest in different ways. I thought that made perfect sense. I am definitely not a nutritionist and so I could see myself unknowingly feeding my family a diet lacking in something. Why can't doctors test children for this on a routine visit? In my opinion, I think that they should test children after they start solid foods. They could start at age 2 and then do it every six months during their routine visits until about age 4 and then every year after that. (Of course, I am talking about children who are having health problems or issues in development.) Again, this would be too easy. They would much rather wait and see or give drugs.
As years go on I see preventive medicine going down the drain. The pharmaceutical companies have too much money invested in their products and they are going to push doctors to give it to their patients for everything. There are so many alternatives to medicine out there and there are things parents can do without the help of the traditional medical community. The thing I want parents to know is that there is much more to health than meets the eye. Our bodies are a marvelous machine that can heal itself (if you will let it), can tell you when it's sick (if you will listen), and has greater potential than you can imagine (if you only have the faith).
********************************
We live in a "gotta have it now" world
when it comes to everything. This
way of thinking will one day ruin our
health, destroy our planet, and end
everything that we call humanity.
********************************
When you go to the doctor and ask for advice on what you can do to help your child who has either autism or ADD/ADHD there is not much they can offer except for drugs. In my opinion, drugs are for children that are at the point where the behavior is either self-destructive or can hurt others. What can you do for a child who has mild symptoms? What options are there for an autistic child who is at the high functioning level? These are questions that I had to figure out on my own.
The first line of defense or treatment should be diet change!! I cannot stress that enough. Everyone knows that certain foods cause problems for some kids. There are some symptoms that are obvious. For example, I fed my daughter orange juice when she was young and she broke out all over her face in welts. I waited for months to feed her orange juice again and when I did she broke out in welts again around her mouth. Now I know that she is definitely allergic to orange juice. She could outgrow it, but for now we avoid it. Other allergies, unfortunately, are NOT so obvious. Behavior change is more subtle. In my case, I tried to keep track of my #2's diet and eventually realized that when he had "pink milk" he would act differently. The strawberry syrup has Red dye #40. That is a big trigger for many kids. It can cause problems with hyperactivity, irritability, restlessness, and being able to sleep. I have to admit that it took me a few weeks of keeping track. The way we found out was I was reading about it online and then decided to stop giving him the syrup, and we immediately saw a change in his behavior. The hard part was I had to make sure, right? So...I gave him some pink milk to test my hypothesis and that day we definitely saw a change. That night he had trouble sleeping and the next day he did not have a good day. Darn the scientific method!!
What do you do when others won't support you or think you're nuts? That is a good question. It's a known fact that most mothers don't want their children to stand out unless it's for a good reason (such as intelligence and looks). So, I wish people would back off when mothers are just trying to do their job. It's also easy to get defensive when others question why you do what you do. The thing to remember is that as long as YOU remain calm and just explain it in a way that others can relate then you are less likely to get the backlash. For example, you can either say, "I am sorry, but Johnny can't have candy right now since it's a known fact that eating too much sugar causes hyperactivity in kids with autism".....or you can say, "Thanks for offering the candy, but Johnny is not allowed to have candy right now." Do you see how just changing a couple of words changes everything? Most mothers would not even question it and "Johnny" doesn't have to hear you defend your decision as a mother.
I think it's important to be consistent with diets. I have to admit that I get so lax with diets. The hardest time for me is when we are not home. I am sure it's that way for most mothers. If I give my children an inch they will take a yard when it comes to breaking rules. My husband is like a kid when it comes to bringing junk food home. Sometimes he will get "fun" cereal as well and then I feel like if we don't eat it then it is wasting food and money. Consequences of breaking diets can last for days. That is why if we do it, we have to take that into consideration. There is no easy answer to this dilemma, but just remember to try and be consistent as much as possible.
Another point I want to make is that some children are deficient in certain vitamins and nutrients. That is why my neurologist started my daughter on a supplement before we even had a diagnosis. He said that certain deficiencies can manifest in different ways. I thought that made perfect sense. I am definitely not a nutritionist and so I could see myself unknowingly feeding my family a diet lacking in something. Why can't doctors test children for this on a routine visit? In my opinion, I think that they should test children after they start solid foods. They could start at age 2 and then do it every six months during their routine visits until about age 4 and then every year after that. (Of course, I am talking about children who are having health problems or issues in development.) Again, this would be too easy. They would much rather wait and see or give drugs.
As years go on I see preventive medicine going down the drain. The pharmaceutical companies have too much money invested in their products and they are going to push doctors to give it to their patients for everything. There are so many alternatives to medicine out there and there are things parents can do without the help of the traditional medical community. The thing I want parents to know is that there is much more to health than meets the eye. Our bodies are a marvelous machine that can heal itself (if you will let it), can tell you when it's sick (if you will listen), and has greater potential than you can imagine (if you only have the faith).
********************************
We live in a "gotta have it now" world
when it comes to everything. This
way of thinking will one day ruin our
health, destroy our planet, and end
everything that we call humanity.
********************************
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The diet factor (Part I)
I have done a lot of research on different diets out there that are supposed to help with ADD/ADHD and autism. There is so much information that it's almost overwhelming. However, the stories I have read have given me so much hope. I am determined to tell my story to whoever will listen.
As I have already discussed in a previous post, my oldest was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. Medicines seemed to aggravate his condition and the side-effects were horrible. Unfortunately, our LAST resort should have been our first. We decided to try a special diet that I read in a book that was supposed to help with his symptoms. It was basically a low-carb diet. We also had to avoid red dye, processed foods, and artificial sweeteners. It truly wasn't a hard diet to follow. My son seemed to love the new food I was feeding him for breakfast and he enjoyed not having to take his medicine. He always hated having to swallow those nasty-tasting pills.
We noticed a change right away. We actually saw results faster than with the medicine. It was also a good change for our entire family. I think that processed foods are not good for anyone. When your diet consists mainly of processed foods, your brain is going to suffer no matter who you are. In our church we have what is called the "Word of Wisdom" which faithful members follow. It includes abstaining from tea, coffee, tobacco products, and eating meat sparingly. There is also counsel to exercise the body regularly, eat fruits in season, and wholesome herbs. In my opinion, this is the best "diet" in the world. It is unfortunately one that most people don't follow because of today's lifestyle and fast-paced world.
Let me give you a scenario.... You are a busy working mother who probably stayed up late working on household chores and perhaps catching up on some t.v. shows to wind down from a long day. You wake up and have to get your child ready so you can take him to daycare or school on your way to work. You either pull out some poptarts (the yummy sugary kind that your child loves) or else consider a more healthy breakfast of cold cereal. You decide on the cereal since at least you add milk. It can't be too bad. Then you get ready and pack the bags and drop your child off. You work your 8-hour shift and then decide that you are too tired to cook dinner tonight and so on your way home you grab some dinner at a local fast-food restaurant with a drive-through. You pick up your child and head home. Once home you plop yourself in front of a t.v. with your child and eat your dinner. You put your arm around him thinking that this is such a bonding experience. You give him a kiss on the head and continue to eat your MSG fat-filled hamburger with bacon, lettuce, and tomato.... while your child munches on some chicken nuggets, which consist mainly of fillers and parts, and french fries. Does this sound familiar? It has become a way of life for many people. It is also a contributing factor for a lot of behavioral and health problems in children. This is part of the "environmental factors" that many say contribute to ADD/ADHD and autism.
What did I do to help my child with autism? It was very similar to what I did with my oldest. I have eliminated artificial sweeteners and red dye. I restrict his sugar intake. The biggest thing I do is try to feed him 5 times a day. That is the best way to keep his sugar level steady. He gets breakfast. At school he gets a snack. They have lunch at noon. Then when he gets home I feed him a good snack such as a sandwich or fruit. We finish the day by eating dinner usually by 6pm. That gives him almost two hours to digest his food and get settled for the night. A consistent bedtime is important for our son. He does best when he gets a good night's sleep.
As you can see, these "special diets" are not very extreme. They are actually good for any kid. They are also good for the entire family. There is plenty of scientific evidence to show that they work. I am sure that any pediatrician would agree that those diets are valid.
Now....I am prepared to talk about the controversial one.... The casein/gluten-free diet. My pediatrician doesn't believe it works. He actually told me that it was just a coincidence! Imagine that... does it surprise you? Well, I am here to tell you that something happened after I started that diet with my daughter. We started with just the milk-free part. I thought it was too extreme to change to no milk and no wheat overnight. We started using soy milk and products. I was surprised at how easy the transition was for my family. Everyone loved the vanilla-flavored soy milk that I got. My daughter didn't love the soy cheese but she ate it. I started to pay more attention to the health food isle and I noticed a lot of products that were available. I also went to a natural health food store and was amazed at the products available. It became more obvious that I wasn't the only one following this "crazy" diet.
I did my research on this diet and found a lot of proof that it works. I found numerous doctors who believe in it and who have a good explanation. My neurologist had told me that in some kids milk turns into a morphine-like substance in the brain. This could explain why my daughter slept so much. I have to look at all possibilities when it comes to my daughter since she has a metabolic problem and there are a lot of factors involved. As I said before, my pediatrician did not give credit to the diet. He said it was a coincidence. He asked me if I took her off of it, and I said that eventually I did. He responded, "See...that tells you right there that it wasn't the diet!" Well... let me ask you all this: if you have child who is having trouble speaking and you begin speech therapy and they start speaking better, does that mean that the speech therapy worked? Or is it a coincidence? Is there any way to prove it? My answer is that there is no way to prove that speech therapy works. People could say that given time the child would have learned to speak...right? There is also no way to prove that this diet works. It just does!!! However, I do have to say that it doesn't work with all kids. I think it's because not all kids are affected by milk in the same way.
I could go into all the medical information about how the diet works. However, I think there is a doctor that explains it better than I ever could. I found him one day on "youtube". I must say that he does have a lab and so he does have some vested interest in "selling" his ideas. However, my neurologist also told me the same information and he was just a doctor... not a philanthropist. This is the link to the clip and I urge you to watch it. It's not very long and it is very informative: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7op0m8BtmY
He explains delayed food allergies. He feels autism is an autoimmune disease. He thinks it's partly due to too many vaccines too soon. The target organs are the brain and the gut. He feels timing of vaccines is critical in some children. He doesn't think that vaccines should be one-size fits all. He feels it's critical to figure out the allergens that cause problems and he has a lab that can test for that. Early diagnosis and treatment before age of 3 is critical. That is why I think ALL parents of children with autism should be educated. The earlier they get started the better the chances. Dr. Dan explains that if there is a chance of autism then don't wait for a diagnosis that might not come until the age of 4 or 5. Start NOW! His site to find out more information on testing can be found at: www.sagemedlab.com
I am planning on trying to get that done with my son and I will try and keep you posted on what I find out and if I am successful. I am sure my doctor will not make it easy for me. I wish I still worked at the lab because I could easily have my children's blood drawn and do it myself. I think it would be a good thing to do that for all my children. There is still so much we don't know about food and the way it affects the brain. I just wish that someone had all the answers.
************************************
I know the truth will one day come,
although it's already come for some.
************************************
As I have already discussed in a previous post, my oldest was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. Medicines seemed to aggravate his condition and the side-effects were horrible. Unfortunately, our LAST resort should have been our first. We decided to try a special diet that I read in a book that was supposed to help with his symptoms. It was basically a low-carb diet. We also had to avoid red dye, processed foods, and artificial sweeteners. It truly wasn't a hard diet to follow. My son seemed to love the new food I was feeding him for breakfast and he enjoyed not having to take his medicine. He always hated having to swallow those nasty-tasting pills.
We noticed a change right away. We actually saw results faster than with the medicine. It was also a good change for our entire family. I think that processed foods are not good for anyone. When your diet consists mainly of processed foods, your brain is going to suffer no matter who you are. In our church we have what is called the "Word of Wisdom" which faithful members follow. It includes abstaining from tea, coffee, tobacco products, and eating meat sparingly. There is also counsel to exercise the body regularly, eat fruits in season, and wholesome herbs. In my opinion, this is the best "diet" in the world. It is unfortunately one that most people don't follow because of today's lifestyle and fast-paced world.
Let me give you a scenario.... You are a busy working mother who probably stayed up late working on household chores and perhaps catching up on some t.v. shows to wind down from a long day. You wake up and have to get your child ready so you can take him to daycare or school on your way to work. You either pull out some poptarts (the yummy sugary kind that your child loves) or else consider a more healthy breakfast of cold cereal. You decide on the cereal since at least you add milk. It can't be too bad. Then you get ready and pack the bags and drop your child off. You work your 8-hour shift and then decide that you are too tired to cook dinner tonight and so on your way home you grab some dinner at a local fast-food restaurant with a drive-through. You pick up your child and head home. Once home you plop yourself in front of a t.v. with your child and eat your dinner. You put your arm around him thinking that this is such a bonding experience. You give him a kiss on the head and continue to eat your MSG fat-filled hamburger with bacon, lettuce, and tomato.... while your child munches on some chicken nuggets, which consist mainly of fillers and parts, and french fries. Does this sound familiar? It has become a way of life for many people. It is also a contributing factor for a lot of behavioral and health problems in children. This is part of the "environmental factors" that many say contribute to ADD/ADHD and autism.
What did I do to help my child with autism? It was very similar to what I did with my oldest. I have eliminated artificial sweeteners and red dye. I restrict his sugar intake. The biggest thing I do is try to feed him 5 times a day. That is the best way to keep his sugar level steady. He gets breakfast. At school he gets a snack. They have lunch at noon. Then when he gets home I feed him a good snack such as a sandwich or fruit. We finish the day by eating dinner usually by 6pm. That gives him almost two hours to digest his food and get settled for the night. A consistent bedtime is important for our son. He does best when he gets a good night's sleep.
As you can see, these "special diets" are not very extreme. They are actually good for any kid. They are also good for the entire family. There is plenty of scientific evidence to show that they work. I am sure that any pediatrician would agree that those diets are valid.
Now....I am prepared to talk about the controversial one.... The casein/gluten-free diet. My pediatrician doesn't believe it works. He actually told me that it was just a coincidence! Imagine that... does it surprise you? Well, I am here to tell you that something happened after I started that diet with my daughter. We started with just the milk-free part. I thought it was too extreme to change to no milk and no wheat overnight. We started using soy milk and products. I was surprised at how easy the transition was for my family. Everyone loved the vanilla-flavored soy milk that I got. My daughter didn't love the soy cheese but she ate it. I started to pay more attention to the health food isle and I noticed a lot of products that were available. I also went to a natural health food store and was amazed at the products available. It became more obvious that I wasn't the only one following this "crazy" diet.
I did my research on this diet and found a lot of proof that it works. I found numerous doctors who believe in it and who have a good explanation. My neurologist had told me that in some kids milk turns into a morphine-like substance in the brain. This could explain why my daughter slept so much. I have to look at all possibilities when it comes to my daughter since she has a metabolic problem and there are a lot of factors involved. As I said before, my pediatrician did not give credit to the diet. He said it was a coincidence. He asked me if I took her off of it, and I said that eventually I did. He responded, "See...that tells you right there that it wasn't the diet!" Well... let me ask you all this: if you have child who is having trouble speaking and you begin speech therapy and they start speaking better, does that mean that the speech therapy worked? Or is it a coincidence? Is there any way to prove it? My answer is that there is no way to prove that speech therapy works. People could say that given time the child would have learned to speak...right? There is also no way to prove that this diet works. It just does!!! However, I do have to say that it doesn't work with all kids. I think it's because not all kids are affected by milk in the same way.
I could go into all the medical information about how the diet works. However, I think there is a doctor that explains it better than I ever could. I found him one day on "youtube". I must say that he does have a lab and so he does have some vested interest in "selling" his ideas. However, my neurologist also told me the same information and he was just a doctor... not a philanthropist. This is the link to the clip and I urge you to watch it. It's not very long and it is very informative: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7op0m8BtmY
He explains delayed food allergies. He feels autism is an autoimmune disease. He thinks it's partly due to too many vaccines too soon. The target organs are the brain and the gut. He feels timing of vaccines is critical in some children. He doesn't think that vaccines should be one-size fits all. He feels it's critical to figure out the allergens that cause problems and he has a lab that can test for that. Early diagnosis and treatment before age of 3 is critical. That is why I think ALL parents of children with autism should be educated. The earlier they get started the better the chances. Dr. Dan explains that if there is a chance of autism then don't wait for a diagnosis that might not come until the age of 4 or 5. Start NOW! His site to find out more information on testing can be found at: www.sagemedlab.com
I am planning on trying to get that done with my son and I will try and keep you posted on what I find out and if I am successful. I am sure my doctor will not make it easy for me. I wish I still worked at the lab because I could easily have my children's blood drawn and do it myself. I think it would be a good thing to do that for all my children. There is still so much we don't know about food and the way it affects the brain. I just wish that someone had all the answers.
************************************
I know the truth will one day come,
although it's already come for some.
************************************
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My new favorite book
I just finished reading "Louder Than Words" by Jenny McCarthy. It only took me two days to read the book. I know it's a short paperback, but when I have only a few minutes each day to read anything other than children's books....I think that's pretty good! Once I started reading I could not put the book down. I absorbed every word and looked forward to each new chapter. There are so many things that echoed my blog! I could not believe it! I actually told my dear husband that people are going to think I read the book and then started up this blog... hehe.... I am just glad to see that I am not the only one in the world who feels like it's their mission to educate and offer hope to parents.
**Disclaimer: The only negative thing about the book is her choice of "colorful" adjectives and language. I know she can be vulgar at times, but I didn't expect it to come out in her book. Just keep that in mind if you are planning on reading it. You might not want your child to get a hold of the book. Most of it was anger and frustration at the doctors who failed to listen to her. I can totally relate. There have been numerous times when I think I would have used more colorful language if I were not LDS. One of my friends told me I should start using my Spanish more often. Hey.... that's an idea.
The thing I liked most about this book is the way she presented the facts. She didn't interpret what was happening at the beginning. She basically laid out all the facts and what occurred, thus letting the readers come to their conclusions. Although her story was nothing like mine, I still saw some parallels and similarities. I especially related to how the doctors treated her. I hope people don't think that she has no respect for doctors. I think that she just had the worst luck when it came to her son's treatment. She wound up getting a lot of young doctors who were still doing their internships and were not experienced. She begged for a neurologist and it took days before she saw one. I know how frustrating it can be when you have a child who is suffering and the one person you feel can help is not available.
She winds up being visited by the "Mormon missionaries" throughout the book and I thought some of the stories were funny. She actually thanked the Mormon Church at the beginning of the book. I thought that was sweet. She is not a member of our church, but she has a great respect for it. She definitely makes that known.
I don't care who you are... when you read about a mother's turmoil and heartache because of the pain her child experiences you can't help but feel it too. I actually cried throughout some of the chapters because I could just envision what she was going through. I remember when my oldest child had his seizures when he was very young. I worried that he would have brain damage. They called them febrile seizures in his case too. To this day I wonder if he may have suffered from vaccine injury as well. We will never know. Unfortunately, that's what they call it whenever they don't have any other explanation. Who knows how many children are misdiagnosed?
The climax of the book for me was when she went back in time after the doctor told her that her son had autism, and she took the reader through the first couple years of her son's life. She explained some of his behaviors and quirks that later would validate the autism diagnosis. The hand flapping or "stimming" was something she thought was cute. Also his tip-toe walking was another sign. He had a very limited vocabulary and played with toys differently than other kids his age. He had an obsession with certain cartoons or toys. All these things later would bombard her mind as she put the pieces of the puzzle together. It was truly enlightening.
Jenny could not have picked a better title for her book. She explains that the bond with her child was something that went so deep that it was "beyond words" because she could feel his love. I think that's true with most mothers. When a baby smiles that first smile it just melts your heart. The baby doesn't have to say, "I love you mommy" because you just know. I also think that "beyond words" can have another meaning. It's beyond my comprehension how some doctors will not listen to mothers. It's beyond my comprehension how even though autism is on the rise the medical community refuses to seek answers. Their solution is to drug kids. It's so obvious. If there isn't a drug for what your child has... then you're out of luck. That's insane! There are so many options out there. Why can't they see that some of them actually work.
"Beyond Words" by Jenny McCarthy is definitely a book that I would recommend. It's not a "how-to" book on autism, but it is filled with invaluable information and resources. At the end of the book she lists special diets and different resources. She mentions DAN doctors and you need to read the book to find out who they are. I am definitely going to do my research and find the nearest one.
****************************************
I hope that those of you seeking answers
will find them. I pray that those of you
who have lost hope will endure. The road
will not be easy, but it will definitely
be worth it!
****************************************
**Disclaimer: The only negative thing about the book is her choice of "colorful" adjectives and language. I know she can be vulgar at times, but I didn't expect it to come out in her book. Just keep that in mind if you are planning on reading it. You might not want your child to get a hold of the book. Most of it was anger and frustration at the doctors who failed to listen to her. I can totally relate. There have been numerous times when I think I would have used more colorful language if I were not LDS. One of my friends told me I should start using my Spanish more often. Hey.... that's an idea.
The thing I liked most about this book is the way she presented the facts. She didn't interpret what was happening at the beginning. She basically laid out all the facts and what occurred, thus letting the readers come to their conclusions. Although her story was nothing like mine, I still saw some parallels and similarities. I especially related to how the doctors treated her. I hope people don't think that she has no respect for doctors. I think that she just had the worst luck when it came to her son's treatment. She wound up getting a lot of young doctors who were still doing their internships and were not experienced. She begged for a neurologist and it took days before she saw one. I know how frustrating it can be when you have a child who is suffering and the one person you feel can help is not available.
She winds up being visited by the "Mormon missionaries" throughout the book and I thought some of the stories were funny. She actually thanked the Mormon Church at the beginning of the book. I thought that was sweet. She is not a member of our church, but she has a great respect for it. She definitely makes that known.
I don't care who you are... when you read about a mother's turmoil and heartache because of the pain her child experiences you can't help but feel it too. I actually cried throughout some of the chapters because I could just envision what she was going through. I remember when my oldest child had his seizures when he was very young. I worried that he would have brain damage. They called them febrile seizures in his case too. To this day I wonder if he may have suffered from vaccine injury as well. We will never know. Unfortunately, that's what they call it whenever they don't have any other explanation. Who knows how many children are misdiagnosed?
The climax of the book for me was when she went back in time after the doctor told her that her son had autism, and she took the reader through the first couple years of her son's life. She explained some of his behaviors and quirks that later would validate the autism diagnosis. The hand flapping or "stimming" was something she thought was cute. Also his tip-toe walking was another sign. He had a very limited vocabulary and played with toys differently than other kids his age. He had an obsession with certain cartoons or toys. All these things later would bombard her mind as she put the pieces of the puzzle together. It was truly enlightening.
Jenny could not have picked a better title for her book. She explains that the bond with her child was something that went so deep that it was "beyond words" because she could feel his love. I think that's true with most mothers. When a baby smiles that first smile it just melts your heart. The baby doesn't have to say, "I love you mommy" because you just know. I also think that "beyond words" can have another meaning. It's beyond my comprehension how some doctors will not listen to mothers. It's beyond my comprehension how even though autism is on the rise the medical community refuses to seek answers. Their solution is to drug kids. It's so obvious. If there isn't a drug for what your child has... then you're out of luck. That's insane! There are so many options out there. Why can't they see that some of them actually work.
"Beyond Words" by Jenny McCarthy is definitely a book that I would recommend. It's not a "how-to" book on autism, but it is filled with invaluable information and resources. At the end of the book she lists special diets and different resources. She mentions DAN doctors and you need to read the book to find out who they are. I am definitely going to do my research and find the nearest one.
****************************************
I hope that those of you seeking answers
will find them. I pray that those of you
who have lost hope will endure. The road
will not be easy, but it will definitely
be worth it!
****************************************
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
To label or not to label? That is the question.
I think this post is long overdue. Numerous people have commented on how they are afraid to label their child. I have to admit that at one time I was among those numbers. The problem is that people fear that once you label a child then they have to carry that with them for the rest of their lives. Well.... if you are wrongly diagnosed then I agree that is a problem. However, if your child DOES have a legitimate condition then you need to weigh the pros and cons. I am prepared to discuss those with you.
I will start with the cons..... If you research online you will find numerous sources that discuss the negative effects of labeling on children's self esteem and potential. You will read warnings to parents and teachers about the way sometimes labels will change the way children see themselves. It often will also change the way teachers and parents treat children and their expectations. All of these things are legitimate concerns.
I have already discussed how some parents will actually use a diagnosis as an excuse not to parent. I have often seen people make excuses for their children without correcting them because of their condition. The other thing that is a shame is the wrongful use of diagnosis. I had one psychologist tell me that some people in medical school will try and get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD so that they can get the prescription Ritalin and be able to concentrate better for their exams. All it takes is answering the questions correctly on the questionnaire and they can get a diagnosis. Some parents do the same thing to use the drugs to lose weight. That one REALLY shocked me!! I have to admit that I ONCE considered trying out Ritalin (when we were having all the problems with my son) just to see how it made ME feel since my son couldn't talk and tell me. However, I could not do it.... I tried, but my gut told me not to do it. I am so glad that I listened. I am sure there are parents out there who are addicted to it.
Another con is that sometimes children are misdiagnosed. Once you get a certain diagnosis then the "plan of action" goes into effect and it's kind of hard to stop the domino effect that follows. There are so many things that parallel one another. What if you have a child who is "hyper" and also has food allergies? That could easily be diagnosed as ADHD. What about the child who is just a "late bloomer" and is diagnosed as PDD? There are many examples, but I think you get the idea.
Now, what about the pros? The most important thing, in my opinion, is getting treatment and services for your child. Once you have a label then you can get the help you need. Often times you can get free services that are offered at the public school level. Our state has "Early Intervention Services" and it was totally free and helped my children very much. Early intervention is key to helping a child reach their potential. It has been my personal experience that parental involvement in the process is also critical. For example, you can't expect a speech therapist to come to your home once a week or every other week and forget about it. I talked to mine and received valuable information and advice on things I could do in between sessions. I know that is why it worked for us.
Another thing that is helpful when labeling is that you can move forward. When you don't know what you're dealing with then it feels like you are in quicksand just being pulled downward. The harder you try to get out, the deeper you sink. That is exactly how I felt before getting a diagnosis with my #2. Moving forward means that you can now include other people and form a team on behalf of your child. You don't have to do it alone.
Lastly, labeling helps or makes it easier for others who come in contact with your child to understand (sometimes) their behavior. Instead of thinking that your child is being a spoiled bratt or that you are not doing your job as a parent, you can enlighten others to the fact and most people will have a general idea of what you're talking about. For example, today I took my children to gymnastics and ballet. One of the teachers approached me and told me that my #2 was not behaving today and that he would at times run around instead of staying where he was supposed to be. I strongly reprimanded my son (including not letting him have a "treat" after class while his siblings all got treats)... then I could see that there was more because the teacher just kept looking at me and then he said that he had slobbered or spit on the matt and that he just didn't know how to handle that behavior. He then asked me if he was ADD or what? I quickly said, "No...he's not.....BUT...he IS PDD..." He had a puzzled look on his face. I then continued, "Autism?" Then he quickly did an "Oh....I see....." and I explained to him that normally I was at my daughter's ballet section of the building, but that I would make sure I was around next time so that he could just flag me over whenever he misbehaved and we could put him in "time-out". He was happy with that. He was a young kid about sixteen or seventeen and as he turned and walked away I got to thinking about his mannerisms and the way he communicated with me, and I got the feeling that he was probably in the autism spectrum himself. I could tell he was extremely bright, but there was something kind of "off" about him. I can't exactly pinpoint it, but when you've been around it enough, you just know.
Now...what do I think about labeling? In my experience it's been a good thing. I have obtained invaluable help from it. I was able to get my oldest two children into a very good school because of it. I received free services from the state because of it. I feel my children have a better chance of leading a more normal life because of it. Also, I feel it has given me options that I didn't have before. Ironically, narrowing down their issues to a "label" has opened the doors to many possibilities that I had not thought of. Part of this has to do with the fact that I have been exposed to a lot of information that has changed the way I raise and take care of my children. For example, with my oldest I learned that he needed a diet that had less carbs and more protein. In essence, a more healthy diet. That was a positive impact on everyone in our family. When my daughter went to the neurologist who gave me a list of foods she should avoid such as red dye, artificial sweeteners, hot dogs, etc... It was definitely a positive thing for our family. Those are things we should ALL avoid anyway. Then with my #2, we realized that children in the autism spectrum need a more structured environment and consistent discipline. Who DOESN'T need more of that?
I know it's not an easy decision. It is one that can't be made in haste. First, make sure that your child has the proper diagnosis. Secondly, weigh all your options. Lastly, take advantage of all the resources available to you to help your child. Don't look at a label as the person your child is going to be.... look at it as one of your child's challenges that can be overcome.
****************************************
"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the
exhilaration of victory." ~ George S. Patton
****************************************
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze
you, they're supposed to help you discover who
you are." ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon
****************************************
I will start with the cons..... If you research online you will find numerous sources that discuss the negative effects of labeling on children's self esteem and potential. You will read warnings to parents and teachers about the way sometimes labels will change the way children see themselves. It often will also change the way teachers and parents treat children and their expectations. All of these things are legitimate concerns.
I have already discussed how some parents will actually use a diagnosis as an excuse not to parent. I have often seen people make excuses for their children without correcting them because of their condition. The other thing that is a shame is the wrongful use of diagnosis. I had one psychologist tell me that some people in medical school will try and get diagnosed with ADD/ADHD so that they can get the prescription Ritalin and be able to concentrate better for their exams. All it takes is answering the questions correctly on the questionnaire and they can get a diagnosis. Some parents do the same thing to use the drugs to lose weight. That one REALLY shocked me!! I have to admit that I ONCE considered trying out Ritalin (when we were having all the problems with my son) just to see how it made ME feel since my son couldn't talk and tell me. However, I could not do it.... I tried, but my gut told me not to do it. I am so glad that I listened. I am sure there are parents out there who are addicted to it.
Another con is that sometimes children are misdiagnosed. Once you get a certain diagnosis then the "plan of action" goes into effect and it's kind of hard to stop the domino effect that follows. There are so many things that parallel one another. What if you have a child who is "hyper" and also has food allergies? That could easily be diagnosed as ADHD. What about the child who is just a "late bloomer" and is diagnosed as PDD? There are many examples, but I think you get the idea.
Now, what about the pros? The most important thing, in my opinion, is getting treatment and services for your child. Once you have a label then you can get the help you need. Often times you can get free services that are offered at the public school level. Our state has "Early Intervention Services" and it was totally free and helped my children very much. Early intervention is key to helping a child reach their potential. It has been my personal experience that parental involvement in the process is also critical. For example, you can't expect a speech therapist to come to your home once a week or every other week and forget about it. I talked to mine and received valuable information and advice on things I could do in between sessions. I know that is why it worked for us.
Another thing that is helpful when labeling is that you can move forward. When you don't know what you're dealing with then it feels like you are in quicksand just being pulled downward. The harder you try to get out, the deeper you sink. That is exactly how I felt before getting a diagnosis with my #2. Moving forward means that you can now include other people and form a team on behalf of your child. You don't have to do it alone.
Lastly, labeling helps or makes it easier for others who come in contact with your child to understand (sometimes) their behavior. Instead of thinking that your child is being a spoiled bratt or that you are not doing your job as a parent, you can enlighten others to the fact and most people will have a general idea of what you're talking about. For example, today I took my children to gymnastics and ballet. One of the teachers approached me and told me that my #2 was not behaving today and that he would at times run around instead of staying where he was supposed to be. I strongly reprimanded my son (including not letting him have a "treat" after class while his siblings all got treats)... then I could see that there was more because the teacher just kept looking at me and then he said that he had slobbered or spit on the matt and that he just didn't know how to handle that behavior. He then asked me if he was ADD or what? I quickly said, "No...he's not.....BUT...he IS PDD..." He had a puzzled look on his face. I then continued, "Autism?" Then he quickly did an "Oh....I see....." and I explained to him that normally I was at my daughter's ballet section of the building, but that I would make sure I was around next time so that he could just flag me over whenever he misbehaved and we could put him in "time-out". He was happy with that. He was a young kid about sixteen or seventeen and as he turned and walked away I got to thinking about his mannerisms and the way he communicated with me, and I got the feeling that he was probably in the autism spectrum himself. I could tell he was extremely bright, but there was something kind of "off" about him. I can't exactly pinpoint it, but when you've been around it enough, you just know.
Now...what do I think about labeling? In my experience it's been a good thing. I have obtained invaluable help from it. I was able to get my oldest two children into a very good school because of it. I received free services from the state because of it. I feel my children have a better chance of leading a more normal life because of it. Also, I feel it has given me options that I didn't have before. Ironically, narrowing down their issues to a "label" has opened the doors to many possibilities that I had not thought of. Part of this has to do with the fact that I have been exposed to a lot of information that has changed the way I raise and take care of my children. For example, with my oldest I learned that he needed a diet that had less carbs and more protein. In essence, a more healthy diet. That was a positive impact on everyone in our family. When my daughter went to the neurologist who gave me a list of foods she should avoid such as red dye, artificial sweeteners, hot dogs, etc... It was definitely a positive thing for our family. Those are things we should ALL avoid anyway. Then with my #2, we realized that children in the autism spectrum need a more structured environment and consistent discipline. Who DOESN'T need more of that?
I know it's not an easy decision. It is one that can't be made in haste. First, make sure that your child has the proper diagnosis. Secondly, weigh all your options. Lastly, take advantage of all the resources available to you to help your child. Don't look at a label as the person your child is going to be.... look at it as one of your child's challenges that can be overcome.
****************************************
"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the
exhilaration of victory." ~ George S. Patton
****************************************
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze
you, they're supposed to help you discover who
you are." ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon
****************************************
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